Decisions, Decisions: How to ACTUALLY Start Making Them

Are you suffering from analysis paralysis? Is there a decision looming over your head you just can’t seem to make? Are you itching to take your life in a new direction, but can’t seem to pin down the correct path? Do you just feel a general restlessness , or desire to improve things, but don’t know exactly how to proceed? Are you just bad at making decisions, and have started to realize the negative impact it is having on your life?

Well, if you answered yes to any of those questions, today is your lucky day my friend, because this post is just what you need to get your butt in gear. The inability to make decisions presents a huge stumbling block to designing our experience more to our liking.

We look at people whose lives we admire, and wonder how they got where they are. While the path to their success may not have been easy, it all started with the simple act of making a decision.

This deliberate act is the crucial first step. Sometimes outside forces nudge you in the right direction; sometimes stuff happens that forces your hand, and you are left with no choice, but to make a choice. But, for the most part, you will only get whatever it is you are seeking by consciously making the decisions that will move you in the right direction—it has to come from within.

If you don’t know much about me, I went from average office worker to freelance writer living my dream of traveling long-term. Yeah, that ‘living my dream’ sounds a bit corny, but that is the perfect way to describe it. Right now I am penning this post from the beautiful island nation of Fiji, where I am housesitting until the end of October.  Then I will be spending a month in Bali, one of my favorite spots, home a bit for the holidays, and then who knows. Haven’t planned that far ahead yet.

 A lot of people tell me I’m so lucky, and I always kind of want to laugh a bit because luck had nothing to do with it. I got where I was by making firm decisions, decisions that were often quite uncomfortable. Decisions I didn’t think I would be capable of, until I started thinking differently.

Because of my experience with making those tough decisions that are necessary for pushing us towards the life we really want, and the people we really want to be, I feel I have some valuable advice to give, so just do what I say damn it! 🙂

So, onto my tips to exercise your decision muscle.

What is Driving the Desire?

If you give some serious thought to what is driving your desire to make a certain decision, you will have a much easier time making it. This clarity gives you confidence, and allows you to proceed despite all the yucky feelings that naturally arise, like fear and doubt. You will experience a sense of ‘readiness’ to finally make a move.

Back in the day when I was working in an office job I kind of hated, and was ready to burst out of my skin, I made a very bold decision to move to Japan and teach English. I had a passion for travel that was laying dormant, probably because on some level I never believed I would be able to do it.

This seemed like a good way to make it a reality, and I decided this was my next move. Within a few months, I was gone. Naturally, my announcement to do this came as quite the surprise to my friends and family, and to me as well. My parents questioned me, and expressed all sorts of concerns that touched on that doubtful part that resides in all of us. But, when I really evaluated what I was feeling, and what was pushing me towards doing this, I just knew it was the right thing to do.

Most of us avoid that deeper introspection, much to our detriment. The better we know ourselves, the clearer our path becomes, and the clearer our path becomes, the easier it is to see which decisions will honor it, and making these decisions becomes a whole lot easier.

Acknowledge It Could End Up Being the ‘Wrong’ Move

This is something you probably don’t want to hear, but if we can address this potential truth head on, we will not suffer that mental paralysis that keeps us from making choices.

Now, when I talk about this, I don’t mean being all pessimistic, and expecting things won’t work out, or going into the choice convinced you are probably making some huge mistake. And, notice how I put the word wrong in quotes—this is meant to convey I don’t believe that any move is flat-out ‘wrong.’

I am simply talking about acknowledging the fact we don’t have crystal balls, and can’t ever know for sure how things will turn out once we head out on a certain path. One of the reasons we have such a difficult time making decisions is this desire to achieve some sort of mental and emotional state where we feel 100 percent fabulous about our decision, and have not a shred of doubt it is the right choice to make, and that everything will unfold exactly as we envision it.

But, for a million different reasons, at some point, you may realize that you want to shift gears, and that this particular decision is not the right one. Maybe you undergo some amazing transformation after intense personal development work, and the person you are now is not a match for this path.

Maybe you have some profound experience that totally alters your perspective, and you want to do something completely different. Maybe whatever it is you were doing gave you a better sense of what you like, and don’t like, and you now have an even clearer picture of what you want, and you know for sure ‘this’ isn’t it.

No matter what ends up happening, whatever decision you make now, will be to your benefit in some way. It will move you closer to what you want and who you want to be in some shape or form, so just do it. It’s okay to make your choice without being 100 percent certain about it—I highly doubt there is anyone who feels this way about big decisions.

There are very few decisions in life that are permanent, and you can always change your mind. I remember when I was feeling a bit scared to move to Japan, I realized  the country wasn’t going to hold me there against my will if I wanted to leave, nor was New Jersey going anywhere. I realized if I didn’t like it, I could just come back, simple as that.

Stay in the Present Moment as Best You Can

When we think about changing our lives in some way, we tend to think very far ahead, and try to envision that ‘finished’ product. Sometimes it can be really hard to see it because there are just so many variables that will affect your path along the way, and that inability can make us reluctant to move forward.

Sometimes, that can make us feel really badly because we think of all that has to happen, and it can feel scary and overwhelming—the doubt we can get what we want washes over us. Sometimes we just aren’t sure where this decision will leave us even a month from now, and that fuzzy future creates a lot of internal discomfort.

It is our natural tendency to plan, and ‘figure out’ stuff, and while it certainly has its place in designing our lives, it can also put a real damper on things.

Do your best to just focus on the present moment, and take everything one step at a time. Think about whatever choice you are contemplating. What could you do today to get the ball rolling?

Just start doing something. You always want to keep your end result in mind, but don’t obsess over it. Have a little faith that things will work out, and along the way, you will get what you need when you need it.

So, just start that blog, send away for the information about that degree program or sign up for that night class teaching you how to start your own business. Do something that makes you feel good, that makes you feel like you are moving towards what you want, that makes you feel like you are making a deliberate choice.  

Hope what you read here sparked some desire to decide…not quite sure if I have said all I wanted to say on this matter…perhaps this will turn into a little series. We shall see what pops into this brain of mine.