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Podcast #250: If At First You Don’t Succeed, Choose, Choose Again
This is great and timely and I’m working on this! I’m surprised by how much I am habituated to be negative. Although I guess I’m always surprised when the unconscious becomes conscious. I’ve been trying to reformulate absolutely everything I experience as “win win”. I always can know the feeling of win win, even if my mind can’t imagine the details an actual win win.
Recently I experienced a conflictive situation, and I went into my “win win” feeling, but it was difficult to maintain it, and even though it worked out winning for me and winning for the other party, I still found myself wanting to stay frustrated and “I’m right!” It feels like I have had an unconscious preference to be stressed out and “right”. It wasn’t that I wanted the other party to lose, but something in me was/is not satisfied with win win. The ego needs to get something in order to win, and win win is just the absence of the problem, really.
Dr Hawkins used to talk about being addicted to The Juice. I used to think he meant excitement, but now I think he means all drama, whether good or bad. Because win win is just nice neutral, no drama. There is no drama in wisdom! And I really, really DO want win win, but the ego doesn’t, it prefers drama for sure, even if it’s negative.
I’ve also been very drawn recently to anti consumerism, but ego wants to make it dramatic. Talk about it, listen to others who talk about it, feel morally superior to people who love consuming. When the wisdom of spirit is “um, k, just don’t buy anything you don’t want or need.” It’s funny!
Hi JoJo
Thanks so much for this great comment. I really enjoyed reading it and you are so right about that addiction to drama and negativity. The awareness of it alone is a game changer because it creates a space to observe it and not get totally consumed. And in that space we are in the position to make a conscious choice to reject that mode of operating. And even when we find ourselves still doing it, it feels differently because there is a part of us choosing not to engage. The egoic mind has a strong sense of scarcity so it does believe to truly win or gain something, someone else must lose. If someone else doesn’t appear to be losing, we won’t value the ‘win’ as much! Great stuff here!