Baby Steps: 4 Little Things that Can Make for Big Improvements in Your Life

Itching to change and improve, but aren’t quite ready to tackle the ‘big’ stuff? Then this post’s for you.

When we think of becoming happier and improving our lives, we tend to focus a lot on the major things we need to change about ourselves, and all the demons lurking within that have been sabotaging our happiness all these years. And this is important and worthwhile work for sure.

 While some of us are ready to dive right in, others are a bit more reluctant, and I totally get it.

The idea of self-improvement holds some appeal, but perhaps you are a bit skeptical. Maybe you are afraid this path will turn you into a giant weirdo; you worry others may mock you. Just had to add here that if people are going to make fun of you for trying to be better, they are the ones with the problem, not you! But I digress….

The pain of staying the same is still less than the pain we think we would experience with changing, so even though we’re not feeling that great, we stay in this space. There may be some major denial at play. We have been pushing down our ‘stuff’ for so long, the idea of actually dealing with it can be really scary. Once those floodgates open, it can be hard to turn back.

All of this can lead to us doing absolutely nothing—it just seems like too much to handle, and too much work. But, the good news is, you can ease into the process. There are lots of little changes we can make in our lives that can make a huge difference in how we feel day-to-day.

And as you adopt these smaller changes, the bigger ones will not seem as scary. You will be in a different frame of mind and much more amenable to doing what needs to be done to get the results you desire.

Here are just a few to get you started:

Set Aside Some Quiet Alone Time Daily

The idea of being alone in silence with our thoughts may make you quite uncomfortable. We go to great lengths to avoid this situation much of the time. Our minds are like wild monkeys jumping from thought to thought, with most of them being unpleasant in some way. With that as your only company, it is understandable why we would feel this way.

But, there is so much wisdom in silence; here you can really tune into what is happening inside. In this silence, you can connect with that perfect part of you that knows the solutions to the problems with which you are grappling, and has the answers to all the questions you have about how to be better, what to do with your life and all that good stuff.

Go to a space that makes you feel relaxed. At first, you may not feel like much is happening, but if you stick with it, you will begin to see amazing results. Your mind will quiet down, and that will begin to happen all the time, not just in your ‘quiet time.’ You will gain some amazing insights and clarity.

Get in a Good Mental Space at the Start of the Day

Getting ourselves in a good space mentally right at the start of the day can make a world of difference in how the rest of our waking hours play out. While the bubble may be burst sometimes by one of a million things, over time, this habit will make you more resilient against the myriad stresses you face.

Think about how your day is starting now, and how it is making you feel.

Do you set the alarm so you can sleep until the very last possible minute, and rush around to get out the door on time?

Are you checking your email or Facebook before you even sit up in bed, and get all anxious about some problem with a client, or feel deflated because your latest status update didn’t get as much pop as you hoped?

Are you watching the news or reading the paper and feeding your mind a nice big helping of doom and gloom?

We tend to experience this intense rush of thought and emotion when we first get up; our minds are racing about all that needs to be done today, and all that was left undone yesterday. We may jump on one of our many electronic devices, or turn on the TV, right away, crowding our brain with even more ‘stuff.’

If we make an effort to get into a calmer state of mind from the get-go, we will go about everything we do so differently, from preparing our breakfast to checking our voicemail when we plop down at our desks in the office.

What could you do first thing in the morning to get into this calmer space? There is no one best way. Maybe it could be meditation, some cuddle time with your pet, sitting on your patio with your morning coffee, or walking around your yard for a few minutes to get the blood flowing. Whatever works for you.

Make a Gratitude List Daily

For any of you who have been reading this blog on a regular basis, you know I have discussed gratitude many times in various contexts. Maybe you are rolling your eyes, and thinking ‘’this biatch is talking about gratitude again?’ Well, chances are, if you are reading this, you like me, so maybe ‘biatch’ is a bit harsh. Perhaps the word might be ‘lady’ or hopefully ‘girl.’

Yes, yes I am. Know why? Because it is one of the fundamentals of feeling happier.

Most of us first-worlders are ungrateful tools– not because we are big fat jerks ,but because we are so used to all this great stuff, and we have never even come close to the kind of suffering that would truly make us appreciate these things. But, there is hope for us.

If you have the spark within to improve yourself, and be happier, chances are, you have various things going on that are making you feel shitty in one way or another.

Your feelings are your feelings and they are valid for sure—I am not telling you not to be upset about your lack of fulfilling career or your single status because at least you are not a refugee who had to flee their war-torn country, are living in abject poverty or has to walk five miles for clean water.

You were born into a cushier reality, and that is what it is; you have quite the leg up on making things better for yourself, and I highly encourage you to take advantage of this lot in life to create as much awesomeness as possible.

What I am telling you is making an effort to focus on the good in your life can change your perspective a bit; even if you are currently lacking things you would like to bring into your experience, you can still feel pretty happy, and the pull of the negative feelings won’t be as strong.

So, starting today, make it a habit to write out a list of things for which you are grateful, down to the tiniest thing, on a daily basis. You will be amazed at the shift you experience, and how you view your circumstances.

There is also a nice little side effect to being grateful for what you already have, which is more good stuff flooding in from all directions, with very little effort on your part.

Re-Evaluate How You Spend Your Time

While you may not have the luxury of complete control over how you spend your day, you have a lot more than you think. Fully owning this control, though, will take a bit of reflection on the choices you are making now.

Making time to do the things that make you feel good, and will move you towards the type of life you want to have ,and the person you want to be, is crucial. When I hear people talk about how they are too busy to do things that would improve their lives, like meditate , exercise or read a book, I just want to shake them really hard and be like… SERIOUSLY, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???

I’m willing to bet the average ‘busy day’ is filled with plenty of time for Facebook and other mindless surfing of the internet, brain cell-destroying television shows and the like. Nothing wrong with these things in and of themselves, but if you are unhappy with how your life is now, or these activities are keeping you from more worthwhile pursuits you claim you have no time for, then it is a problem.

Are you running yourself ragged doing a bunch of things that you deem ‘necessary’ but are really anything but? The key to making headway here is evaluating how you feel about the myriad tasks that take up your day—if you feel great, keep on it. But, if it makes you feel badly in some way, it is time to take a deeper look.

Do you really need to scrub every inch of your bathroom three times a week, when one would probably suffice?

Must you cook a five-course organic meal every night of the week?

Are you stretching yourself too thin by volunteering at every opportunity at your child’s school mainly because you worry about being judged by other mothers?

What are you doing now that is just not making you feel that good that you could just stop doing?

Maybe it might be cutting back on all those magazines full of ads and other content that makes you feel like crap about your looks, your wardrobe, your house and life in general.

Maybe you need to scale back on Facebook.

Maybe you need to choose your television programs more wisely.

Spending our days more productively, and in a way that eases some of our stress, can be a very powerful tool in your ‘change arsenal.’

So, there you have it. Four powerful ways to start feeling better and improving your life that don’t involve any major discomfort. Give these tips a whirl, and I promise you big results.