Law of Attraction: How to Combat Issues of Worthiness and Deserving

If you were to ask most people if they believed they they were worthy and deserved good things, I imagine the large majority of people would answer yes. What a stupid question they may think..of course I believe I am entitled to happiness.

But, I’ll let you in on a little secret…we often don’t feel that way. The degree to which we don’t can vary significantly between people, but issues of worthiness and deserving are something most grapple with.

And working consciously with law of attraction can really trigger all of that big time.

You may begin thinking back to all the ‘bad’ things you did in your past, and question whether you deserve really good things after having committed such deeds.

You think back to your crappy parents who said terrible things to you, like you would never amount to anything, and you start to realize how much that has affected you, and how much you believe this to be true.

We often judge worthiness on what people contribute, and if you haven’t done much that is considered ‘valuable’ by society’s standards, you may not feel very worthy of any sort of ‘rewards.’

You see how many people just get by, or live terrible lives, and you think what is so special about you..why do you deserve to get everything you want?

A lot of this is running in the background of our mind, and we are not fully aware of it. And, it is one of the biggest stumbling blocks when it comes to manifesting what we want.

After all, getting something is all about being a match to it, and how can be become a match to something we don’t think we deserve? How can we create a life of which we don’t think we are worthy?

We can’t really, and that is why it is so crucial to address this issue.

Your Sheer Existence Makes You Worthy and Deserving…Plain and Simple

There is a reason you are here in this human body. It is to experience reality from your perspective, and let the Universe expand and experience itself. Really, that is your purpose, and everything else you decide to do that makes you feel good is just gravy..I love that saying.

And part of that experience is stepping into your role as a powerful creator, and getting all the stuff you want, the stuff that brings you joy, and makes you feel purposeful, fulfilled and all that other gooey emotional goodness.

So, in that vein, the simple fact you exist makes you a worthy being; it makes you deserving of getting everything you want, and being happy because that is what you are freaking here for silly!

It doesn’t matter what you look like, your socioeconomic status, your job, your various fuck-ups, or anything else. The fact that you are a living, breathing being entitles you to all the best the experience of being human has to offer.

Anyone who tried to ever make you feel unworthy was just in a hell of a lot of pain themselves, and transferring it to someone else was a means of relieving the pressure. It had nothing to do with you. Any opinions about you were just that..opinions. Shitty ones, and not any sort of fact.

When you think of the various people in your life who f*cked with you emotionally in some way, examine them more closely. Are these the type of people you would really listen to about anything? Seriously..I can’t stress this enough..always consider the source before buying into what anyone says about you or anything for that matter.

Any proof you have amassed that makes you believe you are undeserving and unworthy is simply a reflection of these beliefs. If that is what you were feeling, the Universe had no choice but to deliver you experiences that matched this vibration. That’s all it could bring you.

I know that anyone who has studied LOA even a little bit has learned this whole ‘your reality is a mirror’ thing, but it is a reminder I always like to give. Because while we may get it in theory, our mind is still running that old programming pretty strongly, and we have a lot of momentum behind all the crap.

When you start changing your view of yourself, you will experience all sorts of wonderful things that validate these new and improved belief systems and predominant feelings.

When this truth really begins to sink in, there will be no more questioning of whether you deserve what you want, or at least it will get drastically reduced.

When you realize you are worthy simply for existing, all the stuff that has happened that made you question your worthiness will begin to fade into the background. The beliefs will begin to crumble. Those terrible feelings will begin to transform.

You Have to Act First and Worthiness Will Follow

If you are like many people struggling with issues of worthiness, you may wonder what you can do to start feeling more worthy. After years of believing you aren’t, and engaging in all sorts of destructive self-sabotage, all of a sudden falling in love with yourself can seem like a tall order.

You know the optimal way to fast-track yourself to Worthy Town? Start treating yourself like someone who is worth something. This may sound painfully obvious, but a lot of people don’t do this.

You really can’t cultivate worthiness until you start acting in a way that shows you love yourself, and deserve to be treated well.

You have to start doing things that show you care about your mental, physical and emotional well-being, that show you are worth being taken care of.

When you start doing these types of things, you will start seeing yourself in a different light. You will start to feel better all-around, and will want to do things that keep that momentum going. The best of you will begin to shine through.

Don’t get me wrong…visualizing and various sorts of exercises can be super-helpful, and engage in anything that feels good. In most cases, action is the last thing that should come.

But, when it comes to cultivating a sense of worthiness, the action is where it’s at. Your brain will get the message you are in fact, worthy. And this alone will make it easier to let go of what doesn’t support this new way of looking at yourself—change isn’t as hard as we make it out to be.

So, what can you start doing today that will help cultivate worthiness? It can be as simple as taking a nice relaxing bubble bath. What do you need to purge from your life that is making you feel unworthy? What behaviors are you engaging in that smack of unworthiness?

Dissect

In theory we can just decide a belief or perspective is now true, and the old ones aren’t, and act accordingly. We can just choose to feel better. I know because I have done it before.

But, issues of deserving and worthiness can run pretty deeply. Your mind, bless it, is going to insist on figuring out what is causing this, and you are probably going to have to appease it to some degree to make real progress.

It’s okay, just go with it. Let yourself logically analyze why you are struggling with these issues. Why do you feel the way you do? What did people say? What experiences made you believe this was true?

What beliefs do you hold that make you think you are not deserving of what you want? What makes you feel that you are not worthy and valuable?

In many cases, you may have some really obvious ones, like an abusive parent.

But, in some cases, like many of our ‘issues,’ some of the underlying ‘stuff’ that causes them are often kind of silly and crazy to our conscious minds. It is common to discover things that appear to be insignificant events ended up making a huge impact on us when we really think about it.

Pay attention to whatever comes up. Don’t make any judgments. Don’t determine whether you ‘should’ feel a certain way, or whether you are entitled to certain feelings or beliefs.

Don’t dismiss anything as not being relevant if at first it doesn’t seem to make sense..if it is coming up with this little exercise, it is extremely relevant, trust me.

It would be a good idea to write anything down that surfaces.

Don’t be scared of any emotion that pops up..I know it is uncomfortable, but let yourself feel it. The idea of not being worthy or feeling we don’t deserve things are among the shittiest of beliefs and feelings to have, but if that is what is happening, we have to let it run its course.

A little reminder for you..dealing with negative emotion that is already there is not the same thing as generating new negative emotion by focusing our attention on things that make us feel badly, and feed into our limiting beliefs.

This purge will be powerful, and get energy flowing in a better direction. These core beliefs usually can’t be shifted all in one go as they have manifested in your life in many different ways. Many beliefs were formed from these core ones, and probably impact various areas of your life, from money to relationships.

It would be a good idea to work through this in chunks, and just put your focus on one area for now. Chances are you are already doing this as you have probably have been working on a certain manifestation, but if you have set your sights on changing a dozen different things in your life, this might not be the best tack for now, and you want to downsize the vision for the moment.

The great thing about this is, as you begin to shift certain beliefs, and feel better overall, you will find this leads to a natural weakening of many other problem beliefs without actually looking at them specifically..you will just have a stronger sense of knowing they aren’t true. There still may be some work that needs to be done, but not as much as you may think.

Unless you have a monster degree of resistance around a specific type of manifestation, you will likely begin to experience improvements in all areas of your life, even if you happen to be focusing on just one in the immediate moment. Remember we attract based on our vibration, not the specific actions we are taking or what we are thinking about specifically.

You will more easily adopt better perspectives and have an easier time focusing your attention in way that actually makes you feel better, even if things don’t seem to be changing much at the moment.

In Closing…

Like I said earlier, our conscious mind may reject the idea this issue is one with which you are grappling. This is not just applicable to people who outright loathe themselves, and engage in all manner of destructive behavior, however. Again, it comes in degrees, and something worth exploring.

If we can clear out this particular muck, you would be amazed at what you can begin letting in. You are awesome, worthy and deserving, no matter how much your mind may fight you on that. It is a battle you can win, though, so be diligent about shifting that focus.

Your Turn…

What did you think of the post? Did anything in particular resonate? Do you think you have issues of feeling worthy just as you are, or deserving the things you want? Do you have any tips to offer?

 

Law of Attraction: How to Combat Issues of Worthiness and Deserving
Spread the Love!

18 thoughts on “Law of Attraction: How to Combat Issues of Worthiness and Deserving

  1. Hi KC,

    I know of someone who taught me to be worthy, and now, worthy folks get in touch with me, because I feel more worthy. Big time post because sufferers from this block number far and wide. I know you’ll help ’em tackle the worthiness issue because if we’re here, breathing, we deserve it…..and IT means anything in the world we intend and follow through on, to allow in to our experience.

    I figure, if you’re here, you may has well deserve big, right?

    Ryan

    1. Hi Ryan
      You are so right about our willingness to see ourselves as worthy as a means of attracting other people into our live who can mirror that back to us, and give us the opportunities of which we are truly worthy. Deserve big..I like that!

  2. Hi Kelli,

    This is perfect for me at the moment, thank you ever so much. As well as practising LOA I have also started to listen to a couple of hypnotherapy tracks in the evenings to help with self-confidence and self-esteem, and I have to say that I’m beginning to feel more positive overall.

    I’ve been saying to myself that the messages that were given to me as a child were lies, and that seems to help me somewhat. I’d much rather think that I have been deceived than to actually believe they are true, if that makes any sense. This small change in perspective seems to be helping, I hope I can come up with other ways to start shifting this negative beliefs, at least today I’m feeling like I can improve things. Hope it carries on!

    Thanks again x

    1. Hi Noa
      You are so very welcome..glad the content was resonant with you. Hypnotherapy can be very effective for reconditioning our thought patterns and beliefs..even when we are in a state of mild relaxation, we can become much more amenable to suggestion. As long as you are willing to accept you will feel better incrementally, and not expect to just drastically change your beliefs and feelings overnight, you will make progress more quickly than you can possibly imagine. The resistance is there, and you will begin to chip away at it..make peace with that and the work is so much easier.

      They certainly were lies, without a doubt. Your parents treated you that way, not because that is what you deserved or because there was something inherently wrong with you..they were projecting their own pain, anger and whatever else was brewing inside them. It had absolutely nothing to do you with you. Obviously as a child, we don’t have that wisdom and it can do a number on us. But as an adult, we can make those shifts, but it usually starts with coming to terms with what happened, letting ourselves feel the anger and hurt, purging it and then building anew.

      You will certainly come up with other ways to help you on this journey–we attract ideas and inspirations just like anything else we attract. And as your view of yourself improves, you will get that mirrored back to you in various ways, which will just reinforce it all.

  3. [ Smiles ] Kelli, I enjoyed your post.

    The part that dealt about us dissecting belief systems (especially the ones that do not work in our favour) and making the conscientious effort to feel better.

    I can’t wait to see what you are going to post next.

    Do have yourself a wonderful weekend!

    1. Hi Renard
      I am so glad you liked it. That reflection is usually a necessary step for most of us because our mind will have a hard time accepting the premise we can just decide to feel better and believe ‘happier’ things without any sort of analyzing of what has happened thus far, and where our current beliefs come from. That conscious effort to shift is important because of the momentum behind the negative beliefs and feelings..it will be easier to just keep feeling and believing those things. So long as we don’t force ourselves into an energetic space for which we are really not a match to at the moment..like sheer joy when we have been in the pit of depression, we can really start feeling better relatively quickly. Perhaps not totally good, but better for sure.

  4. I really like this post Kelli. I think people’s worthiness is something they don’t consciously think about much. Like, they wonder why their lives are crap or they have no money and it comes down to, what are you accepting as your due? I did a lot of work on myself in my 20s, and my self-worth went from ‘really shocking’ to ‘ok’, but because that was a big jump for me it felt like I had come a long way, and I kind of stopped there. Fast forward 20 years and suddenly I have realised that I had a lot further to go. So now I am really working on getting to ‘I deserve everything I want in life’.
    I’ve found that something that makes a HUGE difference is the people you let into your life, or allow to be in your life. If someone treated me badly, by complaining or feeling bad or accepting that person’s presence I was telling myself that I was not worthy of being treated well. So I culled all the people who were negative or treated me badly, or just avoid them, no matter who they are (some were tricky, because they were relatives, but I cut the excuses and did it anyway). Wow, let me tell you it makes a huge difference. When you surround yourself only with people who treat you well, you attract only people who treat you well. That makes you feel better about your whole life and you don’t waste so much energy wondering why such and such ignored you or put you down today or whatever. And then it’s just an upward spiral from there!

    1. Hi Bunny
      I agree that it is something most of us aren’t thinking too much about. Like you said, they are experiencing all sorts of things they don’t like but don’t stop to think that they are believing this might be exactly what they think they deserve. I liked the way you phrased that ‘accepting as your due’ and that is exactly what we are doing..we are accepting things, even if we don’t like them. And issues of worthiness are definitely tangled up in that somewhere.

      I couldn’t agree more about the people we surround ourselves with. I don’t think many of us realize how deep an impact our relationships have on our own ways of thinking and being. And we can be really bad at setting boundaries, and again, that speaks to issues of worthiness. It really is fascinating because consciously, this would all seem very strange to us.

      It sounds like you made a commitment to cut the fat from your life, people-wise, and it worked really well for you. Like you said, it may not always be easy, but sometimes we need to make choices that feel really uncomfortable to get the results we want.

    1. Hi Dennis
      So glad you liked the post. You are right that it can certainly keep us from what we want. It seems like you have made some headway in that department, and oh the difference it can make in regards to the decisions we make, and what we can allow into our experience, without us even trying. Thanks about the picture..that is a Bali pic.

  5. Hi Kelli:

    Interesting post, but the question I always ask myself is why would it happen now – it’s not happened before. I feel very deserving of good things, but things that I really want have never manifested before, despite receiving lots of signs that what I wanted was possibly on its way. It’s very disheartening to receive signs in dribs and drabs, yet the overall manifestation doesn’t happen. For example, I wanted my old job back and I received lots of signs that it was on its way, e.g., my extension at by previous job changed to my extension at my old job, I found an old paper that had notes from my first day of work at my old job, etc. yet the criteria changed for my old job and I was out of the running – this was a position for which I created the job duties and responsibilities. My former boss wanted advanced degrees, not experience. I was very well-respected at my old job and now nothing. Now I realize that perhaps it was not the best thing, but the signs kept coming over many months, so I kept my hopes up. Same with my beloved, much adored cat: lots of signs that his life could be prolonged and he could maintain a quality of life, yet it did not happen, and now I have to deal with this tremendous grief.

    What’s your take? Thanks.

    1. Hi there
      Looking back to past experience is one of the biggest blocks to manifesting…our mind can’t really help it. All it knows is past experience, and it will use that to determine what is possible for the future. Once we become aware of the ways our mind operates and how that can interfere with our LOA ‘work’ the most important thing we can do is consciously work on shifting our focus…we have to make the choice we will do something different rather than chalk it up to old habits and say we can’t control it. We may not succeed every time, but we have to be vigilant of these moments, and always vow to ‘do better’ next time.

      I know it can be frustrating when we see signs that we are aligning but then the actual manifestation doesn’t seem to be showing up. Essentially we kind of crap all over those smaller manifestations rather than seeing them for what they are, and the frustration, anger, doubt and all that other stuff become dominant and slow things down.

      It seems that you got very attached to a specific outcome–getting your old job back. When we do that, we can really begin to misinterpret our manifestations. We either see things that seem to support it, but when it doesn’t go that way, we freak out and think we did something wrong, when maybe we were being moved towards something else that was a good representation of what we wanted, but we stop it in its tracks.

      Or, things happen that appear to be a barrier, and we get discouraged. Again, the manifestation is always helping us move toward what we want. It may have popped up to see where there were still blocks, or to help clarify exactly what it is we want, which you may think is the old job, but may be something completely different..like an even better job that you may not be able to conceive of right now in your current energetic state.

      No matter what happened here, the core thing to remember is you can still get whatever it is you want..you may just have to sit a bit to examine the situation and see how it made you feel. And I bet that if you really allowed yourself to define what you want, Ill bet this job doesn’t quite fit the bill, and this situation can help you move towards what you really want.

      I am sorry to hear about your cat..I am a huge animal lover and a cat person through and through. I have lost pets and I know how upsetting that can be. I would venture to say this manifestation came to you as an opportunity to release some long-standing grief and other emotions that you may have been suppressing. Feeling a sense of grief really just doesn’t apply to mourning a death..we can feel a sense of deep loss about lots of things in life..friendships, unfulfilled dreams, the road not taken,etc…

      It sounds like you are being presented with an opportunity to really do some clearing..it might be uncomfortable, but if you are game, I suspect you will gain a lot of clarity and experience a big energetic shift. Just let yourself feel your feelings..especially anger. We often suppress the hell out of that one, and that can really make us stuck, energetically speaking.

      1. Thanks for your very caring, insightful response. You make a lot of sense and I am already looking at the nature of manifestations differently. You were right: I am usually not attached to a particular outcome, but because the signs seemed to be specific to the old job, I did hold on to that as the outcome, instead of focusing on the feeling.

        Also, thank you for your condolences on the passing of Robbie, my darling cat. Every minute he was awake, he made his presence known in a very charming, loving way, and I miss him terribly, but I am very grateful that I am the one who was his “mummy,” and that I am the one who was the recipient of all the joy, love, and happiness he created. I will pay more attention to grieving his loss and see what else that brings up.

        1. Hello
          You are very welcome. Sometimes that third party perspective can help. Our emotions, attachments and all that other stuff, can make it hard sometimes to more objectively evaluate our behavior and what happens to us. I have no doubt these manifestations contain very powerful messages for you.

  6. Hi Kelli

    This is your quality of doing full justice with a topic by covering its every detail and without losing the element of interest.

    Have a slight feeling of being worthless is the biggest curse for those more particularly who believe in value and want to spend a life worthy of envying.

    You well pointed that to create value and worth one has to be focused and move fast as this is an era of stiff competition and no one would turn his head to see you lagging behind.

    Thanks a lot for sharing a post with deep thoughts on worthiness and the theory of first deserve then desire can be fully learnt by reading this post. You are really awesome.

    Have a great weekend.

    1. Hi Mi Muba
      I am glad you found the post interesting throughout..I tend to go long..just can’t help it! I figure different things might resonate with different people so don’t want to leave out anything that comes to mind when writing. You are so right that we have to first believe we deserve something..that will set the stage for ease in which we allow it into our experience. You are quite awesome yourself!

  7. Hi Kelli

    Powerful indeed as I commend your bravery for tackling a topic that not many people would dare try to take on. Why? Because so many at one point or another, either by creating the mess ourselves or by replaying the trash people have spoken to us in times past. The tendency then is to feel unworthy.

    But as you pointed out, one must create value and worth for himself. Not many people care or even bother as people are just too busy with themselves.

    Thanks for sharing with your readers this topic. Have a great day and blessed week ahead.

    1. Hi Yvonne
      Thank you so much..I am glad you enjoyed the post. It is so important that we take actions that demonstrate we believe we are worthy. Even small things can send a powerful message. If we wait around for others to reflect something back to us that we don’t believe about ourselves, we won’t get anywhere. Like you said, we have to create it for ourselves. You have a great week too!

Comments are closed.

Scroll to top