The energy of authenticity is very powerful from a conscious creation perspective. It’s hard to allow in what we truly want when we aren’t being who we truly are.
The best opportunities, the best resources to help us get where we want to be or solve a problem, the best matches in relationships,the best clients, the insights, the clarity–it will remain elusive.
This idea is a great example of one of my favorite things to talk about–the theory vs. reality of manifesting, the idea there are lots of other elements in our energy that need our attention beyond whether or not we simply believe in the law of attraction. That of course is the core issue that needs our attention. Without that, everything falls apart.
But human energy can be pretty tricky, and our mind ‘junk’ creates all manner of energetic ‘discord’ that hampers our receiving, that takes us out of the flow .
Authenticity in Relationships
We so desperately want someone who loves us for who we are but we think that is inadequate or bad in some way, so we create facades we believe make us appealing as a partner, and then once we ‘hook’ someone, we can start being ourselves more. That usually works out great, right?
No one is really being themselves and then we all wonder why we can’t find the right person–when one person is being inauthentic, they are only a match energetically for another inauthentic person. We wonder why a relationship that seemed so promising falls apart. People seemed so different when we first met them and we feel duped, played or betrayed–most people weren’t purposely doing this.
You’re afraid people won’t like you for who you are and that may be true–no one is everyone’s cup of tea. It doesn’t mean anything.
Think how many awesome people you know in your life that you have no romantic interest in, who you know would just not be compatible because of different personalities, interests,etc…. Amazing person, but as far as a life partner, someone whose existence is intricately entwined with yours? Not a match.
But do you think there is anything ‘wrong’ with them? Probably not.
This doesn’t mean sharing your deepest darkest secrets on the first date before the appetizers come. It doesn’t mean treating someone you just met with the level of familiarity you would a family member or lifelong friend. But it does mean getting over the fear of being yourself, getting comfortable with ‘rejection’ by those who aren’t a fit.
We lament the state of dating and resign ourselves to the dysfunctional process it appears to be, thinking we have no other choice but to take part as is. We think we have to play all these bullshit games, all the while hoping we will meet someone who sees through the facade and loves us for who we really are, that rescues us from it all–the mind just loves all that sort of drama and exquisite pain.
If we aren’t being authentic, we can’t make authentic connections and form real friendships with people who are truly our people. It’s hard to attract our ‘tribe’ those who truly get us, who would support our dreams, our journeys and our paths.
Our inability to be authentic often creates a lot of emotional distress in the form of dysfunctional relationship dynamics–we don’t speak our truth, we allow people to take advantage of us. We may not be setting sorely needed boundaries with certain people in our lives.
Authenticity in Business
We don’t attract the dream clients and customers who are the perfect matches because we really aren’t powerfully projecting our unique opinions and perspectives for fear of offending others, seeming strange or inviting criticism.
Or coming from a place of scarcity, we try to be everything to everyone so we can cast as wide a net as possible of potential people. And in some cases, this won’t even lead to bad matches but none at all!
Fear of being ourselves stunts our efforts to grow our business. It hampers the creative flow of content creation, leading you to not create at all or end up with something generic and mediocre.
Because we aren’t attracting those best matches, there is a greater chance of ending up with clients you don’t like working with; they aren’t benefitting from your work together and it kills your confidence, making you think you aren’t good at what you do. You will end up dealing with a lot more returns and refunds.
You won’t attract the best opportunities to expand your reach and influence, and have your work land in front of the most promising prospects.
You won’t have the maximum impact you could have–and that’s not about sheer numbers, it’s about witholding your unique perspectives and not sharing your own personal experiences that people can really connect with and find the answers they are looking for.
Inauthentic Equals Unhappy
The myriad ways not living authentically affect us have far-reaching impacts on our emotional health and overall life satisfaction. There is an emotional heaviness you can physically feel when you are hiding who you are, when you aren’t living in full accordance with your values, when you aren’t doing the things that make you happy.
This may help you avoid other uncomfortable feelings that may spring up from being criticized or judged, but you’ll work through that stuff. Any emotional ‘ick’ triggered by this move into a more authentic existence will be mitigated by all the wonderful feelings it will produce–the breaking of those chains, of no longer feeling like you have to hide.
Many things you fear may happen may not even happen at all. And if they do, you’ll work through it. If someone decides this version of you isn’t someone that ‘works’ for them, then it wasn’t meant to be. Remember–you’ll attract the matches when that energy starts getting put out into the world.
So think about that today. How are you showing up in the world? Is it the ‘real’ you? And if it isn’t, why not? What are you afraid of? What do you think you have to lose? What do you think you could gain? What is one thing you could do today to help you step into that authentic self?
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