Law of Attraction: The Energetic Block You Didn’t See Coming

I like to talk about the theory vs the reality of ‘manifesting’ a lot because there are huge differences, that when understood, help you navigate energetic transformation much more smoothly. Like all theories, the ‘theory’ of the law of attraction doesn’t take into account the real world conditions of our human ‘energy.’ 

In theory, our only barrier was the fact we didn’t know of our creative power, we didn’t know our thoughts and feelings affected our life in the way they do, we didn’t know the power of intention and focus. And now that we know this, we can effect dramatic changes in our circumstances. This is true as this information forms the core of the new thought system. 

But again, the reality is human ‘energy’ is messy and there are other factors at play that must be addressed other than whether or not we believe in these sorts of spiritual laws and teachings. 

One of our biggest energetic barriers is one we definitely don’t see coming—that we don’t have something in our life because we actually don’t want it. 

The initial ego mind reaction typically consists of being offended by such an idea, of thinking this is ludicrous. We want this thing so badly, we think about it all the time, we try so hard to ‘manifest’ it, we take so much action to make it happen. Of course we want it. 

But the ego mind is a funny little creature full of all sorts of contradictions. And in many cases, this energetic conflict is a core issue for people, often the core issue. And from a ‘manifesting’ perspective, the energy of not wanting something is formidable, and needs to be addressed. 

So if your initial reaction to this idea was skepticism, or passionate outright dismissal, I ask you put that aside and be willing to consider this idea seriously, especially if you have been struggling to see changes for a long time.

Remember, the ego mind is a big old weirdo that has all sorts of strange ideas; it actually doesn’t care if you are happy so if its beliefs conflict with this goal, that isn’t something with which it concerns itself. 

Sincere exploration of this idea requires you to really go into your mind and think about things you may not want to think about, which may lead you to feel things you may not want to feel. 

True energetic transformation (and not just surface level changes in your ‘vibe’ that may lead to some good stuff, albeit, usually inconsistently) requires this of us and it’s really not that bad. All you want is to feel better, and this is the type of inquiry that gets you there. Remember at the end of the day, I repeat… all you want is to feel better. Remember this is the only manifestation worth a damn.

 

What the Ego Values Most of All

Spiritual teachings will tell you  we struggle to change unwanted circumstances because on some level we actually like them just as they are. They are benefiting us in some way. We see some sort of value in them.

Seeing what I uncovered in my own journey inside my mind, I wholeheartedly agree with this idea.

And the one thing the ego values most of all is being right. It loves to be right. The problem for us is the ego thought system is very negative, so the things it wants to be right about are very painful. 

Because it doesn’t care about whether you are actually happy or not, it doesn’t see a problem with this. It does not feel compelled to examine its thought system for the sheer purpose of making it more ‘positive.’ 

So, in looking at the ‘problematic’ situations in your life that you would like to change, that you seem to be struggling to change: As they are right now, what does your ego mind get to be right about? Where does it get to triumphantly declare “See, I told you so.’’ “See, I told you that would happen.” 

In your difficulty finding a relationship, what does it get to be right about? All men are jerks. No one wants to date a single mom. You are too old. There are no good people in your area. You only get one shot at real love and you had yours already with your college boyfriend. Dating after a divorce is just too difficult. Your life is too busy to make room for a relationship. Your ex just did too much damage to you. 

In your struggle with money, what does it get to be right about? You have never had a lot of money so you never can. People like you can’t succeed. The deck is stacked against the ‘little guy.’ There is too much competition. The economy or the government is holding you back. Honest people can’t get ahead. No one wants what you offer. People can’t afford your service. 

What more general ideas about how the world works, and what you are capable of, does it want to be right about? 

As soon as things start going well, something bad has to happen. All areas of your life can’t be going right at the same time. You had a bad childhood so your whole adult life will be messed up as a result. You can’t trust anyone. Life is unfair. No one gets to have it all. Life is a struggle. You have to settle and compromise. 

So what does your mind want to be right about in your situation? Do you want to let this go? Do you want to prioritize happiness over being right? Do you really want to be right about the type of stuff the ego mind wants to be right about? 

The desire to be ‘right’ is extremely powerful, which is why we can find ourselves in painful situations for so long. We may be miserable but we get to be ‘right.’ 

Like I always say, this work at its core is nothing more than conscious choice, and nothing can interfere with this choice-making ability but ourselves. If we don’t choose in favor of the beliefs that serve us, that is because we are choosing not to choose them. 

Even if it might take a bit to untangle yourself from this tendency, there is great energetic benefit in declaring a sincere willingness and intention to do so. That alone changes your emotional landscape. 

 

What Do You Value About Your Current Circumstances?

So continuing with this idea we see value in our unwanted circumstances, you need to ask yourself how this situation might be benefiting you in some way, how it may be protecting you in some way. 

Much of what you uncover will likely be ‘Psychology 101’ type stuff–nothing super sexy, deep and complicated. I always like to say that emotionally speaking, we are basic bitches. But this is a good thing…it makes our job a lot easier. 

If I had to name the one thing that slows us down the most on this journey, it would be this tendency to dismiss these obvious things for the sheer fact they sound so obvious. To assume that must not be the problem because we already know that.

Because of their ‘cliche’ nature we don’t actually deeply explore how the idea may be relevant to us. It just gets filed away in our mind along with everything else we ‘learn’ but don’t actually contemplate in any real way. We assume we must have ‘cleared’ that already and we haven’t. 

 And as the ‘struggle’ continues, we believe the problem must be something ‘deeper’ and we set out to find something that is probably not even there. 

There is a good chance for many of you, your romantic struggles stem from fear of intimacy, especially if you have been really hurt in a prior relationship. You will be protected from new hurt.

There is a good chance your struggles with your business stem from a fear of success since the ego thought system believes it comes from a lot of hard work and sacrifice, and that is unappealing to us. 

There is a good chance many people keep money from coming to them because they believe having it will complicate their life in some way, and they will avoid certain problems so long as they don’t have much of it. 

If your mind sees your ‘issue’ as causing numerous problems in your life, a part of you may be afraid to change that issue and then discover it wasn’t the actual problem, that YOU were the actual problem, that you were inherently lacking or deficient in some way. 

For example, someone may see their being overweight as the source of many problems in their life. And they believe if they lost weight, they would be able to get a relationship, they would get a better job, they would have more friends and so on.

But on a deeper level, there is  fear that the weight isn’t the problem, they fear THEY are the problem, so they actually don’t want to lose the weight and risk facing this very painful possibility. 

In all the above examples, there was a strong element of ‘protection’ from something the ego mind saw as undesirable.

In some cases, the mind sees not really a protection from something ‘bad’ but an actual positive benefit in the moment .So do you see anything ‘good’ about how your life is now? Remember, it is the ego mind making this assessment and it is all screwy.

Do your problems get you some sort of sympathy or attention? Do you get to absolve yourself of what the ego mind would see as undesirable responsibilities? Do other people do things for you that they might not do for you anymore? Do you take any sort of pride in your ‘struggle?’

 

What Bad May Come of What You Want?

That we believe our current situation brings us some benefit automatically implies the ‘wanted’ situation would bring things we don’t like, and it wouldn’t need to be mentioned. But it is very important to explore both sides and clearly identify the ‘opposites’ for clarity. It isn’t always a one to one connection.

So, what specific things might result from getting what you want that you would find undesirable? Identifying the value of the unwanted is a good springboard for naming these things. And again, a lot of this stuff might sound cliche, but cliches are such for a reason let’s not forget.

What downsides might you see to the serious relationship you seem to want so badly? 

Will it interfere with your career ambitions? Are you afraid they will see things in you about which you feel ashamed? Are you afraid of losing your independence? 

What do you fear would happen if you got the business success or the money you so consciously seem to want? 

Would you worry about family viewing you negatively in some way? Do you worry people will ask you for money? Are you afraid you will lose a lot of your time freedom? Are you afraid of attracting more attention and therefore potentially more criticism? Are you afraid of attracting unhappy clients who will confirm your fears you may not be good at what you do? 

What do you fear would happen if you healed your health problem? 

Would you have to worry about finding a way to earn money if you no longer qualified for disability or other forms of assistance? Do you think your husband would leave you? Has your illness become such a part of your identity you wouldn’t even know who you are without it? Do you enjoy the admiration from people who are so impressed with how you carry on in the face of such hardship?

Because the ego thought system is so fear-based, even the most seemingly positive changes will always have some sort of ‘negative’ element attached , and this is what will be of the biggest concern to that part of you.

Anything unknown or new is a threat, even if it seems on the surface to be a very good or desirable thing.

Understanding how the mind works is the fastest route to real transformation because this dysfunctional thought system is the root of every sort of ‘energetic discord’ you experience.

 

How Do We Change Course? 

Like I said before, the crux of this work is nothing more than conscious choice about what we believe. It is nothing more than conscious choice about whether we will go into our minds, look at what is there, and deal with the painful feelings created by our perceptions. 

Embracing the  ‘spirit thought system’ set of beliefs as I call it, would resolve all these energetic conflicts that result from embracing the ego thought system beliefs. And again, this is nothing more than a choice. 

Believing we are worthy and deserving of everything in this life for the sheer fact we exist would erase any money blocks that stem from believing you haven’t worked hard enough to deserve it. 

Believing that success does not require hard work and sacrifice would make it much easier to build a ‘successful’ business because you would not believe you have to give up anything you value now in exchange, you would no longer believe it would be some sort of painful process. 

Believing every experience serves your growth would reduce your fear of entering into another intimate relationship only to have it end, and be hurt all over again. You would understand that if that were to occur, it was supposed to be that way, it contains lessons to bring you to even greater happiness and you would be fine. 

And as a fellow human, I know the big question the mind asks around this is ‘How do I know the spirit thought system is the valid one? How do I know that is true and not what my ego mind believes? 

This is where trust and faith come in. This is where we have to really understand this journey is one of the heart, of  the emotions, not the intellect. This is where we have to stop being so arrogant and giving so much supremacy to the mind, and logical, rational thinking. 

The trick to all this is trusting your intuition, heart and feelings to guide your evaluation of ‘truth.’ You must be willing to believe in the idea that your feelings are a means of evaluating what is true and untrue. The things that feel badly (the ego thought system) are untrue. The things that feel good (the spirit thought system) are true. It is really that simple. 

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6 thoughts on “Law of Attraction: The Energetic Block You Didn’t See Coming

  1. Dear Kelli, beautifully worded!! To me, it all read like gentle poetry. I feel it is a very difficult topic, expressed with a lot of love, care, simplcity and tenderness. thank you! your article very much resonated with me and made me smile big and wide :):)

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