Once people learn about the law of attraction and the idea we create our own reality, our mind can really get carried away with the whole concept, and not in a good way.
We get super-attached to specific desires; we over-analyze every thought and feeling that pops in, we take all sorts of actions trying to force a certain result or channel.
And we come to find that we aren’t feeling too great; nothing is really changing. We hear a lot about detachment and ceding control. We probably haven’t been doing that too much, so we decide to give that a whirl. We know what we have been doing now isn’t working and we may be open to another approach.
Or we just can’t keep doing what we’re doing and we may begrudgingly enter this state. Regardless, it can be uncomfortable and here are some of my thoughts on navigating surrender.
Don’t forget to sign up for the next call in the Manifesting Like a Mofo series: From Foe to Friend: The Gift of Resistance. You can learn more about it here.
I never felt like making a vision board or doing any of these elaborate things were something I wanted to do, sometimes it worried me that I wasn’t going all out, lol, so I’m glad you are putting the real aspect into this stuff, I swear no one else at all that I have ever come across ever mentions any of these nitty gritty details, its like they are afraid that if they talk about it, it will bring “bad” stuff into their lives too. I know I used to be afraid, literally afraid to say anything in a negative way, I would really pick and choose my words so carefully so I would never use the word “never” or anything “bad” and it was almost so overwhelming I just set the loa stuff to the side for a while. It was like worse, like I was experiencing fear to think or feel fearful thoughts and it was making me crazy! (Its good to be mindful of our words I think, but I was going overboard)
Listening to someone say, its okay, is So, So, SO relieving. I spent about a month just doing nothing, very little, I would wake up and think, okay I do not have anything I NEED to do today. I’ve worked on alot of resistance and changing my beliefs and just being willing to trust, if I’m not ready to totally surrender. I’ve shifted that “I don’t need to do anything today” to more of “I have more than enough time to get done all the things I want to get done today”
I found I really enjoy writing down the things I am grateful for, or “manifestation log” as well as telling myself positive things when it feels right, as a supportive friend, not a “in-denial-gloss-over-bad-things” way
Hey Summer
Thank you for sharing your experience. Ill bet a lot of people can relate to what you are saying and how all that monitoring made you feel. I do agree that being mindful of our words can be helpful, but ultimately knowing it’s not our words that create so it’s okay to express our feelings and say what’s on our mind even if it’s ‘negative.’ This monitoring of everything can be a real stumbling block I think and I always like to let people know it’s okay to loosen up a bit and not to be afraid of your ‘humanness’ Gratitude lists can be a great tool…they key is doing things that actually get us into those more desired states.
This was a great podcast. I like how down-to-earth and candid you are, instead of doling out saccharine-coated fluffy advice. Doing all the “work” was something I initially reveled in, as a self-admitted control freak, the LOA was like a Godsend to me at first. I was taking a lot of inspired action, speaking affirmations, meditations, and now…I’m freakin’ exhausted, lol.
I’m at the point of surrender; I officially said “Fuck it” yesterday. As hard as it for me not to act, I’m just going to sit with my shit for a little while to regain my sanity. What is most painful for me is that my intentions are meant to benefit others, their not stemming from my ego. If I was sitting around all day LOA’ing for the lottery I wouldn’t be as pissed, ha ha.
Now I realize that although I was taking (regular) inspired action, the underlying feeling I had was to get me out of my current situation, and I was too attached to the outcome.
Hi TB
Thanks for your comment and I am so glad you enjoyed it. People seem to respond well to that style, and I try to keep it as ‘real’ as possible. That is funny you say that and now that I think about it, someone who likes to control would probably find a concept like this appealing, at least the predominant understanding of this concept that people have. One thing I would say about what you want to manifest…not sure the exact nature of what you want, but it is important to remember we really can’t create in anyone’s reality…people can certainly be a match to our assistance in various ways and can help them. It will be easier to manifest if you focus on yourself and then ‘spread the wealth’ to others. Trying to create from resisting our current reality is understandable but that energy can really slow things down. It’s challenging for sure but it sounds like you recently had a lot of clarity and that will certainly help things along.
It was like this was written for me specifically. Just what I needed to hear just when I needed to hear it.
Hi Andrew
You are very welcome. Glad you found it helpful.
I heard this, and I wept a bit. I was on the very cusp of getting what I want, and then something came swooping in and took everything right away. I am so tired of everything. I have given up but it makes me cry every single day. I am scared of hoping because I am supposed to move on. Deep inside I keep hoping when on the outside I am trying to move on. I try to convince myself but I unconsciously, I am like it will happen, breathe. I don’t know how to break out of it.
It sounds like you were very attached to a particular person or situation–that is trying to control the ‘how’ of the manifestation and this is what can block the best versions of what we want from coming to us. Feel your feelings–that is important but also remember that because this situation didn’t work out like you thought it would doesn’t mean it can’t happen. That is what your mind is telling you I’m sure and it’s just not true. It gets very attached to anything that it thinks fits the bill, and can’t understand there are many more possibilities.