If the law of attraction states our experience is determined by our thoughts, beliefs and feelings, are we messing things up for ourselves every time we are not in a state of total trust, happiness and alignment?
Thank God the answer is a big, fat NO! This post was inspired by a great question from one of my readers:
What do you think happens to positive energy and momentum when you have a bad day (you feel depressed and pessimistic for whatever reason). I understand that all you can do is feel better when you are able, but if you’ve maintained optimism, joy, excitement consistently for a long time, do you start over at square one in manifesting once you get back on track after having a bad day (or few days) or do you resume where you left off?
But before I jump into answering, I wanted to let you know that call #3 in the Manifesting Like a Mofo Series is open for registration:
Get Everything by Wanting Nothing: How to Stop Creating from Ego.
This is a great call for anyone who finds themselves super-attached to a specific manifestation, is sick of ‘wanting’ ,is ready to start creating from a space of just wanting to create for the hell of it, and/or doesn’t want to settle simply for what the mind is asking for. Learn more here.
And now back to the post…
The reason I loved this question so much is it perfectly illustrates how we totally over-think the LOA and our tendency to get obsessed with monitoring and analyzing how we feel, and how this just makes manifesting exponentially harder than it needs to be.
Yes, to be more deliberate in creating our experience, we do have to gain a greater awareness of how we are feeling, that is without question. We do have to work on cultivating more trust in the process and not focus so much on what we don’t like now, and try to create from that space of resisting our current reality.
We do have to work on shifting beliefs that aren’t serving us and have a willingness to feel better now, even if all the ‘stuff’ we want isn’t here yet.
But this doesn’t mean that you must work on being in a state of joy every second of the day or you’re screwed. This doesn’t mean denying and suppressing unpleasant emotion, because you think it’s bad or wrong to be feeling it, or that acknowledging it means bringing more unwanted things to you because you are being ‘negative.’
Energy and Manifesting are Complex When You Think About It
The teachings of the law of attraction are pretty simple when you think about it—in a nutshell, your inner world determines your outer experience.
Our ‘vibration’ is a collection of our thoughts, beliefs and feelings. The more ‘positive’ said thoughts, beliefs and feelings are, the more ‘positive’ things we will attract.
But when you think about how manifestation actually works—the core mechanism that is bringing us the experiences, encounters, ideas and inspirations, there is a whole bunch of stuff at play that we can’t even come close to understanding.
What makes you walk down the street you never walk down and then you meet your future husband?
What brought you and the person next to you on the plane together, who ends up delivering you a huge new client?
What was going on that, after you just lost your job, you run into an old friend you hadn’t seen in a decade, who works in recruiting, and says he has the perfect job for you?
When you think of all the beliefs you have amassed over your life, the tens of thousands of thoughts you think a day, and the variety of feelings you have about everything you could have a feeling about, there’s a lot of stuff going on in your energy field.
Luckily, to manifest a reality that is more to our liking, we just have to work on the ‘good’ stuff being predominant. When you think about it, it really couldn’t be any other way. To think we can achieve some state where all our beliefs are ‘positive,’ and we never have negative thoughts or feelings, seems kind of insane, no?
I know many people are convinced there are these hidden beliefs fucking with them, and that is why they aren’t manifesting, but more likely than not, the ‘saboteurs’ are fairly obvious and on the surface—we just don’t realize how much resistance we really have, and we swear up and down we are happy, trusting and all that good stuff, when we’re really not.
So given the complexity of our ‘vibration’ it stands to reason that having a bad day, being upset about something, having doubt creep in here and there, does not just ‘cancel out’ any positive momentum you may have built.
The Universe didn’t ‘forget’ what you wanted because you slipped up and weren’t all happy and shiny, and positively focused on what you want.
You don’t have to restate intentions, or go stare at your vision board intently for the next two hours to re-activate your desire.
Think Back to Before You Knew About the LOA
Ah, such a simpler time right? Seriously though, before you had any idea that you could consciously create your reality, before you started to more deeply examine your belief system, before you started working more consciously with your energy, I am sure you manifested plenty of good things.
It is easy to forget that the law of attraction is not some sort of tool you can use, but rather a way of explaining how our reality is created on the most core level. You have been manifesting this whole time, you just weren’t doing it as consciously and deliberately.
You likely had all sorts of beliefs that served you quite well, and you got lots of things you wanted without ‘trying’ to get them. You weren’t setting any intentions, you weren’t doing affirmations. You simply didn’t have any major resistance, so this stuff was able to show up.
Again, this kind of goes back to the complexity of our vibration and its contents. Manifesting is not an all or nothing proposition where you must believe one belief one million percent with all your heart, and totally not believe the opposite one iota, in order for certain things to come into your life.
Now that you know what’s up, you can truly begin to do what you came here to do—create all sorts of great stuff.
It’s What You’re Feeling, Not What You’re Doing
My interpretation of this part of the question ”do you start over at square one in manifesting once you get back on track after having a bad day (or few days) or do you resume where you left off?’‘ is that awesome reader is referring to the ‘work’ she may be engaging in to manifest.
Perhaps affirmations, visualizing, setting intentions, and what have you. And I cannot address this without bringing up something I have brought up many times before—manifesting is about what you are being, not what you are doing.
We don’t have to ‘do’ anything to manifest—our inner world is what creates our experience.
But obviously, we may feel at a loss as to how we go about shifting that inner world, and tools, techniques, programs and what have you, serve a very important purpose. We are navigating new territory and we need some help.
The programs, for example, can provide very helpful information, give us new perspectives, and provide a variety of tools with which we can experiment. When we pick a program that really resonates, we’ll probably get some awesome results.
When we engage with our tools and techniques, we are giving ourselves permission to focus positively, and in those moments, we are not so entrenched in ‘what is.’ When we use our tools, it can help build that positive momentum.
But it is so, so, add a million more ‘so’s’ crucial you understand that this is not what creates your reality.
These tools and techniques are useful in that they help you feel better—they are a means to an end. Technically you don’t have to do any of those things, but again, pretty much all of us will need them to help us along the path, especially in the beginning.
Tools can also be helpful because our mind likes we are ‘doing’ something to manifest—it is very uncomfortable with this idea that action is not what creates.
It is very used to action being the driving force behind creating our experience, and it has an expectation that taking action ensures some sort of result. And anytime we can get our mind to shut up, we’re certainly moving things along.
But the actual ‘work’ won’t change your reality if said ‘work’ isn’t causing any real shift in your energy, because it is your energy that creates.
Our tendency to place such a heavy emphasis on tools is due to our mind naturally trying to take an intellectual approach to manifesting—action equals results. If I do enough, something will eventually happen.
So, again, tools are super-helpful; the rituals can be wonderful. But just be sure you see them for what they are. Make sure you do ones that resonate and feel good to you. Don’t make yourself do them because you think that is what creates.
So, that’s my thoughts on that question…I hope it provided some satisfactory answers.
Your Turn…
What did you think of this post? Do you too worry that a bad day or just not feeling happy in general messes everything up for you? Would you add anything to the advice I gave? Looking forward to your thoughts as always.
I love the new look! Its awesome! I actually had an experience this week and I realized that even though I might not be taking much physical action as in using “external tools” or visualizing, that I have really be “working” very hard on my inner self, which, while good and hopefully shifting some stuff around, I am still doing all the forced action, but on an inner level. It doesn’t feel like a chore, but its like I’m doing it just to feel like I’m doing something instead of just enjoying myself. I have a feeling that if I can just trust enough to let go of all these inner actions and just “be” that my unlimited potential will become unlocked and allow all sorts of goodness to flow my way.
Still overthinking it all….that is my biggest hurdle so far 🙂
Hi Summer
Thanks…I am glad you liked it. I am very happy with the results–the woman I worked with was very good at what she does because when I went to her, I basically had no idea what I wanted yet she was able to give me exactly what I did! I think a lot of people can relate to what you are saying–our mind likes the idea of us doing something and we get an idea that we need to ‘fix’ ourselves or things can’t get better. It’s tricky finding that balance between doing the ‘work’ that is helpful and trying to force something by thinking if we just do enough, we’ll change and things will change. You are certainly right that just letting ourselves be opens up a lot…but it can take a bit to trust that. But I guess that is all part of the journey and all of it is helping you somehow.
23/10/15
Hi Kelli
I just listened to you latest interview and it was fantastic as usual and I could feel your elation talking about you awesome life. I am sure this got across to all the listeners as it did with me and the presenter of the show which I think you blew away with delight
Kelli it is no secret that I am a big fan and that we are connected in an ethereal way as I was brought to you or vice versa and you thoughts resonate with me deeply.
I have taken responsibility for my life and the manifestations therein and I am also working on clearing my blockages which obviously are present. I am acting on gut feelings to act in situations in the hope that one of these are the trigger to actually get to know what is blocking me from what I want to manifest.
Hence I am very interested to know the exact point in time when this happened to you and also to Ryan!? The exact point of discovery, the exact point of change when your and Ryan’s life ceased from being ‘ordinary’ like drifting along with the river being in a dead end security job and with you searching for meaning!?
Were you and he together when this occurred? Did you assist one another or was it a solo effort? I ask this because I believe there is a key to unlock potential of anything desired. However as you very well know Kelli there is constant conflict between the mind and the self; the mind being programmed block the self that has direct contact with the Universe!
I know my potential is limitless as is everyone’s and I sit on the periphery of all that I desire. I have listened carefully to all your advice which I appreciate to no end and share all your postings to my page on Facebook. Before we connected I have also tried all the techniques shown in The Secret and with other teachers in the laws of attraction but alas my ultimate blockages remain. Now as I have already stated I take responsibility for my life as it is now because this is my creation, my doing; thus the sixty five thousand dollar question how the heck do I change, discover my blockages, my barriers, and dissolve them into the nothingness that they really are??
You know Kelli, I do sometime visualise flying out to meet you in some exotic island and having dinner with you and Ryan (my treat) and talking about all the mysteries of life. It is set in a restaurant by the ocean where we are seated close to the window and the moon is rising over the waters and it is warm and cosy. One day I will know this will come to pass!
Yours sincerely
Dominic McKevitt aka
John Lennon Cohen
Hi Dominic
There really wasn’t one moment where everything changed for us magically…it was a progression and we are still changing, growing, dealing with shit, etc… So don’t put pressure on yourself to try and achieve this moment where your whole experience just completely changes in a huge, dramatic fashion–that is certainly possible but even if it did, you would still likely run into challenges, blocks,etc..–we are never really ‘done.’ I would also suggest letting go of the idea that there is some deep hidden block that you have yet to uncover–sure, we all have beliefs that we are not aware of, but I think we overestimate their number and impact on our lives. I used to think the same thing but then I would always realize that my ‘resistance’ was much more obvious, I just hadn’t been willing to admit to it or I thought I was being a certain way, but then I realized I really wasn’t and was operating from old patterns and beliefs.
Thank you so much kelli
Very cool new look, love the flow and feel!
Great post. I know it’s a topic I’ve wondered in the past. Do I have to start all over again after dumping my vibration? Thankfully not. You’ve focused several times recently especially on the point of the tools that are available are not what creates, it’s our feelings and vibration that creates. I appreciate that point so so much. I spent so many years doing the “tools” and getting pissed that nothing was happening. I’m grateful you make a point of this and remind your readers. I now don’t even bother with the tools unless I’m in the right emotional state.
Hey Corin
Thanks, I am glad you like it. I am very happy with how it turned out. I am glad you found that helpful–I realize I have been mentioning it a lot lately because I think it is so important. We can get caught up in the tools, thinking that this should create some change, but when it doesn’t we get very frustrated as you experienced for yourself. Our mind is used to action creating results and we carry that expectation in when doing the ‘work.’ Tools are very helpful but we have to see them for what they are…tools. I like what you said about emotional resonance–that is great to recognize that.
Fab new look! Your image text makes me laugh. I’m learning that it’s all about feelings not doings. We let it in. All of it. I am working more from a shits and giggles place and when having a bad feeling day I pull back, hit the breaks, and rest easier into the feelings, learning how to be less resistent to my stuff. Not comfy at times but damn does it really, really, really work to bring peace into gratitude into one’s life.
Thanks love. Signing off from Nicaragua. I mean the next room.
Ryan
Hi Ryan
I am glad you liked it…it’s super true and an important reminder that can hopefully take the pressure off a bit. You’re right…sitting with what is is very uncomfortable but it is key to working through it. The less we try to create from a space of resisting our current reality, the easier it gets!
Thank you for taking the time to answer my question. I was on the lookout for it, and i appreciate it!
To clarify this part: “My interpretation of this part of the question is that awesome reader is referring to the ‘work’ she may be engaging in to manifest.”
I understand that work doesn’t directly manifest anything (you have taught me well, haha). I was just referring to when my mood/feelings are back on track after a period of being sad or negative.
Anyway, thanks again!
You are very welcome. And yes, you always want to go back to feeling good in any way you can! But never feel you need to force it…don’t be afraid of your emotions.
“What brought you and the person next to you on the plane together, who ends up delivering you a huge new client?”
Beats me. Maybe it was just serendipity, or circumstance. Maybe it was meant to be. Who really knows?
But your challenging and enlightening post reinforces one key point – it’s ok to have a bad day. Sure it’s good to get back to a positive vibe as quick as we can, but bad days happen and we can learn from that.
Another point is that sometimes it seems that some people in the LOA movement are overly self obsessed. Is this the ‘new narcissism’? Sometimes it’s better to just go and help someone – a sure fire way to put the blues behind us.
Great new look for your site, Kelli!
Kim
Hey Kim
Beats me…great answer and I have found that giving up on trying to understand certain things has made it easier to tap into all the magic that is happening around us. Interesting about the ‘narcissism.’ I don’t think it makes people more selfish or want to get what they want at whatever cost, but it can certainly cause us to become overly preoccupied with what we want and finding ways to get it and that can just be really frustrating and painful! I think that helping others is a great way to boost our mood and maybe take us out of ourselves a bit. Thanks about the redesign…I am very happy with it. I feel like I have a ‘real’ website now!
Hi Kelli,
If you have found things hard and negetive, how can you change your inner soul? I havent had a date for 18yrs, i just turned off- determination i never knew i had, i see and am attracted to men, but my first thoughts are “il never see him again, or even talk with him” and guess what? Thats 100% what happens. Im getting too long in the tooth for children- my main goal in breathing. So with destroying such a cherished dream of marriage and children, im such a failure to myself. Im doing this- before, omg, i had faith, a strong faith, but late forties i have little. How to manifest a man- when you just have a void. A want and a doesnt matter attitude.
Hi Christina
Based on your comment you seem to have some pretty strong beliefs that you can’t have a relationship–you write it off before you even get a chance to meet people. Your ‘experience’ is proving your limiting beliefs correct therefore your mind holds onto it. Secondly, you have to realize that a husband and children are just a representation of a specific type of feeling and energy you want in your life, and that isn’t what you want at the core–it’s okay to want specific things of course but realizing that can remove that strong sense of ‘need’ we often feel around the things we want to manifest. You likely have a lot of pain and emotion you need to process–you have likely assigned all sorts of meaning to being single, not having children,etc..that feels really badly and feeling it is the first step to transforming it. That might be scary but it will be worth it. It is not too late to meet someone and while you may not be able to have children biologically, there is always adoption if that is something you felt like you still wanted. Sometimes getting what we truly want might not always look like our mind thinks it will, but it is always possible.
THANK YOU for this really helpful . Explains things a lot better I feel so much better I have been beating myself for exactly this and messing up things. Back on track . You really did a great job with explaining thing regarding this.
Hi Denise
Thanks for your comment and I am glad you found it helpful. That is all too common with us conscious creators and if we can just let the ‘bad’ stuff run its course without judgment or resistance, it goes away much more quickly and has much less of an impact on our energy.
Hi, I newly have started introducing myself to the law of attraction after a time of spent between a rock and hard place. the law of attraction started to introduce and point out how my thoughts, feelings, inner anger have only contributed to drift me away to whom I was person, that joly and happy person who enjoyed so many things in life.
However, when I started digesting and maybe playing with the law of attraction, I finally started how I was lost for the past 2 years. yet, i sometimes start crying when making a desire or wanting something good to happen in my life and maybe this is due to my inner feels and resistance as you mentioned in your article. My question is it normal to cry and feel weak when rereading a desire or a path I want to pursue through the law of attraction toolsL
Hi Sus
What you are experiencing is totally normal. We often want to manifest what we want from a space of feeling lack, unhappy,etc… so thinking about what you want is bringing up all your ‘stuff.’ This is something you want to be with a bit and process before you just jump right to being ‘positive’ and using all your focusing tools, like affirmations,etc… Then you will be moving towards the path you desire from a ‘cleaner’ space where there is less ‘need’ around what you want.
Hi Kelli, I just came across your post and I don’t know if this comment section still works because it’s so long ago. I’d like to know if I have taken actions what I know I shouldn’t have because it’s opposite to my manifestation, does it count as the above? If I turn back into a good vibration the next day and refocus on my manifestation can I get back to where I left off?
Hi Bess
You seem to be overthinking this a bit much! Common problem for most of us. Don’t always be monitoring your energy too closely moment to moment with the express purpose of trying to make something happen as a result, and getting all worried every time you don’t feel good. Think of it more like a ‘long game’ where you are aiming for a certain vibe at least a majority of the time.
Hi! I have a question. Firstly, I am bran new to your website. I really like your post and you have a really smart way of thinking. You gave very good advice. But my question is… If all of this you said is the case, why would I be able to flip and change a bad day into a good day? Also, why do so many people say that you have to put a hundred percent focus and belief into what they want to manifest, and that you must remove all of the doubts and negativity? This is the first time I am hearing that it is not the case. Also, you said that there is a lot going on with the law of attraction that we aren’t aware of, and I was wondering what that was. I am just trying to understand it all better and fix my misunderstandings. Thanks for the post and Merry Christmas. 🙂
-Marchi
Hi Marchi
Your questions are VERY broad 😉 Keep reading my blog and you will see my perspective on the teaching and all these questions will be answered..take what works, discard what doesn’t. Bottom line–don’t be so anxious about your ‘negativity’ That doesn’t help anything.
Absolutely fantastic post right here. And what a great posed question to drive it. This helped immensely!
Hi Charles
You are very welcome. Glad it was helpful!