Law of Attraction: When Your Good Feelings are Shot to Hell Unexpectedly

So you’ve been doing all of your law of attraction ‘work’ like a good little manifestor and things are coming along quite swimmingly. You’re feeling great, and excited about all the awesomeness, that will surely be raining down upon you in the near future.

So many manifestations have been coming in to show you are right on target. You have finally found your groove, feel like you have leveled up vibration-wise, and are operating from a whole new level of consciousness.

Everything’s coming up roses, and nothing can hold you down. And then BAM…something happens that totally knocks you out of this space pretty much instantly. You lose your job. You find out your father has cancer. Some long-forgotten mistake at work comes back to bite you in the ass in a big way. You are getting audited by the IRS.

This shit can be painful no matter what, but us LOA folk can be particularly sensitive to these types of events. We are doing all this work to feel good, and to improve our life experience, and the higher we begin to vibe, the more acutely we feel resistance.

That everything was going so well makes this event seem that much more painful.

We have probably set some really unrealistic—yes I used that word because it seems fitting here even though I am not normally not a fan—expectations that we would create this perfect life where we would never experience anything bad again, and we would never, ever feel any trace of negative emotion for the rest of our lives.

We are not really aware that we have this expectation all the time. But if you are into personal development in any form, law of attraction or no law of attraction, there is some part of you that is craving this outcome, and thinks it is perhaps possible. And the fact that it is unlikely to happen causes us all sorts of suffering. But I digress as I often do.

This post was inspired by a personal experience that really threw me for a loop. My mother had noticed some issues that prompted her to seek medical attention. And the initial exam presented some troubling symptoms that were common indicators of a particular type of an aggressive cancer that was likely in an advanced stage.

I won’t give you all the details as it is not really necessary. But, I was really scared. Based on research I had done, this fear wasn’t totally unfounded. Researching shit on the internet when it comes to health can be a great thing, but it can also be a terrible thing.

My mother had basically decided she had end stage cancer and the end was nigh. I was trying to be positive, but I too, was thinking this could have been the case as well. When it comes to the unknown, we tend to assume the worst pretty much each and every time as we all know. And Google certainly wasn’t helping things.

She then experienced some more troubling symptoms that landed her in the emergency room a few days before I came home, that didn’t resolve itself. And about two hours after getting back to NJ, I ended up taking her right back to the hospital. She was admitted, and more troubling stuff was brought to light. Surgery was scheduled,at which time, the doctor would be able to tell us if she had cancer.

Having already lost my father to cancer several years back, the idea of losing my mother too, was understandably quite upsetting. I’m not a kid, but not exactly an age where it would be typical to have had both parents pass on by now.

The last few weeks were really tough on me, and I hadn’t been that ‘off’ in quite awhile. I had been vibing really high and had experienced some major shifts, and this made it all the more painful.

It turns out my mother is going to be okay. She just got home from the hospital yesterday and is recovering nicely. I could say that all that worrying was ‘for nothing.’ But it really wasn’t. It served a purpose and no experience is ever wasted.

So I wanted to share some helpful tips for coping during these times.

You’ll Be Off Your Game…It’s Okay

Most of us are not so stable in our vibration, and so zen, we will be able to feel good no matter what is happening. Shit will happen that will scare us, make us feel terrible and what have you. You may act in ways that will make you feel like you have totally ‘regressed’ and haven’t learned a damn thing.

You’ll likely be mad at yourself for not handling things in the way you think you ‘should’ be. And this will all just make you feel worse. These types of situations are triggering stuff that has likely been an issue for quite awhile. And because it really hasn’t been cleared too well yet, it will feel really intense, and you will get sucked in big-time.

This situation triggered all sorts of memories of dealing with my father when he had cancer…watching him get sicker, the intense fear and anxiety I felt all the time, those last days in the hospital. The thought of having to go through it again filled me with panic.

Like I mentioned before, resistance can feel more intense when we are vibing higher ,because the sense of contrast is stronger. And this makes it harder to chip away at it.

One thing that really took a hit during this time was my meditation. Since coming back from my retreat in mid-June, I had been very diligent with twice-daily 30 minute sessions, and it was doing wonders for me.

But with all the anxiety and racing thoughts, I found it very hard to sit. The funny thing is, the times we can most benefit from meditation are the ones when we are least likely to want to do it. I didn’t totally stop, but I often shortened my sessions, skipped one, and even skipped it altogether some days.

It pulled at me a bit, but I didn’t beat myself up too much because I knew it was temporary. I knew that no matter what ended up happening with my mom, I would eventually regroup. I had faced a similar situation with my dad and I got through it, and I know I would get through it again.

There were other things during this time that I pulled back from. I didn’t work as hard to try and shift my energy…I just let it be and I usually started to feel a bit better naturally without any sort of ‘exercise’ or focusing. I didn’t chide myself for not trying to actively ‘fix’ the situation. I didn’t hesitate to sleep when I felt like it. If I just felt like watching TV, I did it, without feeling like I was wasting time or being ‘unproductive.’

And most importantly, I realized that this situation, and how I was reacting to it, wasn’t necessarily going to negatively impact other aspects of my life,and cause other bad things to happen to me,or somehow slow down the arrival of things I want to attract into my life.

In fact, this could have been very helpful in aligning me with these things since being consumed with this situation meant I wasn’t thinking much at all about anything else, and not thinking about something means you are not offering up any sort of resistance in the form of noticing its absence, wondering ‘how’ it’s going to come, or giving energy to beliefs that are not in harmony with allowing it into your life. Remember that ‘big’ you knows exactly what you want, and is flowing energy towards it at all times.

I will actually share a manifestation that is a great example of how good things can still come in even in these moments. The day of my mom’s surgery I was particularly anxious because we would find out if she had cancer or not. I had checked my email in the waiting room of the surgery area and saw a Paypal payment.

Someone had purchased a coaching package just like that. No emails, no consultation, no nothing. Usually someone has at least a couple of questions for me. It turns out this woman had just found my blog that very same day, resonated with the content and decided she wanted to work with me. That is pretty sweet, and I have no doubt she’ll be an awesome client.

Our vibration ,and what is happening behind the scenes, is kind of a complex thing when you think about it. And it would behoove us not to become too obsessed with our low moments–even when they last a bit longer than we would like,and especially when they result from these types of situations, that are just naturally going to bother us a hell of a lot, at least initially.

You’ve Been Given an Opportunity for Big Time Clearing

It is easy to think in these moments you must have done something ‘wrong’ to have had this thing happen to you. Or in my case, to have such a strong reaction to something that didn’t happen to you, but affects you personally, in a big way.

But you didn’t do anything wrong. You have just been focusing in a way that isn’t serving you (you may not have always been aware this is how you were focusing) and there have been many manifestations that have mirrored this less than ideal focus back to you.

But you didn’t address it then,at least not in a way that really prompted any real release. And when this happens, the manifestations tend to get bigger, or the reactions to the situations get more intense, even if the actual manifestations aren’t that ‘nasty.’

There were a few things that were triggered by what happened with my mom that had been triggered a lot recently with other situations. I was aware but really didn’t deal with it like I should have, and like I said, the energy grew and became more intense.

I wasn’t actively avoiding dealing with the feelings, I just didn’t pay as much attention to them as I should have. My housesitting job in Bali brought up a lot of fear in me.

The dogs would run off while we would take them for our daily walks, and I would sometimes fear something would happen to them.

There were lots of snakes in the area, and I feared the cats would get bitten by one. They sometimes went off the property and I feared they would get hit by a car or someone would hurt them in some way.

Apparently stealing animals, and then selling them to pet stores, was a thing that happens frequently. Early in the sit, one of the cats never came back ,and the owner suspects that was his fate. It made me fearful it would happen to one of the other cats, and whenever they didn’t come home in the evening at a certain time, I worried something happened to them, and usually didn’t feel better until they had all been accounted for. None of these things came to pass.

The fear had many facets to it…fear of loss, fear of not being able to control things, fear of bad shit just happening. These situations don’t sound like anything big, but they were mirroring back something very big to me. That is why it is so important not to judge anything that is happening or to dismiss things for seeming ‘small,’ ‘stupid, or whatever.

Because I had not really dealt with the fear and examined it, I had that extreme reaction to the situation with my mother. A few pieces of information led me to conclude the most fearful scenario as likely being true without having had any sort of confirmation. That fear I had been feeling was magnified many times over by a situation that was much more ‘serious’ than worrying about cats being stolen or dogs running away.

Now one might say this reaction is normal, and to some degree it may be. But, there are plenty of people that wouldn’t have had such a reaction. They would not have researched on the internet, further fueling the fear. They would have not drawn any conclusions, and they would have waited until more information had come to light. The extreme fear would not have been present.

It is important to remember the messages contained in our manifestations are very personal. And there is always some meaning that is relevant, and valuable,to us in that moment. The message and meaning to me were very clear based on what had been transpiring up until that point. And I knew I could not dismiss what was happening simply because it seemed like a ‘typical’ reaction to such a situation.

I did a lot of clearing and I realized I carried a lot of fear. Now does this mean that I will never again attract a situation which will cause me fear, or if it does, it will turn out to be totally unfounded each and every time? That would be nice, but unlikely.

But this clearing will help me react differently to situations, and hopefully not go to a space of ‘fear’ immediately. I will remember these situations in which my fear was unfounded, and realize it may be this time as well,and I can remain calmer. And even if things don’t go ‘well’ I’ll deal with it…shit happens.

These manifestations are presenting you with an opportunity to really delve into something that is heavy in your energy, and release (at least somewhat) it.

‘Working’ with the Law of Attraction Isn’t About Creating a Perfect Life

Remember what I said before about us personal development folk—LOA enthusiasts in particular—having that craving for perfection? Intellectually of course, we know this isn’t possible. But what we FEEL is often very different from what we KNOW (or think we know is probably more accurate.)

That is why we still get jealous of people on Facebook, and compare ourselves to them, when we know we are seeing the highlight reel (I beg of you to spend less time on this site.)This is why we are still bothered by what other people think even though their criticism has nothing to do with us. The world of feeling is very different from the world of intellect.

And this is why we can get so bent out of shape when things happen that we don’t like, and we have manifestations that indicate we may still have some ‘issues.’ This is why there is a part of us that is hoping our work with the law of attraction, will aid us in controlling every aspect of our experience, and somehow prevent anything unwanted from ever happening again.

In theory I suppose this is possible. But I imagine that would entail having to uncover every little belief we hold that could possibly lead to something we have personally decided is unwanted. It would require you to analyze in great detail every unwanted manifestation.

It would probably take a hell of a lot of focus,and it would make more sense to pour all that energy into creating the things you really, really want.

Having a great life does not mean said life has to be completely ‘unblemished.’ Unwanted things will probably still happen. But, as you grow, and your vibration becomes more stable, certain things that may have bothered you in the past, won’t bother you as much anymore, or at all.

Now that you know you can create what you want through your focus, you will see these unwanted manifestations for the messengers they are, regroup, and make the necessary changes, that will move you towards what you would prefer to be experiencing.

The unwanted is usually what will bring to light the things we still need to shift to get to where we want to be, and are very valuable. In that sense, they really aren’t so ‘bad’ are they?

This whole desire for perfection really came to light for me when my father was diagnosed with cancer, in particular. I had just come back from a trip, and had made this declaration, I was going to create this great new life moving forward. It was going to be ‘perfect.’ Having a father dying of cancer, and losing one of the most important people in my life, certainly couldn’t make for a ‘perfect’ life now could it?

I felt like this would forever mar my happiness, like some sort of black mark. And while I miss my father everyday, and wish he was still here, I can say that I am a pretty happy person, and feel like I have a great life. His death was a major catalyst for positive change. Does this mean I am somehow happy this happened? Of course not.

This can really be a big issue for us because our resistance to the unwanted can be quite high, and it just intensifies everything, making it much more challenging to move past it.

Don’t make perfection the goal. This is a reminder we all need often. Don’t just dismiss something like this, saying you ‘know’ it.’ Let it seep in.

I hope you enjoyed the post….

Your Turn…

What did you think of the post? Anything resonate in particular? You have any tips for when your vibe gets shot to hell? Have you ever experienced anything like this?

Also, I have a new LOA post on Huffington Post on tips to act like you have what you want when you don’t. Be sure to check it out

 If you want to learn more about law of attraction, you can also find my Making Sense of the Law of Attraction series on Amazon. If you are a Kindle Unlimited member, they are free…sweet. And if you aren’t, no worries..they are super-cheap!