I wanted to ask about recognizing the “right” opportunity when there are an abundance of options. I have gotten to a place, especially with money and relationships, where I recognize that I don’t need to “cling” to any one thing, that there is an abundance of everything and that I don’t need to be desperate. Since making that shift, I’ve noticed that I’m getting tons of job offers etc. these days.
But this is creating another dilemma because now I’m almost hesitant to commit or make decisions. Or, once I do make a decision (to take this job or that), I worry a bit that I’m making a premature choice and that something better could come along (especially when these offers are convenient but maybe not ideal). I know that you say that there is no action we can take that is “wrong,” but I’m curious how we can tell if an opportunity is really right or not. Especially when there is so much abundance, sometimes it can feel overwhelming! Should I just go with whatever *feels* best in the moment?
So like many questions people ask to make sure we are doing this whole law of attraction thing ‘right’, this one can’t really be answered in the way our mind wants it answered. While I would love to give you some definitive guide to help you make these sorts of decisions, I am not capable of providing such a thing.
But I think you will find these insights helpful, and hopefully it can ease some of that lovely anxiety that tends to surface on this journey.
Very Few Things are Permanent
I know that we just want to get all the stuff we want as soon as possible, figure out what we want to do the rest of our lives, find the person we will marry right this second, manifest all the money we will ever need all at once, and just have everything be perfect and settled.
Sure we still want to keep creating to some degree, but by and large, we want the ‘big’ stuff all figured out once and for all. This feeling may be very obvious to some, while for others, this desire is not so conscious.
We may tire of the ‘journey’ and just want to be ‘done.’ I totally get that. But you are never really ‘done’ even if you seemed to have settled into a path you don’t see yourself straying from too much–you are already in your dream job, already have the great relationship,etc…
This desire to be ‘done’ can create a lot of pressure to make sure we are making the ‘right’ decisions, that we are choosing the ‘best’ option. We don’t want to ‘waste’ time on the ‘wrong’ opportunities, experiences or people.
We want to make sure we get exactly what we want, and we don’t mess it up somehow. We don’t want to miss the boat. We don’t want any unnecessary delays.
This fear stems from a couple of premises that aren’t exactly solid.
First, to have this fear means there is a belief there is only one ‘right’ path for you, one particular combination of decisions you best get right lest you will get off the path and never get what you want.
If you choose ‘wrong’ now, you’re stuck where you are; this ‘wrong’ decision closed off all sorts of possibilities that may be really good, and you’re shit out of luck.
There is something you are ‘supposed’ to be doing, you have some pre-defined purpose you are tasked with finding and carrying out in a very specific way.
I think our ‘purpose’ is to just be us, and make that journey as pleasant as possible by nurturing our connection to spirit, doing what makes us happy in our personal and professional lives, and prioritizing our well-being.
Second, at the root of this fear is the belief it is all up to you to make everything happen, and how your life turns out hinges solely on your decisions and actions, without accounting for your energy in any way, your ability to create and choose your predominant feelings and focus.
But we know our reality is truly created by way of our inner world, and not solely based on our actions. You’ll always be able to get what you want, when you figure out what it is you truly want–the feelings. Cultivate them and you can’t help but attract things that match those energies.
Very few decisions in life are permanent, and like Kel mentioned, I like to remind people you can’t really make a ‘wrong’ decision. No matter what decision you make, it will serve you somehow, whether to alert you to a belief not serving you, give you further clarity on what you like and don’t like, or some sort of validation of your path, your beliefs,etc…
I think intellectually we may understand this impermanence, and ability to shift gears, and go in new directions, but how we are feeling is very different.
Whatever you are drawn to in the moment is a match to something in your energy, in your vibration, and you will benefit somehow, so long as you are willing to adopt this sort of perspective.
So if you take a job and it turns out you don’t like it, you didn’t make the ‘wrong’ decision in choosing it. If you were feeling torn between two guys, and the relationship didn’t work out with the person you chose, again, you didn’t make a ‘wrong’ decision in choosing that person.
You can always quit the job you don’t like and find a new one. You can always move back home if the new city isn’t what you thought it would be. You can always break up with the person if things aren’t working out.
The real root of this sort of issue boils down to our good old-fashioned desire to control everything, and make sure things go just as our mind envisions them, with minimal ‘drama.’ And by ‘drama’ I mean basically anything that happens that our mind initially reacts to as ‘negative.’
I have tried to do my best to get into the flow, see how life unfolds before me, see what my manifestations are inviting me to explore more deeply, and follow my feelings and intuition more closely, rather than try to ‘plan’ everything out.
I figure as long as I am doing the things I do because they bring me joy in some way, things will work out just fine. As I follow that joy wherever it leads, I will always be moving in the ‘right’ direction.
It’s All about the Feeling
Kel actually answered her own question right at the end. We create so much confusion for ourselves due to our tendency to ‘think’ our way through everything. We have to weigh the pros and cons. We have to think what makes the most sense. We have to think ‘logically.’ We have to be ‘realistic.’
Don’t get me wrong–this mode of operating serves us quite well in many instances. Not so much in the world of conscious creation however. This is where our feelings take front and center; this is where our intuition and inner ‘knowing’ really get to shine.
When we really begin to understand (like truly get it, not just understand intellectually) the contents of our inner world is shaping our reality–thoughts, feelings and beliefs–we see the immense value in following our feelings, in letting them be the primary guiding force in our life. To do otherwise makes no sense really.
Our feelings alert us to the paths and decisions that will be of most benefit to us at this moment in our journey. They lead us to the next step–which is all we can ever see anyway. Can’t stress that enough.
All we want at the end of the day is to feel a certain way, and when we identify more closely the specific feelings we want more of in our life, that we value most highly, it makes sense to choose the job, person, experience, or whatever else, that will allow us to feel those feelings.
And then we create that energy more strongly in our life, and as that energy builds and becomes more dominant, we attract more things that mirror that energy back to us. It’s such a beautiful, simple system, and we complicate the fuck out of it, but I digress.
We might keep traveling along a similar path, we might keep that same job, we might stay in that same relationship, or we may shift gears and go in another direction.
When we become more comfortable basing our decisions on how we feel, all the confusion that comes with trying to ‘figure’ things out in ‘thinking’ mode falls away. This is a totally different mode of operating, a much easier way of operating.
It might not feel that way at first, and this is certainly a process. You might not always go with what feels best–too much other stuff to work through first, and that is just part of the journey sometimes. We often need to learn certain lessons personally, to really feel that frustration, before we are willing to release the more complicated, painful way of doing things.
The example of choosing a job that is not ideal but convenient is a perfect example of how fears, doubts, limiting beliefs, logical thinking and the like tend to drive our decisions, and alert us to the reality we are not quite aligned with the best representations of our manifestations, that we are not quite in a space to follow our feelings, and trust the guidance and insights they are providing.
The only reason we would take a job we don’t really want is because we think the type of job we really want isn’t possible, it is a type of job we ‘should’ want because it looks good on paper, or we are being driven by some sort of fear, such as running out of money.
When we start to break down what is really going on behind our inability to choose, difficulty figuring out our path and what have you, we see all this ‘stuff’ at the root of it–the fears, the limited thinking, the tendency to think things through ‘logically,’ which is almost always going to be in conflict with ‘feeling things through.’
Following the feelings doesn’t require us to take all the things into account we normally do when ‘thinking’ and decisions that seem difficult actually aren’t difficult at all. It seems like a no-brainer to turn down a job you really aren’t feeling drawn towards, especially in Kel’s instance, where she has seen a lot of ‘evidence’ of her shifting energy in the form of increased opportunities.
The Importance of Examination and Reflection
There is only so much external guidance can do for us. You can educate yourself more about certain topics; you can more closely study the work of certain teachers that really resonate.
You expose yourself to perspectives that might not have occurred to you, and they can be very helpful. These things are obviously a cornerstone of our personal development journey.
But there are just certain questions that can’t be answered in the way our mind wants them answered. There is no set way to do things. There is no concrete list of criteria to examine decisions that can help you know without a doubt, which is the ‘right’ one to make, which one is the ‘best.’
It would be great if such answers and guidelines were available. It would be great if manifestations held the same meaning across the board for everyone, and there was some flow chart we could consult.
Again, intellectually we understand this, but on a different level, we are seeking such definitive information because naturally we are confused, afraid we will make the wrong choices, and then God forbid, we aren’t going to get what we want.
This is where the self-reflection and deeper examination comes in. This is where a real willingness to follow your inner guidance, to buy into the idea your feelings are a guidance system of sorts, comes in.
Only we can truly know what is happening in our energy, and what the things we manifest may be mirroring back to us. Only we can know what path or decision may be of most benefit to us at this time.
When we are willing to do this deeper examination that I know most of us want to avoid like the plague, it becomes clearer why certain things manifested, and their purpose. And with this clarity, making decisions becomes a lot easier. It gets easier to see what decision may be the best in this moment.
Going back to the job example, there are lots of reasons one could manifest opportunities that may seem okay on paper, but are not ideal in one way or another. This self-examination, again, can give you a better sense of why you personally manifested it.
Maybe it was to help you further clarify your ideal job. There are some elements you like but some that still don’t quite fit, and now you can fine-tune things.
Maybe it was an opportunity to strengthen energies and perspectives that are going to serve you better, to act from a space of trust. You want a job, but you know you don’t want that job, and you are no longer going to do things you don’t want to do; you know you can manifest a better job, and you are willing to walk away from what you know isn’t right for you.
Maybe this decision is the perfect opportunity to explore a particular fear or belief more deeply that isn’t serving you, such as a fear around money or a belief in the necessity of ‘compromise.’
Again, only you can know.
This is why getting to know ourselves better is such a crucial component of this ‘work.’ The better you know yourself, the more you can consciously shape a life that is a good reflection of your joys, your passions, your values.
The better you know yourself, the easier it is to see whether certain people, opportunities, experiences and the like are right for you or not. The easier it is to walk away from things you just know aren’t best for you in your heart, no matter how much it makes sense to pursue something from a logical perspective, how much it seems you ‘should’ want this thing from a logical perspective.
The better you know yourself, the better you know what you are truly after in life, what would truly make you happy. And that knowledge will allow you to align more consistently with manifestations that are a great reflection of these deeper wants. It will make it easier to make certain changes in your life, to release what is holding you back or not serving you.
I have made a lot of unconventional choices in my life, and went against the grain in many ways. It was almost never comfortable, and I faced lots of challenges.
But because I had given some thought to what I really wanted out of life, had a strong sense of who I was and what I wanted, I was able to keep going in spite this discomfort. Other people not agreeing or understanding didn’t have as strong an impact because I knew I was doing what was right for me, and their thoughts about my choices literally meant nothing.
It helped me make choices much more easily because I tuned into my feelings and nothing more. I only had one factor to take into consideration–how I felt about it. All the stuff my mind deemed ‘necessary’ for consideration really wasn’t.
There are some questions only we have the answers to. Those answers are in there, and this self-reflection and examination will give us access to that wisdom.
What did you think? Anything resonate in particular? How do you assess decisions and figure out what may be best for you? Looking forward to your comments as always.