Hi Kelli. Ever since finding out about the Law of Attraction I find myself micromanaging my feelings. I’m not sure how to get into the groove of moving foreward when ever negative feeling I have takes up all my mental energy. Sometimes I even wonder if I’m making up or creating my negative feelings. I could use some help on this! Thanks!
The Feelings Really Aren’t the Problem
Unless you are some enlightened spiritual master, you will probably experience a whole range of feelings. Sorry to burst your bubble. Intellectually we totally understand this, but on a deeper level, all of us growth- oriented people are hoping that maybe all this ‘work’ will lead to being happy all the time and never feeling badly ever again.
Silly when we say it out loud but that’s exactly what’s going on there. One of the most profound discoveries you make on this sort of journey is seeing the immense gap between what we understand, and accept intellectually, and what we really feel and believe.
Unless you decide to totally withdraw from worldly life, you will probably want certain things, and feel some degree of attachment to getting them, some degree of dissatisfaction that you don’t have them. This will continue to be the case no matter how much you intellectually understand your outside circumstances have very little to do with how you feel and making you happy.
You will get sucked into the variety of illusions humans think are real, and the delusions of your mind.
We are here having this experience and if we were perfect right out the gate, there wouldn’t be much of a journey. There would be nothing motivating us to undertake it.
So if all this emotional ‘stuff’ is par for the course, if the goal isn’t to get rid of it all, we start to see the feelings themselves aren’t the real problem.
To be clear here though, I want to say a couple of things. First, I am not suggesting you can never really feel better, or overcome certain emotional issues, and the best you can do is learn to ‘deal’ with the shit and not be bothered as much by it. You can make amazing strides. You can completely change how you respond to certain things in your life. But overall you will probably still have negative feelings and reactions to things–again, sounds obvious but there is a part of us that is hoping this doesn’t have to be the case.
Second, acknowledging this reality is not an excuse to not even bother trying to do the work; it’s not license to blame your messed up mind for your problems and conclude it is just too hard to change. You have to make the effort to shift your overall frame of mind and dominant emotional state; you have to work on transforming that ‘base’ energy into one that is of a more ‘positive’ nature than a ‘negative’ one.
If what is happening inside is determining what is happening outside, we see we really don’t have a choice IF we want things to change.
But back to the point at hand–if the feelings aren’t the real problem then what is? That would be our reaction to them, our resistance. We have almost zero tolerance for any sort of emotional discomfort and we see our negative feelings as some sort of enemy getting in the way of our happiness.
This resistance to them, this intolerance, makes us want to push them away as quickly as possible. And all this resistance just strengthens the energy, it makes the feelings more powerful. And the more powerful they feel, the more powerless we feel to do anything about it.
When we learn to observe these feelings without judgment or resistance, the feelings themselves aren’t so bad. We don’t give that energy any extra boost, and if the energy of the feelings weaken, their impact on our reality follows suit.
So if you feel pressure to micromanage your feelings because you think you can’t possibly get what you want unless you feel happy all the time, unless you stop every negative emotion dead in its tracks, this isn’t true.
Which brings me to the next aspect of the issue, which is understanding….
Where the Compulsion Comes From
In order to address an issue or tendency it is tremendously helpful to see why we do the things we do, why we feel we must do X, Y or Z. Trying to simply change our habits, or do things differently ,without getting at this root usually won’t get us any lasting results, if any at all. It’s like trying to stop overeating, or abusing drugs, simply by mustering up the willpower not to do these things without ever considering why we did them in the first place.
So why in the world would anyone interested in conscious creation feel a compulsion to micromanage their feelings, especially the negative ones? Because once you learn words like ‘vibration’ and ‘energy’ are just essentially fancy words for ‘feelings’ you start freaking out that unless you get happy all the time, unless you get rid of all these feelings, you’ll never get your stuff.
And this does not sit well with the mind to say the least–if it believes your happiness, the healing of your emotional pain, hinges on some outside change, getting something you currently don’t have, the idea of not getting these things sends it into a tailspin.
We feel badly without X, and getting it will make us feel better, or so says the mind. There are certain feelings we find very desirable that we believe we could never possibly experience unless this manifestation comes through. Is it any wonder we struggle with the idea of detachment? That people quickly become obsessed with ‘managing their vibe’ is no surprise in the least.
The ‘caring’ about the stuff is always coming from a ‘negative’ space in that we are looking to minimize some sort of pain. We are not trying to enhance or maximize well-being, we are not simply trying to get the most out of the human experience or have fun with the creation process.
We are desperately trying to attract things we don’t have, operating under one of the mind’s most dangerous delusions–that anything outside of us can make us truly happy, can take away the bad feelings we have now, and give us the good ones currently absent from our emotional landscape.
If we muster up a real, genuine willingness to accept the premise that the weight loss, boyfriend, new job or more money isn’t the answer to taking these feelings away, we won’t feel so much pressure to be ‘happy’ all the time, thinking that is the only way to get what we want.
The bad feelings naturally start fading, and you won’t have to ‘micromanage’ them as much, because there will be less of them to be managed; they will be less intense so they won’t bother you as much. You see what your life looks like now isn’t really responsible for these feelings, and while you can still want to change certain elements of your experience, this immense pressure to do so lightens.
There is no huge rush anymore. You are no longer operating from pain-minimizing mode. You transform white-hot burning needs into mere preferences–the latter is much easier to align with– much, much easier.
If you go into this process simply trying to manifest stuff to make bad feelings go away, you are setting yourself up for a world of hurt. If you prioritize attracting what you don’t have over making the inner transformations that naturally align you with different external circumstances, you will slow things down a whole bunch, you will heap a lot of unnecessary suffering on yourself.
It may take a bit to really do it ‘right’ and your mind will fight you. But always be conscious of trying to move in this direction. For most of us, part of the process is insisting on doing things this way until we gather enough evidence it’s not really the best way, and we are sick of all the pain it is causing us. We see it’s not actually helping us get anywhere so we’re finally willing to try the other way. Just is what it is I suppose.
Awareness vs. Obsessing
If our inner world is directly responsible for what our outer one looks like, we see the importance of going within and having some sense of what’s happening there. If our beliefs, focus and feelings shape our reality, is is important to know what we believe, what we feel predominantly, how we tend to focus.
Again, sounds super obvious but we really gloss over this key part of the process, and remain very externally focused, trying myriad tools and techniques to draw the things we don’t have to us.
We jump right to that wrongly thinking they have some sort of power in and of themselves to make things happen for us. They don’t, and then we are left scratching our heads wondering why nothing has changed. We conclude the law of attraction isn’t ‘working.’
Meanwhile, very little has transformed internally, which means very little can transform externally. We forget the law of attraction is a spiritual law that has always been operating in our life, not some new ‘tool’ on the personal development scene to manipulate reality.
Awareness is our most powerful tool since the core of energetic transformation, and changing our belief system really comes down to weighing what you feel and believe now that is making you miserable vs. these new perspectives that feel a hell of a lot better, and choosing in favor of the latter.
You may have no ‘proof’ of these ideas in your own life, but you trust your intuitive resonance with them is alerting you to truth. You muster up a bit of trust and faith, without which, work like this becomes essentially impossible. Again you consciously choose in favor of these ideas, which in turn, means you are consciously rejecting the old programming.
But this ‘awareness’ can, and often does for many, turn into obsessing. And I already noted above where this obsession comes from–the deep attachment to our desires and the belief the negative feelings are keeping them from us.
If you realize the lack of the ‘thing’ isn’t the problem, which means getting it cannot possibly be the ‘solution,’ you won’t move into ‘obsessing’ territory. You can remain firmly entrenched in mere ‘awareness.’
You don’t have to monitor your feelings every second. You just have to be aware of the ‘broad strokes’ if you will, for the most part.
You just need to be aware of how you are generally feeling about the areas of your life you are hoping to change in some way. You have to be aware of how much you are still attributing your negative feelings to your circumstances.
You have to be aware of how you respond to situations that are related–the unmet expectations, something not happening that was supposed to, a potential channel for the manifestation falling through,etc…
When you have a strong emotional response to something, that is usually a sign to explore a bit more deeply. Certain manifestations will pull at you intuitively, and you will find some sort of insight in examining how it made you feel, and what you think it may be mirroring back to you.
Intuitively you will know exactly how to navigate this. You will know when to shake something off and when to explore it more deeply. You will know when to just let negative feelings ride and when you should engage with them consciously.
Again, when you realize getting the ‘stuff’ isn’t the linchpin to your happiness, it gets easier to do all this. You are no longer being driven by this constant fear and anxiety of not getting what you want, the deep attachment. You don’t feel the need to micromanage your feelings.
The Real Goal
All you want is to be happy. Your mind erroneously thinks getting certain things are necessary for that to happen. This is not true. You will fare much better with conscious creation if you make feeling better the goal, if you focus more on doing things that make you feel better overall.
You can still do your visualizing, affirming and what not. But these tools will serve their purpose much better when you feel better overall, when you are not doing them from a space of feeling desperate for the thing, and feeling terrible about your life now.
General vibe management (which is a very personal thing and includes anything that makes you feel good) helps you feel better now, and the better you feel now, the more clearly you can see the manifestation isn’t the answer. And this whole journey will no longer be fueled by this deep need to rid yourself of pain. You will experience that ‘detachment’ you hear so much about but may seem so elusive in your own life.
When you feel better already, when you aren’t looking to these manifestations to heal pain, and give you all these good feelings, you will actually enjoy them a lot more. You can have fun with your ‘powers.’
Really make a conscious effort to make feeling better the goal, the end in itself, not a means to an end. If the stuff can’t truly make us happy, we see how making its acquisition the ultimate goal, the driver for everything we do, is setting us up for trouble, and dissatisfaction, no matter what we manage to get our hands on.
Don’t be afraid to engage your negative feelings. They are just messengers. They aren’t getting in the way of your happiness, they are showing you the way to it.
What did you think of the post? Anything resonate in particular? How do you engage with your negative feelings? How comfortable do you feel engaging with them?
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