Law of Attraction Insights from 10 Days of Silence and Meditation Part Two

And here is part two of my meditation course insights. You can find part one here.

Be Grateful, Like For Real

Like I always say, we are drawn to a teaching like the law of attraction because we want specific things; we work on feeling good as a means to an end. Our intentions aren’t completely ‘pure.’ Our happiness and well-being really isn’t the goal if we’re really honest.

It just is what it is. It’s not a bad thing. It’s understandable to want the things we want.

And one of the ‘tools’ we use to raise our vibration is gratitude. If like attracts like, then feeling appreciation for things we have in our life now will lead us to attract more things to appreciate.

So we work on feeling grateful for what we have now so we can get more. But the problem is this gratitude is really not genuine.

We are giving lip service to the ‘good’ in our life because we think that is what we have to do to manifest what we want. We may feel a spark of gratitude in the moment we are rattling off our list, but as for genuinely cultivating this feeling, we are falling very, very short.

Our mind makes a really good case as to why we get to focus on what’s missing and what’s wrong. Who cares about what’s right. That’s neither here nor there. It doesn’t matter.

We have this weird fear that feeling better now will cancel our ‘order.’

If we aren’t expressing our unhappiness about the lack in our life, then that lack will continue. But remember the Universe isn’t responding to what you want, it isn’t responding to your displeasure, it’s responding to your energy in a neutral, ‘disinterested’ way.

Our mind gets very scared when it thinks we are going to give up on what we want. And here’s the thing. By cultivating more gratitude and having a more positive outlook on your life, is it possible you may stop wanting certain things, stop pursuing them?

It is very possible. But it won’t be problem because you won’t feel upset about not having something you don’t want in the first place.

Most of us are ungrateful tools. We’re not bad people. I don’t think we really mean to be this way. But we just get so caught up in what is missing, and feel totally justified in putting all our attention there. And oh the suffering that ensues.

Perspective is always a factor in developing gratitude and I wanted to discuss this a bit more.  

When trying to develop gratitude, we have a tendency to compare our situations to those who are dealing with challenges we will never have to deal with, that we can’t even fathom as being real. And we can’t get any meaningful perspective on our own situation; we won’t be able to develop any real sense of gratitude for the good things in our life.

There may be a spark of gratitude when you compare your life to a refugee fleeing her war-torn country, the proverbial ‘starving children in Africa, or the homeless person sleeping on a sidewalk on a freezing cold evening, but it will be fleeting.

But when we compare our situations with people who are facing challenges that we could possibly face too, then we can really develop some genuine gratitude.

You may be in the pits now because you don’t have a boyfriend, but when you think about your neighbor who just got laid off and her husband just got diagnosed with cancer, your situation doesn’t seem so bad. You may feel truly grateful for your gainful employment.

This isn’t to say you should constantly be thinking about the challenges of people you know to give yourself a boost, or that this is the only way you can develop a true sense of gratitude, but it can be helpful to be aware of what other people around you are going through for some real perspective.

Work on feeling grateful for the good in your life for real, not just as some exercise to get what you want. It will be so powerful energetically, and you’ll start feeling so much better, which is all you want anyway.

I know you probably want to punch me, and others who remind you constantly it is all about the feelings, square in the face, but it’s true. Sorry not sorry, as the kids say. 

Transmuting Fear

I am not immune from fear by any means. I worry about lots of things. Like any other human, I have tens of thousands of thoughts a day and some of them are bound to be fearful.

At my meditation course, all I could do was think. Lots of time with just me and my mind. Fun times, fun times.

Some crazy shit can pop in there in this sort of circumstance, let me tell you. I spent a whole day imagining I was dating Bradley Cooper. I think he is super-sexy but I don’t have some huge crush on him or anything; I have never wanted to date someone famous. So why this popped into my head is beyond me.

I joked with Ryan this was a way to deal with my missing him–constructing some alternate reality where he never existed.

But anyway…

Certain fearful thoughts were more dominant than usual; I spent more time thinking about these things than I normally would have. After all, nothing to distract me.

After my father died several years back, I started thinking more about other people in my life dying.  Particularly dying unexpectedly–happens every day. Car crashes, freak accidents, etc…

He didn’t die unexpectedly, but I think the shock of his getting diagnosed with late-stage cancer when he seemed fine had that similar feel of life crumbling down around you out of nowhere; and this type of thought is a perfect manifestation of that energy.

That I don’t have a big family in particular added to this distress. This fear is particularly prevalent with my husband.

This isn’t something that is all-consuming but I did feel I thought about it enough that I needed to examine it.

One of the things I thought a lot about was how our fear in particular can be a catalyst for improving our lives, making them more meaningful, more full.

My fear of losing people close to me could be turned into something positive. I can start appreciating my loved ones more, like truly appreciating them. This fear can change how I relate to them, it might help make for smoother relations in terms of not getting mad so easily, accepting them more for who they are,etc…

The trick is we don’t want to fear to be that top-of-mind driver for these positive changes in our perspectives and behaviors. We can recognize its influence, but by and large, we can act from a positive space.

When thinking about the fears in your own life, how can you transmute that into something positive? How can it motivate you?

Nothing Will Be Left Out of the Package

I think one of the reasons we get so fixated on specific representations of the energy we crave in our lives–cold, hard cash, a romantic relationship,etc…–is because we deeply fear if we don’t, the energy will show up in some other way that isn’t as ‘good.’

Our abundance may only show up in our health and relationships, but we will still stay broke. Our self-love and desire for connection will show up in improved relationships with our family, new friends, but not a husband.

Based on how our mind works, this fear makes total sense and I get why we feel this way. But when we have a better understanding of reality being created by the way of energy, it really doesn’t make any sense.

I think there is something to be said for setting intentions for the ‘broader’ specifics, like a new job, a relationship or money, and those intentions coming to fruition in some form.

There would be no reason anything specific would be left out of the happiness ‘package.’ If you are out in the world interacting with other humans, why wouldn’t one of those people end up being the one you marry? If you tap into the abundance that is your true nature, why would money be excluded from the ways in which it shows up externally?

I have always done my best to do this manifesting ‘work’ from a space of making happiness, health and well-being the ultimate goal, the ultimate manifestation. And from this space, I see what I feel inspired to do to lend itself to this end result, whether in my personal or professional life.

And this of course led to wanting specific things, to channeling the energy in specific ways. But the vibe behind it all was very different. I was pursuing these things largely for the joy of it, because it felt aligned with the energy I was already cultivating. I wasn’t looking to manifest these things as a solution to a problem, to make bad feelings go away,etc…

It doesn’t mean giving up on any of the particular things you want now. Let’s not kid ourselves here…we probably won’t ever be able to do that fully. We may always feel a bit attached to certain results. But you would be surprised at how much this sort of energy can dissipate, even when still feeling this way.

When I was doing all this ‘work’ with the intent of manifesting X, Y or Z specifically, it didn’t feel very good to me. It is hard to truly feel better in the moment when we are always focused on trying to bring something into our lives that is missing now.

And even when I got these things, I didn’t feel the happiness and sense of ‘completeness’ I thought I would. I knew I needed to tweak my approach.

Make Time for Silence

One of the reasons meditation is so challenging for people is we are very unaccustomed to being alone with our thoughts in silence with nothing distracting us. In day to day life, it is very easy to avoid them. We are working, conversing, cleaning, cooking, driving, watching TV, putzing around on our phones, breaking up fights between our kids.

This silence is invaluable, and it is crucial to make time for it. If meditation is not your thing, it’s fine. You can just sit or lay quietly somewhere.

One of the reasons we struggle with changing our energy is we really aren’t fully examining what is there now, what led to the unwanted in our life–the fears, the self-sabotage, the conflicting energies that surround our desired manifestations, the fear of criticism,etc…

We try so hard to be ‘positive’ and focus on what we want, but this energy often doesn’t stand a chance because the momentum of our ‘old’ energy is still alive and well. Remember the law of attraction is not a ‘tool’ to change your reality, it is a Universal law that has always been operating in your life.

You have always been creating your reality, you just weren’t conscious and deliberate about it. This knowledge now allows you to operate this way.

Time in silence will allow you to see these issues more clearly; you will get a much better understanding of what may be standing in your way, why your life is the way it is.

And with this knowledge you will have a better sense of what needs to change; you will be in a much better position to change your vibration in a real, genuine, lasting way.

This time in silence will give you clarity about what you really want to do, be and have. This silence will give you an opportunity to solidify beneficial energies without interference, and this will lead to them taking root more quickly.

It will help you live more consciously and get off auto-pilot, which for most of us, consists of programming that is none too helpful.

No matter how busy you are, I imagine you have at least a few spare minutes in your day, and if you literally don’t, you need to seriously examine your life and make some changes.

Getting more comfortable with lack of stimulation, with being with your thoughts, is invaluable for this ‘work.’ We can’t transform what we keep running away from, what we will do anything to avoid.

The more reluctant you are to do this, the more you absolutely must do it.

Shit or Get Off the Pot

It is our energy that creates, not action, since action is a manifestation of energy. Our actions are dictated by our beliefs, our feelings, our perspectives, our thoughts. Our energy will determine the results of our actions.

But it is important to distinguish between the type of action we take to force results, and the type of action that helps bring something into being, the type of action we need to open up a certain path, to get the ball rolling.

The latter type of action is what makes the world go round–without it, nothing would exist. No amount of energetic work can serve as a substitute. We can certainly work on our energy before taking these actions to make things go more smoothly, but at some point we’ll need to do something.

Working on your energy won’t get you registered for those night classes, get blog posts written or your business started.

If action is a manifestation of energy, sometimes taking action is the best, most direct way to get a problem resolved or to get things moving in the right direction. It demonstrates faith; it helps free us from elements that are getting in the way of our transformation; it frees us from various types of resistance; it will help us feel better; it will help us feel like we are going to get what we want.

And I know you probably thinking ‘how will I know this?’ Unfortunately, there is no flow chart to consult. Intuitively you will know when this is the case, and you have to be willing to make a move. And keep in mind, no matter what you do, you can’t make a mistake. Whatever manifests is perfect for the moment, and you’ll be fine.

You might need to actively end a friendship instead of waiting for it to naturally run its course.

You might need to quit your job instead of waiting for a new one to manifest while you are still there.

You might need to stand up for yourself rather than waiting to manifest a new version of your family member that treats you completely differently.

There is a difference between optimizing your vibration, tapping into the assistance the Universe is able to provide, and attracting great things due to your great energy, and totally withdrawing from participation in your own life, hoping the U or God or whatever, comes along and takes care of everything.

Again, intuitively, you will know when you are engaging in the latter, and if so, what can you do to change that?

If you are not willing to do these things, then you should work on becoming okay with your life as it is now because it’s not going to change very much.

The Power of Questions

One of the things that trips us up in this whole manifesting journey is thinking it is much harder than it is to change our energy, habits and belief system.

Sure the path is challenging because we are bringing a lot of ‘stuff’ to the table in the form of limiting beliefs, poor self-image, unresolved issues, suppressed emotion, self-sabotage and what have you.

But the ‘work’ itself is not inherently hard. Some of the most powerful strategies are so incredibly simple, and our mind tends to dismiss ‘simple’ thinking it can’t be that easy. I think there is a part of us that believes the journey should be hard because we only deserve our ‘stuff’ and our happiness is we ‘earn’ it.

One of these simple, powerful strategies is questions. Asking questions can shift our energy in the moment; it can activate energy; it can guide us to more beneficial behavior and choices. It can open us up to another perspective on a situation that will serve us much, much better.

One great question to ask yourself in various situations is “What would my ideal self do?” Your ideal self being the one who acts from confidence, from love, from self-respect, from faith, from alignment, from lack of fear.

Now being an imperfect human, you may not always act in accordance with ‘ideal’ you, but at the very least, you will be cultivating awareness of your behavior, your beliefs,etc…and more conscious of how you would rather be. And this awareness is the first step to making change.

If you think something is going to be hard, you can ask yourself “What if it were easy?’’

If you think something is going to turn out badly, you can ask yourself “What if it turned out fine?”

If you think something is going to cause you a problem, you can ask yourself “What if this thing benefitted me?”

If you think something that feels badly, you can ask yourself “What if this thing I believe isn’t true?”

Simple, yet powerful. Give it a try.

Your Turn

What did you think? Anything resonate in particular? Anything you would add? Looking forward to your comments as always.

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