Are you currently in a space where you basically hate everything about your life? Nothing seems to be going right and you just want to throw in the towel on existing? Do you have a nasty stew of emotion brewing beneath the surface at all times—that lovely mix of anger, depression, anxiety, fear, resentment, and despair that comes with thinking that things are never going to change, and this is it? Are you engaging in all sorts of self-sabotage and self-destructive behavior?
This isn’t a pretty place to be, and it isn’t a place you have to stay. There is always a way out. There is always a solution. We weren’t put on this earth to be miserable. We were put here to be happy, and create everything we want. Yeah, there are challenges and sometimes things don’t go right. We each came to explore certain themes and learn certain lessons that may not always be so pleasant to our human minds . But, the overall gist is happiness.
Before you dive into the meat of the post, wanted to remind everyone of the free call I will be doing about law of attraction and money on Monday the 26 from 8 to 9 pm EST..you can find out more about it here.
Fully Admit You Hate Everything and Why You Hate It
Sure, you think everything sucks now, and you are fully aware you aren’t feeling so hot. You just want to punch the world, and you have no trouble admitting that. But, if you are like many people, you may not have fully acknowledged why you are so unhappy or the full extent of it.
In an effort to protect ourselves, and minimize our pain, we get really good at denying the true depth of our feelings, or examining too deeply why we are unhappy with our life. We do this for a lot of reasons, but one of the main ones is because of the mistaken belief that we really can’t do much to change, so best to suppress, rationalize and flat out lie to ourselves about how we feel, to convince ourselves we didn’t make the wrong choices, etc…We fear what may come up if we finally open up the floodgates.
If you really want to get out of this pit and start moving towards a happier, lighter place, you have to take this step. You really can’t make true, lasting change if you are not willing to be brutally honest with how you are feeling now, and what isn’t working for you. It is only from this space you can devise effective solutions, figure out what would truly make you happy, and move forward with a solid plan of action.
Are you having a hard time admitting how much you hate your job because you spent tens of thousands of dollars educating yourself for this very field? Is being a mom a lot freaking harder than you ever imagined, and you feel your identity disintegrating further and further, but you hold it all in because of shame and guilt over these feelings?Have you and your boyfriend been growing apart more each day, but the idea of breaking up terrifies you because you are convinced you will never find anyone else?
Let yourself really feel your feelings. Cry, scream, punch a pillow, whatever. Don’t suppress it anymore. This can be pretty intense and you might scare yourself a bit, but just let it rip. No one else has to know about it, it’s just you.
The moment you do this can be really uncomfortable because you are really just letting things loose. When we stop lying to ourselves, admit our fears and regrets, and all that good stuff, a lot may come up. But, the good news is, this is the worst of it.
You have brought up the gunk, and now you can begin clearing it out. You will be amazed at how much better you feel, even though everything in your life is still the same in that very moment. The resistance will be lowered, and from this space, you can really start making changes.
Think about What You Want without Censoring or Judging
Now comes step two..this is part can be really fun. You are going to actually think about what you want…seems simple enough but something a lot of us really don’t do all that much. We sure think a lot about what we don’t want, and while that offers some clues to what we do, this really doesn’t cut it as far as making real change in our lives and bringing these things into our experience. Energetically speaking, focusing on what we don’t want vs. what we do is worlds apart.
If you are like many people, you probably don’t think you can have most of the things you want for a variety of reasons. Silly rabbit. We can always have what we want. But to get the ball rolling, we first have to figure out exactly what that is, and believe it is possible for us, even if we can’t figure out at this very moment how it would all come together.
So, I want you to get out a piece of paper and a pen—don’t do this on your phone, computer or some other electronic device. There is great power in actually writing things down, so we are going to get a bit old school for a minute.
Take a moment to sit quietly and calm your mind. Think about what you would like your life to be like—like, if you could take a magic wand and just create it. That is the type of stuff I am talking about. I am not talking about creating a list based on what you think is ‘realistic’ or possible based on where you are currently.
Write down whatever comes to mind without censoring it, judging it or modifying it to make it more ‘feasible.’ If it pops in your mind, just write it down. Doesn’t matter how silly it seems, how small or how whatever..just get it down because it has significance for you.
There is a good chance a lot of stuff on this list seems like a stretch, or damn near impossible given your current state of affairs, and mindset. But, none of it is impossible. This exercise may seem like nothing more than writing stuff down on a piece of paper, but it is so much more powerful than that.
You have just placed an order with the Universe, a force that can arrange for our desires to be delivered to us in infinite ways, ways that our puny little brains cannot possibly conceive of. This exercise gave you clarity and something on which to focus your mind. By deliberately thinking about what you want, you have given yourself permission to actually go after it, and create it.
Many years ago, I did this same exercise. I was reading a book called the Passion Test, and it instructed you to write down a list of things you want ,narrow it down to the five things you wanted most, and write it out on an index card.
Below is a picture of this card, dated May 28,2009. It is important you know I wrote out this list when my life was rife with problems. I was barely making any money, had huge amounts of debt, experiencing boatloads of anxiety, feeling depressed, and grieving my father’s death. I was pretty miserable. Ryan was my only saving grace, and I am forever grateful for him to all the support he has given me in my darker times.When I wrote this list, there was nothing to suggest any of what I wanted was remotely possible, based on outside appearances.
But, what is happening now means squat in terms of what is possible moving forward. Everything happening now is a culmination of the beliefs, and image of yourself you are currently holding, and that can be changed. Once you start changing your inner world, your outer world has no choice but to change. You are in control..nothing outside of you can determine your fate or keep what you want from you. That will only be true if you believe that, and most people do unfortunately.
Everything on that list has come to pass. I am traveling the world whenever I want, for as long as I want. Because of the nature of my work, I have plenty of free time to do the things I care about, and to just relax and do nothing when I so choose. And boy, do I love doing nothing sometimes. I love getting massages and pampering my body more than life itself–and considering I have spent most of the last 3.5 years in places where a massage will run me ten bucks or less, I have indulged quite a bit. I have done 10 day meditation retreats and all sorts of other things to get in touch with the ‘big’ me, and live a more authentic life. My blog is inspiring people, and I have recently started coaching , there you have number five.
How to Get Things Moving….
So, now that you have completed that first step of assessing the situation and the second of actually thinking about what you want, you are ready to get things moving. Awesome. But, then you start thinking of all the things you want to be different, and that can feel a bit overwhelming.
You worry it will take a long time, or it will be really hard. That bit of enthusiasm that may have been triggered may start to wane a bit. But, don’t lose hope. No, you won’t be able to transform every aspect of your life overnight. It might not be feasible to just quit your job tomorrow; the issues you and your spouse have been having for years won’t be solved with a quick chat. After years of self-loathing and feeling unworthy of love, you might not meet your soul mate by the weekend.
But you don’t have to fix everything completely to start feeling better. Even small changes now can make a world of difference. Just focusing your efforts in one area now can do wonders for all aspects of your life. As you start to feel better overall, your experience will start to change .
At our core, we are just energy you see, and that energy determines what we attract. The more positive that energy, the more positive experiences we will attract in all areas of our life. When you start feeling better, you will be able to let in all sorts of ideas, inspirations and solutions that were previously unavailable to you in your lower energetic state. Lots of good things will start happening for you, often without any direct action on your part.
So, what could you start doing immediately to feel better? What can you eliminate from your life right now that is dragging you down? What steps can you take in this moment that will make you feel like you are moving towards what you want?
I know that once you admit where you are now, your current situation can seem almost intolerable. You are sick of this shit and you want it done with already. But, it might take a bit of time for things to come together. If you can exercise a bit of patience, and release the ‘all or nothing’ mentality, you will find great relief in these smaller shifts. Anything that can make you feel better is valuable in that it will raise your energy, and from a higher energetic space, your perspective will start to change. And once that changes, you are golden.
You have to be willing to take full responsibility for your life, and what you have created so far. It is really easy to blame other people, the government, society or whatever, for our problems, and really easy to formulate a perspective where this appears to be true. This is the perspective most people hold.
But, no matter what happens, we always have a choice on how to respond. We always have the ability to claim our full power and decide no one but us will steer the ship. This can be challenging for sure, and we may not always feel so powerful, but the more you step into it, the easier it gets. You will want to step into it more fully because a belief we are in complete control is a hell of a lot better than one that says we aren’t and that we are the mercy of outside forces.
Be Patient and Compassionate with Yourself
If you have been living a certain way, believing really crappy things about what life is supposed to be like, and carrying around a really distorted self-image for a long time, you are not just going to shed that all immediately. In theory, that is possible, but that would be an enormous shift that most of us probably couldn’t sustain for any long period of time.
You may not drop all your bad habits overnight. You may be half-hearted with your self-improvement efforts. You may still have your pity parties. Taking full responsibility for your life can be challenging since we are so conditioned to blame things outside of ourselves, and you’ll have your moments where you do just that.
It can take some time to really start to love ourselves, and believe on the deepest levels we deserve good things and to be happy. Some of the changes you know you need to make may not come so easy and you will put them off–this will stand in the way of your progress most likely, but it is what it is. There will come a point where you will feel ready to make these harder choices.
Like I said earlier, you can start feeling a lot better about yourself and your life even if all the things you want can’t flood into your experience the second you decide you want them. No matter what you want, you are after a feeling, and you can start cultivating those feelings now. What feelings lie behind what you want? What can you do now to create those same feelings? Remembering this can go a long way in soothing the discomfort that comes along with carving out a drastically different path for yourself.
In Closing…
Being in a place where the pain, frustration and all that other yuck has reached a boiling point can be unpleasant. But, you are actually being presented with a tremendous gift because it is at this point where real, lasting, life-altering change often takes place.
Like they say..when you hit rock-bottom, there is nowhere to go but up. While we can change at any point in our lives, the usual catalyst is the pain of the moment is becoming greater than any pain you may have associated with changing. You are being presented with an opportunity to rebuild your life from the ground up. All that negative emotion at such an intensity presents the chance to really dig deep and purge a lot of crap that might have gone untouched otherwise, left to fester and build.
Things can be good. They can get better. You just have to decide this is so.
Your Turn…
What did you think of this post? Anything resonate with you in particular? Would you add anything or give additional tips on how to deal with these types of moments? Are you really hating anything in life right now, and what are you doing to change it? Looking forward to your comments!
KC I sit beside the index card as I write this so you know that I know what time it is 😉 Having taken a similar journey AND being by your side over the past 7 and a half years I can say, honestly, that learning to laugh at your misery helps the misery go away. Then you’ll be compassionate with yourself – as you noted above – and at that moment of greater self love, you’ll start loving life as you think, feel and act like a freer, happier person, and things start lining up in a neat way.
LOVE the add of the index card; great authenticity here.
Keep on inspiring!
Ryan
You are so right about being to approach our tough times with a bit of lightness..it breaks down the resistance that can intensify the feelings. A lot of it really does come down to loving ourselves a bit more instead of being our worst critic. Glad you liked the index card..I thought that would help drive the point home.
Perfect timing as usual! I am very much at that “boiling point” now. OMG! How I am at that boiling point. I really resonated with “You are sick of this shit and you want it done with already.” Job (especially the job), parenting, my marriage (that paragraph cracked me up a little because I am experiencing issues in every single one of those areas right now) plus recent medical issues – I feel like I’m being hit from ALL sides right now.
Even though I’ve been a bit like Jekyll & Hyde lately (extreme emotional ups and downs here lately) a tiny part of me has been telling me that this is the tipping point. “You wanted change in 2015 and you are about to get it”. Seeing your list was really inspirational. You are doing all of those things now and that is so awesome! 🙂
I have plans in the works. I have been working on changing my situation, it has just been slow and frustrating. However, I’m sure that’s been due to my resistances and feeling unworthy and all that other bull crap. At this point, I don’t give a crap about my resistances anymore. I don’t care even if I’m not worthy (which I know I totally am) but I don’t care about that anymore. The pain of staying where I am due to whatever goofy fears I have is becoming too great. I gotta push through – one step at a time – despite my fears. Lots of little bread crumbs are being dropped showing me the way and I think it’s time I stop being afraid of whatever it is that I’m afraid of and start following them. Thank you Kelli! 🙂
Hey Summmer
It was so interesting reading your comment because I could feel a very powerful energy coming from it. It was a feeling of you having reached a deeper knowing about what is really happening and you know that something big is on the horizon. That kind of fed up feeling is often a major catalyst for major breakthroughs because it often leads to shedding a lot of resistance…we get so sick of feeling the way we feel, we kind of have that ‘fuck it’ mentality, and that can bring its benefits. Your mind has been really getting into it, and it is probably at a point where it is about to shrink back and let something else take over.
I feel super excited for you…I sense this is a definite leveling up.
Jan 19, 2015
Ah My dearest Kelli
I do believe congratulations are in order for your recent nuptials so I wish for you and Ryan a long life together filled with Love, Peace, Joy, and Happiness. I am delighted for you both!!
Sorry I missed the last live session but the usual finance problem doesn’t allow me to have extra to spend other than to live however, I remain happy and optimistic almost at all times. I am delighted that you have gone down this avenue of communication as I think it is an ideal way to get people involved that perhaps otherwise would not. It would be a treasure to actually speak with you in live time Miss awesome Kelli (or should I now call you Mrs LOL)
Anyway, the LOA has worked for me without ever knowing about it but I definitely have blockages, barriers when it comes to manifesting lovely money and although I have worked on myself I cannot seem to break down these obstacles. I have asked the universe to help me discover and break down these seemingly deep rooted misguided beliefs concerning the elusive cash abundance that I want and so richly deserve. I do not mind as to which way it manifests whether it is winning the lottery or being a successful writer where I have already put work in place to potentially earn a fortune; however I seem to be in the doldrums at present with no wind blowing in the sails and nothing is happening for me.
Now just like I already stated I remain happy and optimistic believing that my train has already left the station trundling its merry way to me; I have taken my (work) which I call my proverbial snowball up the mountain and I have given it a nudge to roll down collecting more snow on it journey getting bigger n bigger until finally it has grown to allow me to do what I want. Am I on the right track Kelli? or is there something that I am missing out on please?
Kelli, as always it has been a pleasure writing to you and waiting on your encouraging constructive reply and I hope to come on line for your next live event. I will need to work out in Irish time to be sure of catching it; wow to actually converse live with my hero Awesome Kelli Cooper what a thrill that would be for me.
Your Irish Buddy
Dominic
aka
John Lennon Cohen
Hi Dominic
My apologies..I saw you posted this same comment on the page for the money coaching call, and I thought I wrote you back. So, sorry about that! I hope you are able to make this call..I know it will be kind of late near you. I think a lot of people can relate to your situation with money. The points of views we have developed about what it takes to get money, the ease of bringing it into our lives, etc..are not exactly conducive to letting it flood into our experience with ease!
There are probably some blocks there, but I suspect they are not as deep and hidden as you may fear they are. Often times, when we are struggling with attracting something, especially something like money, where our immediate reality is providing a thousand reminders daily that it isn’t ‘here yet’ it is common to think we must have some monster hidden belief that is screwing with us, and we are doomed until we find out what it is. But what is happening more often is we haven’t really shifted our feelings regarding the bigger more obvious beliefs as well as we may think we have. Also, it is common to dismiss certain signs we are becoming a magnet to more financial abundance because the manifestations aren’t exactly what we have tried to manifest. For example, we may manifest some money but it’s not a lot or we dismiss someone giving us something for free that normally we would have had to pay for,etc…
As an exercise to see what might be happening right now might be to ask yourself if you would be surprised if your financial situation were to change right now? If yes, ask yourself why and that can bring up some beliefs that are probably still kind of strong. The doldrums is not a fun place to be in the moment but they are actually beneficial in that we usually let go of a lot of resistance through sheer ‘disgust’ of feeling this way, and we often have lots of insights.
Thank you so much Kelli and no apologies needed as I know that you are a busy person.
I wouldn’t be surprised if my financial status were to change right now for the better, I would be over the moon with excitement and have a plan in place when it does happens. However I do not know why it is not happening now but I do believe it is coming no matter what. I am living in it with delight in soul, mind, spirit, and body as if it is already there. I think this is a good omen and mind set but you can let me know if correct.
Sincerely
Dominic
Hi Kelli,
This post resonates with me as 2 months ago, I left a job I had hated to take a career break and re-evaluate my life. People I know are now commenting how happier I sound so I know it was a great decision for me.
Having made the big change myself, if I can offer anybody advice, it would be to make sure you have a good support network available to you. People who will be there for you no matter what, when the road ahead gets scary.
Have a great weekend
Jo
Hi Jo
Thanks so much for stopping by and taking the time to leave a comment. That is awesome you gave yourself a chance and gave up something that wasn’t serving you. Considering how much time we spend working, leaving a job that is draining us energetically can be a huge boon to our energy. That is a great tip about the support network, and for anyone reading this…you can get that with lots of online forums and what have you, so if you aren’t getting it from the people directly around you, you can get it somewhere.
Awesome article Kelli! I’m posting on my FB page to inspire others.
Thanks so much Terezia..so glad you liked it!
I was in this place a couple of years ago. Actually it lasted for a couple of years! For me the catalyst for things to change was me taking the initiative to make things better. Just to set the intention. All it took for me was to meditate on what I wanted every day, then it was a like a domino effect. I realised that I had to get rid of all the things in my life that I hated, in other words if someone really treated me badly, I cut them off, and if something upset me thinking about it, I didn’t think about it, and chose something nicer to focus on. Then all sorts of things that helped started to pop up – I was inspired to change my diet, start doing the Five Tibetans both make me feel so amazingly good, it’s like being high every day. This has led me to release some limiting beliefs so I feel even better. With all this going on I know my outside world is going to start to reflect this sooner or later.
Hi Bunny
I loved what you said about simply setting the intention to change and shift focus..that seems simple and ‘obvious’ but there is something very powerful when we make a true declaration to change..that can really get the ball rolling in the right direction. That deliberate shifting of focus off of things that were making you feel badly is great too…starting there and smoothing out the road as best we can to make the ‘good’ easier to come and easier to stay in a more positive place is so important. It sounds like you are doing awesome!
Well, I don’t hate my life anymore, although I haven’t yet arrived at a full embrace. But I can affirm that, as you say, taking responsibility and practicing self-compassion are two really important elements that I learned to practice no matter what was going on (accepting or not resisting). Not everything has changed on the “outside” of my life (some things have) but I can see how the things that are happening are blessing me.
Hey Jennifer
Thanks for sharing your experience and insights. That self-compassion can make this journey so much easier and allow us to travel much further with a bit less pain. It is great you are noticing the signs that what you want is being put together energetically right now and will come into your experience at the perfect time.
Hi Kelli, that’s very inspiring that everything on your list came true! Sometimes when you write lists like that it can be hard to believe they will come true because they just seem like words on paper. But I know words are important.
I know dreams can come true because when I was a teenager I really wanted to be a music video. Then coming up 3 years now I got to be in one with my belly dance group. It wasn’t a professional video, it was filmed by one of the group members and a few of us performed one of our dances. But it was a music video and so my dream came true, which gave me more of an idea of what is possible.
I have a Life List that I started in 2009 and I’ve done quite a few things on there. “Be in a music video” was one of them. Another was “Try root beer” which I know is widely available in America but not in the UK. When I wrote it on my list I thought I probably wouldn’t get to try it any time soon. But a few days after writing it somebody wrote on Facebook that she had some and it turned but they sold some at a world food shop near me. So I got to try it after all! I think I’ll go over my Life List and see if I want to update it. Thanks for the post. 🙂
Hi Moonsparkle
Nice to meet you here and I am close enough to you here in Ireland.
Just on the point of your post about lists, I too made a list in 2005 and it was in the form of drawing little pictures of what I wanted. I put it in an envelope and put it away and forgot about it. I found/opened it in 2012 and could not believe my eyes because almost everything had manifested into my life with a brand new house on a hill, a college degree, deep spiritual awareness/guidance that keeps on putting people onto my radar like the awesome Kelli Cooper and her new husband Ryan. Now Moonsparkle believe me when I say that the things I wished for seemed very much impossible to me in 2005 and I was in a very bad place with absolutely nothing going for me at all. However God, Angels, the universe, or whatever you wish to name it, had other plans and this simple little exercise sealed my fate and manifested THREE TIMES once on the paper I wrote on, again in the universe, and finally into reality. Wow isn’t it just fantastic and you know what, I literally did not do anything to manifest these after writing them down, I just forgot about them so there were no obstructions with limiting belief, impatience, or me trying to force any of my wants. I just let the universe do its thing without me interfering at all.
WOW Eureka! By writing this reply to you I am just after discovering the problem with my new list of wants in that I am monitoring all thus I am interfering with the greater power when I should just let things be as they are already created on paper and in the universe so I will just forget about it now and let it manifest in my reality.
Wow thank you Moonsparkle, Kelli, and the universe.
Love
Dominic
aka
John Lennon Cohen
Hi Dominic, nice to see you here too. I’ve also seen you commenting on Deliberate Receiving. 🙂
Thanks for sharing your story, it’s also very inspiring. 🙂 That’s amazing that so many things manifested! I think it’s a great idea to draw little pictures as well, don’t think I’ve heard that technique before. It’s good that there are so many different techniques out there. I’m not so good with drawing, I’m better with words but drawing your desires sounds like a fun exercise, especially for people whose best medium is drawing. 🙂
I think that’s often the way it goes, you do an exercise and then forget about it and your desire manifests because, like you said, there are no obstructions.
You’re welcome, I’m glad that my comment could help you in some way. And thanks for yours, it can really help to read success stories. Good luck with your new list of wants! Best wishes. 🙂
Hi
You are right..when we first make lists like that, everything can seem so far away or ‘impossible’ based on our current mentality and state of affairs. That is awesome that some of your intentions have manifested. That root beer story is so interesting because while it is not some big important desire central to your life, how the manifestation came about is exactly how a bigger thing can come about as well…we just never know what will pop up that will lead us closer or provide a direct path to what we want to create. Definitely go back through and add anything new that comes to mind, no matter how small. The more we see attraction in action, the more or trust builds, and the more we allow ourselves to want the things we really want.
Hi Kelli, thanks for your reply. You’re right, the root beer manifestation showed how easily things can come about. Because it wasn’t a big thing and I didn’t have any limiting beliefs about it, it came easily. I think the more I work on my beliefs and feeling better the easier it will be to manifest bigger things.
Root beer was something I always read about in American books. I read about Twinkies too and I just saw them at my local supermarket the other day, so I’ll try them too, lol. (My supermarket now has an American foods section). Twinkies weren’t on my list but they are something I’ve been wanting to try.
I did have a look at my Life List and it was good to see how many things have manifested. There’s nothing new I want to add at the moment but I’ll keep a lookout for any ideas that come to mind in the future.
Hmm..twinkies. I love them..hadn’t had one in awhile. Might have to indulge. It really is so fascinating how things come into our experience so easily when we totally don’t think about them. It’s trickier with bigger things that we really want because it’s hard not to think about them! But, so long as we have a sense of detachment as best we can,that won’t stand in the way too much.
Yes, it can be so hard with the bigger things not to think about them and wonder when they will come! But I’m working on detachment and feeling better in general and I have felt shifts, so I know that something is working, which is good. 🙂
Yeah, the bigger things can be harder to just release on..that is where some practice focusing positively each day, even if just for a few minutes can help. That is helpful for weakening the worrisome thoughts that pop in.
What a lovely post and comments! Worth reading again.
What is it about 2009? Many left their jobs to start blogs at that time and many were very unhappy then and now feel a lot better after finding like-minded people with whom to discuss things. And Kelli, to me that seems like last year! since getting into LOA, time is much slower for me, unlike others who are way to old to be here, it seems. I mean, I feel a certain age and lo and behold, people think I am that age. It lost several years in a depression and when my vibe shifted, I went back to that age and I get to have some sort of second chance or do-over! The universe rocks! And the depression was because I am genetically prone to it; there wasn’t actually anything wrong with my life. My mom was always depressed and complained all the time. As a matter of fact, I have never seen her happy and that is all I knew growing up. I never learned to appreciate and complained myself because I was not exposed to anything else and all I had as a role model was my mom. They even say that dogs take the personality of their owner, if you can imagine. Then I left home and things started to change, thank goodness. So, a happy mom is the best thing a child could have, believe me!
So, we are here to be happy? Sometimes it does not seem that way. It is sheer torture and I wonder why we ever signed up for this realm in the first place, because it can suck, and so can people. But with a higher vibe, hopefully we won’t run in to the ones that suck, right?
And writing things down, hmmm. In 2004 I did that for my ideal mate. I also embraced my single life, was not embarrassed by how many people I dated and stopped worrying about people asking me why I was not married. I was still young anyway. I instead enjoyed what I had to the fullest. Why the heck not, I asked myself. People will just need to accept my “playgirl” sort of status, because I was so far from marriage. I also stopped comparing myself to those who were getting married. Again, that was my mom’s frame of thought, not mine. And, wouldn’t you know it, the next year, I got three marriage proposals. I had to choose, something that no one thought was possible, but I knew it, since I blurted it out to an ex who said he would get married before me. By the way, he can’t forget me and he is still not married. So, the technique works, you just have to chill!
Hi K
Perhaps the stars were aligned for big changes for certain signs or whatever that year! It is interesting to think back to that period in my life and see how different things are. That must have been challenging growing up with a mother like that…our home life is like our own little universe and so much of what we feel, think and believe is influenced by that. When we are younger we don’t know any better to evaluate and question. It seems like you were able to learn and grow so much from that experience, and that is wonderful.
I do believe the core purpose of our life is to find our own definition of happiness and create like the powerful beings we are. Now, not everyone’s path this time around may lead them there, but I feel everyone is kind of doing what they should be doing. I believe that our higher selves came here with kind of a plan, of themes to explore, and some of those themes would not be anything a rational human mind would choose. But I suppose some of those souls are quite advanced and were up for a challenge. But, I don’t think we are defined by some sort of unchangeable life plan..we may be exploring certain themes that are not very pleasant, but we have the power to explore the flipside as well to get the whole experience. For example, being born into poverty but then working towards achieving abundance.
I really enjoy that story about your wanting to manifest a relationship and totally embracing your life as a single person. One of the keys to attracting is making peace with our current circumstances…that doesn’t mean pretending to like things we don’t like but just adopting a different perspective that actually makes us feel good. Sounds like you had that nailed. I love that advice..you just have to chill. Sums it up perfectly!
Do we need to keep the paper we write our desires on, or tear it up and throw it away?
Hey K
Ultimately, whatever feels good to you. Affirmations, writing things down and other tools we use are just means to an end. We utilize them to help shift our beliefs, feelings and thought patterns. So long as something helps us do that, it is good and it doesn’t matter how we use that tool. If something doesn’t resonate with us, we don’t have to force ourselves to do it because someone told us we have to use that tool or we can’t get results. So, feel free to do whatever feels right.
Hey Kelli,
Great post. I was totally in this situation two years ago. It started spiraling two years prior in my corporate America job. I’d always had an extremely successful career. I was highly regarded even with my very first job at age 16. Well, in 2008, after working with the same company for 14 1/2 years, I had a very lucrative job offer at another company.
The day I walked in the door, people had nothing nice to say to me. Apparently, I dressed too nice and that bothered people. Gave them the impression that I thought quite highly of myself. Fact of the matter, I did because I lost 80 pounds and worked damn hard at keeping it off. I finally felt pretty and good about myself, so I wore dresses every day, not jeans like they wore.
Well, in my third year there, after doing EXTREMELY well, I ended up having a female boss who told me I didn’t give her the WOW factor and from that point on, made my life a living hell. Needless to say, she told me she wanted me out of there.
My entire spirit was knocked down and I just wanted to crawl in a hole. Seemed there was nothing I could do right. I could’ve left, but something kept me there.
I started listening to personal development and motivational cd’s on my way to and from work. I realized I am a good person and it wasn’t about me, it was about her insecurities. I stayed for two more years (total of five) and put up with everything they dished out until they finally let me go. First time in my life I’ve ever been let go from a job.
But, it all happened for a reason. This closed door opened a door of opportunity for me to help people improve their own lives. I have a passion for health and wellness and now I have my own holistic health coaching business.
I kept praying and put notes around everywhere saying positive affirmations. It’s what got me to survive those days. And, it’s completely part of my life now. Every day is a blessing, everything is laid out for me. I’m going where my heart tells me to follow.
I’ve removed all negativity from my life (including spending any time with my family or friends that were about drama and negativity). Sometimes it can be quite lonely, but I’m definitely happier.
Thank you for the wonderful tips, as always. Lisa
Hi Lisa
Thank you so much for sharing that story with me. I imagine that would be a difficult environment to work in…it isn’t always so easy to just walk away from things that are causing us pain, especially work. We get much of our identity from our job, fear about money and a whole bunch of other stuff. It sounds like that was a very big catalyst for you to get where you are now, and like you said, it all happened for a reason. There is always something to be learned from everything that happens to us..it can be hard to see that at the time, but it will surface eventually. Sounds like you have some nice rituals that work well for you, and good move about limiting your time with people who make you feel badly. That can be another hard thing to do, but as you continue on this path, you will attract people that are a good match for your higher vibration and will lift you up.