Getting a bit frustrated with your efforts to manifest something? Do things not seem to be working? Is this whole law of attraction thing turning out to be a lot harder than you expected? Are you super-pissed at yourself for not being able to let in what you want?
Are you filled with a sense of despair that you will never get what you want? Do you feel like you have failed? Are you convinced there is some vibrational defect that is apparently beyond repair and you might as well just accept your lot as it is in this moment?
This is a sucky place to be, and many people who begin working consciously with their energy, have been here at one point. You are not alone. I have been here at certain times, and I get how frustrating it is to struggle with this whole ‘creating our own reality’ thing.
In today’s post, I share three insights that I think are particularly helpful for seeing what’s up vibrationally, getting back on track and rediscovering your enthusiasm for conscious creation.
What Have You Been Glossing Over?
One of the biggest reasons people have trouble manifesting is the mistaken belief that we must get all happy 24/7, focus on the positive, and just ignore the negative. We pretend things don’t bother us that really do; we think we have to start loving things we hate, or just roll with the punches when it comes to undesirable elements of our immediate reality, lest our negative energy will screw it all up.
Discomfort in various forms may surface, but we stuff it back down. We go into denial.
There may be a fear that copping to what is really going on will somehow make it more intense, that it will become an even bigger barrier. But that is not going to happen. The acknowledging is the very thing that will fix the issue.
On some level, we believe we can ‘hide’ this from the Universe, and it can just give us what we want anyway. But it is in our vibration, and it can’t ever be defied, not ever, ever, ever. We can’t just pretend our way through consciously creating our reality.
So, you have to ask yourself..what have you been glossing over?
What isn’t feeling good that you are simply ignoring, rationalizing or minimizing?
What fears and beliefs are still strong that you are pretending aren’t strong?
What energies are still in your life that are diluting whatever positive momentum you are banking?
What things are you still doing that you don’t want to be doing, or feel painful, hard or draining, but are powering through anyway, feeling like there is no other choice but to grin and bear it for now?
What boundaries need to be set but haven’t in order to make you feel better? Or have you tried to set boundaries but have been inconsistent with applying them?
If something is going left unexplored, or you are not fully admitting to how you really feel about something, your vibrational feedback will keep alerting you to it. The more you ignore it, the louder the feedback gets, and that is when the bigger, nastier manifestations start to happen.
That is when you get potentially get sucked even further into the pit and away from what you want, and bouncing back becomes more challenging because the resistance will just continue to build.
Like some of you may already know from reading my list email from Monday, I manifested a nasty spill on my scooter earlier in the day. The road by our house is rocky, unpaved and uneven, and it can be a bit treacherous.
I was going super slow, but managed to wipe out anyway. Falling on such a surface scratched and bruised up my leg up real good. The bike landed right on top of it, and I can’t really walk.
At the time, I really didn’t feel too strongly about this manifestation either way…I was kind of in neutral space emotionally. Physically, I was in pain, but it really wasn’t bothering me. I knew it served a purpose, but nothing was really happening at the moment.
But, the next day, I had a lot of stuff come up, stuff that I was glossing over. The frustration of not being able to walk brought out frustrations I had about other things too. This wasn’t some monster accident, nor had I been suppressing anything big time, but nonetheless, I was. And this incident was enough for me to look more closely.
I went with it, and that led to other things surfacing, things I really didn’t even realize I felt or thought so strongly. I had a nice good cry, and talked it out with Ryan. Some of this stuff didn’t make any sense ‘logically,’ or seemed kind of silly.
It doesn’t matter how small something seems, how irrational, or whether or not you think you ‘should’ be feeling particular feelings or thinking particular thoughts. Don’t judge, just let it up.
Yes, even people like me, who are so good at explaining this attraction thing, that are really good at helping others shift their energy, have their ‘stuff’ too. And look at all the awesome crap I have been able to manifest. You don’t need to be perfect, trust me.
I speak from experience when I say how important it is to be honest with ourselves about what is really happening inside, what we are thinking and feeling. This is by far the most helpful thing that has allowed me get more advanced in my manifesting and shift my energy.
In the moment, it will feel really freaking uncomfortable, but this is almost always a necessary piece of the puzzle when we are feeling really stalled in our manifesting efforts and nothing seems to be going as we hope. There is something there that needs to be brought out into the light, examined and cleared.
Honestly Assess Your ‘Efforts’ at Shifting Your Energy
Like I discussed in my last post, the theory of attraction and actually manifesting in our current vibrational reality can be quite different. Technically we don’t need to do a damn thing but decide what we want, feel good about getting it, and taking inspired action when it strikes.
We actually don’t even really need the action part at all, but most of us probably can’t truly buy into the belief we don’t have to do anything; for the most part, we kind of want to take action and participate in our manifestations..but I digress as I often do.
And if we had no resistance, this would really be all that is required, but we do. This means that there will be some degree of effort involved in shifting our energy, reforming our self-image and releasing beliefs that are not serving us.
This work doesn’t have to be painful or take hours a day, but there has to be some degree of consistency, at least for a period, until we more naturally enter a feel-good space, and there is less resistance around what we want.
You have to be honest with yourself here…have you really been doing what is required of you to make the shifts?
There will be times when we really need to step into our shitty feelings and feel them.
There will be times when visualizing will be super-important because it helps us get clear, and helps us build momentum behind the energy we want to cultivate more strongly.
There will be times when we have to be willing to step back from action and ways of being that are interfering. We can’t manifest with greater ease, unless we are willing to step back and trust the Universe has got this.
There will be times when we have to make a deliberate effort to spend our time in ways that make us feel better.
How well you have really detached from what you want?
How much do you really believe you will get this thing?
If you have really been struggling, I guarantee that you will find that perhaps you haven’t been ‘trying as hard’ as you claim to have been trying. And it’s okay..just own it.
You will feel a hell of a lot better realizing the struggles are resulting from being a bit of a manifesting slacker, and you can turn things around with some renewed commitment, than to be convinced that you are doing everything right, and for some unknown reason, things don’t seem to be working.
Are You Making the ‘What’ the ‘How’?
This one can be a bit tricky because naturally we have our sights set on specific manifestations. We have desires for specific things, and we believe having them will make us feel good in some way.
And we are entitled to want whatever we want. But, sometimes, without realizing it, we make what we want the how. We have our sights set on a specific set of feelings, way of life and what have you, and can easily be convinced that only certain things can fulfill this vision.
We get very attached to how things are supposed to look, and what needs to happen for us to feel like we have ‘succeeded’ with our manifestation. Anything else would be failure, or not as satisfying plain and simple.
And when we do this, we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to manifest these particular things. We are constantly noticing their absence. We have a really hard time feeling good now, in this very moment. There is great difficulty in just going with the flow, and enjoying the manifesting process.
We close ourselves off to countless other manifestations that will give us exactly what we want; we shut the door on things that may be an even better representation of our ultimate desire.
What you claim to want may not be what you actually truly want..your higher self knows what is best,(and I don’t mean that in a mom knowing what is best for her kid kind of way) and wants to help you line up with it, but we get in the way by being so attached to certain things.
For example, you may be very attached to growing your current business venture—nothing wrong with that, but in being so convinced that this is the only way you can feel accomplished, make money and all that other stuff, you keep out other opportunities that can give you all that you seek just the same.
You can still find success with this venture if that is what you really want, or you might find yourself going off in another direction. But, no matter what, it will be all good because whatever you manage to manifest will feel just like what you want, and that is all you are after ultimately, a feeling.
Have you decided that money is the only way to live a better life or get the things you want? When things are a bit weak in the money department, it is very easy to determine that is crux of our current problems, and that is we had more, all would be well. But, lots of the stuff you think you need money for, you actually don’t. A lot of what you truly want has very little to do with money.
Really ponder whether you are making your ‘what’ the ‘how.’ You may be surprised at the insights you gain, insights that will be tremendously helpful in getting unstuck. When you open yourself up to more possibilities, you will begin to see manifestations that will restore your faith in the process.
In Closing…
I hope that if you are feeling really frustrated with your law of attraction efforts, something in this post resonated with you, and will provide something to chew on.
No matter how far away you may seem from what you want, or how ‘unsuccessful’ your efforts have been up until this point, it is no way an indicator you can’t have what you want, or that your vibration is beyond repair.
It can take a bit of practice to get things moving in the right direction, feeling and belief-wise. Just doing a 180 isn’t likely to happen, and it doesn’t need to.
You most likely have had some manifestations that showed you were moving in the right direction, but dismissed them. You may have been presented solutions that you rejected for seeming too easy or for some other weird objection presented by your mind.
You have probably been doing better than you are giving yourself credit for.
Just step back and reassess. Let your intuition guide you. Be willing to move gradually than make huge leaps..to your mind that seems like it will take longer, but it will actually move you along much more quickly because there will be less resistance. You have to be willing to be a bit patient.
Things don’t necessarily need to take a long time, but you may not get your full-fledged manifestation immediately. It’s okay. Learn to enjoy the journey a bit more.
Your Turn…
What did you think of the post? Did you find anything particularly relevant for your own situation? What manifestations are you struggling with, and what do you think is getting in the way? Do you have any advice to give when people are at the peak of their frustration? Can’t wait for your comments as always!
Hi KC,
I recall the Jim Rohn quote, where he likened personal development to showering. Gotta do it daily to make things happen, or to see lasting results over time. It takes more than offering trite advice, it takes simple, powerful, persistent practice, to make your life turn around.
Glad you’re healing, and inspired post as always!
Keep telling those stories and rocking it out!
Ryan
Hi Ry
You are so right..it is something we must engage in on a regular basis. That doesn’t necessarily mean it has to be some hard, laborious task, but we want to maintain some degree of awareness of what is going on in our life, and inside, and see what we can do to be at the top of our game, well-being wise.
[ Smiles ] Hi Kelli, Ryan recommended your website; I told him that he didn’t have to bribe me to read your articles since I am in to the Law of Attraction.
I am a big fan of Esther Hicks and the teachings of Abraham.
I enjoyed your post.
Your emotions are an indicator as to where you are vibrationally.
And, in regards to unwanted manifestations, I would recommend that a person visualizes what they want and not the unwanted.
Hi Renard
Thanks so much for stopping by. I always love meeting fellow LOA ‘enthusiasts.’ I am a fan as well. We can learn so much from them. You are so right about our feelings being an indicator..they are a very good feedback system as far as assessing the situation and seeing where we can tweak things. Feeling good is so important because then we attract more that makes us feel good, which when all is said and done, is what we really want, no matter our specific desires.
Great recommendation..seems simple enough but it is easy to get caught up in old thought patterns. With a bit of deliberate practice, we can get so much better at focusing on what we want, build some energy behind it, and start seeing results very quickly.
Hello Kelli,
I have been following your blog for a while and I absolutely love it, thank you for sharing your wisdom in such a clear and fun way.
Your post today really resonated with me as I’m currently struggling to manifest something pretty big. For the past few months I have been trying to create a relationship with a specific person with limited success. I know some LOA websites say that this is impossible, but, what can I say Kelli, I’m in love :).
I had a brief period of success where we exchanged a few emails and we seemed to get friendly, but then he disappeared out of the blue and I haven’t heard from him since. I know he’s still around as he’s been communicating with other people, but he is totally blanking me.
I was really excited when we had this brief contact but now I get the feeling that I must have screwed up somehow as he seems to have evaporated and nothing I do makes a difference. I am now feeling ugly and uninteresting as a result, not to mention hugely discouraged! And yes, I do very much feel like throwing in the towel and admitting to myself that I’m not good enough for him…
Yes, I know this sounds terrible, but this is where I’m at! Help!
Thank you x
Hi Noa
So glad you are liking the blog, and so happy you have decided to leave me a comment. I appreciate your honesty in saying what you are trying to manifest. We can get very attached to certain people and the idea that they are who we want to be with. I wouldn’t say it’s impossible to manifest a relationship with a specific person..in the sense that we can’t create in anyone else’s reality and make them do anything, yes, it is. But, it is possible that a shift in your energy could make you more of a match for this person..whether or not it would be a lasting relationship or just a step along the way to your best match would remain to be seen.
Your vibration seems to have a lot of fear and doubt in it, and in that state, he wouldn’t be able to make his way in, nor anybody who would make you feel good about yourself–you have to get into that state first. This situation is simply mirroring back what is happening inside, and much to be learned. The thrill of the chase may also be contributing to the intensity of your feelings, leading you to think you like him more than you really do…I know that was a big issue for me, so just throwing that out there. You didn’t screw anything up…we really can’t..every experience serves us and shows us what needs to be tweaked to move closer to what we want.
There are a couple of things I would recommend you do right now.
1. Don’t get attached to him being the person you must have this relationship with..I know that is easier said than done, but ultimately you are after feelings, and he is certainly not the only person who can help you accomplish that.
2. You have to make peace with being single, and work on shifting whatever beliefs you think are interfering with finding a relationship. Once you do that, you will start seeing manifestations that show you that you are lining up with better matches. Celebrate them, don’t dismiss them because you still haven’t landed a boyfriend..it is usually incremental. For example, you may find yourself meeting more people whom have the traits you want in a partner. Be open to seeing other people, but don’t look at every person hoping they are the one..that is a lot of pressure.
3. Ask yourself why you want to try and be with someone who isn’t giving you what you want? Is this person really that great, or do you really want a relationship really badly and have just set your sights on him for whatever reason?
Hope this helps you a bit, and don’t be shy about commenting..I love interacting with my readers!
Hello Kelli,
Thank you ever so much for your kind words, I really appreciate you taking the time to reply.
You raise some very valid points and I realise I have a lot of work to do on myself. Let me explain, my self-image and self-worth, as you have probably noticed, are abysmal. Since childhood I have been told that I am ugly and uninteresting, I was always compared to my prettier, bubblier sister, and I have grown with those beliefs. I was also teased at school, really badly, which in my mind only served to confirm what my family seemed to think about me.
I really don’t know how to improve things, I look at myself in the mirror and I see the same ugly child I was. When I meet new people I am scared I will say something that will make me look like a fool. Well, you get the drift…
About this guy I’m trying to manifest. There is an intense physical attraction, I basically fancy the pants off him hahaha, and I also admire him a great deal, I admire what he does and how well he does it. We have lots of things in common, we seem to share the same world views, the same sense of humour, it’s actually quite frightening how good a match we seem to be.
He’s a very popular guy, understandably, and always seems to be surrounded by women, I know he’s heavily pursued by gorgeous women and that makes me feel quite depressed and pessimistic about my chances. Even though I know that we would be an excellent match, he’s my soul mate.
I realise that my limiting believes about my appearance and my personality are holding me back massively, and I have tried very hard to shift them. But every time I say to myself that I’m pretty or interesting I feel as if I’m lying to myself, and that makes me feel even worse.
I’ve gone on a bit, haven’t I? 😉 Sorry about that! I just thought I would paint you a more complete picture. Thank you again for your time and wisdom.
Noa x
Hi Noa
Unfortunately, you are not alone in having had parents that did a number on your self-image and compared you to a sibling. The teasing that was used to confirm those beliefs were simply mirroring back that to you..of course as someone who seems to know about law of attraction, you probably already know that. But it is often something we need to be reminded of because those experiences of ‘proof’ can be very powerful.
One of the most important things to do when trying to undo things that came from our past is acknowledge the origins–that’s important for helping us assess the situation–but do your best to focus on how you feel now and what you can do moving forward to change. While there is value in digging through the past, the more we do that, the more our mind will be able to convince us that we should be feeling badly..after all, look at all this stuff that happened? That makes it much harder to let go of the stories. Go there when you feel you really need to, but know that your feelings are valid no matter what for the sheer fact you are having them,and you don’t need to justify them by pointing out all the things that led to feeling that way.
If this person truly is a great match for you, there is no way he can come into your orbit with this vibration. When we feel very strongly there are things wrong with us, and we can’t find a relationship, that is the only thing that can be mirrored back to us. It is just purely vibrational feedback and not any sort of punishment.
Right now, the best thing for you would be to work on your self-image…trying to attract the type of relationship you are looking for right now, from this space, will be an exercise in frustration, and that will just pile on the resistance.
I imagine you have a lot of anger towards your parents for treating you that way, and if you haven’t been expressing it–not necessarily to them, but just really letting the emotion surface–that will be a good place to start. Anger can be very healing, and shift energy significantly.
Attracting a great relationship doesn’t have to be all dramatic, with unrequited love, back and forth and all of that. When we really believe we can have it, it will come together very easily. Keep that in mind as well.
You seem very self-aware of your blocks so that is half the battle right there. You just need to give yourself permission to feel better and move on. That intention right there creates the energy of the situation you want, so don’t underestimate that step.
Thank you very much again Kelli, that is very helpful to me. I will start working on my self-image as a starting point, and see where that takes me. I will keep you updated on my progress! 🙂 Have a wonderful day, looking forward to reading your next entry.
Take care, and thank you again for your wisdom and your kindness.
Hi Noa
My pleasure. That is the most important work you can do right now, and once you start making shifts there, you will become a better match to great guys, and get the exact relationship you want. Please do keep me posted!
Wow Kellie – this has resonated with me big time, it feels like you have lifted the fog and put out a series of signs to help me navigate. How timely was it to read this!!
Hi Kelly!
I am so glad you liked it! That lifting of the fog is a great feeling because when that happens, we get all sorts of great ideas that point us in the right direction, and help us step our manifesting.
A timely post for me. I think something we have to watch out for is unexpected resistance when we are starting to really get in the LOA groove. I find I had a really good run of releasing resistance and feeling good, and I thought ‘here we go, the good stuff is gonna come soon’. Uh uh. Then something happens out of the blue (like you stacking your bike, and in my case, my son being bullied at school yesterday which really pissed me off and made me feel bad about other areas of my life ) to make you realise there is some resistance there. I have to feel it so I can release it and find out some more truths. So even though I feel shitty I have to learn to go with the flow and not beat myself up for feeling bad and ‘failing’ at LOA. Actually the bullying thing got resolved really nicely a minute ago after a phone call to an understanding principal who had already sorted out the situation so that was a nice thing that I visualised and turned out better than I expected.
Hey Bunny
You are so right about that unexpected resistance..it can really throw us for a loop when things have been going really smoothly for a bit. But, as we all know, that forward momentum means that anything standing in the way needs to pop up to be dealt with! You said it best..even though you feel badly, you have to remember to show yourself compassion, and realize that you are not failing at all. We all have all sorts of resistance, and certain things simply won’t be triggered until we get deeper, and start going for bigger and bolder things. I think on some level, we believe we will reach some perfect state where we no longer have any resistance, but that is a pretty tall order. When I made peace (well mostly!) with the fact that I will always be looking to create something, and there will likely be something that needs to be cleared out first, it was less painful to deal with.
That the situation turned out so well is a testament to your energy. I am sorry to hear there were problems with your son..I imagine that was a very emotional situation to think someone was being unkind to him in some way.
Hi Kelly,
Your post always come right on time for me. At first, for a while, I could see various manifestations, little things that were happening letting me know I was going in the right direction. Then I’ve has some life changes (new grandson, extra people living in my house, and all kinds of other life and family stuff) and I guess I’m definitely not in a good place right now and not working on those things I need because I’m worried about and working on everyone else’s needs and stuff.
This article definitely helped me to decide I need to refocus and evaluate those things and my feelings. As always, when I leave your site, I feel somewhat inspired to do more with LOA to manifest what I want.
Thank you. Great job Kelli.
Have a great week.
Barbara
Hi Barbara
What you are experiencing is understandable. Let’s face it, we want what we want and when we don’t see that exact thing after a bit, we can start to get frustrated. The little manifestations can keep us afloat emotionally for a bit, but that really doesn’t last. That is why it is so important we work on learning to cultivate ways to feel good without looking for something outside of us to give us a reason. Not only will we lighten up on our sense of impatience and need around what we want because we feel good now, even without it, we can speed things along a bit.
Admitting what is happening and how you feel about it will be very helpful..we all have preferences for how we want things to be, like the type of home environment we enjoy, and that’s fine. So, you don’t have to make yourself be happy about things that are problematic. You do want to just focus on shifting your focus in a way that actually makes you feel better. And don’t hesitate to put that focus back on yourself…that is the best thing you can do for everyone, actually.
Another brilliant article Kellie. Quite a lot resonated with me. Your comment about “being so convinced that this is the only way you can feel accomplished” reminded me of my situation many years ago now of being in despair of ever getting my health back when I had chronic fatigue. I was very ambitious and pushed myself so hard physically in one business after another that the chronic fatigue made me take a step back and look at how I could become successful and realize my ambition with less stress on my body. I did eventually get better and it was my quest for a cure that led me to feeling accomplished in a completely different way.
Hi Sandy
So glad you liked it. Your story is a common one..we push and push until we are forced to stop because our bodies literally can’t take anymore. In that space, we have no choice but to reevaluate, and realize that this isn’t going to work moving forward. We always kind of knew it wasn’t working, but so long as we haven’t dropped dead, we figure we can pile on a bit more. One of the big problems that causes this is the belief we have to suffer to get what we want, and if we aren’t suffering a bit, we are probably not trying hard enough. That is a sucky way to go through life, and a surefire way to endanger our physical and mental health.
It sounds like you re-evaluated what accomplishment and success meant to you, and was able to find it in a way that was much more pleasant. Making our own definitions of things is a very powerful tool in living a more fulfilling life.
Glad to hear so much good came out of the situation..at the time it was surely unpleasant, but seemed to have served you quite well.
Kelli,
It’s great to be back here, it feels like it’s been forever! How’s married life these days? Still honeymooning? Always honeymooning? =)
I know what you mean about getting the “what” and the “how” mixed up. It’s not as simple as it sounds sometimes, but it’s an important balance to grasp. It’s all about being grateful for what we have and relentlessly following our passion, even sometimes when it means stepping out of our comfort zone, and doing those things we feel compelled to do and excited about doing. When we do that, amazing things can happen. I KNOW that’s true!
Thanks as usual for the inspiration!
Brittany
Hey Brittany
Married life is good, though it doesn’t feel that much different. Perhaps because we were together a really long time beforehand, and no major changes in our life other than that. Just business as usual.
You are so right about it not being so simple…it can be a hard distinction to make sometimes, which is why it can go unnoticed. That willingness to put up with the discomfort is one of the most useful tools in our arsenal. When we can learn to withstand it, nothing can really get in our way because the thing that stops most people in their tracks is all the feelings that pop up when we do something new, take a risk,etc..
Remove that from the equation and we’re golden.
You strike me as someone who is willing to do that, and it shows in all the things you have managed to manifest in your life. I can’t wait to read your post.. I am sure it will be great as always!
Hi Kelli,
This was my first time stopping by your site after reading Ryan’s article.
I really like what you said about not glossing over things. We have to face and address the negatives or else they just crop back up later. This was a hard lesson for me to learn (well, am still learning).
Thanks for inspiring people to live positive lives!
Peace out and adventure on!
Hi Tara
Thanks so much for stopping by and taking the time to comment. I think that is a lesson that most of us will keep learning over and over..myself included! If we can just remember that whatever is popping up is there to help us get where we want to be in some way, these situations can be a bit more palatable. So glad you enjoyed the post, and I love the title of your site..will head on over and check it out. Always love connecting with fellow travelers.
Hey Kelli,
I really like what you said “Technically we don’t need to do a damn thing but decide what we want, feel good about getting it, and taking inspired action when it strikes.”
It reminds me of something Louise Hay said. It was something like this “Put your order out there to the universe and let it be. When you order something in a restaurant, you don’t keep checking on your order.”
Kind of similar to what you’re saying. I guess the difficult thing is wanting to have a timeframe on things and the unknown.
Other than that, I think I’m doing much better with LOA since reading your posts. Thank you, Lisa
Hi Lisa
I have heard that analogy before too, and it is a perfect illustration. If only it were that easy to apply, especially for things that we really want or are super important for us! Most of us haven’t built up that level of trust yet, and it’s okay. We just have to work on chipping away at the resistance, and we’ll start seeing manifestations that increase our trust, which makes it easier and easier to step aside and let the Universe do its thing. I am so happy to hear the posts are helping you in your work. Just keep at it, and make peace with the fact the resistance is there..that makes it less painful to work through for sure. We all have it.