Just Got Punched in the Face by Life? 3 Keys to Help You Regroup and Move Forward

One of the most interesting and awesome things about life is that we just never know what’s going to happen. One of the most unsettling aspects about life is we just never know what’s going to happen. One day everything seems okay, and the next, a major shit storm has made its way into our atmosphere.

We are totally blindsided, and left feeling a bit bruised and battered. Things have been shaken up in a way we couldn’t have anticipated, and we are left with a sense of raw fear about the future, and what will become of us.

I remember a few years ago, I experienced this sort of upheaval in losing my income basically overnight, without any sort of savings. But, for anyone who has read any of my other posts referencing this situation, you already know how I note it as a a major turning point in my life, and a catalyst for creating all sorts of awesomeness.

These particularly shitty times can be a gift in many ways, though it may take a bit for you to come around to this way of thinking…that’s okay. Most of us would happily pass up dealing with any sort of unpleasantness if given the opportunity. Only those uber-advanced spiritual masters greet problems with a smile, and look forward to seeing how it will help them grow. The rest of us are kind of like..no thanks, I’m good.

But, as we all know, it is these hard times that help us grow, change for the better and all that jazz. Had that situation with my finances not happened, would I still have gotten to this better place? Maybe, maybe not. There is no way to know for that certain. What I do know for certain is that in this reality, it was a major player.

So, for all of you who have recently been punched in the face by life, and are still nursing the blow, here are some of my thoughts on getting through this time, and stepping into a better version of yourself and your life.

Big, Unpleasant Situations Didn’t Happen Out of Nowhere

You know I love me some law of attraction, so I can’t talk about a topic like this without going a bit into it as I think it will be very helpful when you have been bitch-slapped by life. Here’s the thing…big, nasty situations don’t just come out of nowhere. You are not being punished, the Universe or God or whatever you want to call it, is not dicking around with you for its own amusement. There is no ‘balancing out’ the good with the bad.

Since us humans are conditioned to keep trudging through situations no matter how painful, since we have a very hard time breaking free of the life we don’t want and continue to do things that make us unhappy, we get a lot of momentum behind negative beliefs and feelings.

And this energy causes us to have all sorts of experiences we don’t like..said experiences are trying to get our attention that something is amiss, and we don’t pay them mind. We keep moving towards the pain, we keep glossing over what we don’t like, we keep pretending things that bother us a lot don’t bother us that much,etc…

So, as this energy builds, the negative manifestations tend to become a big bigger. And if we keep ignoring them, eventually something we really don’t like is going to happen.

Now, this is the part where I like to remind people that attraction is not a system of punishment or reward being orchestrated by some force larger than us—it is just a neutral process that makes a hell of a lot of sense to me as to why things happen. Our experience is a mirror, plain and simple. And, I’d just like to throw in another little tidbit that might help as well…I believe we come into our particular life to explore certain themes, which may entail experiencing certain situations that to our human mind basically suck. 

So, this is not about blaming yourself for the unwanted experiences in your life, this is simply about adopting a sense of responsibility, and realizing we have a great deal more control over our experience than we typically think we do. This is quite empowering, not something that you should get all pissed off about. Wouldn’t you rather adopt a belief system that puts you in the driver’s seat, than one where we have no control and are at the complete mercy of other people and various outside forces?

So, if you find yourself in a position where you have received this major type of blow, I urge you to really think about this. What else has been going on in your life recently, and even not so recently, that may have contributed to this? Where were you ignoring, glossing or denying? What things were eating at you that you didn’t do anything about? The more you dig, the more it will become obvious that this particular situation was not a totally isolated incident.

This may be a bit uncomfortable for you, but the insights you can gain are invaluable in helping you pick up the pieces, and move forward with a whole new perspective, and degree of control you have never exercised before.

You are Being Forced into a Space You Probably Wouldn’t Enter Willingly

You know why we continue to live a life we don’t want to live, and be a person we don’t want to be? Well, there are tons of reasons actually, but one of the biggies is the fact that even though we are not that happy, we are comfortable and we are used to our life as it is now.

Things may not be so great, but we are not exactly living in sheer misery, so there really isn’t that fire in our belly to change. We think of what we would like to be different, but actually pursuing it seems a bit too scary. We would have to step a bit too far outside of our comfort zone. We get really good at rationalizing our lack of effort, and denying our true level of discontent. Moving forward may involve making really uncomfortable choices, or dealing with painful issues that we have never fully faced.

But, then life comes along and punches you in the face, and you are thrown into the pit. You have entered that scary terrain where all your fears and doubts live. This situation activates a whole lot of uncomfortable shit that has always been there, and has probably surfaced from time to time, but was never ‘full on.’ You start to realize how you really feel about everything. You start to question all your choices up until now. You start feeling things that you have worked very hard to avoid feeling.

Here is this murky pit, however, you can make a lot of powerful realizations. You will start to see why you do what you do, and why you feel the way you feel. You will make connections that you may have never made before. The first step in transforming what we don’t like is acknowledging it, and that is what you will be doing here. Simply admitting to all that is going on gets a lot of energy moving in a good direction.

As unpleasant as this is, it is hugely beneficial to you. You will gain tremendous clarity on what you actually want, and who you actually want to be. This clarity is crucial because once you have that, you feel much more confident pursuing the life you want because you know you are doing the right thing for you..it won’t feel as scary because that element of uncertainty—which may always be there to some degree and that’s normal—has been drastically reduced.

 Let Yourself Feel Your Feelings, But Consciously Work on Shifting Them

When my income went away, I experienced a load of uncomfortable feelings—in many cases, uncomfortable is actually a massive understatement. There were moments of sheer panic. I was literally living off credit cards, and that clearly was not an ideal situation. Nothing will compound your money worries like accumulating debt.

To really shift our energy, we have to let ourselves purge all the crap, so it is okay to be honest with yourself about how mad, scared, anxious or whatever else is you are feeling. It is okay to step into those feelings fully and really let them rip. Honoring where we are now is all part of the process.

But, you also have to realize that these feelings are ultimately not providing any benefit as far as improving things go. When I was experiencing my money problems, it was certainly understandable how stressed I was, but I also know that giving into those feelings all the time was not serving me one little bit. Constantly dwelling on the problem and feeling badly about it wasn’t going to solve it.

We feel very justified in, and entitled to, feeling badly about the problems we have in our life, but we have to be willing to adopt a different perspective. We have to be willing to acknowledge that we can choose to feel however we want to feel. We get to decide how much something bothers us. Now, you’ll have your moments, I surely did. I’m not talking about becoming some sort of Buddha.

What I am talking about, however, is taking control of our life by exercising greater control over our emotions and points of view. Instead of seeing my credit card use as irresponsible, for example, I developed a true sense of gratitude for having them available to me to pay rent and buy food. Once I started working again, I paid them off, so no great tragedies there.

You have a tremendous opportunity here to really create some amazing changes, in your life and within yourself, and that is a point of view that is available to anyone, regardless of what is happening.

When I lost that work, it was funny because as much as I was freaking out about my lack of money, I also realized that I didn’t like doing those assignments that much..the pay wasn’t great, and some of the copy editors were a huge pain in the butt with their nitpickiness and asking for ridiculous revisions. The only reason I kept doing it was because I felt attached to this income stream because it was my only one. The work was abundant and relatively ‘easy.’ I wasn’t loving it, but I was comfortable.

Being released from something I actually didn’t want to do anymore anyway if I was completely honest with myself, but kept doing because I was scared to cut ties of my own volition, was one of the best things that could have happened to me, and I would try to remember this in my moments of feeling badly. This is the amazing power of perspective.

In Closing…

I believe that everything unfolds as it should, and there is a beautiful order underneath what appears at times to be utter chaos and crap. Wherever you are right now is exactly where you should be. This experience is here to serve you in some way, and help you step more into who you really are and the life you really want. You have to be willing to adopt this perspective, though, to really reap the full benefits. You are being presented with an opportunity to mold things more to to your liking, to discard what is no longer working for you, and make positive changes that will impact every area of your life.

Sometimes you’ll feel shitty. You’ll wish you didn’t have to deal with it. That’s all normal and par for the course. But, do your best to keep your head up, and turn those lemons into lemonade as they say.

You can do it…just be patient and compassionate with yourself.

 Your Turn…

What did you think of this post? Did you receive any helpful insights applicable to your life right now? What key did you find the most helpful? What tips do you have for others who are working through a particularly rough time? Looking forward to your comments so we can have a nice chat!

 

Just Got Punched in the Face by Life? 3 Keys to Help You Regroup and Move Forward
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14 thoughts on “Just Got Punched in the Face by Life? 3 Keys to Help You Regroup and Move Forward

  1. I am sorry for having more of the raisin bran than you would have liked. That, is first off.

    Secondly, brilliant post. I have been prodded, cajoled, then flat out pushed into freeing but terrifyingly uncomfortable situations so many times KC. You’ve seen it first hand. We’ve both experienced it. No trick or tip really helps as much as embracing the punch and moving in a different direction. You must be with the feelings without letting the feelings dominate your life.

    I remember some guy I worked with. He was a millionaire, yet he was terrified of going broke, He lost his shirt during a market downturn with his stock investments and vowed never to do this shit again. Meanwhile, instead of letting his ample wealth multiply, while he lazed on some tropical beach, if we went with conservative investments, he busted his ass at really tough jobs, trying to make money through less than prospering channels, instead of allowing his wealth to work for him. Silly move. He was bitch slapped by fear and never chose to embrace it, instead, running from it.

    Thanks KC!

    Ryan

    1. Well, I have a nice new box of raisin bran to enjoy so I can forgive you of that unspeakable transgression of messing with my breakfast.

      I can attest to the many ‘punches’ you have received over the years and you handled them like a champ for sure. You make a great point about feeling the feelings but not letting them dominate your life. Interesting story you told…good lesson in it.

  2. Thank you Kelli! I so needed this right now! Feelings are popping up now that I have been subconsciously suppressing for most of my adult life. Things I haven’t been willing to or wanting to face. It’s been a ROUGH couple of weeks. 🙁
    I have been trying to keep everything written in this post in mind the past couple of weeks and now it has manifested physically as a blog post. Is the Universe finally cutting me some slack? Well actually – Am “I” finally cutting myself some slack? I have been working on forgiving myself for a couple of BIG mistakes I made in the past that STILL affect me to this day. Sometimes I think “Why did I do that? My life would be so different NOW had I only made a different choice.”
    But we have to remember that we were different people back then. We didn’t know then what we know now. I try to imagine me “now” hugging me “then” (hope that made sense) and telling her that everything still turned out okay and that our lives aren’t ruined. That seems to help me sometimes.
    It’s really tough when stuff like this pops up, but it seems that the more difficult the obstacle, the greater you “level up” when you come out on the other side. I think this might be one of my biggest blockages and I’m really looking forward to forgiving myself and moving forward. 🙂

    1. Hey Summer
      So happy you found the post helpful. Isn’t it so amazing that we come across the very information we need at the very time we need it? Perhaps your energy was reaching me this morning, as I woke up with no idea what I was going to write about, and this title just popped into my mind and went with it. I am very thankful I don’t need hours or lots of planning to put together a blog post or I would be in trouble! Anyway…

      That is wonderful you are aware you were unwilling to forgive yourself for something and are actively working on that forgiveness..it is very common I think to be totally unaware we are harboring that type of energy so significantly. It is so easy to look back and wish we had done things differently, but when I find myself doing that, I try to remember that at the time, that course of action made the most sense for whatever reason, and it was all part and parcel of creating my current experience, and served me in some way. I love that visualization..I think that can be very helpful.

      You are so right about that..the more ‘stuff’ that rises to the surface to be dealt with, the more room we make for all the good stuff. That is a great perspective to keep in mind when things feel particularly unpleasant. That is great that you are working on releasing something you know is so huge..lots of awesome things will start coming your way, which will only strengthen trust and faith in this whole process. Good luck!

  3. Hi Kelli,

    WOW! Do I ever resonate with your article!

    Two years ago I kicked in the face so hard I couldn’t believe it. But, like you said it didn’t come out of nowhere.

    I had a really good and thriving web development business but I made some crucial mistakes. I hired to fast and that got me into trouble. Then I joined up with a partner that ended up being a nightmare and it didn’t just happen once, it happend twice.

    In both instances we were both trying to get something from the other instead of being real partners.

    Needless to say it was a painful and costly time in my life both in finances and in terms of my short-term reputation. My poor decisions caught up to me. I was hurt, wounded and for the first time in my life unsure of myself.

    But, I decided I was going to press on and find my way. Eighteen months ago we moved from Dallas TX to Lancaster PA and it was the BEST decision I’ve made in years and we did it for all the right reasons.

    I separated myself from the toxic relationships I was allowing in my life that I allowed to hold me back. I am responsible for my choices so that goes for the bad ones and the good ones, right?

    Today, I am thriving because of the right choices I made. I’m in a better place for having been kicked in the face. I wouldn’t go back and change a thing!

    Thanks for such a great post Kelli! There is healing and hope if we choose to accept our part and make positive changes.

    Have a great weekend!

    ~ Don Purdum

    1. Hi Don
      Thanks so much for your comment and sharing your story. It sounds like a rough time but given how well is going for you now, I am sure you learned a lot from this, and released a lot of blocks that may have contributed to the first set of circumstances. That feeling of uncertainty can be particularly uncomfortable because it just intensifies every other emotion we may be experiencing during these periods of upheaval. That is great you were willing to take responsibility for these results as well as for how the future would unfold.

      I like how you said you wouldn’t change anything…isn’t it interesting to truly see the value of hard times once we have moved on from them, and how instrumental they were in shaping our current, more desirable circumstances? Great insights!

  4. I see that blocks are signs of me going into a new direction and actually good to embrace. But man I know exactly how it feels to run away from my feelings and have them slap me in the face. No fun but it’s good to see life become better after the storm! I appreciate your posts a lot!! Always here when I need it 🙂

    1. Hi Kerby
      You are right about that..as we work on changing our energy and our experience, we will run into whatever it is that will impede our progress so we can address it and shift it. I am so glad you are enjoying the blog..it is important to find sources of info that resonate with us and make us feel good. It is helpful in reconditioning our minds.

  5. Hi Kelli,

    All so true.

    First off, what you said here about “a catalyst for creating all sorts of awesomeness” that is actually, somehow, a “natural” thing that happens to a lot of people.

    Years ago, one of my first coaches, told me that before life turns around big time we often can expect some challenging things to happen first. He mentioned how it happened for him.

    For me, this year was a catalyst. My mom and my child pet both died one month apart, plus other things. All in all my life totally changed BIG time for me.

    But at the same time, some great things, positive things, are happening into my life as I’m writing these words. So yes, negative things often precede awesomeness.

    You’re right, even very elementary, boring, non-rewarding life can also be comfortable, and that is the main reason people do not take the leap for a better life.

    Thanks for your great insights.

    1. Hi Sylviane
      Thanks so much for your comment. I am sorry to hear about your losses. I can relate to what you are saying because after my father died, that served as a major catalyst for positive change in my life. Lots of ‘unwanted’ situations manifested over a period of time, but it was a purge to make room for stuff that is even better, and allowed me to step more into who I really am and want to be. I am so happy to hear that things are going well for you, and I am sending you some healing love for your losses.

  6. Hello Madam Kelli,

    Many of us really find ourselves in really tight corners of life and at the end, let life really punch us hard in the face. But how one reacts is really a matter of choice but many of course choose to settle for less at the end.

    This is one great piece and I will prefer to refer to it as an insightful post by all standards. Please do have a great day.

    1. Hi Kabie
      Thanks so much for taking the time to comment, and I am so happy to hear you liked the post. You are so right about us being able to make a choice..the one thing we can truly control in our lives is how we feel. You have a great day too!

  7. Hi Kelly

    Yet another relevant post !

    About 14 years ago my husband left me and in the same month my freelance job went too. Ouch! Happily my brilliant son sat me down with a newspaper and found the perfect part-time job for me. Self-employed for 20+ years, I didn’t WANT a part-time job, but I had to do it – and from there I made some great contacts that I now do more freelance work for. (I left the part-time job once I got back on my feet again.)

    Interesting point about being forced into a space I wouldn’t enter willingly. Feeling “dissatisfied” with various things in life I decided to join some Business Networking Groups in 2015 to meet more business-minded people than I currently mix with. My friends and family (love ’em all dearly) think I’m nuts with this online stuff. I’m very shy about meeting people face-to-face, so that’s way outside my comfort zone. AND you have to stand up and TALK about your business. SCAAARREEEE !

    Even more revolutionary – a few weeks ago I actually “sacked” a client that was causing me mega-stress. I’d just be starting his 3-monthly job again in January. What a relief not to have that to look forward to 🙂 So that’s one conscious stress-shift!

    Guess there’s hope for me after all LOL

    Joy

    1. Hi again!
      SO happy to see your comments and insights. I really love interacting with my readers through the comments. That situation definitely qualifies as a punch for sure! That is great you went and did that despite your discomfort. It isn’t easy for sure, but as we keep going, we begin to see we are capable of so much more than we know, and that we can change many things about us that we may have previously thought were set in stone. The more comfortable we can get with being uncomfortable, the more we will grow and expand and we can create things that we probably never thought we could. Good for you for getting rid of that client—many people would have a hard time doing that because it would mean turning down money. But, actions like that send strong messages to the Universe that show you have trust that something better and more suitable will come along and that you will not work with people that cause you all sorts of problems, and you will probably start to attract better clients.

      There is certainly hope for you..sounds like you are doing lots of great things already!

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