Thank you for all of your passionate work on the law of attraction (You’re very welcome). My question relates to the downward spiral. As in, when things start going bad, how does one stop the cycle of attracting more bad experiences? Oftentimes when this happens, it’s almost as if I hit rock bottom before I throw my hands up and just stop caring either way. But perhaps that’s the secret-detachment can help break this cycle. Anyway, I just wanted to get your thoughts, because as much as I want to keep expanding, I know there will be times I’m moving backwards too.
One of the key reasons people become interested in a teaching like the law of attraction is to hopefully ‘get rid’ of the stuff they don’t like in their life, to stop it from showing up again in the future. Totally understandable.
When we get our hands on this concept, we often develop a greater resistance to the unwanted; we now know we were creating it (not on purpose of course) and we want to know how to stop it.
We know we can manifest something better, and we want to ensure we are doing all we can to make that happen. When the unwanted is still there, and the wanted still isn’t, we don’t take too kindly to this state of affairs.
Sometimes we find ourselves in a situation where we seem to be manifesting a lot of unwanted things in rapid succession. Nothing seems to be going right. Our ‘efforts’ aren’t bearing fruit. All our affirmations, visualizing and what not, don’t seem to be ‘working.’
All our resistance to these situations, and wanting them to go away doesn’t seem to be helping much at all–imagine that?
So what’s a conscious creator to do? How can we break this cycle?
You Can’t Really ‘Stop’ It
Awesome question asker inquired how we can stop this cycle, and the thing is, you really can’t, at least in the way our mind is wanting to do this.
But don’t get discouraged yet…let me explain. We have to understand that in one sense, we have a great deal of control over our reality but in another sense, not one damn bit.
We can’t make anything outside of us happen; we can’t make things not happen. We can’t make people do things or not do things. We can’t manipulate reality to our mind’s specifications.
Trying to control things outside of us will be an exercise in immense frustration, and many people think the law of attraction says we can do just that. This is the primary reason people become so disillusioned with this process, and this concept.
I am sure that some of you have realized this already, or are starting to. And at first, it might seem upsetting, but it’s fine. Not all is lost. Be glad it doesn’t work this way because your mind is fucked up in all sorts of ways, plays small, has no idea what would truly make you happy,etc…
Your control lies in your energy–that is the only thing you can truly control. You get to decide how you feel about things that happen. You get to decide what you believe. You get to decide what perspectives you will hold on the things that manifest in your life. You get to decide what meaning is assigned to them. You get to decide how you feel about yourself.
And since our reality is simply a mirror of our energy, we have no choice but to manifest things that mirror back our dominant energies and beliefs.
If you believe the Universe works for you and not against you, you will manifest all sorts of divine assistance. If you believe the Universe or God always provides for your earthly needs, you will always have more than enough money or whatever else you require here.
If you believe you are worthy and deserving of all the best life has to offer, you will attract all sorts of wonderful experiences. If you believe life can be easy, life will be easy for you.
So, if you find yourself stuck in a spiral of shit, you have to go within. Don’t fight against what is happening; don’t try to force. Take any actions you think would be beneficial, but don’t ‘try’ to stop anything from happening–you can’t.
There is no one thing you can ‘do’ to guarantee a change in your circumstances or in your predominant energy.
Stop Judging Manifestations
This is a really tough one and something you will probably never master fully…God knows I haven’t. But even a little conscious effort here can go a long way.
Here’s the thing–nothing is inherently bad. That is something we decide, usually because it produces a negative emotional reaction. As soon as that happens, we have deemed this a ‘bad’ manifestation. If something makes us feel badly, it is a ‘bad’ thing that happened.
And as a fellow human, I totally get our tendency to label certain circumstances in this way. It can feel shitty to get dumped, be cheated on, struggle with money, lose your job unexpectedly, have a fight with someone, get divorced, be in physical pain, be diagnosed with a scary illness, be betrayed by someone,etc…
But this still doesn’t change the fact we always get to choose how we feel; we get to choose the perspective; we get to look at the potential positives in a situation; we get to exercise the option to look beyond the appearances of our current reality knowing none of it means what our mind probably thinks it means.
We can choose to see what we are being shown with the manifestation. We can choose to view this as something that is helping us move further along the path by alerting us to energies and beliefs that might not be serving us. We can see how this manifestation is giving us an opportunity for some sort of positive change.
Maybe your health issue is finally forcing you to put your own well-being first. Maybe getting fired is the best thing that could have happened because you loathed that job, but you never would have voluntarily walked away from it out of fear of losing money or not finding another job.
Maybe getting dumped by your boyfriend who was a gigantic loser anyway will motivate you to go after a life you never would have out of fear you would ‘evolve’ past him.
Don’t Wait for the Unbearable Pain
When energies build up and we don’t acknowledge them, the manifestations of said energies tend to grow in proportion, or the manifestations may not be so ‘big’ but our emotional reactions to them are.
All sorts of issues lend themselves to this course of events, from taking some sort of weird pride in being able to put up with all sorts of stress and crap, to this idea that so long as something is tolerable, we should just put up with it, make the best of the situation. We don’t want to rock the boat. We think what we really want is asking too much,etc…
But then at some point, something really big happens, or a number of really big things happen that force us to deal with the energies, that brings our emotions to the surface in a way we can no longer ignore; or we may experience a rather quick succession of unwanted manifestations that might not seem so dramatic or life-altering, but produce a very strong reaction in us.
Question asker noted she was often driven to a place of completely giving up because things were just so shitty, she realized she could no longer fight against it, she could no longer ‘try’ and fix things. The pain is just too great–the pain of the situation, the pain of trying to control, the pain of fighting against and wishing things were different.
We don’t have to let things get this bad before we start making changes, before we surrender our need to control, before we really start living these truths, before we start trying to effect change in our external reality.
We want to notice these feelings earlier on and do a course correction then, before they build and build to the point of explosiveness and immense pain, whether this means shifting a perspective, taking a certain action or making a certain decision.
We don’t want to operate from a space where we are being ‘forced’ into surrender because we have reached a point where we literally can no longer take it.
This is how most of us operate, and again, it doesn’t have to be that way. Yes, pain and suffering can be great tools for growth. We can mine all sorts of wisdom and insight from these experiences. It can be a great catalyst for positive change in our lives.
When we do find ourselves suffering in some way, we can choose to see its gifts and how it can benefit our journey. We will probably feel suffering in some shape or form numerous times in our lives because of how we tend to respond to certain situations in this human experience, and it can play an integral role in our transformation.
But we don’t want to invest too much in the idea we MUST suffer in order to grow, in order to effect positive change in our lives. We want to give up this idea that we must keep chugging along in life, only making a change when things get so bad we feel we have no other choice.
When we operate from this paradigm, we will just continue to manifest this pattern over and over again. If we believe that we won’t make a change until the suffering gets too great, we will manifest great suffering anytime we feel it is necessary to make said change.
The Bigger the Shitstorm, the Bigger the Opportunity
The more crap we are going through at any given moment in time, the greater the chance to release some heavy shit all in one go.
When we are in situations that seem dire, or when everything seems to be falling apart, we are often faced with two paths that are very different from one another. Existing in some sort of ‘comfort zone’ isn’t an option in these cases.
We can either keep going down a shitty path, feeling sorry for ourselves, making bad choices, giving up hope,etc..
Or we can decide to rise above it all, adopt perspectives that probably seem crazy to our mind given current appearances, make radical changes, truly decide to look beyond the illusion, truly decide to change our belief system, and commit to a new way of moving through the world because our current way of doing things certainly hasn’t been working for us, and we are finally starting to realize that.
The latter option will certainly be uncomfortable at times; you’ll still have your fears and doubts. You’ll have your moments when you buy into appearances. Your mind will continue to judge your experience in one way or another. But at a deeper level, something will have changed. There has been a permanent shift somewhere in there. Your ‘base’ energy will have changed, even if you consciously don’t always feel it.
You Can’t Move Backwards
While intellectually there is an understanding we may never ‘get rid’ of all our negative emotions or that we may not always adopt the most enlightened perspective on a given situation we are experiencing, on some level, we are expecting this, we are desperately hoping for this. I get it.
We have such an aversion to negative emotion, and we hope this process of ‘personal development’ operates in some linear fashion, where we inch closer and closer to happiness, and reduce unwanted feelings down to zero at some point.
Then we get to be happy all the time. No matter what happens, nothing bothers us. We are zen always. We release all expectations and just go with the flow. We trust all the time. We have no more limiting beliefs and are fully tapped into infinite possibility every waking moment
Would be nice but probably not going to happen. You want to let go of the idea that having human moments or manifestations YOUR MIND has deemed ‘bad’ doesn’t mean anything went wrong, you aren’t progressing or you are somehow moving backwards. Sometimes shit is going to happen.
Most of will probably never iron out all the kinks in our energy, and stuff will manifest that will mirror them back to us. Not the end of the world. Don’t view the law of attraction as some sort of tool to micromanage your reality and scrub from it anything your mind deems unpleasant.
Remember what I said earlier about choosing our feelings and responses to manifestations. Something that seems ‘bad’ to your mind may not be so ‘bad’ like getting fired from the job you hate, or being broken up with by someone who was a terrible match for you anyway, but you never would have broken up with him for fear of being alone.
Manifestations are just mirrors that show us where we have been focusing primarily, show us our dominant beliefs and feelings. They are just messengers, very helpful ones. Unwanted ones are not punishments of any kind, not there to show you what you want isn’t possible or whatever else your mind is probably deciding they are.
You can’t move backward. But you can certainly stay stuck where you are if you decide to keep buying into appearances, if you decide to use your past as a basis for what you believe about life and yourself, if you decide your manifestations must look a certain way or come through a certain channel or PERSON, if you decide you will not feel better until you are given a ‘reason’ to, if you decide you will keep trying to control and manipulate, if you decide you will keep doing things the hard way until the easy way presents itself, if you decide your mind knows best what you want and are not open to other possibilities.
What did you think? Anything resonate in particular? Have you experienced this before and how did you cope? Looking forward to your comments as always.
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