Law of Attraction: How to Stop Hating All the Stuff You Hate in Your Current Reality

Since law of attraction is all about bringing you experiences that match the current predominant feelings you are throwing out there NOW, learning how to shift our focus off of what we don’t like, and makes us feel badly, towards what we would like instead, is of utmost importance.

But as anyone who has started working consciously with their energy, and trying to develop a more LOA-friendly vibration knows, it ain’t always so easy to do that.

There is a lot of misunderstanding about what law of attraction really is, and many take this to mean we are just supposed to ignore what is happening ,and pretend our life is something it isn’t, or find a way to feel good about things that suck. This is not what you have to do, or should do.

Trying to feel all warm and fuzzy about things that actually haven’t happened yet is not something your mind is really keen to do. It will fight you every step of the way in fact, imploring you to look at what already is, and concluding you should feel badly about this, that you have every right to feel badly.

And to feel badly about things we don’t like is certainly understandable. This sense of contrast is what helps us determine what we would prefer instead. It’s normal to not like being in a bad marriage, not having enough money to meet even your most basic needs or absolutely hating your job. We are here to experience all sorts of awesomeness and have exactly what we want…we are not supposed to be miserable bastards.

But now that we have a better understanding of how our reality is created, we quickly learn that spending all our time focusing on what we don’t like, and lamenting the absence of all the things we would prefer to be experiencing, is just purely unacceptable, no two ways about it.

We have to stop doing it…we don’t have a choice IF we want to be more deliberate in creating our life experience, and move away from creating it by default, where we may let some good stuff in here and there, but largely keep creating a whole bunch of shit we don’t want.

Now I will throw in the usual disclaimer that no, you may not be able to be happy all the time. You’ll have times when you just can’t help but focus on what is and feel badly. You’ll throw yourself some pity parties, and feel very indignant at the suggestion to just choose not to feel badly. You’ll relish in feeling badly. It happens to the best of us.

But again, if you want to harness the amazing amount of power you have to create your reality, you can’t skip the step of learning how to feel better no matter what is happening now and shifting your perspective.

And here are just a few tips for helping you stop hating all the stuff you hate in your current experience.

But before we get to that, just wanted to let you know I did a podcast with the husband Ryan over at his blog, talking all things law of attraction and how to go about creating what you want, no matter where you are starting from. Check it out here. 

And back to the post….

Appreciate the Value of Contrast

This earthly experience is prime territory for creating your reality deliberately because it is so full of contrast and variety. There is no better way to get clear on what YOU truly want than to experience a bunch of stuff you don’t want, to observe things you don’t like.

Our feelings are our guide and let us know when we likey or when we don’t likey. And this feedback helps us figure out in greater detail, what we actually want.

And having figured that out, we can then get to work on flowing some energy towards it, clearing out any resistance that won’t allow us to receive it and do whatever else it is that will help us align with this manifestation.

Your brain is going to fight you on this one because what it is hearing now is that you should be happy about all the crap you are experiencing, that it is some sort of ‘blessing.’ But that is not really what I am saying.

I am not suggesting you drop to your knees in gratitude for unexpectedly getting laid off ,and being able to barely make ends meet, or your husband leaving you for a another dude.

My father dying was the catalyst for me creating everything I created in my life. The grief broke something open within me, and I got so much clarity. All that misery made me realize how much I wanted to devote myself to being happier. That doesn’t mean I’m like…god it’s great my father died of cancer, he really did me a solid.

It’s no coincidence that many of the most inspiring, amazing people have gone through all sorts of horrible things, things that would bring most people to their knees, never to rise back up.

Adversity drives our desire to create something better. Not liking something is what really motivates us to find something we do.

All the stuff you don’t like now is serving the very important purpose of helping you zero in on what you do like. All the experiences you don’t want now are helping you get more clear on the ones you do.

Remember You Created It…

This part isn’t about self-blame, and telling you to suck it up and deal with it, because you brought all this crap on yourself.

This is about empowering yourself and realizing that if all the stuff you don’t like was a result of your energy and focus, and that you created all of this, then you can go about creating all sorts of better stuff by changing your energy and focus.

When we are really in the thick of getting caught up in our present circumstances, it is easy for self-pity, woe- is- me thinking to take over. We can easily forget we drew these experiences to us and they are not just random occurrences, thrust upon us by outside forces or just ‘bad luck.’

Again, this is not about self-blame, this is just a reminder that you are in control of your reality. You created a bunch of unwanted stuff because you had no idea how you were focusing or the role you were playing. Now that you know, you make the awesome realization you can create something different, and that you can do it deliberately.

So, take a moment to think of all the things that you don’t like and how you may have allowed these experiences into your reality. The more you connect the dots between your thoughts, feelings and beliefs, and what has happened in your life up until this point, the more it will sink in how powerful you actually are, and how you don’t have to stand for it anymore because you have the power to change it.

You will get more clarity on the energetic tweaks you need to make to begin allowing in something different.

 You Don’t Have to Pretend to Like Things You Don’t Like…You Do Have to Shift Perspective Though

Like I mentioned earlier, this can be one of the misunderstandings surrounding this whole idea of ‘feeling good now’ no matter what is happening. No, you don’t have to pretend to like things you don’t like. You don’t have to find a way to feel better about the crappy beliefs you have.

If you are struggling financially, you don’t have to make yourself believe that having no money is not such a bad thing, and it doesn’t suck to be poor.

If you are single and really want a boyfriend, you don’t have to convince yourself that being single is great and who needs a relationship?

But what you do have to do is find a way to genuinely feel better now EVEN IF what you want still isn’t here yet. You have to be willing to adopt a different perspective on what is happening currently if you really want to shift your energy enough to start letting in what you would prefer.

So if you hate your job because your boss is an asshole, you don’t have to all of a sudden find a way to like him and think he is wonderful. But what you would want to do is maybe consider that deep down he is unhappy and in pain, and that is why he acts the way he does. Fostering some compassion could take the edge off your negative feelings for him.

You would also need to zero in on the positive aspects of your job, no matter how small, no matter how much your mind is insisting you put your attention on what you don’t like and feel badly about it.

Maybe you have great co-workers and you have a lot of fun. Maybe you get paid really well and you always have enough money to pay your bills, sock some away in savings and take a couple of vacations every year. Maybe you have some really great clients with whom you really enjoy working.

If you always have ‘just enough’ money to cover your bills, but really nothing left over, and you feel frustrated you can’t do a lot of the things you want to do, like move out of your crappy apartment and buy a nice house, travel more ,or just feel like you have more options, you don’t have to find a way to be content with a simpler life with just the bare necessities and settle for that. It is perfectly okay to want to be financially prosperous and use that money as a way to expand your life experience.

But what you do have to do is shift perspective and realize how freaking great it is to have enough money to meet all your needs, and not be worrying how you are going to make rent next week. Having experienced times of severe financial difficulty, I know first hand how much that royally sucks, and having ‘just enough’ isn’t so bad in comparison.

Having enough money to your needs is an accomplishment of which to be proud…but we don’t see it that way because we always want ‘more than enough.’ Again, that’s fine but don’t be blind to the fact things aren’t so terrible right now.

Nothing wrong with wanting whatever it is you want…you are entitled to create whatever life you want for yourself. But, with that being said, you have to look at the good things in your life now and appreciate the crap out of them.

Doesn’t matter how small a thing it is…anything that gets your focus off what you don’t like and creates some positive emotion, is golden. Again, your mind will fight you on this. It will think it is stupid.

Maybe things aren’t great in the money department, but you have a great husband. Maybe you aren’t thrilled with your single status, but you have an awesome job. You don’t like your job, but you are in great health.

You may have the fear that somehow feeling better now will cancel all your pending manifestations but that is not going to happen, trust me. The very act of allowing in positive emotion now will set in motion the process of bringing you all sorts of stuff that will evoke that same positive emotion.

In Closing…

I know how hard it can be to focus positively and feel better even if our present reality is not exactly to our liking. I know that fully buying into this whole LOA thing is a process, and our trust and true knowing this is how things really work is something that deepens over time.

But, as hard as it is, we can’t sidestep this part of the process. I know a lot of people get all twisted up about this idea of feeling better before there is ‘good reason’ to.

We are a strange bunch in that we love to argue for why we are miserable and can’t feel better. We insist on holding onto the stories that have created so much suffering for us. But, this is all a result of shitty programming that can be overwritten. It won’t happen overnight, but we can actually start rooting in the good stuff more quickly than we may think.

Even smaller shifts change your point of attraction so you don’t need to put pressure on yourself to get all happy when you just aren’t there. The more quickly you can move up the ladder the better obviously, and you have to be willing to let yourself make this emotional journey. You can’t insist on things outside of you changing first before you will allow yourself to feel better.

Your Turn…

What did you think of the post? Are you struggling with taking your focus off what is and putting it on what you want? Do you have any tips to offer here? Looking forward to your comments as always.