I’d love some guidance on manifesting abundance into a family where one parent doesn’t believe in the ability to attract abundance, and maintains their negative, limiting beliefs and money blocks.
Can one person manifest joy for many?
This is a great question and addresses one of our biggest barriers to more consistent energetic transformation–other people and all their ‘stuff.’
The dynamics between one couple as compared to another can be very different,as are the particulars of their situation, which would affect the specific advice I would give. So this post will present some very general insight about this issue.
And what I am talking about here can pretty much be applied to any relationship where you feel someone else’s energy is affecting you and your ability to manifest, where the other person is not doing this same ‘work’ on their vibration and what not.
This is one area that can challenge us a lot when it comes to changing our energy, but addressing it is not complicated or difficult as it probably seems to our mind; it just requires persistence on our part.
We Can’t Manifest in Each Other’s Realities
It was asked if one person can manifest for other people, but the underlying concern prompting that question is likely if WE can still manifest what WE want if others don’t believe in the power to create our reality, aren’t cooperating, if they aren’t working on their sucky energy, aligning and what have you.
So that is what I am going to address primarily.
When it comes to relationships, the other person can’t stop you from manifesting money or anything else because their energy can’t ‘mess up’ yours. What they believe about reality can’t impact what you believe.
The only reason someone wouldn’t be able to ‘benefit’ from another’s manifestation is if their energy was so out of line with yours, you could no longer remain in each other’s realities. But as for your manifestations contributing to their joy and happiness, that is not something you can guarantee.
Someone else’s vibration can only affect our reality if WE let it, if WE let their behavior, actions, feelings and beliefs shape our own, if WE let their negativity pull us down, if WE use it as an excuse for not being able to feel better.
If someone else’s choices, behaviors,etc…lead to something that affects us personally, the experience was a match to something in our energy or we couldn’t have been affected by it.
This perspective can be a really hard pill to swallow and our mind will fight us on it. But once the sting wears off, this view will feel a hell of a lot better than thinking someone else fucked up your life and you can’t do anything about it, or seething with bitterness and resentment as you work on correcting course . But I digress. Anyway…
Most of us aren’t too stable in a higher energy, especially when it comes to more emotionally-charged issues like money. So it is more likely we will get sucked down to other people’s level rather than them rising up to meet us because we ourselves can’t keep that higher vibe.
Over time this gets easier as we get more confident about our belief system and manifest more ‘proof’ these beliefs are in fact valid. You may have your moments here and there no matter how ‘advanced’ you are, but for the most part, we don’t get sucked in as much, as intensely and as for long a time.
You develop a stronger ‘defense’ against energetic assaults.
The first step to erecting this vibrational shield is…
Taking Responsibility for Our Vibration
Our mind is very accustomed to blaming outside circumstances for our lot in life, our own negativity and inability to be happy and improve our lives.
Someone does or says something and it makes us feel badly. So naturally, it is their fault. If they didn’t say or do that thing, we would be fine.
But this is not how it works. What actually happened was this person’s actions or words triggered something ALREADY there. It triggered the part of you that feels insecure, that still harbors the same negative belief or perspective this person is spouting, that is questioning your choices or path, that is lacking clarity,etc…
So while it might be a huge pain in the ass, we must take responsibility for our vibration, and we must take responsibility for our feelings, our reactions to what other people say and do. No one else is responsible for the negative reactions we have–the sadness, the anger, the hurt feelings, the bruised ego.
This is so absolutely crucial to managing your vibration, because other people, in countless scenarios, in countless ways, will challenge your energy, from your co-worker who constantly complains to your brother who is in a perpetually bad mood.
This total ownership of our emotional world is probably not something we are just going to start doing fully and completely, especially since we have likely been operating in the exact opposite fashion our entire lives.
It takes practice. It requires conscious engagement with our energy. It requires us to become more aware of our energy and getting off auto-pilot, where we just automatically react in ways that don’t serve us courtesy of very deeply ingrained patterns of behavior.
I know it can be really challenging to keep our vibration up when we are around people who aren’t making this same effort, who complain a lot, who are very fearful, talking about doom and gloom all the time and all that other good stuff. Being human, it will probably wear on you at times.
It isn’t easy, especially when it is a partner–your lives are really intertwined and your mind will make very stellar arguments for all the ways this person will get in the way of you getting what you want, how it won’t be possible, how unless they change, you might as well forget about it.
And you’ll want to believe it, but it’s not true.
So What’s Being Triggered?
So we have established our reactions to other people actually have nothing to do with them, and it’s all us baby. Now comes the fun part. What is the exact contents of that reaction? What specific fears, beliefs and thoughts are informing that emotional response? I know you are all just dying to dive into this, am I right?
To do this work in any meaningful way, to change our energy in any meaningful way, we must be aware of the make-up of our vibration.
We can’t transform what we don’t know is there; if we can’t honestly assess where we may be ‘stuck’, we will just keep perpetuating the unwanted because the energy that led to it physically manifesting is still our default.
I know this is difficult. It is much easier to blame it on other people, and point out all the ways they are mucking things up for us, all the ways they are preventing us from changing our energy, our feelings and our focus.
If only they started doing this, or stopped doing that, it would be so much easier to feel better and change our energy.
It lets us off the hook from doing this deeper examination and the mind is perfectly happy about that, no matter how much it would benefit us ultimately. Remember your mind could give two shits about what would make you happy and improve your life.
Now, is it easier to maintain a higher energy when we aren’t exposed to external elements that challenge it, like the negativity and fear of others? Hell to the yes. Absolutely. No denying that.
But the reality is, we are going to be exposed to said external elements, barring withdrawing from society completely. And one of these elements that can be most challenging, and the most difficult to avoid, are partners and other people close to us, that we see a lot.
So we have to make a choice. Do we go all in on this journey, willing to accept these challenges and face them head on, committing to changing our energy no matter what ,or retreat back to our old way of operating, blaming everything under the sun for our struggle, complaining it’s too ‘hard?’
Succeeding with conscious creation ultimately comes down to choosing to succeed with it. Not always easy but totally worth it in my opinion.
Many Different Versions of People
It is important to remember the delicious vibration that will plug us into the most awesome possibilities for our life already exists within all of us. We don’t need to build it from scratch.
Our job is peeling away all the gunk on top of it, courtesy of religion, culture, our parents, our teachers, the media, and the collective energy of people as a whole that is oozing with fear and all sorts of limited thinking.
So your partners, your parents, your siblings and anyone else you can think of, has this energy within them, and by working on your own energy, it is possible to awaken it within them.
They may not feel compelled to take this same ‘journey’ with you; they may not be interested in personal growth or becoming their ‘best’ selves, but that deeper part of you may connect with that deeper part of them.
And in this energy, they may be more open to your more empowered positive perspectives on how life works, on how to acquire money or other desired things.
They will ‘hear’ what you are saying, and even if they aren’t totally buying in themselves 100 percent, they may not fight you on it as much.
You can’t control their vibration but you can certainly influence it.
As your energy becomes more stable, you are less likely to manifest the version of them that complains, that voices their fears, that is being negative. And this is because your energy is not vibing these elements as much so they don’t need to be mirrored back to you.
It is amazing how as you begin working on your own energy, your relationships with people around you often transform dramatically, even if they are essentially the same person. Trying to understand logically how this might be happening is futile, so don’t even try. Just enjoy it.
At the very least, even if they don’t seem to change one lick, if they seem to be same person they have always been, it won’t bother you as much, so their behavior isn’t as big a deal.
The only reason we had a problem with it in the first place is the same reason we don’t like anything– because it was creating a feeling within us we didn’t like.
Again, we ultimately can’t control someone else’s energy, but in these situations, where we feel we are really being affected by it, it can’t hurt to spend some time visualizing a different version of this person, of interacting with them in a way that is more conducive to maintaining your own positive energy. This increases the likelihood of smoother interactions.
Your Turn
What did you think of the post? Anything resonating in particular? Any advice you would give in this situation? Looking forward to your comments as always.
Have a question you think would make a good blog post? Submit it here.
Also, check out my interview on the Super Power Experts podcast. The very LOA-savvy host and I have a really great conversation about manifesting. She is super-awesome and it was a lot of fun!
I absolutely believe (and finally – at least most of the time) live this. Like attracts like. There can be no exception to this.
Which is why my marriage is finally starting to have peace and heal.
I was unhappily married to my husband for many years, and I used to attend Al-Anon meetings back in those days. Looking back I was a real victim, but I was afraid to leave, and wore the “unhappy marriage” like a badge of honor.
I remember a friend said something to me along these lines:
“Why are you waiting for X number of years to be happy?” She was responding to the fact that I used to say I was giving the marriage 5 more years… If he didn’t change by then, I was out.
Something about her comment stuck. And I noticed the way she lived her life: She dealt with her family’s challenges…
And yet, she was also pretty consistently in a happy and grateful state.
Despite challenges, her family was happy, thriving and successful.
She was living how I wanted to live.
I recognized that on a major level I was in a contracted, blaming, victim-space. This energy is life depleting, and was only serving to make my situation worse.
It was perhaps 2007 and I started shifting. I learned about stillness, inner peace. Being present. The Law of Attraction.
Then life kept happening and I stopped using the LOA.
It wasn’t until last year when I was brought to my knees (again) after a major trauma in our family.
I had to learn AGAIN how to be still, how to dis-attach from my anxious and worrisome thoughts. How to notice my habitual thought patterns and not act on them. How to work with and not against the energy of the universe. This was a HUGE challenge. At the very least, I learned how not make things worse with my energy.
Will my marriage last forever? Who can say? But today I understand that I am responsible for the energy I bring to it.
Today I choose grace, ease, peace, and abundance.
I am better for it, my family is better for it, and yes, even the marriage is better for it.
Hi Jill
Thanks for your comment and sharing so much about your personal experience. There is so much wisdom and insight here. I think most of us on this ‘journey’ can relate to your experience of getting ‘off track’ with the inner ‘work’ and what not. Life just sucks us in and we default to old patterns of thinking and behavior–it is just easier to do that than try and change, even if we are unhappy! We are a funny bunch. I really like what you said about taking some sort of pride in your unhappy marriage–like it says something about you to stick out something painful, that it shows whatever we think it shows when we subject ourselves to unhappy and difficult situations. I think a lot of people do that and don’t realize it. Thanks again for sharing…I really enjoyed reading this and I think anyone having trouble in their relationship will find your words very, very helpful.
Kelli, thanks so much for your insightful post and for answering my question, I’m humbled. Wow, so much good stuff here. Some of it is as you say, a hard pill to swallow, but it makes sense now I can see it objectively. Owning your energy, your own vibration and moving away from blame and judging as the default position. I remember a quote someone told me once about when we point at someone else, remember we have four fingers pointing back at ourselves! I’m kind of new to LoA and manifesting, so yeah I had sort of decided that nothing was happening because I was having to work against so many other forces in my life, but really those forces are everywhere and happen for everyone all the time. So I’m owning it now. I’m letting the blame and judgment go, and sending loving kindness vibes towards any negativity I experience. I’m responsible for the energy I bring to everything. I loved your idea of visualising my partner experiencing his own joyful vibrations too. I’m reading and re-reading your post ’cause there’s so much goodness here! Thanks again for taking the time to respond. Liz 🙂
Hi Liz
You are so very welcome and I am so happy you found my response helpful. Thank you for asking a great question! Our mind resists this perspective of ownership because it interprets it as ‘this is all YOUR fault’ which couldn’t be further from the truth. I just know that I prefer perspectives that make me feel like I have more power and control over the course of my life than less, and I imagine most other people like that idea as well! Sounds like you are gaining a lot of insight into your inner workings and are committed to making positive transformation so just keep doing what you are doing!
Hi Kelli, slightly off topic but is it possible that studying the law of attraction could also be causing resistance and slow manifesting; due to our constant attention to it? For me it has started to feel like efforting because I am AWARE that I am doing the work to shift my energy.
Hi Lesa
Yes, yes, a thousand times yes. We overanalyze our energy, make all our desires so ‘precious’ and become overly focused on tools, techniques,etc…worry we aren’t doing them ‘enough’ or doing them ‘right.’ This is just par for the course and over time we get better at working on our energy without all this stuff getting in the way. But just remember that knowing your energy creates your reality and working on it to get more wanted and less unwanted, and focusing in ways that serve you better, is never going to be a bad thing. I think this would make a great blog post topic…stay tuned. Likely will be my next one.
Amazing! Thank you for clariying. Really looking forward to reading more into this
You are very welcome!
Hi Kelli,
I remember struggling for years in a relationship where negative energy appeared to sink me into the hole of despair at every turn. And then realizing that I could reject the negativity by building a positive wall of energy around myself. It was such a relieve to see the negative energy flow out of the house every morning, and watch the new positive energy fill us all up again.
I couldn’t believe the power of transformation that happened when he began to work away from home several days a week. I believe in many ways I manifest his absence by the vision of positive influence. It was really a huge difference in our home. And I wasn’t surprised at all when he took his negative energy and left our home. What remained was positive and soon became whole without the leaks.
I hadn’t ever read anyone else’s interpretation of this. Thank you for your insights.
Hi Jan
Thanks so much for your comment and sharing your experience. You certainly did manifest that situation…your positive energy became big enough and stable enough that anything that didn’t match it couldn’t stay in your vicinity. The key is building that energy in the face of circumstances that challenge it, and taking responsibility for our energy, both of which you seemed to do beatifully!
Hi, Kelli! What kind of visualization would you suggest if someone needs a certain amount of money for important goal, like university? If I use the letter to the Universe from Melody Fletcher, what aspects would you suggest to be visualized in the writing in order to get this experience of being in peace with your finances while in uni? Thank you!
Hi Radost
Don’t make the tools responsible for the energetic transformation and manifesting what is wanted/needed. If a tool helps you activate the energy that you think would lend itself to getting what you want, then it serves its purpose.Ultimately, the tool isn’t going to be what gets you there. Also, it’s not the money you want, it’s going to university. Focus on that and the resources that will allow you to do it will materialize, whether it is money or some other way.
Hi Kelli.
I’m in serious need of your help! I literally just showed my boyfriend my vision board I made. I am really proud of it and believe in manifestation.
He is a born again Christian who is allowing his faith to consume his life and pass judgment on others.
I believe in God. I also believe if all we put out is negativity, that’s all we’ll receive. I’ve had situations in my life to prove this.
Well, his response to my vision board was basically if I don’t give all that I ask for to God, then I’m going about the whole thing wrong and living in a wrong frame of mind.
How can I respond to this? I love him and accept his strong faith in God. I am more of a spiritual person, and he’s known this since we met a year ago. I feel like he’s being self-righteous and judgmental. This is not the first time he’s said things about my beliefs, as far as them being wrong and not in line with how God works.
I don’t want to respond harshly to him. But it’s getting a little too much for me that he can’t accept my beliefs as they are. Please help me!
Hi Megan
Without speaking with you personally I can only give very general advice. The first thing is your reaction is just showing you your own doubts about the law of attraction, conscious creation,etc… When we have total clarity, we don’t get triggered like this. Most of us dont have it 1000 percent, and the more these types of interactions bother us, the more we are lacking that clarity. You can’t rely on your boyfriend being open to your point of view as a necessary component of you feeling good about your belief system; it’s almost as if we seek ‘permission’ from others, their ‘acceptance’ even if they don’t necessarily agree. GENERALLY speaking, ‘born again’ type people can be particularly overzealous with their belief system and pushing it on others; maybe he will let up a bit but if he doesn’t, at some point you may need to reconsider the relationship. Hard to be with someone who doesn’t respect your beliefs and let you live your life as is. But the first step is taking ownership of your emotional responses to how he is acting–he actually isn’t causing it, just triggering stuff already there.
I know that this is a year old, but I’ve only just found you with this article when I did a google search. This article is going to change my life. I know that’s a lot to say, but I’ve been concerned that I can’t manifest things that will positively impact my entire family, because not everyone else is on board. I’m going to stay positive today and make a point of continuing to do so.
We are trying to sell our house and prospects aren’t great, but we do have one strong lead left and I need to focus my positivity on this person buying the house and not on the negativity of what happens if she doesn’t. And I now know that I can do this, even if my husband isn’t able to be as positive as me at this point in time.
Hi Kleo
Thanks so much for your comment and it isn’t a lot to say actually because sometimes the simplest avenues–a random blog post you found through google–gives us the very information we need at the very moment we need it. A little information can go a long way in changing our perspective or making us feel better! I am sure the house will sell at the perfect time to the perfect person and even if this lead doesn’t work out, just remember whatever bad-feeling story your mind assigns to the experience is just that… a story and not any sort of objective fact! Good luck with the sale and so glad you found the post helpful!
Hi, I just came across this blog after engine search. I’ve been working on myself and my energy. What I’m envisioning and manifesting my husband thinks is all about money and it seems to stress him out. He’s in a funk and wants says he just wants to “live in a van down by the river”. I don’t want that. I know that he has scarcity mindset. I did too, but I’m working on it. My husband used to be a dreamer and that positive one and I’m not sure if the shift in me had him questioning himself? I feel like he’s dragging me down. That is not good energy. I know that just focusing on myself is what I need to do, but it’s hard when I always envisioned these dreams together now that we are empty nesters. Any advice?
Hi Laura
Thanks so much for your comment and sharing your experience here. It can be tricky to just focus on our own energy and inner world when someone close to us–especially someone with whom we feel our life is very intertwined like a spouse–may have limitations in thinking, fears,etc…that bump up against what we are trying to do. Ultimately, the main reason it bothers us is usually because we also have that energy within and when they say or do certain things, it pushes those buttons.
Your husband’s desire for simplicity could be because he just genuinely wants to live that way, or as is the case for many people, money can be a painful subject, and we would rather just not deal with it so we say we don’t care because caring has seemed to cause us a lot of strain and suffering.
You are right that the best thing you can do is focus on yourself and it is good you have acknowledged that this is something that makes it difficult for you. Just ignoring our various forms of resistance really doesn’t get us far.
Ultimately, he really doesn’t need to be on board with anything you are trying to create as we really can’t create in other people’s realities, and someone else’s ‘vibe’ can only impact us if we let it, if we are also somehow a match to that energy and co-create in various ways. Of course it is most ideal when the other person is on board, when we don’t have these external forces pushing our buttons. But if that isn’t the reality we are contending with at the moment,we just have to take ownership of how we are responding to that other person’s energy, actions,etc…knowing they aren’t causing it. And while that can certainly be easier said than done, it is the most direct way to feel better in the moment, which is all we really want anyway.
Hope this helps a bit!