This post topic is courtesy of a recent blog post suggestion from someone expressing this fear in relation to manifesting a relationship. But this is a fear that can exist no matter the manifestation, so I will tackle it from a more general perspective that can be applied to anything.
The LOA Isn’t Something that Works or Doesn’t
There are so many misconceptions about this teaching, and the one that probably screws with our conscious creation ‘efforts’ the most is viewing the law of attraction as a ‘tool.’ This is certainly not the first time I have addressed this issue, and it certainly won’t be the last since it is often plays some sort of role in many of our manifesting woes.
It is not something that ‘works’ or doesn’t ‘work.’ All the tools that are mentioned in conjunction with this teaching–affirmations, visualization, vision boards– are meant to help shift energy and focus, to build momentum behind a vibration that will serve us much better. They can be very very helpful in this regard, but in and of themselves, they have no power. No ‘tool’ can ever succeed in changing your reality unless you are energetically aligned with these changes.
It is a Universal law that has ALWAYS been operating in your life. We just didn’t know our energy was creating our reality so we weren’t very conscious in our focus, we didn’t stop to really question our beliefs, we didn’t take the time to examine the connection between how we think and feel and what our external reality looked like.
Now that we know there is this connection, we can be more deliberate and conscious. We can work on changing our belief system; we can start focusing more on what is wanted, and less on what isn’t. We can harness the power of our energy to make life easier, to get things with less effort, to create things we probably didn’t think were possible before.
I hope this clarification provides great relief for anyone who thinks that the law of attraction just can’t ‘work’ for them for whatever reason, that worries they must be doing something ‘wrong,’ that thinks they must not have found the perfect ‘tool’ yet. NONE of these things are true.
This teaching doesn’t function on the level of ‘doing’ and ‘action.’ It functions on the level of ‘being’ and our ‘being’ is something that is totally under our control because we get to choose what we believe, what we think, what we feel, how we respond to the events in our life, how we view ourselves. Every single person has the capability to make these choices. Nothing outside of you can keep you from doing that.
The Energy Came First
According to the law of attraction, energy is the level of ‘cause’ and the physical world is the level of ‘effect.’ What happens there is the result of our dominant beliefs, thoughts, feelings and focus.
Intuitively this makes sense to us, something about it feels right. In looking back on our own lives, we may see this connection more clearly, and we buy in.
But as for really, truly understanding and believing this, it can take some time. We still have the habit of looking at our past experiences, our current circumstances as ‘proof’ of our limiting beliefs, as validation for our various fears. In theory we can just flip that switch, but in reality, this is a habit that is not broken so easily.
The submission this post is based demonstrated this tendency big-time. And it was clear as day she was still basing her beliefs on what had happened in her past, what was happening now that was working against her; all of this was justification for her fears.
She is certainly not alone in doing this. This is how the mind works–it forms conclusions and makes decisions based on what it is observing . Our ‘default’ energy is a shitty stew of all sorts of limiting beliefs and fears, and this informs said conclusions and decisions, which just makes us attract more of the same, which makes us keep believing these things, and so goes the vicious cycle.
As a fellow human with a mind that functions just like the rest of you, I get this is challenging. We have so much ‘proof’ our fears are real and our limiting beliefs are true. To believe things for which we have no evidence for in our own life is not an easy thing to do, and adopting these new beliefs is something that happens gradually.
The only way to get the ball rolling on this however, is having a real, true, willingness to look beyond your current reality and past experience, and no longer use this as a basis for your belief system.
You have to really be willing to buy into the idea the energy came first and then the manifestations; and in doing this, your experiences up until now will not have such an intense grip on you, they will not affect you as strongly, they will not used as a benchmark to determine what is possible moving forward.
You have to be willing to buy into the idea that they really, truly don’t matter.
Many people claim they are doing this, but they really aren’t and that’s okay if you haven’t been. You just need to own up to it and correct course.
Some people outright know they are doing this, fight for their shitty beliefs, fight for their negative feelings about their life now, and refuse to change their beliefs and feelings until they are given some sort of reason to justify doing so. If you fall into the latter camp, that’s okay, but with this mentality, a teaching like the LOA will be of no use to you because you will have a very hard time creating a different life by way of changing energy.
With an unwillingness to look beyond ‘what is’ and attempt to feel at least a little bit better, the energetic shifts required of you just can’t happen.
Given our conditioning to live outside in, to let our feelings be determined by what is happening, I know this isn’t easy. But this difficulty is not an excuse to give up trying.
It comes down to a choice. We either choose to keep believing things that feel badly, pointing to the circumstances of our life as ‘proof’ these beliefs are true, or we choose to make these inner transformations, look beyond current circumstances, trusting as we make these internal changes, we will see external ones as well.
Addressing the Energy That’s There Now
So, if the law of attraction is not a ‘tool’ but a Universal law that states our inner world creates our outer, just thinking some positive thoughts, saying affirmations and the like, may not be sufficient to attract whatever it is you want to attract.
Since you have ALWAYS been creating your reality by way of your dominant energy, there is a good chance you’ll have to examine your current vibe to see why you may have manifested the unwanted in your life, why things look the way they look now, why certain things in your past may have happened.
Sure, there is talk about changing limiting beliefs, but this part of the process often requires a bit more of our attention than we may be led to believe when presented with the theory of the attraction process from most sources.
With most explanations of the teaching, it is easy to think our only problem belief-wise is that we don’t believe what we want is possible and we just need to believe it is. This is certainly a biggie for sure, but there can be lots of other energetic ‘debris’ that can also pose a problem.
Our mind may have certain negative associations with the things we want, and this may lead to issues like self-sabotage or not taking actions that would be really beneficial. We may not think we deserve what we want, that we are worthy of receiving it.
Our fear of not getting what we want may be so strong, it creates a huge amount of resistance to our current reality, and we are manifesting from a really screwy space. This fear creates a huge wall around us.
How deep you have to explore really depends on a how much ‘stuff’ you have under the surface. It depends on how deeply you want to transform. Do you want to maximize your spiritual, mental, emotional and physical well-being or do you just want your ‘stuff?’
When answered with real honesty, some of you might say the latter…that’s fine, it really is. Just keep in mind with the former, the ‘stuff’ comes anyway. 😉 I speak from personal experience on that one.
Do you want to change your energy just enough to let some version of what you want in, to see more surface changes, or do you want to do really deep work, where you are a magnet for the miraculous, where life becomes effortless, where you manifest the creme de la creme of all the things we are capable of receiving?
The latter is not better than the former. Not everyone wants to take it that deep and that’s fine. Everyone has different values, a different vision for their life. Everyone has a different definition of happiness.
If your energy changes, if your belief system changes, if your focus changes, your reality WILL change. It has no choice.
How this will happen, when certain things will happen, the channels through which the manifestations will be delivered, what the path looks like at every turn…these are things we can’t know, as much as we would like to. We have to learn to be okay with that.
But this transformation usually hinges on a willingness to dive into the muck, to be honest about how we feel now, what we believe now. Just trying to get ‘positive’ from wherever we may be in the moment usually doesn’t have the intended effect.
Trying to force beliefs that we really don’t believe because we think we ‘must’ believe these things to get what we want won’t work because we actually don’t believe these things to be true, and we can’t ‘hide’ that from the Universe. It doesn’t matter what you want to believe, it matters what you actually believe.
Clearing out this stuff will make all the ‘work’ on your ‘positivity’ much more effective. These efforts will bear much more fruit for you because this fledgling energy will no longer be ‘competing’ for space in your vibration with the crap that has been there for years, that is way more powerful and established.
And like I have always said, doing this will get you what you really want pretty much immediately, which is to feel better. That sounds pretty good, right?
I know we don’t want to engage with this part of the process. I know this is one reason why we like the idea of the law of attraction being a ‘tool.’ If we just figure out how to ‘use’ it ‘right’, we can get all the stuff that we think would make our crappy feelings go away, and problem solved.
Feeling Better Overall
I know most of us were drawn to this teaching because there was a specific manifestation we had in mind, there was a specific area we wanted to improve. And that’s fine. It’s okay to want a relationship, make more money, land a better job or improve your health.
But given where our energy may be when we first happen upon this teaching, all this focus on one specific area right out the gate can be problematic in a variety of ways, namely we are usually trying to allow this thing in from a space of really feeling negative about our life in its current state. We are still really focused on what we don’t like, what we don’t want, what we hope won’t happen in the future, on outcomes our mind has judged as ‘bad.’
Combine this with the fact we are operating with a lot of misconceptions about the law of attraction, namely viewing it as something that we need to make ‘work’ for us, and we have quite the recipe for trouble.
Don’t discount the benefit of just working on feeling better overall, especially if you are in space where there is lots of fear and negativity, where you feel like you are really swimming upstream in terms of changing your energy.
This isn’t to say you shouldn’t focus on your energy in specific areas, work on beliefs that are specific to the particular manifestation you have in mind. There is certainly value in that as we need to practice thinking about the things we want in a more positive way; we want to uncover the resistance we may have around these subjects.
But this work in these more specific areas will be a lot easier if you work on just feeling better overall in whatever ways you think will be most beneficial to you. This creates a better energetic foundation from which to tackle your energy as it relates to more specific aspects of your life, like relationships or finances.
When you are feeling better overall, you will find it easier to detach from these manifestations because you will no longer be so adamant these things happening are the only way for you to start feeling better. You will see very solid evidence this isn’t the case, and it is much easier to enter that space of receiving when we have a greater sense of peace about where we are in the current moment, when we aren’t fighting against it constantly.
The catch here though is having that aforementioned willingness to let yourself feel better even if you don’t like how things look right now. You will concede that it is possible to improve your emotional state without having to first remove every element of your life you don’t like now, without having to first get what you want.
Your Turn
What did you think? Anything resonate in particular? Any advice for changing energy when you’re in a really negative space? Looking forward to your comments as always.
Have a question you think would make a good blog post? Submit it here.
Happy to see you noting this. Many folks learning about the LOA are stuck in the right-wrong, duality nature of things, versus knowing that your energy is just your energy. Meaning you shift it, and things change. But you can’t have a wrong energy, or, you cannot do manifesting wrong. The Universe knows not judgment; just energy.
Ryan
PS….Is that a link in? You SEO conscious blogger, you.
Hi Ryan
It is really important to have that understanding because it helps relieve anxiety that you could be doing something ‘wrong’ and that is why nothing is changing.
As a writer I have recently found that turning that “shitty stew” of life experiences and conclusions into creative output helps me compartmentalize it, so I can move forward in a positive way. I think anyone can do this with journaling, poetry, painting, music, etc.
I wouldn’t say it’s made me an optimist about the day-to-day things in my life; in fact, being overly positive about those things has seen me get sucker punched again and again. But–and this is a big but–I do now have a firm belief that I will move beyond my current situation soon. Instead of griping about my present irritations, I am turning them into fiction and “letting the obstacle become the way,” in the tradition of stoics like Marcus Aurelius.
Hi Patricia
It sounds like you have found a great way to deal with the feelings. Having some sort of ‘outlet’ for our energy is good. It is easy to feel things building up, which creates anxiety. Anything we do that helps us feel better or manage our stress is very beneficial no matter what we are trying to change in our life.
Hi Kellie!
I SO love your words of wisdom! You mentioned the importance of just feeling better – which I think is probably the best “tool” – and the actual way for ideas, solutions, and/or peace to come our way. What really works for me, is to just get off the subject that I feel charged or negative about, and do something I enjoy or will help to stave off the resistance for a while. Even if that means just taking a walk, watching a funny show, or taking a nap! Sometimes all we need is just a bit of space – so that we can work on questioning our beliefs from a place of peace.
Thank you!
Hi Letty
Thanks so much for your comment and you are so right how that overall better feeling state opens the door for so many beneficial things. Doing anything that makes us feel better will work, no matter what it is. I am a fan of the nap and funny TV myself.
This post is so timely. Am having a pretty lousy time still trying to secure a fulltime day job so can work on business. Seeing the rest of my family financially secure with good jobs and pensions in place etc. makes me feel so scared and sometimes petrified. I have glimpses of feeling better but because the future is unknown I/we often assume the worst and it’s so hard to change that. When I bring myself into the present that fear dissipates. Why is this so hard? Your post reflects exactly how I am feeling now and I am sure lots of your other followers.
Hi Jane
Thanks for your comment and I am glad you found the post helpful at this moment in time. Using the word ‘petrified’ suggests some pretty strong fears and emotions, and isn’t surprising since the situation involves money, one of our greatest teachers. Looking at that more closely and seeing why you feel that way will be important if you want to move into a more positive frame of mind more consistently–don’t worry about being there all the time.
I know it isn’t a satisfying answer to our mind but when it comes to our beliefs, we can’t do anything but choose the ones that make us feel better. There is no logical argument we can make to choose some and reject others; there is no ‘proof’ we can turn to, at least the kind to which we are accustomed when evaluating the validity of something.
Great post as usual. I am wondering what your thoughts are on “Revising” as per Neville Goddard and have you used this technique before to help create your reality? I ask because I am not sure if this would help me: despite feeling the energy I tend to get this overwhelming feeling of doubt when I am focusing on what I want…it makes me feel like a fraud; which I know is my mind trying to derail me…it is so intense though. I’d be interested in your comments.
Hi Catherine
Thanks for your comment and I am glad you enjoyed the post. I have never used that technique but am familiar with it. When it comes to the things we ‘do’ to shift energy, focus positively,etc…anything that makes us feel better is a good tool or technique because that is the purpose of using them. The only thing I would say about this technique is depending on what you are ‘revising’ just be careful not to get too attached to whatever specific scenario you are creating or to some specific result that you may be hoping for. Another benefit to using tools like visualization and what not is they are great for triggering resistance so it is important you see what is coming up for you because that is showing you what you are really feeling and believing. If you just try to push it aside, this energy will remain dominant and you’ll continue trying to change your reality from a space of trying to make these feelings go away, from a space of trying to ‘disprove’ certain beliefs,etc…and this will make it much harder.
Kelly cooper, I’m so thankful for your replies. I need you to elaborate more on ; “ig you just try to push it aside this energy will remain dormant, and you’ll continue to try to change your……. “
Kelli I’m so happy I found your blog- and that you live what you speak. I am doing well using my energy for goodness, to stay present, and being in harmony with the law of attraction. My years and years of being anxious and negative are truly being stripped away, and in its wake is a peace and joy from within that I never knew. To me that is wealth beyond measure. Thank you for this post.
Hi Jill
I am so happy too! Thank you so much for your comment and sharing your experience. It can take awhile to see what we are really after goes beyond specific things…this doesn’t mean not to want them or work on bringing them into our lives, but when the well-being is the priority over the ‘thing’ we can change our energy in a way that can be more challenging when we are doing it solely to get something. And the best part is…the ‘things’ come anyway and we can enjoy them much more because we are already feeling pretty good and we weren’t looking to them to make us feel better. That is my experience anyway.
Hello Kelli.
I have a question for you.
Let’s say I’m going for an interview, presentation or making an important call or going skydiving, whatever you do that brings out the nervous feeling in you.
Now if I think about it, or visualize the interview should I focus only on the good things? I’m coming into the room, I’m feeling great, I have a great conversation I know somewhat what to say and visualize myself making a good impression.
Or, should I visualize and allow that nervous feeling, should I visualize coming into the room nervous but managing to keep my cool but therefore be more ready for the feeling that will arise?
Or is this just going to intensify the feeling when it comes?
Would you focus on the good things and just roll with the anxiety when it comes? Because visualizing it might make it more likely to happen and less ready for the thing?
Hi Vik
The purpose of visualization is to evoke the feelings that feel like what you want so there is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ way to do it, and I wouldn’t worry about getting too caught up in the details of the visualization. It is normal to feel nervous about a job interview for example, so it’s okay to make peace with the fact you might feel that way when you walk in. The nervousness isn’t as much of a problem as resisting the nervousness and worrying it’s going to mess things up for us. The feelings themselves without the judgment, resistance, criticism,etc…aren’t as much of a problem as we tend to think they are. Visualizing is a particularly good tool for uncovering resistance because it tends to come up very quickly and clearly when we start picturing the different things we want, the different outcomes we are hoping for. So pay attention to how you are feeling when you do the visualizing and when it feels uncomfortable, dig a bit to see what exactly is causing that feeling–fear it won’t work out, some sort of limiting belief,etc… Just keep in mind the bigger picture as well–what you want always goes beyond the specific job, person,etc…and this is just one possible channel and if it doesn’t work out for whatever reason, it’s not as big of a deal as our mind usually makes it out to be.
I think I heard about this way to ‘shift up’ in one of your podcasts, but wherever I learned it, I find it very useful I write affirmations daily because I learn where I am resisting, as well as setting a daily direction for myself. For me, the daily habit of choosing better feeling thought seems to be eroding the lifetime habit of unconsciously choosing somewhat depressed and pessimistic thoughts The affirmation “I am willing to try ‘this new belief’ (fill in the blank) because this old belief (fill in the blank) has not been helpful or useful.” There is a lot less resistance and tension around just being willing to try vs. trying to believe or feel something that is not yet authentic. I am feeling much better these days, and even though LOA still interests me, feeling good matters more. I am still going through all of your podcasts and loving them!
Hi Jacklyn
Thanks for your comment and your suggestion. It is a really good one. When we frame the change as a willingness, an openness to this new way of thinking or feeling, the mind can’t really fight with that. I am fan of affirmations, and also just saying a word that you want to feel–like peace,etc…–without any sort of statement about it. That is another way to get into a feeling without as much ‘back talk’ from your mind. The feelings over the manifestations is always the way to go, and the stuff comes anyway because that energy makes us a match to it. And from this space, we enjoy the things a lot more!
Hello Kelly,
I enjoy your blog very much, whenever I read your posts I feel like I am not alone with my issues and the whole process. It feels like it is all normal. This post decribes perfectly where I am now.
In the past weeks I got more into the topic of LoA and thought I finally understood the core of it. That we need to stop asking, because whatever we want is already done on a vibrational level. Every ‘tool’, visualization for example, is just to sharpen our belief, to switch our focus. This concept gave me clarity first, and a calm feeling. I enjoyed that feeling, I felt so close to my desire, it felt like “oh, of course it is all mine already, because this is how the universe works”. But I could not keep that clarity, I could not keep that feeling.
I accepted, that my desires are made on a vibrational level, but now I am afraid, I will never become a vibrational match to it. It is no longer an issue about what is done, now the issue is my resistance. I am afraid, I never can allow myself my desires, because I am too human with too much split energy I can not clean up. Along my progress it feels now like I am moving backwards. I try to get more generel about it or to appreciate what is, but I know I only do this, because I am still aware that my desire is not here yet, which makes me not being a vibrational match to it. It is like running in a circle and I just want to get back to that inner peace, that relief I felt before. Back to that knowing, that everything is fine, and done, when time and circumstances did not matter.
The last time I reached that clarity I wrote a letter to myself I can read whenever I need it and it helped a little bit.
Maybe I just need to hear, that this will pass. I only need to surrender a little bit longer. That this again is just part of the process, some inner work that needs to be done. I hope that this running inside a circle is so normal while getting used to new energies and nothing has gone wrong anyway. Any thought that brings relief must be true.
I am glad that you and a lot of other people share their experiences and give that needed empathy. Whenever I see other people struggle with issues, I just want to hug them and make them believe, that everything is fine, always. Reading your blog is a way to tell this to myself. 🙂
Hey Niki
Thanks for your comment and I am glad you found the post helpful. You are SO right…you are not alone in feeling the way you do and with the ‘struggles’ that come from the difference between how this teaching views the world and ourselves and how the mind typically does. The fear you feel is normal and it is important to examine it…the tendency is to push it aside and hold onto our ‘intellectual’ understanding of the process, but this understanding is not quite accepted on a deeper level of feeling. And I am not sure what specific manifestation you are talking about, but paring it down to what you are really after–certain types of feelings–will help you detach a bit and find ways to bring that energy into your life now. This doesn’t mean giving up on the ‘thing’ it just means reducing that sense of need, which will make you feel better instantly.
Hi Kelly,
I would just say one thing – This is one of the MOST honest and eyeopening article I have ever come across. The way you wrote it, I was not able to take my eyes off a single word. Simple sentences had deep meanings. I finally got ALL-IN-ONE post on LOA. waiting for more articles from you.
Thank You!
I recently found your work and am loving it! Thank you so much for your straightforward and inspiring articles. However, I feel a little confusion on what we are suppose to do when we ‘examine the fear negative beliefs’? Simply be a witness? What’s steps should be taken in order to move past our blocks instead of pushing them aside without focusing on them too much and getting stuck in the opposing energy of that which we are trying to manifest?
Hi Michelle
Thanks for your comment and I am so happy you are finding my work helpful. There really is no ‘process’ or set of ‘steps’ that can be used to change our beliefs. We probably just won’t adopt beliefs fully that we have no evidence for in our own life, so the first thing is a mere willingness to question them, to change our mind. If there is even a small part of us that believes we create our reality by way of energy and that all these wonderful ways of looking at the world just might be true, we see that is enough ‘reason’ to stop believing them. And this opens us up to manifestations–sometimes small at first–that validate the new way of looking at things, that ‘disprove’ our current beliefs. And as this evidence gathers, we start to believe these things not because we think we must, not based on theory, but because our own personal experience is showing them to be true. The big key to all of this is releasing our mind’s insistence on formulating our beliefs based on what is happening or has already happened in our life and using that as ‘proof’ to keep believing things that feel badly.
Yes, I imagine deep rooted negativity could yield bad results from the Law of Attraction. Since it is supposed to attract the worldview that you create in your mind. However, since you are “aware” of this fact, then I would say you are on the path to correcting this. When you place awareness on something, you begin altering your view of that thing. Over time, you negativity gradually goes away 🙂
Hi Greta
Thanks so much for your comment and wise words. Awareness is my favorite ‘tool’ and essentially all we need to start changing our points of view and beliefs, as a willingness to reject them in favor of ones that serve us better is really the key to changing our vibe.