A teaching like the law of attraction can certainly spark hope for a better life. You realize that maybe, just maybe, it is possible for things to change, that you are not doomed to your current existence which you hate in various ways. You are exposed to a new paradigm for how the world works, you are presented with a different estimation of who you are and that which you are capable of achieving.
Emotionally, there is some stuff brewing; intuitively you feel there is something to this idea. Knowing your life experience up until now has no bearing on what is possible moving forward brings a great sense of relief.
But naturally, there is that part of you that still isn’t sure. You just can’t possibly see how you’ll get from A to B. Your life experience has done quite a bang up job of supporting your current beliefs, and your mind isn’t so keen to just let go in favor of new ones.
So here are some thoughts on keeping the faith, and committing to this work on your energy even in the face of doubt and uncertainty.
You Can’t See the Whole Path, Only the Next Step
In most cases, a manifestation will not drop into your lap in its full form out of nowhere though it certainly sometimes can so don’t rule it out. The main thing I’m getting at is: don’t look at the law of attraction as some sort of ‘magic.’ Anyway…
Your business may not become a success literally overnight; you might not book yourself solid with clients within the first three days of offering your consulting or coaching services.
You might not meet your future husband the day after you envision who he is. You might not get crystal clear clarity on exactly what you want out of life or what your ‘purpose’ is in the span of a weekend.
You might not land your dream job within a week of deciding you hate your current one. You may not fall ass backwards into a pile of money after saying a few affirmations.
Things usually unfold over time and one thing leads to another. Manifestations appear that serve as ‘breadcrumbs.’ They contribute to the various pieces of the puzzle in some way. They provide a sense of contrast, helping you hone in more specifically on what you want and like.
The combinations of circumstances that can lead you to where you want to be are literally infinite and your mind simply isn’t capable of calculating them. The Universe can mobilize resources in ways we can’t begin to fathom.
That you can’t see how something would unfold is in no way, shape or form, an indicator it isn’t possible.
So, be okay with not knowing exactly how it will all play out. I know that makes us uncomfortable because that means ceding control and trying to do it all ourselves. But the Universe can handle it much better than we can–it just needs us to hold up our end of the bargain energetically.
Right now, as hard as it may be, don’t put so much focus on that end result, waiting for that specific thing to happen. Keep an eye towards that next step. Follow your intuition. Do whatever feels good, even if it doesn’t seem to be related to the specific manifestation as you never know the role it may play.
For example, you get an urge to take that yoga class you have always been meaning to take, and in your state of relaxed bliss, you have a major epiphany about your life that provides crystal clear clarity on your next step; or you meet someone who works in your field and sets you up for an awesome interview at your dream job.
And when taking that next step, do your best to be open to what it is showing you–there is always something to be learned from any decision we make, any path we take so nothing is ever wasted, nor can you make a mistake. Don’t get attached to any specific result or outcome from whatever it is you are doing.
What You Want Isn’t What You Really Want Anyway
Ah, your mind just loves this perspective doesn’t it? But it’s really true. Whatever it is you want really isn’t what you want anyway, so no need to get so attached to making it happen or worrying it won’t happen. Problem solved…beautiful. Only if it were that easy!
Your mind has translated energies into a specific desire–it needs something on which to focus. The desire for love and connection translates as wanting a boyfriend. The desire for security and freedom translates to wanting more money. The desire to lead others translates to wanting that promotion.
This isn’t to say you shouldn’t want specific things–I think us humans have a core group of wants that are certainly okay to desire and realizing these manifestations can certainly enhance our lives. Things like relationships, money and meaningful work.
I sense the Universe knows this and is gung ho to deliver all these things, provided we cultivate an energy that lends itself to their arrival.
So don’t worry, not telling you to give up on these things; if you stop focusing on them with a laser-like intensity, that doesn’t mean they won’t come. What you want is written all over your vibration.
But when you can remember that these things are merely a representation of a deeper want, it is easy to relax a bit as you work on manifesting them. You realize they are not the end-all-be-all to your happiness. That sense of need–which often precedes anything we want–can dissipate somewhat.
When you realize you are after something deeper, like particular feelings, you can get to work on seeing how you can cultivate those feelings now, even if a specific manifestation has not made its way in.
And in doing this, you get to start feeling better now. That is all you really want at the end of the day…burn this idea into your brain.
And another aspect of this idea is the fact that what our mind wants may not be the best representation of what we really want. We may have some screwy energies driving our desires now. The things we may want to manifest really aren’t serving our highest good and happiness; they are serving our ego, and we know the good old ego can be kind of fucked up in a variety of ways.
When our mind dictates our wants and vision for our life, we are usually selling ourselves really short; we are usually going to be way off the mark when it comes to cultivating our best life and versions of ourselves. It is important to realize that your mind is trying to manifest from a space of minimizing pain, rather than maximizing happiness and well-being.
For example, you may be really attached to gaining a management position at your job because you feel really inferior and being able to boss people around will make you feel better, or you feel like this is where you ‘should’ be by now at this point in your career, a career you may not even like very much.
Anytime we try to manifest from a space of some sort of lack, inferiority, not feeling good enough,etc…we’re probably not going to feel better even if we happen to manifest this thing because the ‘thing’ was never the answer to feeling better. It was working through our shit.
You probably won’t be able to help focusing on certain things–that’s fine. It can be good to have something on which to focus your energy, something to help you uncover any forms of resistance or your true agendas.
But do your best to be open to what your manifestations have to look like. Be willing to concede, even just a little bit, that your mind doesn’t know best what would make you happiest, and that its particular wants may not be the ticket.
When you focus more on cultivating the energies you are really after, they become more dominant in your vibration, and things will start to show up that mirror them back to you. This is when the really cool stuff begins to happen. You manifest things that are super-awesome that you never even knew you wanted.
You manifest a version of what you want that is so much grander and better than what your mind wanted. You may realize that certain things you want aren’t what you even want at all, and you now have a clearer idea of what you are really looking to create.
Throw Some Energy Behind Your Desires but Don’t Go Overboard
This advice really applies to anyone but it is particularly relevant in this case.
Manifesting often takes on a very action-oriented approach–we are obsessed with the tools, techniques and what we can ‘do.’ We anxiously await the inspired action because we are still in ‘doing’ mode, control mode.
And all of this factors into the process for sure. The tools and techniques give us something to sink our teeth into; they are excellent for shifting energies and helping us focus in a way that serves us. Inspired action certainly plays a role in the realization of many a manifestation.
That conscious, consistent engagement with our energy is a non-negotiable. I would recommend spending at least a few minutes each day doing something, whether it is meditating, affirming, making a gratitude list…whatever floats your boat.
There are shifts that need to be made there and they probably aren’t just going to happen by merely telling ourselves we are going to think and feel differently–though that alone can get things moving in the right direction without a doubt.
But all this ‘work’ can work against us, and this is particularly true when your current reality seems to be really far from your desired one. The absence of what you want begins to loom large, and you may feel even worse about your circumstances and prospects than you did when you didn’t think you had a chance in hell of making any of these things happen.
You start feeling a lot of pressure to take control of your vibration and force ‘positivity’ into a space where there isn’t quite enough room for it to take hold yet.
We certainly have control over our reality but that control lies in managing our energy, not being able to force outside circumstances to mold in any particular way on our exact timetable.
Prioritize your well-being and make time to do anything that brings any sort of relief, anything that makes you feel better. These sorts of activities are just as integral to the manifestation process as are ‘official’ tools like affirmations, vision boards and the like.
In fact, they can be even more effective in my opinion because they are helping you accomplish the goal that underlies all your goals–to feel better. The better you feel, the ‘cleaner’ your energy, and the easier it is for a variety of beneficial manifestations to work their way in.
The bottom line to remember is, no matter where you are now, you are not destined to stay there. You get to have what you want, but just remember that what that ultimately is may look a bit, or a lot, different than what you may be envisioning now. The path to getting there may look really different than the one your mind is trying its hardest to map out.
Ultimately you want to be happier, and that is never off the table, no matter what. What that means to you personally is constantly unfolding and as long as you work on your energy, you will be led to that ultimate goal.
Your Turn…
What did you think of the post? Anything resonate in particular? Do you have any tips for dealing with this issue? Looking forward to your comments as always.
Also, the teleclass series Beyond Tools, Techniques and Positive Thinking: Uncovering the True Roots of Manifesting Success is still open for registration. Upon signing up, you will be given access to any previous recordings you missed. You can sign up here
Good post, Kelli. Thank you. 🙂 Sometimes I feel really discouraged but it helps to read things like this. This paragraph stood out to me:
“The bottom line to remember is, no matter where you are now, you are not destined to stay there. You get to have what you want, but just remember that what that ultimately is may look a bit, or a lot, different than what you may be envisioning now. The path to getting there may look really different than the one your mind is trying its hardest to map out.”
It helps to know I won’t always be stuck.
Hi Moonsparkle
Thanks for your comment and I am so glad you enjoyed the post. You certainly won’t always be stuck.
Hi Kelly! I liked this article. It is well fairly explained.
I was inspired to be patient by the story of “Tenerif Airport Disaster”.
Since this “time-space reality” is much more complicated than it appears, finding alignment will sometimes last longer than our estimation, BUT our desire manifests in perfect shape and time, and the universe will compensate our trust and patience.
Thank you so much.
Hi Mohammad
Thanks for your comment and so glad you enjoyed it. I totally agree that things are a bit more complex than we can ever really understand.
Hi Kelli,
i wanted to thank you for your podcasts & blog. i resonate with your way deeply, however…i’m at a point right now that the faith in my ability to create my life the way i want it feels almost nonexistant now. i’ve been able to see “breadcrumbs” and to manifest a few things, and one very huge thing, but now i’m in such a deep well right now emotionally, i’m afraid that either i will undo all the positive i’ve been able to generate, or that this is all just delusional. i’m in so much pain that i feel paralyzed. have you ever felt like this? it was is as if everything i have intended has disappeared into thin air…was it even really there at all?
Hi Joleen
I can appreciate your situation now because I have been there before–more than once actually. The thing that helped me the most was letting myself be in that space and surrendering to it. I didn’t put pressure on myself to ‘get happy.’ I didn’t worry that all bad things were going to start manifesting because I was being ‘negative.’ These sorts of times present TREMENDOUS opportunity for growth and energetic shifts on a much larger scale. While suffering isn’t a necessary part of growth, most of us manifest it in various ways and there is a lot to be learned in those times if we can take this perspective on it. Working through these times always produced by biggest insights and energetic shifts and while they sucked at the time, I am grateful for them.
Hi Kelli,
As always, great post that just resonates with exactly the energies I’m wrestling with. I want to emphasize your point that even the most smallest attention to a better feeling makes a difference. The more I do this work, the quicker the manifestations reflect the inner change. And after awhile, I don’t pay much attention to the manifestations – I’m just happy I’m feeling good and joyful!!
Thank you SO much.
Hi Letty
Thanks for your comment and so glad you enjoyed the post. I loved your comment so much because that sort of perspective can be life-changing and totally alter our approach to manifesting and how we feel as we move along the path. We really are after the feelings first and foremost and like you have seen, being happy now certainly doesn’t stop the good stuff from coming but it is just a nice bonus.
Hi Kelli
Thank you for your post! I love it!
The biggest thing I have been doing is allowing myself to do what ever feels good to me and not push or become impatient. Inspired action and going with the flow was hard to fathom but I feel vibrationally in a much better place. I don’t allow myself to worry about money or other people I just do whatever I feel in the moment and let go quickly when I get mad by dealing with things as they come. I feel like I have levelled up a few times. My best advice is do not give up on your dreams or having it all because it will come when you are ready. Loving yourself is about treating yourself kindly and that helps life run a bit smoother. Patience can be hard to live with but worth it in the end. It’s not magic and you definitely have to get the ball rolling in the direction you want to go. But mostly be kind to yourself.
Hi Viv
Thanks so much for your comment and I am so happy you enjoyed it. You are right that this way of operating seems strange at first but if we can work through that discomfort and give it a real try, we quickly come to see the validity of it. Thanks for your awesome advice…I wholeheartedly agree with every piece of it, especially loving yourself.
Wonderful post Kelli, exactly the topic I’m working on the most lately! So happy you decided to this in writing and not as a podcast, it’s so much easier to summarize important parts so I can remember later 🙂
Hey there
Thanks for your comment and so glad you enjoyed it.
As always a pleasure to read. I’m in that middle ground at the moment, where by I do get frustrated with working so hard on an energy level but sometimes you want more than breadcrumbs. This really helped to just get back into alignment & all will happen in its & place.
Thank you kelli. And love to ryan also
Hi Zaira
Thanks so much for your comment and I am glad you enjoyed the post. Your feelings are understandable–we want what we want and we want it now!
Hi Kelli,
I felt compelled to share a bit of where I am in my journey right now, so here we go!
I work at a before/after school program. I really like all the pieces of my job separately; I have great coworkers, I like working with kids (most days, lol), I really like the company I work for, I think the pay is pretty great (for being in childcare), the workload isn’t ridiculously unmanageable and we get a really good benefits package. For some reason though, when all the separate pieces are combined, I don’t really like my job. I think it has something to do with freedom; we’ve got a lot of very strict regulations. Also, I work a split shift (which is the biggest piece that sucks) and that is really hard because it soaks up a lot of my time. Some moments I feel like the Universe is telling me I should just quit, but I know I shouldn’t do that. I know you say if something isn’t easy it shouldn’t be done, but this is tough in a growth-oriented way and that makes me want to stick it out until I find something else. Which brings me to my next point….
I can see all the breadcrumbs. I know the Universe is taking care of me. I know I am making space for something really good just around the corner. I am just getting impatient! Perhaps it’s the lack of “doing” that is making me crazy. I know that I want to write and be out in nature and teach kids and get dirty, but I am not doing any of this because I am so wiped out from almost 10 hour days that all I want to do is sit at home, watch TV and not have any demands placed upon me. I had a blog, but it kind of died. I was writing poems and a novel, but haven’t touched them in months. I haven’t been on any nature walks since school started. I only get on job boards when I feel anxious, but I am not applying to anything that isn’t *exactly* what I want. I guess, despite all my breadcrumbing, I just feel stuck. I feel like I’m just constantly missing out on signals. Like, where is the giant neon light-up sign pointing me where I need to go, or the crazy blow-up dancing dude? I feel like they might be just there, but because of overthinking, I am like, “No way is it that easy,” and the Universe just sighs and puts its face in its hands when I waltz right on by. I am trying to come from a place of trust and relaxation which is really hard for me right now. I ask for a sign and then I see a car license plate that is “7777” and then almost get hit by another car because of a stupid driving mistake that I made. What are you trying to tell me, Universe?! (“Don’t get cocky, kid.” lol)
I’m committed to sticking this through because it has worked so well for me with little things, but being in the middle of this kind of a process sure is darn hard.
Hi MJ
Thanks for sharing your experience. I think a lot of people can relate to the various things you have discussed here. It is a big challenge for us not to have all the answers or not be able to ‘figure it out’ so that we can guarantee we are making the right choices or interpreting the signs ‘correctly.’ In my experience, the times I felt really stuck were the times when there was something I really wasn’t addressing that was kind of looming in the background, there was something I was in denial about and I needed to come to grips with it or I was doing something I really didn’t want to be doing but felt I had to for whatever reason.
Taking this journey 1 step at a time just makes sense. Even if we have a vision we can best move forward in orderly fashion 1 simple, focused, mindful step at a time. Great wisdom as always.
What if what you’re trying to manifest is something like a roof over your head or a job? I’m in a situation now where I am struggling to let go of control because I have to move out of my place and find something new in a month. I have no money saved and a job that doesn’t pay enough. I understand being patient and following your bliss but I’m going to be homeless if I don’t figure this out ASAP.
Hi Caitlin
I appreciate your situation and I know it can be hard to implement this sort of advice when you are on some sort of ‘deadline.’ But here’s the thing…there is no ‘figuring out’ when it comes to creating from this space. There is no action that can guarantee the desired result. One thing that you will need to do to really feel better in this moment is let yourself process the variety of fears you have now–this helps ‘purge’ them from the system. The key struggle we have with applying these teachings is looking beyond our current reality and silencing our mind’s justifications for our worry and current perspective borne of the current appearances. No matter what you want, you want a feeling–if you had no negative reaction to what may transpire, manifesting these things wouldn’t matter. Do your best to step into that feeling now but that will probably be easier once you let yourself feel the worry and fear that is likely dominant now.
Yes that’s exactly what I ended up doing and it was very helpful. Almost immediately, a solution presented itself. Now I feel silly for ever worrying…
Worrying always seems so silly in hindsight until we manifest something new to worry about and our mind makes a very good case for it!
Hi Kelli,
I’m very new to this and find your blog so helpful.
My question is how to get back on track when you doubt if you even know what you want?
I was trying to shift my energy with a specific person. I thought I was doing well but seeing him in real life, positivity vanished. I got tense, withdrew and dissapointed in myself. There’s a block I need to figure out. I then saw a picture of him with another woman and felt like my fears were manifesting.
These moments were small but threw me. Logically I know it’s negative thinking but the ickyness is still there. The worry and doubt has crept in. I’m trying to focus on positivity but it now feels like a lie.
I’m asking if I know what I want and should I stop, but then questioning if this is the same withdrawing resistance. I’ve now read you shouldn’t get specific about a person which also doesn’t feel great. I’m not sure where to go from here.
Have you felt this sort of confusion?
Thank you.
Hi Hannah
You must be open to WHY we manifest what we do–it may not be what our mind WANTS it to represent. You can’t ‘use’ the LOA to make other people do or feel things we want them to. By trying to manifest a specific person you are trying to control the HOW Of your manifestation. It sounds like this person is causing a lot of ‘stuff’ for you emotionally–perhaps his purpose in your life is to show you that sort of stuff. Just be open and do the work on yourself–that is the only thing you can do anyway.