Law of Attraction: Questions about Expectations, Feeling Good and Letting Go

So, today’s post comes to you courtesy of some law of attraction questions asked by one of my readers…let’s dive in shall we?

Hi Kelli, I just read your book “What it really means to ‘act as if” and I thought it was simply amazing. You explained so many things in a way I could understand and I thank you for it! [You’re quite welcome]

There’s a question that I’d like to ask that has been confusing me since I leaned about the LOA. 

Let’s say I want to attract a $1000 (for example) I will spend some time on visualizing it and feeling all the feelings I could get from the money (paying bills, freedom, boost in creating process) 

This next step is what baffles me, when I know it will eventually show up, somehow some way. I am also expecting this money.

But if I start to expect it, and know that it’s coming, will I actually repel the money? Since expecting will attract more expecting (meaning I don’t have it yet). 

Or is it as simple as visualizing/feeling, then letting go and KNOWING that it will show up (somehow someway) not even worry about it and go about my day being happy?

Thank you so much, I’m very glad I found your book 🙂

Jose

Like I have said many times before, the law of attraction is a relatively simple concept. But once we start applying the teachings, things can get complicated really quickly.

We discover a big difference between the theory of manifesting, and how the process of alignment typically plays out in the real world, where we are contending with deeply ingrained beliefs, and patterns of behavior, that really aren’t conducive to allowing better stuff to show up for us.

We have amassed a ton of experiences that ‘prove’ these beliefs to be true, and while we now know the energy came first ,and then the manifestations, just dismissing all of that typically won’t happen right away.

There are lots of misconceptions that can really screw with us, like being told if we simply focus enough, what we want has to come, but that’s not really true.

We over think things way too much. Our mind sees a teaching like this as a way to finally manipulate reality to our liking once and for all. What our mind wants to create often isn’t the best representation of what we truly want, but good luck trying to convince it of that.

I really liked the questions asked here because it allows me to touch on some of the issues that plague people most in one spot and draw some connections between them. Essentially this question is asking for a detailed run down of the whole manifesting process, and there are a million tangents that I could go off on, and I can’t address them all.

Clearly, I will be making mention of things that I have mentioned before, but we could all use the reminders am I right? Of course I am.

Expectations Aren’t Always So Great

I am sure I am not the first person to use that play on words, but it is really clever and I like it. Anyway, Jose was wondering if expecting something to come was actually getting in the way of manifesting it.

By expecting something, aren’t we acknowledging it isn’t here, and then won’t we continue to exist in a reality where this thing doesn’t exist? Will we forever be in a state of expecting but never receiving?

And then the panic ensues…okay, maybe not panic, but we start to worry a lot about this and that we will mess it all up. Remember what I said about our mind over-thinking it all way too much.

Here’s the thing. Expectation in and of itself is not a bad thing. Expecting good things to come to us is part and parcel of the manifesting process. We need to believe we are capable of receiving stuff we want, that would make us happy. We have to expect shit will go our way.

So, it’s okay to feel good in anticipation of something’s arrival, of knowing your reality will soon start reflecting all that great energy you are cultivating.

What screws us up is constantly noticing the absence of something, feeling badly about it, and then worrying it’s not going to come;or trying to force it to come through a certain channel and/or getting attached to any situation that manifests itself as a possible means of delivering this thing.

We are expecting it, but are not relaxed about how it can come to us. We are constantly ruminating on how we think it will come, and since our minds are ill-equipped to calculate infinite possibility, we tend to come up with a very limited set of options. And our mind does a bang-up job of convincing us that if it can’t conceive of a possibility, it must not exist.

And depending on what our mind comes up with, we either get attached to certain channels, and likely try to force things through them, or conclude it’s not likely to happen, and we get all sad.

So, in the example of money he used. Let’s say you are struggling financially and wanting to attract more money. You learn all about the LOA and how you are this awesome co-creator with the Universe.

You realize all the beliefs and fears you have around money, which is just one form of energy, are kind of silly, and you’re willing to embody an energy of abundance in whatever way works best for you, knowing reality will catch up eventually.

You are fully expecting that money to come, and it feels great. You are leaving the deets to the good old U, and holding up your end of the bargain by working on your vibration. You’re doing your best to maintain that vibe and remove the ‘charge’ you may feel when you think about your financial issues.

You keep an eye out for manifestations that show your abundance vibe is gaining steam, like finding money on the street, a friend treating you to lunch or someone giving you something for free. You know you’re on the right track, and celebrate the victories and your progress.

Is It Really Just as Easy as Letting Go and Just Feeling Good?

The short answer is yes, yes, yes, a million times yes. But remember what I said in the beginning of the post about the theory of manifesting and how it plays out in the real world not totally matching up?

The paradigm we have been existing in has ingrained us with all sorts of beliefs that just won’t allow us to dismiss the illusion in which we have been existing, this world where we are separate from spirit, where we feel powerless, and all that other yuck.

In this illusion, we have to work hard to get what we want; we have to prove our worthiness and deserving; some people are just lucky and others not so much;you usually can’t get what you want;life is all about struggle;the best most of us can shoot for is surviving, not thriving, with some scraps of happiness thrown in here and there; we are only deserving of something is we suffered in some way to get it; it is all up to us to make everything happen and we’re all on our own.

I could go on and on but I think you know what I’m getting at.

So, because of all of this, 99.99 percent of us won’t just be able to put our desires out into the Universe, totally surrender to the magic, act only when inspired, follow our joy, and nestle ourselves in the loving bosom of infinite possibility.

We are going to be contending with beliefs that make us think we can’t have it. We will obsess about ‘how’ it will come. We will get attached to channels, then suffer immense disappointment when things don’t go like we expected them to.

We are usually going to have to do some inner work to change our energy, and probably cop to a variety of feelings that we may have been doing our best to deny. The only way to truly dissipate energies no longer serving us is to actually let ourselves feel them so they can make their way out of our system. This way, we don’t have to keep manifesting things that are showing us they are still there, needing to be dealt with.

We are going to think about what we want, and that in and of itself is not the problem. In fact, we will probably have to practice focusing positively on this desire because we likely haven’t done that very much, and we need to build some ‘energetic’ momentum.

We will have to allow ourselves to think about this thing so we can discover any ‘stuff’ we may have around it that needs to be cleaned up. Visualization is very good for helping us do this.

The problem is when we think about this thing and then worry about whether or not we will get it, when we feel very attached and aren’t open to something else showing up instead that might be a better representation of what we want, which is ultimately a certain type of energy or feeling…I wish I was keeping track of how many times I have dropped that little nugget of wisdom around here because it would be interesting to see the tally.

Letting go can be challenging but the more we work on our energy consciously, and concede we don’t know best, we will manifest all sorts of things that will give us some solid ‘evidence’ that the Universe is more than capable of hooking us up; the more we will come to realize that we are truly after something so much bigger than the variety of desires our mind has cooked up, and that we can work on cultivating those energies now in some way.

You don’t want money, perhaps you want the energies of freedom, security and peace of mind. You don’t want a boyfriend, you want the energies of love, appreciation and feeling supported. You don’t want that specific job, you want the energies of feeling on purpose and fulfillment, of enjoying your work.

It gets easier to detach from things when we truly start to realize that they aren’t what we actually want—this doesn’t mean we won’t get them, it simply means we are able to stop creating from a space of resisting our current reality.

And when we create from that space, these things come much more quickly, and with less pain and suffering. We let in things that match the energies—often things that are much better than what we want, or things that we never would have thought we wanted, until we got them.

You don’t just get any old boyfriend that eases your loneliness, you get an awesome one. You just don’t get enough money to pay your bills, you manifest an awesome job opportunity that triples your salary.

As for the whole feeling good thing, yes, it is a very powerful tool in your arsenal; it is also the ultimate end result you are seeking so why put it on hold until you manifest certain things that will end up not making you as happy as you imagined, or not happy at all, because it actually wasn’t what you really wanted?

The issue is, we want to work on genuinely feeling good, not trying to layer on some lukewarm good feelings over the crappy stuff. We don’t have to be in a state of manic joy every moment, nor are we tasked with completely eliminating ‘negative’ emotion.

The key is allowing our feelings when they come while doing our best to hold a space for the love, trust, openness, surrender and all those other energies that are more ‘manifesting-friendly.’ Sometimes that won’t happen and it’s cool…don’t beat yourself up.

But while making allowances for our shitty feelings, we do have to commit to consciously directing our energy in a way that serves us as best we can. And this usually boils down to allowing ourselves to feel better, and optimistic , without insisting on something having to happen first to allow us to feel that way.

We have to trust this way of operating will serve us before we have ‘proof.’ That is all it really boils down to.

Specifics Are Not Your Friend

The example of 1,000 dollars brought to mind the little wisdom nugget of specifics not really being your friend.

Clarity about what we want is important for activating energies, etc… and naturally this creates a tendency to get very specific with desires, and this is often to our detriment.

We make the mistake of thinking the power to create our experience lies in controlling our outer reality, but that is not true, and it’s a good thing because that desire comes from our mind, and we would often be short-changing ourselves, or actually creating stuff we don’t want, but think we do.

Our control lies in directing our energy in a way that we will primarily be transmitting energies that represent what we want, and loads of great stuff can show up to mirror them back to us, and we’ll be happy.

The more loosey-goosey we can be with desires, the easier it is to manifest. Remember, we are after energies and feelings. We don’t need to be constantly thinking about what we want, lest our desire may get lost in the cosmic shuffle.

Don’t worry, the Universe knows what you want. It won’t deliver you a great friend and stop at there instead of a boyfriend…you’ll get the relationship. You’ll get the financial prosperity, you just won’t attract free meals and other mini- forms of abundance for the rest of your days.

Going back to the 1,000 dollars. Let’s say that sum is what you need to cover your bills next month. Do you constantly visualize counting out 1,000 dollars? If it gives you an energetic boner, go for it. But most of us aren’t going to get all warm and fuzzy thinking about actual money itself…it’s not very exciting and inspiring.

What you really want is to be taken care of, to be able to meet your needs, to feel secure in having enough money to run your life. Anything that is necessary to bring a particular manifestation in will be wrangled up by the Universe. You don’t need to focus specifically on the money to make sure you get the money.

If manifesting money is part and parcel of delivering those delicious energies of feeling safe, secure, abundant and what have you, it will come as part of the package.

We almost can’t help setting our sights on specifics…our mind will translate that energy into some sort of particular desire and that’s okay. We can let ourselves use that in our visualizations and what not, to activate energies.

We just need to do our best to detach and remember what we are truly after, and allow those energies to manifest in the best way possible for us.

Wrapping Up

This whole ‘oneness’ with the Universe and stepping into our power, is definitely a new way of operating; and it’s understandable that we just don’t dive in full-bore, and aren’t able to just totally adopt a whole new belief system and way of moving through the world, no matter how much we feel a resonance, how much we feel like we have rediscovered something we have always known.

It’s a process but that doesn’t mean things can’t start happening relatively quickly…our point of attraction starts changing the moment our energy changes, and we just have to do our best to stay on track.

We want to let go of our notions about how things have to happen, and being so insistent on things turning out exactly as our mind wants. A little bit of trust and a willingness to follow our feelings, will take us a long way.

Your Turn…

What did you think of the post? Anything resonate in particular? Anything advice you would give? Looking forward to your comments as always.

Also, had a new post up at Huffington Post….For Those of You Fretting About Finding Your Purpose. I haven’t mentioned the last few posts I have done there over the last month or so, so there are some other ones there to check out on my author page.