I’ve noticed in the last few months that certain substances are affecting me differently than they used to like alcohol, marijuana, and caffeine. I used to really enjoy a joint or a cocktail now and then but recently they make my heart pound really hard like I’m working out or something. I’ve also noticed I need less sleep and have more energy than I ever remember having before. I’ve released a lot of resistance this year and I’m wondering if these things are affecting me differently because I’m at a higher vibration. When we release a lot of resistance, is it normal for things to change like this? Thanks so much!
Inner Drives the Outer In All Ways
Everything we do externally is motivated by something internally, no exceptions. Our actions and impulses don’t just materialize out of thin air. There is always a reason for what we are doing–we are being motivated by some sort of thought, feeling, belief, fear, desire,etc… So as we change inside, what human us does on the outside will naturally change. Our inner world is the true level of ‘cause’ and it all starts here, ALL OF IT.
This can be very disconcerting as we break out of old patterns, lose interest in things we may have liked doing before and the like. Even when we want to release a particular behavior, our mind can still cling to it. It doesn’t like change, even when that change is positive; it likes what is familiar, even if it isn’t ideal.
This is just one of the million ways our mind is kind of fucked up, and why you really don’t want to let it dominate your personal growth journey, why we want to stop imposing it on the world of heart, emotion and spirit. It doesn’t understand it, it never will. It has very different goals, a very different agenda, and it will sabotage us at every turn.
Our ego is very attached to what it sees as ‘you.’ We may have a very fixed idea of what we are like, what we are not like, what we like, what we don’t like, what we value and what we don’t value. You may have even spent quite a bit of time deliberately cultivating a certain identity, a certain personality, wanting to be seen in a certain way. Some of this may hold up over time, but a lot of it will change. When our sense of ‘identity’ is challenged, it can really knock us off balance.
Ryan said something very profound to me recently regarding this journey…you never know who you are in the process of becoming. It’s kind of a big mystery. In one way, it’s exciting, but in another, it’s kind of scary. Not just because of the ‘unknown’ element, but again, because our ego is very attached to whoever you are now for a number of reasons.
The chief reason is it being familiar with this version of you and being extremely adept at ‘handling’ it. It doesn’t like this whole ‘wild card’ element that comes with this journey, especially a journey it knows is threatening its hold on you, that is making you see it in a different light, a very unflattering one at that.
If you are doing things that ultimately feel right, that make you feel better, just go with it. You’re definitely not on the ‘wrong’ track proceeding in this fashion. Just do your best to not let your mind pull you back into ways of being that are no longer resonant.
Moving On From Pain Minimization
Caitlin specifically referenced experiencing drugs and alcohol differently. Drinking and drugs can be super-fun, let’s be honest, and when used in a ‘healthy’ way, I personally don’t see a problem with these things.
But for even the most casual, social user, it can’t be denied that at the very core, we like using these substances because it alters our consciousness in some way, it brings us into a different reality, it helps us ‘escape’ this one. Again, really not a problem inherently, and can be fun.
Once you start feeling better, this need to ‘escape’ this current reality may wane a bit, even for someone who just does these things infrequently or with that more aforementioned ‘healthy’ energy. And like she experienced, it may not only be lack of interest, but you might even have negative experiences with these things now.
The exact reasons are very personal and there is no one across-the-board meaning, but I imagine a big part of it is a manifestation showing these things are just not in alignment with you anymore. It is also possible we didn’t enjoy doing things as much as we thought, and that dissonance is more obvious now.
Maybe this will change and she will indulge in these things in an enjoyable way or maybe she loses interest altogether…either way, it’s fine.
The inner motivation to do these things is no longer there, and they are not serving the same purpose they once did.
Many of our ‘habits’ are meant to minimize pain, and once you move from that to maximizing well-being, we usually don’t feel the same pull.
For example, if you really like shopping and it’s one of the ways you boost your energy and fill the ‘void,’ you may find that as you begin to experience a higher vibe, and stop looking to the outside so much to make the inside better, the urge to engage in ‘retail therapy’ dies down.
You finally start to understand on that emotional level, not just intellectual, that another pair of jeans or the latest iPhone , while perfectly fine to want, are not going to give you the emotional payoff you are hoping for. You know that the key to inner peace isn’t redecorating your living room yet again.
You may still want certain material possessions, but the value you place on them changes completely. Our mind tends to think in extremes and what not, and there is this idea that you either care about material possessions a lot or if you become ‘spiritual’ or whatever, you won’t care at all, with nothing in between.
Considering we have to live in this world everyday, caring about the contents of that experience makes sense. I’ll take a mansion over a mud hut any day. Extremes in any direction are never good. Unless someone is feeling really drawn to some super-ascetic lifestyle in a genuine way, going too far in that direction can be just as damaging as rampant materialism and consumerism.
You can still care about the material, physical world and want to enjoy it, but again, how you view these things and the role they play in your life will likely change significantly.
Primarily, you may feel drawn to things that you truly need or are particularly beneficial to your life in a more meaningful way, like the high-end juicer that will help take your nutrition game to the next level, or a gadget or service that will save you precious time, your most valuable commodity.
You may still enjoy nice things and care about your home looking nice or being dressed nicely or whatever, but again, the value changes and you see these things more for what they really are–things that we can enjoy, things that are nice to have,things that can make our human experience more convenient, comfortable or pleasurable, but not the end-all-be-all of your existence, not any indicator of your worth as a person.
You realize you don’t ‘need’ any of these things, and I always like that feeling. You will enjoy all the stuff you want to manifest a FUCK TON more if you are able to drop the ‘need.’
Anyway…bit off track there. So yeah..the energy we are looking to ‘suppress’ with the behaviors and actions is no longer there, so the behavior no longer seems necessary. It is no longer rewarding because it is no longer treating any sort of ‘pain.’ We aren’t getting the same ‘buzz.’ that warm, fuzzy feeling of the pain being temporarily ‘blanketed’ because the pain really isn’t there anymore.
This isn’t to say you will no longer take enjoyment in anything outside of you, but you may find that things you did enjoy before are not as enjoyable. A lot of things you want now may not be what you continue to want as you change, because again, the ‘wanting’ was stemming from a desire to quell some sort of negative feeling, to squash some sense of inadequacy or not feeling good enough.
For example, you may desire certain material possessions right now because at the root, you think getting them will lend itself to some particular image you are trying to project to others. But as you become more focused inward and realize that is where you really need to focus on to be truly happier, you no longer worry so much about what other people think of you, so acquiring these items no longer seems important.
Inner Energy is Always Available
Have you ever been having a bad day, you get good news and all of a sudden, you are feeling great, all crap forgotten? Feeling depressed and then the guy who you were waiting on to call finally does, and all of a sudden, you have a pep in your step, excitedly getting ready to meet him? Feeling exhausted, but then your husband calls, surprising you with a really cool outing, and you are wide-awake, ready to have some fun?
The change in how we feel is instant; where did the energy come from? It was always there. We just usually aren’t tuned into it because like in these examples, it kind of gets obscured by the crap, and we only feel better when something outside happens to warrant this change in our emotional tune.
So much of our physical lethargy is really emotional at its root. We feel overwhelmed by life; we don’t take care of our emotional health. Sometimes our emotional crap is so heavy it feels like it has an actual physical weight to it. And this is all draining as shit.
As you begin to lighten your load energetically, you will feel physically better in many ways. You may need to sleep less, especially if you used sleep as an escape from your feelings and just life in general.
In the past, I would nap much more frequently and for quite long periods too…looking back, much of that was fueled by a low-grade depression. When I truly started feeling better in a deeper way than I had ever before, the napping became much less frequent, even when I hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before. These days, I tend not to nap like that unless I am truly, physically tired.
General vibe management is great for harnessing this inner energy, for keeping the ‘emotional’ ick in check so it doesn’t bury you and drain your life force. So it is probably a good idea to start doing all the shit you say you want to to feel better overall, but for some self-sabotaging reason, still aren’t doing, whether it’s taking that yoga class, not saying yes to every damn thing being asked of you or making more time for your hobbies.
What did you think of the post? Have you changed in any surprising ways since you started working on your energy? Looking forward to your comments as always.
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