I was wondering if you could answer my question about building positive energies. When it comes to shifting our beliefs, do we need to be active in building that positive energy or will the positive energy build on its own? I find that “trying” to be happy or doing things to make myself happy feels kind of forced. I’m just not sure how to build up positive energy without really doing anything and just “waiting” to feel better.

This question was very interesting to me for many reasons, namely how the language we use so clearly shows us the mentality with which we approach inner work, and how when it comes to talking energy, conscious creation, law of attraction and the like, it isn’t quite the ‘right’ way to phrase things because it is just such a different world.

We are so action-oriented, and naturally, we carry that over into our work with energy, and we often worry about what to ‘do’ when there is not a damn thing to be ‘done.’

Conversely, interpretations of the teaching can lead to a sort of passive stance where we think we just need to sit back while the Universe fixes our life for us.

The type of ‘action’ this person is talking about could encompass a number of things–some helpful, some not so much. This answer will obviously go extremely general. Given I focus on the law of attraction, I have a pretty good sense of the mentality driving the question and the types of actions being referenced.  And that is what I will be addressing more so than what you should ‘do or not ‘do’. This shouldn’t really surprise anyone.

When we really focus on what matters, all the confusion about action clears up. The ‘being’ paves the way for the ‘doing.’ Essentially, if something feels good, you’ll do it, and if it doesn’t, you won’t. End of story. But we need to clear out some clutter first to benefit from such a simple system of evaluating our lives and actions.

The reason I am going into all this is because I know how our mind works, and it is probably hoping the answer will be very oriented towards action–what to do and not do, what is ‘good’ and ‘bad’, what is ‘inspired’ or ‘uninspired’ and so on and so forth.

But there is no one size fits all approach to something like this as far as what human ‘you’ does in the way of personal growth ‘work.’ That is very individual and unique. 

Essentially we are still in ‘crack the code’ mode, and looking for any piece of the puzzle that helps us ‘figure out’ how this all ‘works’ so we are guaranteed to get what we want, because oh God if we don’t get what we want, what will we do????

Help me Law of Attraction…you’re my only hope!

So, let’s dig in…

There Will Be Some ‘Effort’

Unless you are a total masochist, you probably don’t really want to be contending with the inner world you have constructed for yourself thus far. Once you ventured onto your personal growth path, I am sure you were more than ready and willing–at least the most surface, conscious part of you– to do some emotional and mental house cleaning. The pain is what draws us in naturally, and we are all about finding ways to heal it keep it from bothering us anymore.

If switching gears like this belief-wise, emotion-wise were truly that simple (it kind of is…but we’re just too human I guess) you would have done it the second you decided you wanted to be a happier person and  healthier mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and/or physically.

You wouldn’t struggle for years trying to change your habits, thought patterns and yourself on the whole.

You probably wouldn’t even be contending with the vast majority of what you are contending with in the first place.

So there will be some ‘effort’ in the sense you have all this ‘ick’ that some part of you has decided it really wants to hold onto for some crazy–but NOT crazy to said ‘part’–reason or another, and releasing that grip will take some conscious effort in the sense you’ll need to pay some conscious attention to all of this. It will require your ‘participation.’

You are you, and you have to get up everyday and live with your mind and your body, so no escaping that. Even though you may recognize this whole world is just one big illusion in the sense of all our faulty thinking about reality, there is a part of you that thinks it is very real, is very invested and cares about what your human experience looks like.

So, no’ ‘waiting’ around to feel better won’t work in the way it is probably being expressed here. You are going to end up ‘doing’ a variety of things…the problem is we usually aren’t doing things that are helpful. 

You will need to consciously make choices that support your well-being.

You need to see what you should add and subtract from your life, and THEN follow through. We somehow always seem to miss that final step of actually putting any of these insights into practical action; and then are dumbfounded when nothing is changing and we don’t seem to be feeling better in the slightest. Gee…

You and only you will decide how you respond emotionally and mentally to the things that happen to you in the outside world, and the story you layer on top of the experience.

You and only you will decide if you will keep deferring to your mind to run the show, or you finally start acting from a space of faith and trust, and being the person.

And MOST importantly, you and only you can decide if you are going to make your happiness and well-being the goal, the reward in and of itself (which leads to the stuff anyway), or you are just trying to cultivate it to get something you don’t have. It is nothing more than a means to an end, just another ‘tool’ to help change the outside so you can feel better inside.

The second path is a very understandable trap to fall into, especially for the conscious creator, but you really want to do your best to get out of it. It sucks…big time.

It’s okay you don’t like your life now; it’s okay to want whatever it is you want, but when all this work is just about getting ‘stuff’ you don’t have so you can take away the pain…it just creates more pain because you are putting so much effort into trying to control things you ultimately can’t control, you’re not dealing with your shit, you feel like you are ‘failing’ at conscious creation, and that dashed hope makes you feel even worse than you did when you just figured you would never get the thing anyway.

And boy does it slow stuff down!

So, yes, you have to ‘do’ some stuff. The real issue here is…

What You’re Doing and ‘Why’

If you are trying to force happiness because you are told that is what you are supposed to do to get what you want,  by doing a bunch of tools and techniques that were suggested to you in a book, blog or whatever, and they are doing nothing for you energetically and emotionally, that happiness won’t come because it comes from inside and nothing inside is changing. Again, real head-scratcher, I know…

If that is the type of shit you are wondering if you should ‘do’ or not…no, don’t do that stuff. Waste of time.

‘Trying’ to be happy and not succeeding–ESPECIALLY when it is just a means to some other end– creates a very specifically unpleasant type of tension that guess what…just makes you feel more unhappy. Go figure.

There are all sorts of things we can ‘do’ externally to facilitate internal change. It’s good to experiment with different tools, techniques, modalities, philosophies, but because we are so accustomed to action equaling a result–at least eventually–we tend to lose sight of what will really lead to the change.

But, one sobering realization about this journey is having no choice but to fall into these traps so we can see it’s not the way, and then we are willing to do things differently, at least a little 😉. A journey of growth and discovery can’t exist if we already know everything and know perfectly how to deal with all our shit I imagine. 

What WILL lead to this change … a simple willingness and intention on our part ultimately. It’s completely internal, completely of the mind, and you don’t need to make use of anything outside you to facilitate this. And if there are any outside resources that would help us do this in a real, impactful way, they’ll get on our radar somehow. They tend to find you, not the other way around.

And for most of us, this intention will accompany some emotional ‘cleansing’ but it’s not so bad. Really, it isn’t. Stop trying to avoid your negative feelings…they are just feelings and if you just let yourself feel them in a real way, they’ll leave you be. They were just trying to alert you to stuff you needed to see and mission accomplished.

But we really don’t want to think about all that, and instead prefer to think we just haven’t found the ‘right’ thing yet, and we keep looking to the outside to fix the inside and nothing seems to be ‘working.

We are miserable and think we are destined to stay that way–we tried meditating, aligning our chakras, saying affirmations, journaling our gratitude, scripting, contacting our spirit guides and nothing.

I’m not trying to discourage exploration of these different subjects, but I always like to stress it is nothing outside of you because it feels really badly to think it is.

It feels badly to think you just haven’t found the ‘right’ tool yet…what if you never do?

It feels badly to think that you are just inherently ‘unfixable’ somehow…then what?

It feels badly to think your personal growth and happiness is being delayed because you can’t afford high-end coaching. 

It feels badly to think the key to healing your body is that juice fast in Costa Rica you don’t have the money for.

It’s not a matter of whether these thing ‘work or don’t ‘work.’ When we come at resources from an aligned space, these external aids can be tremendously helpful. I have engaged with many over the years that have had a profound impact on me from coaches to meditation retreats.

But when we are coming at them from a space of always looking for that one thing that will fix all the things, we can’t have that sort of experience.

And why can’t we have that sort of experience?

Simple LOA 101: When we are very focused on the ‘problem’ we can’t really manifest stuff that feels like the ‘solution.’ We will only manifest a reality where the problem continues to exist, which would naturally entail doing all sorts of things that ‘don’t work.’

So we covered the ‘what’ and some insight on how to evaluate whether or not you should ‘do’ this thing or that thing to ‘get’ happy.

Now what about the ‘why?’ And for most of us, I already mentioned the primary ‘why’ earlier–you are doing all this not to become a happier, wiser, and all that great stuff, but simply to get something you don’t have. That’s okay, but it hurts…a lot.

It’s okay to change your energy knowing how it will benefit your physical reality, but when that is the top-of-mind driver for doing all this, when it primarily is about the ‘stuff’ it really is an upstream journey. Your negative emotion is the fuel, it’s all your focused on.

If you are just trying to ‘get’ happy to get something you don’t have, nothing you do will ever actually work because if you are brutally honest, you actually don’t care about whether you are truly happy, you just care about getting what you want.

It’s hard to accomplish our energetic ‘goals’ when we actually don’t TRULY care about whether we embody that energy or not.

Let’s be honest here…do you (surface ego you) truly care about feeling peace, security, support, well-being, love, abundance, and joy or are you trying to cultivate those emotions LARGELY because you think it will get you what you want? If you didn’t have to change your emotional tune to get what you want, would you even bother? 

All those things are what you really want funnily enough..a part of you already knows this and does truly care. But those energies can never be truly, consistently yours as long as they are nothing more than a means to an end.

They can never be yours as long as you let your mind keep running the show and you prioritize the manifestations and what the outside world looks like, over truly, meaningfully changing your inner world in a real way.

The stuff comes anyway…trust me. I’m not trying to persuade you to give up wanting anything specific. I’m just trying to present perspectives to you that will help reduce the sense of ‘need’ you probably feel around all the things missing in your life, that will make this journey less painful for you.

If you can clean up your energy a bit in this regard, then all the stuff you do to activate specific vibrations you believe are conducive to receiving this or that, will be much more powerful and effective.

That stuff can be really good…I’m never discouraging you from doing these things outright. I just like to point out the typical problems people encounter when they rely too heavily on all of that, and lose sight of what they should really be paying attention to.

Yeah, we have our shit to deal with and that sucks sometimes, but this journey, especially a journey of conscious creation, shouldn’t be inherently painful.

We shouldn’t be so attached to what we want we engage in the insanity of putting tremendous amounts of effort into transforming our inner world simply to get a boyfriend or make more money, and totally ignoring all this pain and negativity that has been poisoning our lives for years? Really?

The Reason It’s So Hard

This should be so obvious it doesn’t even need to be said, but in this journey, the emotional part of you operates very differently than the mental part of you, and you need to be reminded of the simplest things constantly.

Do you know why you are having such a hard time getting ‘happy?’ Well, besides the fact that it isn’t truly your goal so you’ll never achieve it…YOU’RE NOT HAPPY NOW.

Making big energetic leaps is hard because there is no momentum behind all this warm, fuzzy energy we so deeply crave. You are not in the vibrational neighborhood of ‘happy.’

You have been living your whole life in the mode where experience comes first and then the emotion. Do you think all of a sudden your mind is going to let you be happy for no reason all the time, especially when there is any hint of something it doesn’t like in your current circumstances, when what you wanted still isn’t here??? How cute…

You may have your moments here and there–maybe you got some juice off a particularly resonant workbook exercise earlier that morning or something happened that your mind liked and it gave you ‘permission’ to feel good.

But by and large, the type of energy that will ‘get’ you what you want is essentially foreign as far as living it day in and day out goes–it is by no means your natural state. It’s not your default mode.

Sure, you can do things to help raise your vibe, but if this fledgling, new energy is competing with some more deeply ingrained vibrations that aren’t so ‘happy’ it really won’t do much for you.

This whole thing goes back to the difference between the theory and reality of manifesting. If you had no resistance, OR you were willing to release it as easily as you ‘should’ given your new understanding of how reality works and that you are a super-powerful creator, the vibration activations borne of affirming, journaling, visualizing and what have you, would be very, very powerful and probably all that is required of you.

But this isn’t the reality we are contending with, hence all that pain-in-the-ass advice about having to deal with your feelings from me and likely many others. If they are they, they are there…sorry can’t do anything about that. And my advice acknowledges this reality, no matter how much you don’t like it–both the reality of your current emotional state and the advice.

If you want to make room for all that delicious energy that will get you that raise, the boyfriend, the new job, the successful business, the effortless receiving of money, the weight loss, the healed body or whatever else is in your mind’s crosshairs, you gotta give it some place to go. You want to focus on trying to feel better just for the sake of feeling better. I know…God forbid. So. Annoying.

Because that general vibe management will create an energy that is more in the ‘neighborhood’ of these more stronger, specific energies you are trying to make stick, they will be able to more easily ‘integrate’ into your vibration. THIS IS WHY I TALK ABOUT THIS SO MUCH.

If you are a mess with money, how well do you think the brand-spanking-new energy of ‘abundance’ can weasel its way into your vibe, and make a home to grow, if it is competing against a bone-deep terror about your finances that you have had for the last decade?

I know it always seems like I’m raining on your parade as far as encouraging openness, reminding you what you are really after, being detached, etc….

But if I thought you shouldn’t care at all about your human experience, I wouldn’t teach something like this.

The reality is, though, we are bringing a lot fucked up energy to the game, which makes something inherently simple much more difficult. And I am just trying to help people untangle all of that because I have seen the benefit of doing so in my own life.

That we are not on top of things energetically most of our lives just is what it is,  but if we are always vigilant about keeping our energy as clean as possible, it just makes everything so much easier and more pleasant. Don’t you want that? 

You can still want what you want, but you will no longer feel like you ‘need’ it and that’s a nice feeling. A feeling that will directly influence how quickly and/or easily it shows up.

You can want what you want, but the manifestation almost becomes secondary because you care more about just feeling better and shedding all the emotional anchors that cast a shadow over your life You know it will come anyway because you are working on the true level of ‘cause’ but because you no longer feel that desperate ‘need’ around it, you are finally willing to put your attention where you know it’s needed to be this whole time. (This paragraph represents the exact mentality of my perfect coaching client for anyone curious about that)

You will put ‘effort’ into trying to feel better because you just don’t now, but it shouldn’t ever feel like you are ‘trying.’ Anything you do that makes you feel better is a ‘good’ thing, a ‘useful’ thing, a ‘beneficial’ thing an ‘effective’ thing, so just do whatever feels right to you…it really doesn’t matter. Firm decisions–made over and over–to choose perspectives, thoughts and feelings that empower you and make you feel better–are really the true key to this ‘building’ of positive energy.

Your Turn

What did you think? Anything resonate in particular? What ways help you best manage your energy? Looking forward to your comments as always.

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