You read about the law of attraction and something resonated. The idea of being able to create your reality just to your liking was exciting and for the first time, you actually believed getting what you want may be truly possible.

So you kept studying it, did the exercises that were suggested in blogs, books and what have you. You likely had some manifestations that proved there was something to this, and you powered on, knowing you had stumbled upon a powerful truth.

But then things weren’t changing to your liking, and the frustration started to bubble up. Things aren’t going too well right now, and you are just so sick of ‘what is.’ You want to be done with it already.

And then you start getting pissed. You begin to wonder if this is just a bunch of bullshit. It’s not working and you’re just about ready to say fuck it and give up. This feeling is understandable.

But it would be crying shame to give up consciously working with your energy because you are missing out on the most powerful way for creating happiness, ease and other good stuff.

So don’t give up. You just need to tweak a few things. Here is some advice I would give to anyone feeling like that.

The Universe Doesn’t ‘Care’

This is not meant in some harsh way that suggests we are all on our own down here and there is no loving guidance available to us. There certainly is. Our higher self loves us dearly, and is always holding a space of the love and pure positive energy, that will make us a match for all our heart’s desire. I think there are all sorts of beings rooting for us humans to get our shit together.

But it is crucial you understand the law of attraction is a neutral, mechanical process free of any sort of judgment. When us LOA teachers talk about the Universe orchestrating events, pulling together resources, knowing what we want, and what have you, we are not implying it is some force akin to what many believe ‘God’ to be—some superhuman residing in the skies, keeping tabs, evaluating us and deciding our fates.

When I think of ‘God’ I think more of an energy that resides in all of us, that there is no power separate from us. We are that power.

I am bringing this up because even if you have familiarized yourself with this tenet of the attraction process, the idea of some higher power running the show is deeply ingrained in many of us.

On one hand, this may provide some comfort, but on the other hand, it can create a sense of powerlessness in that it makes us think we can’t do things for ourselves, or even worse, we are at the mercy of something outside of us, that will ultimately decide whether we get what we want. 

The idea of ‘karma,’ where we are rewarded for good things, and punished for the bad, is something we really, really want to believe. It makes us feel better. But as you have probably observed, bad shit happens to ‘good’ people, and good shit happens to ‘bad’ people, all the time. It is hard to make a strong argument for karma being the guiding force for what happens to us, in my opinion.

But the ideas of ‘karma’ and a God who rules all, and decides what will and won’t happen to us, implies ‘judgment.’ And judgment is the purview of us good old humans. There is no force ‘judging’ you.

You have to realize that no matter how good of a person you are, no matter how much you deserve the best life has to offer (and you deserve it one million percent for the sheer fact you exist,) no matter how much you want what you want, and no matter how hard you are trying to get it—whether through physical action or working on aligning your energy—you can’t get it if you aren’t a match to it.

On one hand, this is frustrating as hell, but on the other hand, it’s a great thing because it means that there is no outside force judging your desires, deciding if they are legitimate and determining if you will realize them.

And on the flip side, it also means that no matter what you have done in the past that you deem ‘bad’ or ‘wrong,’ it doesn’t matter in terms of getting what you want now. The lack of what is wanted in your life has nothing to do with any sort of punishment. No one is deciding you can’t have this these things or you don’t ‘deserve’ them because of prior transgressions.

If you have been struggling, you have to honestly ask yourself if these sorts of beliefs are still strong, and if you have been getting all pissed at the Universe, thinking it is holding out on you.

The Law of Attraction is Not a Tool

The law of attraction is not visualizing. It is not affirmations. It is not vision boards. It is not a tool in any shape or form. It is a way of explaining how reality works, and what causes everything that happens, on the level of the individual and good old humanity as a whole.

We may not fully understand how it works in every instance, but I don’t know if we’re really meant to, and it’s not necessary actually. But I digress…

It is easy to forget this sometimes, and we get caught up in the idea the law of attraction is something we can ‘use’ to influence our experience. But you don’t ‘use’ the law of attraction to make anything happen. The law of attraction just ‘is.’

The real tools, like affirmations and vision boards, can be extremely helpful because they help activate the frequencies that represent what we want, and help us shift limiting beliefs. But again, they are just tools.

I know I have talked about this many times before, and it bears repeating in a post like this, because it can take awhile for this to really sink in, and I have seen time and time again, people complain about how hard they are trying and not getting any results.

Because we are so accustomed to using action to make things happen, we expect that we will be rewarded for all our ‘work,’ with our manifestations coming to fruition, but that’s not how it goes.

It doesn’t matter what you are doing. It matters what you are ‘being.’ You have to be honest with yourself in assessing how much your belief system and emotional state have shifted. You have to be honest with how you have really been feeling about getting what you want.

Sure you may feel good when you are using your various tools, but how are you feeling the rest of the time? Do you still have a desperate sense of need around what you want?

You’re not going to be perfect at this, so this isn’t a time to beat yourself up for not having been able to totally shift limiting beliefs or maintain a smile no matter what is happening around you 24/7. That isn’t necessary to start seeing any real change.

But if you are still feeling badly most of the time, it doesn’t matter how much ‘work’ you have been doing. It doesn’t matter how much you want what you want…things really can’t change outside until something starts shifting on the inside.

And because these actions are a means to an end, and not what is actually creating our experience, if you are feeling really fed up with the whole process, it is a good idea to take a break from all of it. If you don’t feel like doing affirmations, don’t do them. If you want to take a break from reading about the law of attraction, pull back from the books and blogs.

This isn’t going to stop the creation process in its tracks…you have been creating the whole time. What you were doing since learning more about the LOA is simply doing it more consciously and deliberately.

Which brings me to my next point…

Saying ‘Fuck It’ Might Actually Get You Back on Track

While we want to work on feeling as good as we can, to attract more stuff about which to feel good, when you really think about it, the core of attracting what we want really lies in tearing down the resistance that stands in the way.

You will hear a lot of people talk about getting to the point of utter frustration, and just giving up on trying to attract what they want. No more exercises. No more visualizing. They get supremely pissed about the whole thing, maybe scream and cry a bit.

And in ‘giving up’ a shitload of resistance gets broken down because they are no longer actively wanting what they want with such fervor, intensity and focus. When we aren’t thinking much about what we want, we aren’t activating resistance.

And in the absence of this resistance, really good stuff can follow, like the exact thing they want making its way in, a manifestation that holds great promise that it in fact can happen, inspired action strikes or clarity comes that makes the next steps so much clearer.

Just to be clear…I am not talking about actually giving up on what you want. That freaks out your brain a lot because it is very attached to certain desires. We know we aren’t supposed to do that, but we just can’t help it sometimes. It’s hard, I know.

But if the idea of not trying so hard anymore to get this thing, or not doing the ‘work’ for a bit offers up a feeling of relief, and makes you feel better, do it.

Because as we all know, the feeling is where it’s at creation-wise. Big you knows what you want and is flowing energy towards it always. All it needs from us is to be on board, and since that can take awhile, we get in the way most of the time. This little hiatus may do you some good if you are in a really negative head space.

How Much Have You Really Taken Your Focus Off ‘What Is’ and Let Yourself TRULY Feel Better?

You have to be really honest with yourself here. If you aren’t, you’re going to remain stuck. I get that it’s hard to all of a sudden start feeling better without having been given a solid reason, something to grasp onto in your outside experience. Believe me, I get it.

But knowing what you know about the law of attraction, you know you really don’t have a choice, if you want to be more deliberate in creating your experience. Your mind will make a very compelling argument as to why you shouldn’t feel better (and why you are entitled to be miserable), hold onto the stories,keep blaming other people and feel sorry for yourself.

And it’s understandable that you feel badly…the bad feeling is alerting you that you don’t like this shit, and would prefer something else. It is what drives positive change and helps you figure out what you would like instead.

You are entitled to have preferences and not like stuff. But again, to really create something different, there has to be that willingness to change your focus—without that, you’re screwed.

And when I talk about feeling better, I am not necessarily talking about oozing pure, unadulterated joy every second. Better is a very subjective state depending on where you are coming from.

For some people, getting to a really high vibing state is easy…things are going pretty well, and they just want more of the good stuff. They might not stay there all the time, but it’s enough to get things moving.

For some, they are coming from a really low space, and ‘better’ may mean feeling the depression lift for just a few minutes at a time, when a genuine hope that things can get better, really shines through.

‘Better’ might mean allowing yourself to fantasize about going to your ex-boyfriend’s house, putting his most beloved possessions into a pile, and lighting them on fire, as he looks on in horror, begging you to stop, all the while wearing a wicked grin on your face, loving every second of it.

Yes, stuff like this is totally okay if it makes you feel better..the fantasy, not actually doing it!

There has to be that willingness to stop ruminating so much on what your life is like currently, and flowing some positive energy towards what you would like instead. This doesn’t necessarily mean spending hours a day visualizing your preferred scenario.

But if you don’t have a lot of practice thinking positively about what you want, you do have to put in some effort, or nothing can really shift.

The energy that will allow things to start changing more to your liking is just too damn weak. Remember that wanting something is not what brings it to you…being a match to the energy that lies behind it, does.

If the energy that led to manifesting your current reality is still really strong, you will have to do a bit of work on weakening it—don’t worry about totally eliminating anything..that is ideal of course, but not necessary, and we all have our limiting beliefs.

You have to honestly ask yourself how attached you are to what you want, and how insistent you are being that your manifestation look a certain way . You have to honestly ask if you have been perhaps a bit too attached to one particular channel through which your manifestation could possibly come

For example,you wanted to meet someone and you decided to join an online dating site to put yourself out there a bit more. That is just one way you could meet this person, but have you maybe gotten too invested in this one channel, thinking this is your only shot?

And I have to stress here that if you have been dropping the ball, in this respect please do not beat yourself up about it. This is a really new way of operating and we won’t master it immediately.

We are human with a range of emotions and we are just going to feel badly sometimes. We aren’t happy with how things are, and we’re going to feel that unhappiness sometimes.

We are not perfect and we won’t ever be. You’re adopting a whole new paradigm about how reality works, and going ‘all in’ 100 percent after just getting it in theory, is a monumental shift that is pretty much impossible to make in practice. We don’t fully buy in and we don’t fully trust we will get what we want.

There Still May Be Some Confusion About How Things Really Work

Have you, like many people, been under the false impression that the law of attraction is akin to magic, and making all sorts of demands for exact manifestations, thinking that if it was ‘real’ these things would have come by now?

Are you demanding the Universe show you some sort of ‘sign’ not to give up, and when it doesn’t, you again, start questioning if this is real. Remember what I said earlier about this force being neutral and mechanical…it can’t perform parlor tricks. It can’t deliver anything ‘on demand’ in the way we are often led to believe it can.

This tendency actually speaks to lack of trust in the process, and that will always slow things down. Though setting an intention for signs from a better energetic space, will help make you a match to such signs, and they will surely come.

There still might be some confusion regarding how we control our experience. We control it through our focus, and by focusing on what we want, we get more of it, in a variety of ways—things may not always look how think they will look, but the end result will always be something we want. Though many times, we get exactly what we picture because it’s the best representation.

But if you are under the impression you can harness the power of the law of attraction to micromanage every detail of your life, and have things go EXACTLY as you have deemed they should go, each and every second, this is not going to work out well.

This mode of operating is the complete polar opposite of the state of trust, allowing and detachment—a state that can really make magical things happen. This is the state that is responsible for making getting what we want so much easier than when we insist on doing things the hard way, trying to force results through ineffective action, and getting super-attached to a specific end result, finding any alternative absolutely unacceptable.

Most manifestations happen in a progression—the full-fledged thing just doesn’t fall out of thin air, but as we align more and more, the ways in which things unfold can seem just as magical and effortless.

We aren’t a match to a lot of the things we want, and we have to make peace with that, and be willing to do the ‘work’ knowing we can become a match to it, and we can get what we want. And remember that no matter what, what you ultimately want is to experience a life that makes you feel a certain way—remember it is always a feeling.

In Closing…

There may be a bit of ‘slapping you around’ thrown in here but it was being done with the utmost love. I am human too, and I am not above any of this crap either. So I get where the blocks are coming from. But we have to find a way through them, and hopefully what I wrote here will give you some renewed faith in the process, and help you keep going.

Your Turn…

What did you think of this post? Anything in particular resonate? Are you feeling like this right now, ready to just throw in the towel? What tips would you offer to anyone feeling super-discouraged? Looking forward to your comments as always. 

If you want to learn more about law of attraction, you can also find my Making Sense of the Law of Attraction series on Amazon. If you are a Kindle Unlimited member, they are free…sweet. And if you aren’t, no worries..they are super-cheap!