Law of Attraction: I Want to Believe But My Desire Just Doesn’t Seem Possible

Today I am going to be discussing one of the most pressing issues for those who are beginning to work with a teaching like the law of attraction–not being able to see how you would get from A to B because they seem really far apart from each other. Enjoy!

I love your thoughts and words, I’ve learnt a lot from you already! I’ve understood how manifestation works, like I really agree with you, and have experienced things in my life several times. But now I want to achieve a reality that is hard for me to believe. Like, my mind thinks it’s too big, and my present reality is seems to be the total opposite of my desired one. Because of this, I just can not believe what I’d like to achieve. Everytime I try to get in the mood, a strong tense appears in my stomach. And I know it’s because I feel it to be a ‘lie’. But I don’t know how to make my mind and heart believe it 100%. So, there is this block in me, and I know this is the only thing that holds me back from getting the life I want. I try to feel good, but deep inside I always feel the lack. How could I overcome this, and how can I believe in my desired reality when the present one screams to my face?

Flower

You Won’t Believe 100 Percent and That’s Okay…Really

All our mind knows is what has already happened. All it knows is what it observes around you–the experience of your family, friends and society at large, much of which is courtesy of a lovely smorgasbord of  limiting beliefs and fears. It is very insistent if it can’t see a possibility it must not exist. It can be a real dream-killing assface.

So to believe you can have what you want, that you can co-create with the Universe, that all the shit we think matters doesn’t in the slightest, 100 percent, when your experience has not shown this to be true, is kind of not really possible. Sure in theory it is, but anyone capable of totally dismissing the illusion and buying in so easily would have done so long ago.

The only thing you can do is pay attention to the intuitive resonance with a teaching like this, knowing this feeling is guiding you towards a truth of some kind, and trusting that maybe just maybe this might be how it works, even if you don’t have much evidence. Your feelings are a wonderful guidance system and the stuff that feels good is true and the stuff that is bullshit doesn’t–so simple yet powerful.

Though I am sure you have manifested plenty of good things in your life, you just weren’t doing it consciously. So I would advise to start there and you will soon begin connecting the energetic dots, giving you something to go on.

And as you turn your attention more to what may have led to manifesting the things in life that aren’t exactly wanted, you will connect same said dots. And you will start seeing the link between your energy and your reality more clearly.

With this understanding, you will begin to make the wonderful realization if you start changing what’s happening on the inside, the outside will start changing.  It will become clearer your life wasn’t just random, with things happening for no good reason, that sometimes you were just ‘lucky’ or ‘unlucky.’

You will realize your current experience is merely a result of past energies playing out, and now that you are going to consciously work on all of that, what shows up will start looking different.

It is crucial to understand you were always creating–you just weren’t doing it consciously or deliberately. The law of attraction was always in action–it is a way of explaining how the Universe functions, not a tool to be utilized that you just weren’t ‘using’ previously.

The ‘How’ is None of Your Business

Your mind is designed to plan, plot and figure out, and this serves us well in many instances–with conscious creation, not so much.  So naturally when we want something, the first thing it is going to do is try to see how we would get it. Get used to that–it will probably never stop.

Our mind is limited in many ways, and one of the ways in which it is most limited is its inability to calculate INFINITE possibility. There is NO way it can see the unlimited combination of circumstances that can lead to getting all the things your heart desires.

It can’t come close to understanding how the Universe mobilizes resources and arranges things so perfectly, provided we hold up our end of the bargain energetically.

It cannot anticipate meeting the person who will play an integral role in your manifestation whom at this point you have no idea even exists.

It doesn’t have a clue about the dream job  that totally awesome company is currently creating but hasn’t advertised yet.

It doesn’t know about the yoga class you are going to take next week, where in your state of relaxed and calm bliss you will have some life-changing insight that opens the door to a course of events that will unfold perfectly.

It doesn’t know about the person you are going to start a conversation with at the coffee shop you never go into but one day have a strong nudge to, who ends up referring ten new clients to you.

I know this is easier said than done, but you are literally incapable of figuring out ‘how.’ Your mind may be able to come up with a handful of possibilities at best, and if pursuing any of them feels good, go for it. But know this is in no way an exhaustive list of how things can come together. Don’t get attached to any one particular channel or opportunity

Follow the Feelings

This is something you have probably heard a million times, especially if you have been hanging out at this blog for any length of time, but it bears repeating and you will likely need to hear it a million times more for it to begin making any dent in your consciousness 😉

And if you haven’t heard it before, and you haven’t realized this yet, prepare to have your mind blown!

No matter what you want, you are after a feeling, no exceptions ever, ever, ever. I don’t care what the specific thing is, you want it because you think having it will give you a desirable feeling and/or take away an undesirable feeling you are experiencing now.

So, how do you want to feel? What does this desire represent? What could you do to cultivate those feelings now? Once they get stronger in your vibration, your reality will have no choice but to become full of things that reflect those feelings back to you.

When it comes to opportunities, take the ones that give you those desired feelings. When faced with a choice between two things, choose the thing that will give you more of the feelings.

If you feel drawn to do something because you think it will make you feel good, do it even if it doesn’t make sense, even if you don’t see how it is related.  Don’t think too much about how it fits into the bigger picture of your desired manifestations.

Following your feelings will always lead you in the right direction because like I said earlier, as you cultivate your desired feelings more strongly, they will begin to be mirrored back to you more and more in a variety of wonderful ways.

All you want is the feelings anyway, and when you allow yourself to do things that will give them to you, you will actually start feeling happier now, which is all you want anyway.

That one thing or another hasn’t happened yet won’t be the monumental deal your mind is probably making it out to be now. You will realize your mind’s insistence you couldn’t possibly feel better without this thing happening is pure bullshit. The absence of this thing won’t loom so large in your reality.

Gotta Deal with Your Shit

This is the part of the reality creation process that we don’t anticipate nor want to deal with, understandably. We get the impression that the law of attraction is all about deciding what we want, believe it is possible, all the while  affirming and visualizing it into existence.

If we didn’t have any sort of resistance, that would be a pretty good summation of how it works. But the theory of manifesting and the ‘reality’ of it can look quite different to say the least.

Flower mentioned how she just can’t seem to shake the feeling of ‘lack.’ When she thinks about what she wants, it doesn’t feel all that good. And as many of you may probably know, all of that ick is referred to as ‘resistance,’ a word you may come to loathe throughout this process.

Resistance is basically all the fears, beliefs, perspectives and what have you, that don’t support energetic alignment with all the goodies we crave. Our biggest problem with releasing resistance is our mind’s refusal to look through our current circumstances to the true ‘reality’ that lies beyond it. It only believes in what it sees, and draws all sorts of false conclusions; it is working with a very limited set of data.

We get so sick of hearing it is our ‘resistance’ that is the problem. But it is my loves–struggling on the manifesting front has nothing to do with not saying your affirmations enough, not having the appropriate visualization, not having found the perfect tool or technique yet, not that you aren’t thinking about what you want enough, not that you aren’t ‘happy’ enough, not that you are doing manifesting ‘wrong.’

While denying our feelings has served us well in many instances, it won’t do the conscious creator a lick of good. This doesn’t mean constantly evaluating our emotional state and diving into every negative feeling we have. It doesn’t mean policing our thoughts every waking moment.

But we do have to be honest about our limiting beliefs, our fears, our reasons why we think the things we want in our life aren’t possible. We have to be willing to look at it, feel it. You can’t ‘hide’ it from the Universe by trying to layer some ‘positive’ feelings on top of it in the form of affirmations or what have you.

We can’t change our energy in any meaningful way unless we know what we are working with.

The Universe doesn’t respond to our conscious wants and desires–it responds to our energy. It can’t give us something just because we want it or because we are really upset without it, or because we are a ‘good’ person who deserves it.

This is a process of co-creation, where we avail ourselves to the wonderful things the Universe can assist us with by believing it is so, by creating an energy that lends itself to the money, the great jobs, the relationships, the opportunities and what not showing up. It is not a system of demanding things and then the Universe ‘giving’ them to us.

We tend to make manifesting a very action-oriented process,always wanting to know what we can ‘do’ to make something happen. While we definitely understand the role our beliefs play in the system, I think it can take awhile for it to fully sink in that it is all about what you are ‘being’ not what you are ‘doing.’

And changing our ‘being’ requires us to look at what is in our energy field now, no matter how unpleasant, how ‘negative’ or whatever.

What You Want Isn’t What You Want Anyway

I know your mind just loves this statement. Remember what I said before about always being after a feeling? Anything we want is merely a translation of a particular feeling and energy we find desirable.

Your desire for love and connection was translated into wanting a boyfriend. Your desire for security and freedom was translated into wanting more of that sweet cash. Your desire to be respected and looked up to translates into wanting that promotion at your job.

So yeah, what you want isn’t what you TRULY want. It’s okay to want certain things but you must understand this. It can save you a lot of suffering. You almost certainly won’t understand this and you’ll suffer but it just is what it is. We have all been there, and are probably there at least a little bit right now, no matter how ‘advanced’ one might be.

This is why identifying the feelings and committing to creating them in your life in whatever way is the surest route to awesomeness.

Another aspect of this idea is our desires are often driven by some screwy energies and/or are completely ego-driven.

We often want the things we want to minimize pain, to make bad feelings go away, to hopefully show that painful things we think about ourselves aren’t true, to ‘prove’ something to someone or the world at large, and what have you.

When you start diving more deeply into all of that stuff, you may find that something you want right now isn’t what you actually want. When you start working on manifesting from a space of feeling whole and complete now, the desire for certain things fades as the energies you are hoping to quell by acquiring it aren’t there anymore.

For example, someone might have a dream of being a famous actress. There may be some element of being drawn towards the profession itself, finding enjoyment in the craft of acting.

But she starts to dig deeper and she realizes the desire is primarily being driven by a desire to be loved and accepted; she realizes her whole life she has been seeking validation from outside herself, and being famous and adored by the whole world would be the ultimate form. It would mean she is talented enough, pretty enough, just ‘enough’ overall.

Upon discovering this, she might realize she doesn’t want to be an actress at all. Or she realizes she does have a genuine desire to do the job itself, and upon clearing out all that crap, and just wanting to be an actress because it would be fun and allow her to be creative and what have you, she goes about manifesting it in a completely different way.

The desperation isn’t there anymore. The insistence she will remain miserable and unfulfilled unless she becomes an A-list celebrity begins to fade. She understands it is not the answer to anything she is dealing with now. It is just an experience she would like to have. There might still be that part wanting those things, but it is much smaller now. 

Again I know this is a hard one to wrap our heads around. And again, it’s okay to want specific things. But you want to work on desiring them from the space of knowing they can be a great enhancement to your life, a great way to embody the energies and activities you find enjoyable.

Our interests and the things that excite us can give us some clues as to what paths in life may help us best fulfill our function and get the most out of this human experience.

But just be open to the idea that what you want now may not be what you want later, it might not be the best representation, it might not be what YOU really want, but what your mind wants or thinks you should want.

So that’s that. Hope you enjoyed it.

Your Turn

What did you think? Anything resonate in particular? Any advice you would give to the LOA ‘newbies’ out there? Looking forward to your comments as always.

Want to learn how to overcome all that pesky resistance? Make sure to sign up for my new class series starting January 22nd:

Manifesting C#ckblockers: Tackling the Most Common Forms of Resistance