Since law of attraction is all about how we feel, not feeling good can really get in the way of making this amazing force work in our favor. All those annoying limiting beliefs, and negative emotions are just mucking everything up, and are quite unwelcome are they not?
We get really mad at ourselves, and try to will good feelings with all our might, and this just makes us feel even worse. These negative occurrences become enemy number one, and we develop a great deal of resistance around them.
We know the importance of feeling good,and in theory, it isn’t all that hard to get into that space all the time. But, in our day-to-day experience, there is a good chance we’ll have our bad days. We’ll sometimes feel doubtful we can get what we want. Our limiting beliefs don’t fade away so quickly, try as we might. We have a lot of programming to work through.
First off, it’s okay. Just accept these moments. You can still get what you want without feeling fabulous every waking second. As you get deeper into your work, the limiting beliefs will fall away, and be replaced by ones that support awesomeness all around. You’ll feel better more of the time without actively trying to do so. The ‘bad’ moments won’t stick around as long.
We want to develop strategies that help us deal with these moments, and here are a few tips, based on my own experience, that I have found quite helpful.
But, first, check out this quick video talking a bit more about our ‘bad’ feelings and beliefs.
Write It Out
I am a huge fan of writing things down—and I mean actually writing on a piece of paper with a pen, not typing something out in a word document, though if this works for you, go for it. I feel there is a lot of power in bringing things out of our heads, and into the physical, through the written word.
This is one of my favorite techniques for dealing with limiting beliefs. Nothing complicated here. Just list out all your limiting beliefs you are experiencing around a particular issue. Don’t think too hard, just let it flow. Don’t censor. This is the best way to really see what is going on in that head of yours.
Now that you have them written down, go through each one, and write out why this belief isn’t true.Keep writing until you feel better. If you are buying into the whole LOA thing, there is at least a small part of you that realizes in this very moment, that beliefs are not facts, and can be changed, that whatever we believe will be true for us. If you have decided you wanted a particular thing, there is some line of thinking within that thinks it possible to have it. Tap into this line to help quell the a-hole beliefs that are messing with your head.
Doing this will create an immediate shift in your thinking. You will get a nice reminder we can pursue any line of thinking we so choose, and your negative beliefs are not ‘law.’ They are just one perspective on the matter, and perspective can be shifted anytime we make an effort to do so.
Think Back to LOA Wins
As we manifest more and more, our faith in this principle grows, and we are not as easily deterred by any lingering ‘stuff’ that may be lurking within. But, even with all our cool manifestations, we still harbor doubts about our current wants, and worry we won’t get them. That bastard brain of ours just won’t surrender.
In those cases, where we have set our sights on something a bit bolder, a desire we probably didn’t think was possible before we began our work with LOA, we may find some limiting beliefs and fears coming to the surface, that were lying dormant because they weren’t being activated by our previous efforts.
When this happens, it can really throw us for a loop because we may feel like we are backsliding. But, you’re not backsliding. You are moving towards a new level of awesome, and the higher we reach, the more ‘stuff’ there is that needs to be cleared out.
Realizing the power we have within changes our whole view of the world, and what is possible for us. But, after years and years of buying into a faulty belief system, really going for the gusto usually means coming up against some pretty powerful adversaries that kept us from living up to our full potential up until this point.
So, regardless of how ‘big’ or ‘small’ your manifestation is, thinking back to your LOA wins is a great way to shift your thinking and feeling. You know you have done it before, and you know you can do it again. You remember the force that underlies all of this creating works the same way no matter what it is you are hoping to bring into your experience.
The categorizing of certain things as being ‘easier’ or ‘harder’ to manifest—money being a perfect example– is all due to the level of resistance we have around that particular type of manifestation because of our past experience, and the ‘severity’ of the limiting beliefs we hold.
So, when you feel those limiting beliefs, or yucky feelings, like fear or frustration, rising to the surface, bust out a piece of paper and write down all the things you have manifested so far, big and small. This will fortify your resolve, and you’ll know you’re not wasting your time.
Just Focus on Feeling Good for the Sake of It
I talked a little bit about this in my post yesterday about things screwing up our manifesting mojo, and I wanted to expand a bit on it here because it seemed like a fitting tip for the advice I’m doling out today.
Before you were aware of LOA, you probably had plenty of good things happen for you without you having set any intentions; there was no visualizing, affirming, clearly defining desires,etc…You had plenty of beliefs that served you well. You didn’t think too much about certain things you may have wanted ,and you got them.
Naturally, becoming aware of this force will help increase the good things exponentially and reduce the ‘unwanted’ significantly. Working consciously with LOA is, without a doubt, a very good thing.
But, with this awareness can come an increased level of anxiety about our thoughts and feelings, excessive focus on what we want and trying a bit too hard to make things happen. We realize how much control we have over our experience, and we get very determined to exercise this control as effectively as possible. But, then we find we are often not exercising it effectively, but rather in a way that perpetuates our feeling badly, and gums up the channels of receiving.
One of the best ways to deal with all of this is simply working on feeling good for the sake of it. Imagine that? Just trying to feel good for no other reason that well, to just feel good. What a novel idea!
Don’t put so much focus on raising your vibe simply so you can get all your ‘stuff.’ Don’t think all your ‘feel-good’ activities have to be related to your specific desire. Whatever it is we want, we want because we think it will give us a desired feeling. Since we create on a level of feeling, all that is required of you is cultivating those feelings now, as well as taking any inspired action that will help you move towards your goal.
Don’t always be filtering everything through your work with LOA—it is working even if it is not at the forefront of your mind. Just do whatever makes you feel good, seriously, like anything. Nothing is too trivial or silly; you can’t do anything ‘wrong’ here. Some of my favorite feel-good activities are watching DVDs of my favorite sitcoms—Curb Your Enthusiasm and 30 Rock are my most common go-to’s–spending time with animals and taking a walk.
If You Feel Like Crap, Take a Nap
Ah, the nap. This has been one of my most powerful tools in my ‘crap-fighting’ arsenal. Unfortunately, many view sleeping as some sort of escape, and a way to avoid our issues. I guess that can be true sometimes. If you are feeling super-depressed and do nothing but sleep, that could be something to look into.
But, I’m not talking about depression or heavy emotional ‘stuff.’ I’m talking about tools for making LOA work in our favor, and dealing with crappy feelings, and a nice nap can do wonders. Sleep resets something within us, and if we are feeling particularly bogged down in our limiting beliefs ,and a nasty state of mind, it is a great way to flush all this out of our system.
Never think of it as being lazy, or running away from anything. Remember that LOA is all about how we feel, and this strategy can aid you in feeling better. You are in a clearer, lighter state of mind where you can more effectively ponder, and work through, those heavy weights that were pulling you down earlier. It can give you a more positive perspective—everything in life is perspective, and we always have the choice to shift ours. This can be hard sometimes, and I have found my ‘LOA naps’ to be an easy way to do it.
So, if you feel like crap, take a nap. You’ll be amazed at the difference.
Step Away from Any Action Related to Your Manifestations
This is a really important strategy, but can be one of the harder to employ. Because we are in a negative place, and our limiting beliefs are really putting up a fight, we lose faith in the process, and we feel tempted to approach getting what we want in the ‘old’ way of forcing the result through certain channels ,and making ourselves do things that make us feel badly, because we believe they are things we are ‘supposed’ to be doing.
The belief that we can only get what we want through hard work and lots of suffering rises to the surface. We think we have to sit down and ‘figure it out.’ No more of this faith and feeling good nonsense. It is time to get to work, and make things happen.
Now, there is a part of you that knows this is not the way to go, and you don’t have to approach getting what you want in this harder, much less pleasant way. Don’t let this part of you get drowned out when these moments arise. Don’t give into the desire to force things, and engage in activities that make you feel shitty.
You know creation is based on feeling, and you know deep down this course of action will only throw you off track. Step away from any actions that are related to your manifestation—even if they are seemingly good and helpful, it is all about the energy and beliefs behind them. And when you are feeling like this, you are working from a bad space energetically, and it is counterproductive.
If you are feeling a bit discouraged about your blog traffic, don’t force yourself to go comment on 100 blogs in an effort to increase your exposure, all the while, feeling like crap and that no one cares about what you have to say anyway.
If you are feeling a bit discouraged about your search for a job, don’t spend the next eight hours sending out resumes in a fit of desperation.
Just back off, and do something else. There is that part of you that will fight this urge to the death, and convince you that you ‘must’ do these things, lest what you want will not come to you, but this part of you is a big, fat liar.
Go Back to LOA Material that Strongly Resonates With You
When it comes to LOA, or any other sort of personal development material for that matter, you will find information being presented in different ways, based on the experience, worldview, personality, writing style and what have you, of whoever created it. For this reason, some material will resonate with a particular person more than others.
When we are trying to adopt new belief systems and habits, we need regular exposure to the information that helps us develop this new way of being. We need to be reminded. We need to recondition our minds, and turning our attention towards the books, blog posts, videos or whatever, is a powerful way to make that happen.
The more we root this information into our minds, the closer to the surface it will be in these ‘lower’ moments. As these beliefs get stronger, they will not feel so far away from us, when we find ourselves straying from this line of thinking and feeling. We can get back to them sooner. The ‘bad’ moments will not feel as intense because the lower-energy thoughts and feelings will feel less ‘true’ over time. The ‘limiting’ beliefs will become weaker, and we’ll be able to kick them out of our heads more quickly.
So, those are my top tips for dealing with limiting beliefs and other mental yuck.
Please let me know your thoughts in the comments. How do you deal with your limiting beliefs and mental yuck? What particular feelings and beliefs are you dealing with right now? What are you trying to manifest and how is it going? Leave me a comment so we can chat.
Hi Kelli. I started reading your posts when I saw the links on the deliberate receiving site and am looking forward to your posts just as much now. I apparently have a huge limiting belief in attracting an exclusive relationship. I managed to first (in my30s my first “relationship that also got physical) attract something with a married man, but we grew apart after some years and I was able to “make a clean cut”. Luckily. Then I manifested a relationship with somebody at work that was on a totally new and better level, physical and emotional. He is not married but living with a partner, so some progress there I guess. We are best friends, sharing everything and became physical for some time but managed to backtrack to “just friends” again but a good dose of flirting remains. But I really really want my own, full relationship with nothing to be secret or hidden, somebody of my own, in a relationship just with me. So I detach from the guy at work, concentrate on what I really want, visualizing and feeling how it feels to share a bed, livingspace and life with somebody. And I manage to make it feel good. But what happens now is that my relationship with this guy is getting stronger now, giving more opportunity to be alone, (simple thing for example – I want is to have dinner and glass of wine with somebody of my own – so this happened with him, and it felt very good, I have no quilt around it). He is doing more things that make me feel he cares and would like to be with me but cant out of fear of losing his child for whom he deeply cares. So now I am having manifestations with him that were meant to be with somebody of “my own”, which feels as good as the pain it causes because of his unavailability. I try to cut thoughts of him and his partner together out of my mind, to concentrate on what I want for myself no matter with whom, and not to worry about other people’s relationship. But then I manifest something good with him. And so I feel I am in an eternal up and down swing, (I manifested a situation where we are working very close, having to speak several times a day, ignoring him or making a clean cut as with other broken heart situations is not an option this time, I have to deal with it. I do not want to run away). How do I get rid of this belief that I cannot have somebody of my own. That I will have love joy yes, but only ever the crumbs, not the full meal. If you have written a blog about something similar, plse be so kind to leave the link
Hey Tommy
So glad you liked the post and the blog overall. That truly makes my day anytime anyone says that to me! I think your situation is a common one. It is challenging to pinpoint the exact beliefs and reasons for manifestations for someone else, because it is all so personal. But, a few things came to mind intuitively while reading your post. The first thing I would say, and this applies anytime we experience something ‘unwanted’ is asking yourself how this situation makes you feel. I have found this can be a very revealing exercise to shine a light on our beliefs, especially ones that may not be super-obvious to us. It could be a good idea to get out a piece of paper and a pen and write this out. I find this to be very helpful rather than just ‘thinking’ about it.
Anyway, back to what popped into my mind. Based on my own experience before finding my perfect match, which didn’t involve unavailable men, but those that didn’t want me back, I found after some reflection that it turned out I really didn’t want to be with anyone. Now, as much as I lamented my situation on a conscious level, would moan about being lonely,etc…, there was a whole different story playing out in my subconscious. I came to the realization that my fierce independence and extremely fragile emotional state (I am a pretty sensitive, deep feeling person) made the idea of being vulnerable and intimate with someone on that level unappealing. So, I was easily able to avoid that entanglement by falling for the guys who didn’t want me. I could satisfy that need for deep emotion with the unrequited love, which as we all know, can drive us mad. So, it is possible that there is a part of you that has some fear around a ‘real’ relationship, so you seek out people who can’t make themselves fully available to you.
And, there may be issues of deserving at play. This is another thing our conscious minds can reject because OF COURSE we deserve good thing..we’re not terrible people. But, deep down, this can be a major issue. Not saying you feel this way, but it was just an example that popped into my mind. If someone gets involved with a person already in a relationship, there could be some sense of guilt about doing something wrong to the person’s partner, and then a belief could develop she is a bad person who doesn’t deserve her own healthy relationship.
As far as the manifestations go with your work person, I think it is easy for us to apply some ‘humanness’ to the actions of the good old Universe and think it is sending us signs as far as our interactions with other people, and think it is lining up these specific situations to ‘let us know’ we should keep pursuing that particular person. But, it doesn’t operate in that way. I think that these situations are happening as a means of clarity for you, to let you see that you are on the right track as far as your desires go, but they are not quite ideal yet because you are not with someone who can be fully available to you.
I think that cutting ties with this person romantically will be a VERY powerful thing to do energetically because by doing that, you are sending a strong message, that YES, I can have somebody all to myself so no need to keep hanging onto this situation.
I did write one post about LOA and love specifically that you might find helpful…https://www.livelifemadetoorder.com/blog/blog/wont-alone-forever-law-attraction-love/
Good luck and keep me posted!
Hi Kelli
Thank you so much for the quick reply! So much insight and good advice…What you wrote about yourself is so much true about myself as well (in your blog link, I really had an aha! moment reading that). Trying to figure why some part don’t want to give up independence, and to give to and accept somebody totally is just leaving me tired and confused. I realised I need to concentrate on the feeling of feeling good with somebody without the nagging feeling that it involves having to “sacrifice” or “give up” something that is precious to me. if the “giving up” comes in the end, it will be good and unforced.
Hey Tommy
No problem…I’ glad my response, and my other blog post were helpful for you. On some level, I think we kind of know what our blocks are on our major areas of life–love, money,etc.., but it can take a bit to fully come to terms and have them be super-clear. I think we have a worry there is something lurking deep within that will never reveal itself, and while that may be true to some degree, most of our major limiting beliefs are pretty near the surface and can be overcome. I have found too, just focusing on feeling good, is a great way to clean up our vibe overall without necessarily having to dig too deeply. It sounds like you have a pretty good idea of what is standing in your way, and all you need to do now is work on shifting. I think a strong belief in LOA itself can be very powerful in changing our belief system without having spend a lot of time on each individual belief.
First off, love your bio 😉 Second, great article. I love the way you convey the wisdom of LOA. Your writer’s “voice” is very authentic and personal.
I also think that letting go of limiting beliefs is a critical step in any success plan. Everyone had them, whether they can see them consciously or not. I tend to work with them in terms of how we story our lives, and how we then change and ultimately break free from the limits of story itself. (The final lesson in my End the Overwhelm audio course addresses this head on.)
Whether you think of it in terms of a story you tell about yourself, or specific beliefs you hold as theories (sort of the fiction or non-fiction approach to looking at it), one way or the other, there is something we do in our own minds that limits us, and therefore something we can do within our own minds to bring us the unlimited experience we want to have. Onward and upward!
Hey Indigo
Yes, I thought you would notice that! I’m glad you mentioned it because that was one of those things where it would float in my mind I should do it, then I would forget. So, once that happened, I was like..okay, make that bio! Thanks for that compliment… I think finding ‘voice’ is something people can struggle with, but it was not really something I ever gave much thought to. I would just write what was in my head without too much thought. I think this is an easier thing to do in the personal development niche than others perhaps.
That is such a great way to look at it–that story can be very revealing and shine a light on how we view ourselves, and there is usually a bunch of ‘stuff’ in there that reveals the limits we believe exist for us based on certain elements of our experience and who we are. It really is fascinating when you think about how much is determined by what we think and believe, and that we can simply just change them to something better. It can be challenging but such an empowering thing!
Hey Kelli,
I’m really into 30 rock right now too! It’s kinda crazy that we can be all those miles apart and still watching the same show… small world, isn’t it? I love your suggestion of just plain feeling good, with no agenda. That’s what it’s all about. That’s why I love taking pictures of my kids and doing happy dances! Have you seen my happy dance video on my about page yet? I forget. If not, you should, I think you’d like it. =)
Sharing!
Brittany
Hey Brittany
Thanks so much for stopping by. That might take the spot as my favorite show. It’s so clever and unique–I think it is one of those shows that you either like it or hate it. That suggestion is definitely one of the most powerful because it frees up our energy a lot and things come together more quickly for sure. I haven’t seen that..will definitely head on over there now to watch it!
Hi Kelli,
It’s amazing how deep those limiting beliefs run in our subconscious. When I was in the US Army as a Chaplain I had a great experience working with combat soldiers. But I learned the price of the stories we tell ourselves that run deep and from our childhood.
It’s amazing the things we believe about ourselves that are just not true. Many times it comes from the programs our parents and those who influenced us gave us.
We might be told that we aren’t smart enough, good looking enough, worthless, can’t do anything right, have no real value… It’s said in a lot of different ways and with a lot of different intentions, but the outcome is the same.
Told to us long enough, we start to believe the lies ourselves and even repeat them to ourselves subconsciously.
This creates insecurity, worry and fear. I learned that most people are not even aware that it’s there until it’s exposed by someone who is capable of helping someone work it out.
As you said, we can’t begin to change until we are aware of our programs and feelings. And, being aware doesn’t mean we force it, as you said. But, we still have choices and those choices cannot be realized until we are ready to confront our own lies and stories and create the new ones in our minds that are true.
Our self identity will determine your potential for success and how you handle success when it comes. I know because I had to make some hard choices myself and today I’m better for it.
I’m happy, healthy and I have a wonderful wife and sons, and a growing company that is offering me more than I could have hoped for so quickly.
What a great article Kelli! Thank you for sharing your thoughts and wisdom.
~ Don Purdum
Hey Don
Thanks for stopping by. So glad you liked the article. I loved reading your comment so much, and the one thing that stuck out at me the most was how you referred to these beliefs as ‘stories.’ Stories can be rewritten and changed to our liking. Once we start telling a different story, things can change. Our conditioning gets rearranged, and we can really make significant strides in letting those negative beliefs about ourselves go, and replacing them with new ones. Like you said, it can run so deep. And because those beliefs shape so much of how we go about our lives, and our subconscious seeks out situations that solidify our ‘truth’, we use our experience as a ‘proof’ these things are true. But, if we can realize the beliefs are at the core, and that by changing them, we change our experience, amazing things can happen.
Thank you so much for sharing your story and your great insights..it is much appreciated! So glad to hear things are going so well for you.
Hi Kelli,
My experience with LOA had given me a great lesson. I was so focus on the thing that I don’t want to happen and so my mind thought that must be what I wanted… and it did happen. So, that’s why my life’s journey didn’t always match what I really wanted because I was so focus on the circumstances that I might lose something valuable. I learned the hard way and just recently I discovered that “Whatever I focus on, I get more of!” , the basic of LOA. Now, although I am scared on some things that might happen as I take another path… I intend to focus on my goal and I’m almost there 🙂
Thanks for this great post!
Hi Patricia
Thank you so much for sharing your experience with LOA…it is amazing what you realize once you learn more about the concept, and how our thoughts, feelings and beliefs impact our external experience. That fear is natural…we are conditioned to look at the unknown with a sense of trepidation and tend to let our minds focus to what could go wrong, or what we don’t want to happen. It sounds like a bigger part of you has faith you will get what you want, and it is all about the predominant vibration. Good luck in your manifesting!
Thank you so much Kelli!
All the best,
Patricia
You’re very welcome!
Hello Kelli
Your writing is really inspiring! It makes me really smile, it feels like a recognition, it feels like ‘yesssssss this can help me to move on and let go’. Not to stress and go with the flow!
Thank you very much! Cheers, Sabine
Hi Sabine
Thanks so much..so glad you like it. That recognition is great…that is ‘big’ Sabine recognizing powerful truths, and ‘little’ you will get on board more and more as your mind begins to accept this way of being more. Going with the flow is very helpful for this work, and it is easier to stay in that space when we can remember that even unwanted things are helping us get to where we want to be because they help us reveal blocks and clarify what we want. Hope to ‘see’ you around more, sharing your experiences, insights and your own manifesting tips!