How to let go of trying to control an outcome, even though it almost feels better than just ‘letting go’?
The Root of Control
Fear is at the root of pretty much all our manifesting ‘troubles’ when you think about it, and it is particularly prevalent when it comes to controlling outcomes.
We fear we won’t get what we want so we want to do all we can to ensure we do.
We fear that whatever person, opportunity or experience is presenting itself to us may be the best we can hope for, so we make our best effort to guarantee it all works out in our favor.
This thing is the best version, or perhaps only version, of what we want that has shown up thus far, ,and out of fear nothing better will come along, we desperately latch on, trying to make it happen. This scenario is particularly common among manifesting ‘newbies’ when their vibe first starts shifting.
If we try hard enough, we might be able to make this manifestation happen. If we plot, plan, strategize, manipulate and troubleshoot just right, we’ll get what we want, and we’ll finally be happy.
If we have our hands in the process, if we take actions we believe will contribute to our desired outcomes, there is at least a chance things might go our way.
And this is why trying to control outcomes, even if it doesn’t feel very good overall, still probably feels better than letting go.
If you let go, you might not get what you want. If you let go, maybe the Universe will think you don’t want what you want anymore, and will cancel the order.
If you let go, the Universe, when left to its own devices, might bring what you want in a form that you don’t want it in, and then what if you’re stuck with that?
If you let go, and let energy do its thing, you will be faced with the uncomfortable task of diving into your shit, and that is another aspect where fear can rule the day. We don’t want to go there.
We don’t want to feel our feelings. And knowing what we know about the law of attraction, we know manifesting at our ‘peak’ capacity, that really tapping into that flow, requires this of us.
There is a part of us that would much rather take the action-oriented approach, thinking that enough ‘doing’ or ‘trying’ will eventually bear fruit. Then we can bypass that part of the process.
We hope that making a vision board or saying some affirmations will be sufficient to do the trick on the energy side of things, and we can bypass the uncomfortable inner work. We will get the things that our mind thinks will make the bad feelings go away, and again, no need to make those inner transformations. The manifestations will ‘fix’ all that, so why bother?
The Most Important Thing to Remember
When it comes to letting go of attachment, and trying to control outcomes, the most important thing you must remember is your mind does not understand infinite possibility.
It only acknowledges what has already happened, what is right in front of your face, the possibilities it can formulate. Anything beyond that just doesn’t exist according to your mind.
But just because your mind can’t see it, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.
In theory I think we understand this pretty well, but in practice, we often fail miserably at keeping this little nugget in the forefront of our mind, of actually considering this truth.
Because your mind functions like this, it gets extremely attached to anything that comes into your reality that seems to be the answers to your problems, that seems to be the ticket to making your bad feelings to go away, that seems to be a fit for what you want.
And maybe this thing is ‘the’ thing, but if it is truly a good representation, it will come easily. There will be no forcing, manipulating or controlling required of you.
The more you feel you need to do this, the more likely this thing isn’t ‘the’ thing, and this mode of operation will be the very issue keeping ‘the’ thing from coming in.
The more you allow yourself to entertain the possibility of infinite possibility, and your mind’s utter and total inability to understand this, the easier you will find it to detach, and stop trying to force things to happen, stop trying to control every facet of your life.
Fear Equals Lack of Trust
If we knew without a doubt this whole law of attraction thing was the real deal, we would never dream of trying to control outcomes. That feels badly and takes us out of the natural flow of the manifesting process.
We know that something even better could come along, so why try to force this situation?
We know the manifesting process is supposed to be easy, and controlling outcomes, forcing results, and manipulating circumstances definitely doesn’t smack of ‘easy.’
We know there are infinite possibilities, so if something didn’t work out, no big deal. Something else will come along in perfect time.
But we don’t know this without a shred of doubt. We have a lot of conditioning that makes adopting this perspective quite challenging to say the least.
We may not have very much evidence of things working like this in our own life, so our mind isn’t going to fully get on board right away without any ‘proof.’
So, yeah, we don’t fully trust this process or that this is how things work. That’s very understandable.
But this trust, this faith is a necessary part of the equation. That we have the ability to have faith in the unseen and unproven is not an accident.
This is what allows us to connect to this unseen world of spirit, to these teachings, something we may never be able to ‘prove’ in traditional ways.
The trust has to come before we start seeing these Universal laws playing out in our own lives.
We can’t wait for manifestations to come that justify the trust. We can insist we’ll believe it when we see it.
You have to trust there is something to the intuitive resonance you feel with the idea energy precedes physical manifestations, and this energy is something we can control by way of our focus and belief system.
You have to trust the intuitive resonance you feel with the idea the Universe is not just a collection of gas, and whatever else it’s made of–not sure what that is– but a ‘force’ set up to work for you and not against you, a partner of sorts.
You have to trust the good feelings you get from these beliefs that make you feel really good and empowered are alerting you to something that is true.
If even some part of us is willing to trust in all of this, you will see how unnecessary it is to control outcomes, to get attached, to act from a space of fear and lack. You will see the futility of trying to control things that ultimately you can’t control.
If you trust it is your energy that creates, you know so long as you cultivate the energies that would make you a match to money, relationships, and whatever else it is you would like to see in your life, they will show up.
You will take actions that feel good and inspired, and refrain from the ones that don’t because you realize these bad-feeling actions are an indicator you are already out of alignment–remember our actions are a manifestation of energy.
Now you don’t have to do any of this, and you can probably still manage to get some of the stuff your mind wants. People do it all the time, the world over.
You can continue trying to force things to happen and manipulate outcomes, and eventually you will probably succeed.
This way is so much harder though. It closes you off to possibilities that might be even better than the things on which your mind is focusing. You are cutting the Universe out of the process, and it can handle this all so much better than you can.
It will probably take a lot longer. It will probably require you to take all sorts of actions that don’t feel very good, that feel very hard or unpleasant in some way.
When we pay such a high price to bring what we want into our lives, we tend not to enjoy the ‘stuff’ very much once it gets there. If the journey feels badly, the destination probably won’t provide much relief.
The Space Your Mind is Coming From
Some sort of lack usually draws us to a teaching like the law of attraction. There are things we don’t have that we would like to have, and there is promise that maybe, just maybe we can get them.
Our wants are typically preceded by a sense of need. We believe this thing is integral to our happiness, to making the bad feelings we feel now go away.
If we feel like something is essential to our happiness, of course we are going to get very attached to making it happen, we are going to feel compelled to take actions to ensure it comes. The problems with these actions is that they tend not to help very much ,or have their desired effect, but that’s a story for another day.
The pain we feel without it tends to get amplified once we start consciously ‘trying’ to manifest it. We get anxious. We get impatient.
We obsess over trying to understand ‘how’ the law of attraction works so we are guaranteed to do it ‘right’ and get our stuff. This thing’s absence looms larger and larger in our life.
Our mind is working from a space of minimizing the ‘ick.’ This ‘ick’ can take many forms–sadness, anger, frustration, anxiety, hopelessness, resentment, fear–and our mind sees the manifestation as the antidote.
We are so desperate for these feelings to go away, and this desperation certainly doesn’t do us any favors in the conscious creation department.
This resistance to our current emotions, coupled with the idea that X, Y or Z is ABSOLUTELY necessary for our happiness creates a recipe for energetic ‘disaster’ if you will.
Of course you are going to try and control outcomes if you are desperate for something to happen, if you feel like you must have it to be happy.
Of course you are going to get attached to anything that shows up that your mind thinks will take away these feelings.
We carry this tendency to want to control everything into this energy ‘work’, but instead of action being the primary form of control, we try to control through the power of our mind, seeing the law of attraction as a tool to bend reality to its precise will.
We easily fall into the trap of thinking that the mere wanting of something will guarantee its arrival. We have an inaccurate understanding of the role that the ‘tools’ like affirmations play in the process, thinking if we do these things enough, eventually our reality will change, no matter how little our energy has truly shifted.
But I’m veering a bit off topic here. So, yeah, your mind is trying to manifest from a space of wanting to make your bad feelings go away, of resisting your current reality, and seeing the manifestations as the answer to all your problems.
This makes manifesting a lot harder; this makes it a lot harder to let go of trying to control outcomes; this makes it a lot harder to walk away from the actions that feel painful, but you feel like you must take or else you won’t get what you want; this makes it a lot harder to detach from specific people and opportunities that have the veneer of giving you what you want, but may or may not be the best match.
So, What’s Really Going On?
A key component of breaking this habit of wanting to control outcomes, breaking your attachments to specific outcomes ,manifesting simply to minimize pain, is a willingness to examine what lies at the root of these behaviors.
And this root is the bad feelings being triggered by the lack of whatever it is you are looking to manifest.
The lack is triggering something already there, something that has been there for a long time probably.
Our mind can’t really understand this though. Your mind sees that you are upset because you don’t have enough money, because you don’t have a boyfriend, because you don’t like your job.
So naturally the answer is the money, the boyfriend or the better job. With this line of reasoning, it all makes perfect sense.
But let’s remember your mind hasn’t got a freaking clue what’s really going on. It doesn’t actually care all that much about whether you are happy; it really has no interesting in healing your energetic ‘wounds.’
It just wants to get what it wants, and sees the law of attraction as a tool to facilitate that. It craves the ego boost that comes from thinking it can control and make things happen.
We’re so afraid we aren’t going to get what we want; we are so terrified of certain outcomes, and we just want to be able to control everything so we never have to face these possibilities, but this fear and trying to control is the very thing that makes these unwanted scenarios most likely to happen.
So, what’s going on inside? How does the lack make you feel? What meanings, conclusions and stories are being assigned to the current circumstances of your life?
When we understand the manifestations aren’t the answer, we don’t feel so desperate to make things happen. That desire to control starts to fade.
We don’t keep ‘mucking’ up the positive energy we are working on building, by constantly looking for our stuff, by letting our current circumstances dictate our dominant energy.
We allow ourselves to truly be open to possibility, and recognize that what our mind wants may not be the best representation of what we really want, and we relax a bit.
We allow ourselves to pull back when things start feeling too hard, or when we start to see we are moving into the territory of control, and ‘trying’ too much, because we know this energy is not conducive to the process.
When we start getting some momentum behind this way of operating, attachment and control will never feel better than letting go and surrender.
You can want whatever you want, but you are no longer looking at these manifestations as some sort of linchpin to your happiness.
If you start feeling better now, you aren’t in such a rush to manifest, and you won’t desperately glom onto any opportunity that comes in, trying to force the manifestation through this channel through bad-feeling actions or focusing on it intensely in a way that probably doesn’t feel very good.
You’ll focus on the true root of the discontent, transform that, and from that ‘cleaner’ energy you’ll manifest with greater ease. Things will come together with very little effort or meddling on your part.
Make peace with the fact that you will probably get attached sometimes, that you will probably try to control outcomes sometimes, that you will get scared something better might not come along, that your mind will insist this is ‘the’ thing.
But just be willing to keep in mind that maybe it’s not ‘the’ thing–maybe there is an even better job, maybe there is an even better opportunity or source of income, maybe your ex-boyfriend isn’t the person you are supposed to end up with, and he came into your life for a different reason, to show you something that will help you let in the person that truly is ‘the’ one.
Be willing to keep in mind you literally don’t know of all the other people, opportunities, jobs, potential clients and other channels that exist. So don’t get too hung up on any one.
The Only Solution
The only thing you can really do is–if at least a part of you believes there is something to all this–make a conscious choice to trust in the process, to take actions, make decisions and behave in a way that reflects that trust, even if it sometimes feels really uncomfortable.
You can’t manifest miracles from a space of minimizing the ‘ick.’
The Universe can’t help you if you won’t let it.
You can’t let in the best representations of the energies you want in your life, when you attach to whatever has shown up in the moment, and try to force it to happen.
The easy way can’t present itself when you insist on doing things the hard way.
You can’t insist on not feeling better until something shows up to justify it; you can’t keep using the current appearance of your life as a justification for your negativity and limiting beliefs.
You can’t keep insisting you know ,without a doubt, that whatever your mind wants now is ‘the’ best thing for you.
The energy has to come first. Only then can you experience reality in this easier, more pleasant way.
Your Turn
What did you think? Anything resonate in particular? Do you have any thoughts on detaching from outcomes and trying to control them? Looking forward to your thoughts as always.
Have a question you think would make a good blog post? Submit it here.
Hi Kellie,
I had a strange happening today and its left me abit concerned. My desire, i have been doing quite well, ups and downs BUT today i learned something that shocked me and totally against my core being- treatment of animal. – i in my mind and strongly proclaimed, i dont want him. Then rationale thinking kicked in, maybe not true, maybe, maybe, maybe. But that string feeling of not wanting this scared me.
What have i done to my manifesting. (I only wish my working on manifesting was as strong). Have i destroyed months of a path ive walked on? Ive done well- no i am worried one moment has destroyed it. Why would a flag come up – this desire is so positive in other ways. Im not only worried, scared but confused.
Thank you,
Christina
Yes, Kellie. What if you change your mind and / or have gone off the boil for your desire? Is there a exact way to say “sorry but change of heart” then). 1 change your mindto decide on the desire, still). 2 Can you accidently cancel out your manifestation? Or like Christina, get a shock, have the flash thought, then regret.
Liked the comment above.
Hi Helanna
You will find yourself changing what you want all the time as you get more clarity, as you manifest from a ‘cleaner’ space less cluttered with pain-minimization motivation, ego-based desire, fear,etc… The way I see it, the Universe is responding to your energy, not the specific things you are asking for. So don’t worry so much about the specific manifestation, focus on whether your predominant energy would allow the things you want–the love, the money, the better opportunities,etc…The more specific we get, the more painful this process tends to be, and the more anxious we get.
HI Christina
It sounds like you thought the manifestation of the relationship–which is what you want at the core, and not even that really, but love,etc…–was going to come through this person. Specific issue aside of the animal situation and what happens with that, the most important thing to keep in mind is the purpose he served and maybe he wasn’t meant to be ‘the’person but there to show you something else. It sounds like a lot is being triggered here, and you need to look at it. If you are having this strong of a reaction to this thing not working out, it shows there is still some ‘stuff’ there, like fear in particular.
You’re so on point with this post, Kelli! Making decisions, acting and behaving in a way that reflects trust has been a true game-changer for me. Even though it was only recently that I started making that shift, and practicing letting go and staying open whenever I felt like I wanted to be too much in control, the results of that shift have already blown my mind. So many good things coming so easily 🙂
Hi Joanna
Thanks for your comment and I am so glad you enjoyed the post. That part of the process can be the trickiest because it doesn’t feel natural and ‘logically’ our mind may not think that is the right way to go. Now that you are getting that evidence, it will be easier to keep moving in that direction.
“The more you feel you need to do this, the more likely this thing isn’t ‘the’ thing, and this mode of operation will be the very issue keeping ‘the’ thing from coming in.”
This says all. This is a wonderful and eye opening post. You have explained so well what most of us go through when we start working with LOA. We do everything but the inner energy work which is the KEY for things to move. What I have experienced is once you start realizing and practicing energy work it doesn’t really matter what you get and what you don’t in object form as such. You are just fine with everything you are and everything you have right now. Then things start moving on their own. Attachment with end result dissolves. And strange is whatever suppose to come into your reality will make itself known to you somehow without you having to look for it. I think this is where our inspired action comes in. Wanting and getting attached to end results just slows the process and brings frustration.
I really liked the points you have made here and examples you gave. It all makes sense. Especially getting crazy after finding perfect tools. Thank you for another great post.
Hi Rhea
Wonderful, insightful comment as always. What you said about feeling okay as you are now is so spot on. I think people get scared about that, thinking they are being told to just make the best of your life now and then without the ‘wanting’ things won’t change. But the exact opposite happens, and things come so much more easily!
Hi Kelli
Great article!
Sometimes what happens with me is that I vibrate really high and keep my energies high. However when I get in contact with people in general they dip down. It’s nothing that they do just my energies dip. How can I combat that?
Hi Ragini
That happens to most of us. Very few people have such a stable vibration that people and other outside influences have no effect on it ever. The key to achieving that greater stability is paying more attention to what is being triggered when the energy dips. Why in particular did you stop feeling good? It is also possible you are trying to force a higher energy than you are accustomed to, and again, because it isn’t stable, it doesn’t take much to get knocked out of it.
Hello Kelli,
Awesome! I can relate it to my self. I have been going through lack of energies i.e. I am charge up with energy, I can make things done perfectly, but when I am supposed to face the public, their the time goes down. I feel to shatter .
This has been the story since my child hood. I do not know but still I fear to go beyond the public speaking.
There are things which are going to happen anyway, we can not control them. But we can face them.
Thanks for the share.
Shantanu.
Hi Shantanu
Thanks for your comment and sharing your experience. It sounds like you have a bit of a self-confidence issue, which we all do to some degree. When we find ourselves being triggered in certain situations, and want to change our overall behavior, it is good to work on the energy in ‘private’ so we can build some momentum. When we try to change in the moment and the energy is already moving in the other direction, it is harder to shift it.
Hi Kelli,
I just want to say that I will definitely need to go through this post again. I’m having trouble putting my mind around the concept of faith in the universe. I am one of those who believes that I, and I only, control my outcomes based on my action or lack of action.
I like the idea of the “force” as a Star Wars fan, but to honestly believe it is real is another story, much like the idea of a higher being controlling my destiny.
I follow Ryan quite a bit and he talks about facing fears head on and getting rid of them, which I believe is your meaning when talking about not minimizing the “ick” but getting rid of it altogether. Correct me if I misunderstood this.
I’m going to have to really start reading more into these Laws of Attraction and maybe I’ll be able to make some sense of them in the future.
Thanks for giving me something to think about going forward.
Have a good one……Chris
Hi Chris
Thanks so much for your comment and sharing your thoughts. I do think we ultimately control our lives, but by the way of our belief system and where we focus our attention. I think our actions are a manifestation of that energy in that something from within is driving our choices, behaviors and decisions, and how easily things come together is a result of how well aligned we are with our goals on that energetic level. To me, the process of attraction is neutral in that we get back what we put out there, and the Universe is like a co-creator with us. I think when people get a better sense of what this teaching is all about–lots of misconception in my opinion–they can certainly apply the information to better their lives, regardless of belief system. Just keep on exploring whatever teachings resonate.
Hi
Great article once again!
So I have asked God for something, believe that I will get it (even though its not something ordinary) and I am waiting to receive it.
However, I am expecting it everyday. So how to deal with this phase of expectations.
Hi Ragini
If that is how you are feeling every day then you actually don’t trust it will come. Most of us don’t 100 percent and that’s fine. But that is something you want to give a bit of thought to. If you ordered food at a restaurant you wouldn’t anxiously wait in anticipation–you placed the order and you know it’s coming. I’m not sure what you asked for specifically but just be open to the form it shows up in or the channel through which it gets delivered–it might be different than what your mind is anticipating.
This described me to a T. I’ve thought all these things, so I tried to focus on being happy & feeling good but every time I felt happy & positive something bad would happen & mess me up. I thought feelings good was supposed to bring good to us. I’m trying to change my perspective & see that there is a reason for everything. I’m not sure I understand what aligning my energy means? Can you help with this? I really appreciate this article it has helped me extremely see some of the things that I am doing. So thank you very much!!
Hi Priscilla
Without speaking with you personally I can’t know what is happening exactly in your life or in your energy, but here are a couple of thoughts:
1. Don’t be so quick to judge what shows up as ‘bad’ as it can help you see something in your energy, or actually lead to a positive outcome in some way. For example, someone getting fired from a job they really don’t like anyway might not be such a bad thing if it leads the person to do something that makes them happy. If we manifest a situation that shows us a limiting belief that would hold back the things we want manifesting, it is good we were made aware of it.
2. Try to focus on the bigger picture of making inner changes and don’t get too caught up in what shows up in the immediate moment–while it is helpful to pay some attention, it’s not good to get too caught up.
3. Try to focus on feeling better overall and not using your positive emotion as simply a means to manifesting something. It’s okay that we want certain things and that is kind of our motivation, but when we simply use it as a means to an end, it is a lot harder to remain in a more stable, positive energy because we are still primarily living outside in, waiting for things to show up to make us feel better.
Hi Kelli, I really love your blog! Thank you for it. So, I’ve known (and applied) superficially LOA for about 10 years, but only this year I started really studying it. I read books and blogs, I watched tons of vídeos and stuff. And I’ve been trying to manifest something specific for these 8 months of this year. I’ve tried a lot of stuff, a lot of techniques, and lately I’m just trying to let go. It’s been really dificult because I feel like I’m putting too much energy on it. Even though I’m letting go, I feel like I have to be vigilante about my emotions, and I have to keep my vibration high no matter what (control my emotions, and not just let them happen naturally), etc. I got to a point where I’m so tired. I’m so tired of trying not to feel upset about things that get me upset, and being vigilante about my trust, and constantly having to reasure myself… I’m having so much trouble with this. I guess especially because little non-important manis happen all the time (which makes me want to apply loa even more), but then my one specific mani not only seems not to be nowhere near, but also seems to be getting further away. And I try not to be looking for evidence of anything, but most of the time it’s just there, I can’t help noticing – or I need tô waste more energy being worried that I can’t be noticing that evidence that something is nowhere near (or lack of it being even on its way). So, I keep having to reasure myself, and to watch my emotions and vibrations, constantly! That’s been getting me so tired, everytime I have to get myself back on track I waste so much time and energy. I don’t know what else to do to teach myself to not care… Well, any insights on that? Thank you!
Hi Daniele
Without speaking with you and having more personal detail, I can only give really general advice. You might consider booking a session if you wanted more personalized guidance. But here are a couple of thoughts:
1. Many of us wrongly view the LOA as a ‘tool’ to get stuff rather than a Universal law that has been operating in your life this whole time with the main issue being we were unaware of the impact of our inner world on the outer. This knowledge is very helpful and the use of various tools, like affirmation and visualization can help strengthen energies that would allow the things we want to show up more quickly and easily–they are meant to help change energy, and if the energy isn’t changing, your reality won’t either, no matter how much you are ‘doing’
2. Remember actions are a manifestation of energy, not independent of it, and exist on the level of ‘effect’ not ’cause.’ So if you aren’t feeling good taking the actions you are taking, that indicates you are already out of ‘alignment’ You might consider pulling back from a bit, regrouping and seeing what you feel inspired to do.
3. By being attached to something so specific, you are trying to control the ‘how’ of your manifestation. This will almost always be painful and frustrating, and is the very thing that blocks what you really want coming, whether it is this thing or another representation of what you are ultimately after, which is a feeling.
Hi Kelli!
First of all, thank you very much for your blog and for everything you write/say about the loa. It’s clear, sincere, and you describe struggles and feelings in an incredibly accurate way. It’s helped me a lot.
There is one thing I just don’t know what to do with though. After trying and trying again (without success) I thought I’d ask for your advice…
I’ve been trying to manifest a relationship for a long time. I’m 41 and that’s the problem: I am 100% convinced that my age is a massive obstacle and that I won’t attract anyone. No matter what I do, this belief is extremely strong, it doesn’t go away. I see it as THE obstacle to everything.
And there’s of course the problem of fertility which makes it very very hard for me to let go. I have about ten seconds left to have a baby and it’s practically impossible for me to ignore the pressure of time.
Any advice is very welcome as this belief and the lack of time have been preventing me from feeling confident and well and therefore manifesting my love.
Thank you so much in advance!
Hi Annabelle
Thanks for your comment and I am glad you find the content so helpful. This is a very deep seated issue with lots of ‘stuff’ going on so I can’t address it all in a blog comment, but I can give some ‘broad strokes’ that you might find helpful. If it resonates, you might find a coaching session really helpful since that one on one time can get you some more personalized insight. If you enjoy my take on this teaching, you might also find my Manifesting a Relationship course helpful as I think it might help you get into a better head space about this aspect of your life.
1. Manifesting should not take any ‘trying’ It is all done on an energetic level. Now, we may ‘do’ things to help our energy such as affirmations, visualize,etc…but in and of themselves these actions have no power. They are meant to help us shift energy, and if that isn’t happening, it doesn’t matter how much you engage with these tools
2. Obviously lots of fear here since you feel like you are running out of time to have a child–this suggests you are likely doing this work from a space of intense resistance to your current reality, and that is always going to be painful. You will really have to let yourself dive into the fears you have around not finding a partner and being able to have a child, to investigate the stories and meanings surrounding your status as someone who is single and without children.
3. That your age will make it harder to meet someone is just a false belief and nothing more–it has power because it is something that many people believe, but again, not true. People meet partners at all stages of life.
Number 2 is going to be the most important thing.
Thanks for taking the time to reply Kelli, I really appreciate it.
I’ll certainly check the course you mentioned.
When I was saying that I tried and tried again, I was talking about getting rid of the specific issue of my age, sorry I wasn’t clear. I´ve never managed to shift this specific limiting belief and it’s annoying because it affects my vibration obviously. But I also realised that when I feel happy and when I focus on nice, positive stuff, this belief is not as strong. I´ll keep on doing that…
Thanks again!
Hello Kelli, 🙂
wonderful and helpful article as always! There has something which i couldn’t understand pretty well though.
You said we will stop taking bad feeling actions and at the end of the article, that we might start taking actions, decisions that may feel uncomfortable.
So what is the difference between these both actions?
For example right now i can say that i’m doing some stuffs because i KNOW somehow they will be good for my health, my body and will help me, but they aren’t making me pretty happy or i’m not taking so much pleasure. ( I practise Yoga , but i do not enjoy it a lot because my whole body hurts )
Thank You in advance!
Kind regards.
Hi Sandy
There is really no straightforward answer to that. It all comes down to how we feel. Only we can know the difference between an action that truly feels bad and that we really don’t want to do and something that may feel uncomfortable but we feel inspired to take, that we know will be beneficial in some way. If you really don’t enjoy yoga, you don’t have to do it. There are many other ways to exercise, get a healthy body, etc…
Hey Kelli,
Thank You for the quick answer!
I understand now. It all comes down somehow to our inner voice, to our intuition lets say, which i think is ones of the most challenging things to understand and ”hear” , but i hope that with every little step forward and shifting in our energy it becomes clearer. 🙂
Exactly…that inner voice. Ultimately, the ‘uncomfortable’ thing feels right, feels good, feels exciting,etc…you just know it is something you want to explore.
Kelli,
This was a really great read and very enlightening. At a young age, my parents split and I was left to pretty much fend for myself around 16. I jumped in and moved in with my ex to have ‘someone’ there for me who I cared about and I thought wouldn’t leave like my parents did. He became abusive and unfaithful and I finally had left. Next came along a guy who talked a big game, won me over, moved in with me and turns out was a liar about all aspects of his life. The next dated then put me on as a friend after moving in, strung me along and used me and my home. Followed then by an older man who took care of me, but was a narcissist and used my good heart against me while cheating on business trips etc. And now to present day – I met someone younger who, I felt I had chemistry with who was a good person. After a few months he insisted there was no future with us and he was young and wanted to date other people. A year and half now has gone by, for a year it was just us and he didn’t date anyone else. All the sudden he has decided to cut off things with me and ‘move on.’ He denies there was any attraction or chemistry with us. I’m now left so confused and feel I’ve only have had horrible relationships. I’m at a loss as to what to do. They all had pulled away at some point making me feel desperate to keep their interest or to know their next move, so I’m not LEFT again and again. Please help with any insight, I’m 36 and a good hearted person, I really want to be happy and not alone 🙁
Hi Lynn
Without speaking with you personally I can only go very general with my insights. From what you wrote here, you seem to have an intense fear of people leaving you, and LOA 101, you can’ attract people who want to stay. This sort of stuff seems so obvious but in the thick of our issues, our emotions run strong and we can’t see the most basic of our problems from an energy-perspective. You need to focus on the inner transformation that will naturally make you a match to the people you want, not just trying to get something you don’t have–these are two very different journeys. This is when we get the really good stuff, the great relationships. Remember your relationships are just neutral feedback of your energy and be careful of the story you are telling around your circumstances–like being a ‘good person’ who attracts the jerks as a common example. If you resonate with my perspective and you’re willing to focus inward, I do have a program that is all about the loa and relationships. You may want to check it out and see if it seems like something you would benefit from https://www.livelifemadetoorder.com/blog/blog/manifesting-a-relationship/