Get Out of Your Own Way: How We Sabotage Our Happiness Part 2

Welcome to part two of learning how to get out of your own way, and start being happier, whatever that means to you. Gonna skip my usual post-within-itself intro and just jump right in. Enjoy!

Giving Away Our Power

In countless situations, we give our power away, and let our experience be shaped by forces outside us; we grossly underestimate the ability we have to mold our lives in the way we want. We go through life blaming others for our problems; the idea of personal responsibility is not a popular one among many.

I have seen countless stories about people who have suffered the greatest tragedies and challenges, and who have come from areas of the world rife with poverty, war, and all manner of terrible things, rise above all that, and create these amazing lives for themselves. Some of the most successful people in this world started out poorer than poor.

How were they able to do this? They harnessed that amazing power within themselves—a power that resides in all of us— and didn’t make anyone responsible for the outcome of their lives except themselves.

When I look around and see people in much more comfortable, and advantageous, circumstances squander the opportunities they have to make things better, it kind of floors me a bit.

They bitch and moan about the government, the economy, their parents, and all these other external forces that are making their lives difficult, and are holding them down. They are so unhappy, yet do nothing about it, even though there is so much they can do about it.

I am not arguing with the fact outside circumstances can impact us—they surely can. But, we always have that choice on how to respond, and to take matters into our own hands; we may be thrown for a loop, but it is up to us to regroup and take the reins.

It probably won’t be easy; it will probably make you feel really uncomfortable. But, no matter what is happening now, making things better is an option that is always available to you; you just have to decide to take it.

This can be a tough pill to swallow, and a sentiment that can make people a bit angry. But, wouldn’t you rather adopt a belief system where you have control over your life, and can overcome any form of adversity, than one where you are a victim always at the mercy of something outside yourself?

Being Ungrateful

Gratitude is something I have talked about several times before in different posts, and with good reason. It is a key component of being a happier person and making positive changes in our lives. Like anyone else, I take the good for granted; I am so used to certain things being in my life, I don’t realize how lucky I am to have them.

But, over time, I have become much more aware of these tendencies, and feeling grateful on a regular basis is becoming more natural for me, and the impact it has had on my life cannot be adequately expressed in words. Lack of gratitude sabotages our happiness in countless ways.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting more out of life—I think one of the purposes of our existence is to grow, expand and have as many experiences as possible. The desires that reside in each of us are there for a reason, and are like little guideposts showing us the way to our best and happiest self. So, make it a priority to go after the things you want.

But, our desire to want more can get a bit screwy sometimes—it causes us to always focus on what is missing in our lives, what we don’t like, and what we wish was different. We dismiss all the good things because we are so used to them or feel entitled to have them.

We could be so much happier than we are if we really tuned into all these great things on a regular basis; our whole outlook on life would change dramatically.

And I’ll let you in on a little secret— one of the keys to getting more in life is being grateful for what you already have. Gratitude creates a wonderful energy that opens up the channels of receiving and allows the mysterious forces of the Universe to bring you all sorts of great things you want.

Limited View of Ourselves

Our limited view of ourselves, and what is possible for us, is a major saboteur. Over the years, we have had certain experiences, held certain beliefs and internalized certain opinions and comments of others , that have contributed to a wildly inaccurate picture of who we really are, and that of which we are capable.

Looking back on your life, you will be able to point to countless experiences that confirm this shitty view, and this can make it hard to break away. But, you have to realize that most of your life has played out the way it has because of what is going on inside your head. These beliefs you had about yourself made you act in a way that reinforced them; these beliefs led you to attract certain experiences into your life, and again, they were reinforced by the outcomes.

No matter what you think about yourself, whether it is you are lazy, a failure, lack ambition, can never have a lot of money, are not capable of anything besides a menial job, could never be the freelance writer, world traveler or business owner, etc…know this is just a crappy opinion that can be changed. These limitations are just of your mind, not something hardwired into your DNA unable to be changed.

For those of you that don’t know, I managed to build a pretty awesome life for myself. I have found great success providing freelance writing services, and because I can work from anywhere, I am able to indulge in my intense passion for traveling . Since May 2011, my fiancé and I have been cavorting around the globe, staying where we want for as long as we want.

During this time, we have been to Costa Rica, Peru, Nepal, India, Sri Lanka, Cambodia, Thailand, Vietnam, Malaysia, Indonesia and Laos. I have been housesitting in Fiji for the last seven weeks, and will be here until the end of October.

If you had told me I would be doing all this several years ago, I never would have believed it because there was nothing to suggest that was possible based on how I viewed myself at the time, or what my life was like.

Once I got serious about changing my life, I got really clear on what I wanted, and I held fast to that vision, even though I could not possibly see how it would happen. But, I let that spark of hope and optimism burn brighter; I worked on changing my belief system; I was willing to have some faith, and believe good things could happen. I’m sure glad I did.

Once you start thinking differently about yourself, and your life, your outside experience will become different as well—it has no choice. What has happened up until this point in your life has no bearing on what is possible moving forward from this very moment.

So, that’s all I have to say about that–well, definitely not all, but need to keep the posts at a decent length!

In your own life, where you do you think you are self-sabotaging? If you are someone who has overcome your tendencies, how did you do it? Please let me know if the comments section.