Repelling Awesome:3 Crappy Beliefs Keeping You From What You Want and Deserve

Like anyone who has something particularly great in her life, I often forget how great it is. We get so used to having certain things or living a certain way, we kind of lose sight the awesomeness. For the last 3.5 years, my fiancé Ryan and I have been traveling the world, supporting ourselves with freelance writing, coaching and other ventures.

It was my ultimate dream and I managed to make it a reality. I love my life, but it isn’t until I have a conversation with someone who hears about it for the first time, that I realize how ‘used to it’ I have gotten at times, and how I have periods where I forget just how amazing this whole experience is.

Most of these conversations entail a discussion of how we went from doing what we were doing to something considered pretty unconventional. And, while there were many factors at play, the whole she-bang was put in motion by evaluating, and then, shifting, various beliefs I held that told me this type of life wasn’t possible, that I was not the type of person who could do something like this,etc..

Everything in our experience stems from what we believe. Unfortunately, many of the beliefs we hold are kind of crappy, and disempowering. We believe we can’t have what we want, the majority of our experience will be dictated by forces beyond us, we are not good enough or can’t have certain things because of who we are.

The good news is, beliefs are not indisputable facts. They can be changed, and then our experience will follow suit. I know this can be easier said than done. After all, these beliefs are very deeply ingrained, and you will find no shortage of ‘proof’ that validates them. You can point to all the bad things that happen to you, those close to you and people the world over, and say ‘see, I’m right, what I believe is true!’ And, yes, you are right because whatever you believe will be true for you. If you were to adopt more positive beliefs, you would have experiences that validate those beliefs too, and you would find plenty of examples in the world at large.

So, if you can believe whatever it is you want, and your reality will begin to mirror these beliefs back to you, wouldn’t it be a good use of time to cultivate some happy, shinier ones that will bring more awesomeness into your life? I think it would be.

You will probably not drop your current belief system overnight, and that’s okay. All you need to do at first is plant that seed of doubt the beliefs you hold now, may not in fact, be true. Then, you can plant the seeds of more empowering beliefs, and they will begin to sprout, so long as you make the effort to nurture them.

Using Your Experience Up until Now to Determine What is Possible for the Future

The idea that our experience up until now is an indicator of what is possible for the future is based on the faulty belief that things outside of us are responsible for our lot in life, that we have limited control over our ‘destiny.’ Some people are ‘lucky’ and some people are ‘unlucky.’

Again, we take our experiences as ‘proof’ of our limiting beliefs, not realizing that our world is created from the inside out. We look back on all the bad relationships, failed business ventures, series of dead-end jobs, thwarted attempts to improve ourselves, and conclude this is ‘just how it is.’ We can’t possibly see a particular aspect, or our life in general, getting better because it has never been good. What would make our next attempts any different?

We have a very limited view of ourselves and what is possible for us. Our current filter is pretty clogged up, and we can’t possibly see how we could move from a housewife to successful online entrepreneur or an office worker to digital nomad cavorting the globe. And, because we can’t see it, we make no attempt to go after it. We get those little sparks here and there, but we squash them immediately. We have given up before we have even started. We resign ourselves to a life we don’t want because we wrongly believe we can’t have anything different. Again, we think this is ‘just how it is.’

But, this isn’t ‘just how it is.’ If even the smallest part of you can buy into the idea you created this life for yourself based on your predominant beliefs and feelings you have had all this time, you discover the awesome truth that changing your internal world will automatically result in a changed external experience. Everything happens from the inside, so when we shift what is happening in there, the outside has no choice but to change. If I am driving a car, and I steer the car towards the left, it can’t go right.

You realize it doesn’t matter what has happened in the past, because you don’t have to be that person anymore; you don’t have to buy into the crappy beliefs you have all this time. You can wipe the slate clean at any time, and begin again.

Ryan and I didn’t just emerge from the ethers living this life. After working a series of office jobs, he spent several years as a security guard in a shipping terminal. He recounts how at that time, he knew how to check email and ESPN. Now he is an authority blogger who has written seven ebooks in the last four months..yeah, seven. He is a coach who teaches others how to find the same success he has.If you are a fellow blogger, I highly recommend checking out his site for amazing tips.

I worked a few office jobs in my day, and then just one day decided to teach English in Japan and four months later I was gone. That experience really set everything in motion, and I eventually lined up with freelance writing work, and now I also offer coaching to help others make the same amazing changes I have. We’re not special in any way, we just worked on our mindset. And that shift in mindset led us to making different decisions, and lining up energetically with our desires. And, here I am typing this post from an amazing house in a Balinese village, where I get an up close and personal view of the life here. And the thing that set this all in motion was simply a willingness to see myself differently, and believe that by changing what was happening on the inside, I could totally transform the outside.

It’s Too Late

If you are one of those people who lament it is too late to really make any big changes, or go after the things you want, I’m here to tell you this is a load of hogwash. If there was nothing left to shoot for, if there was no more growth to be had, you probably wouldn’t be here anymore. The whole purpose of our life is to get in touch with who we are, and do the things that make us happiest– so if you’re still breathing, you still have work to do, or you would have made your transition to the non-physical form or whatever you like to call it. That’s what I believe anyway.

May certain desires have to be modified based on your current circumstances? Possibly. Have some ships sailed for good? Maybe. But, this certainly doesn’t mean you have no shot at happiness anymore, or you can’t create a boatload of awesomeness. Come up with some new dreams—I’m sure you can cook up  something that will make you feel just as good. Remember no matter what we want, we are ultimately after a feeling, and there are countless things we can do to create a particular warm and fuzzy.

So, what is it you would like to do, but you feel you can’t? Is it truly can’t or is it more like won’t because it seems too uncomfortable to go for it? Working with the current framework of your life, how could you work these wants into it? What can you start doing today to feel like you are moving towards what you really, truly want?

Changing Course Now Would Mean My Relationship, Career, Education, etc… Was a Waste/Failure

This is a huge crappy belief that can really screw with our lives in countless ways. Lord, the things we make ourselves do because of it!!! We look at the time, money , energy and resources we have put into a certain endeavor, and the idea of ‘abandoning’ it strikes us as being a huge waste of time or sign of ‘failure.’

But, there really is no such thing as failing, and no part of our experience is ever wasted. If you look at the experience of living as being all about the journey, and not an exercise in reaching some end point where everything is ‘figured out,’ it becomes very clear these sorts of sentiments are kind of nonsensical. Everything that happens in your life is there to you learn more about yourself, fine tune your vision, live more authentically and just be happier overall.

So, if something is no longer working for you, it’s okay to let it go and move on. This part of the ride is over, and it’s time to set your sights on something else.

Don’t stay in a career you don’t like because you went to school for it, and would feel like your whole education meant nothing, if you were to change course.  Don’t stay in your job because, even if you don’t like it, you are ‘good at it.’ Being good at something doesn’t mean you have to do it.

Getting a divorce doesn’t mean you failed at marriage. If you think the relationship can be salvaged, go for it. It is certainly possible you and your spouse can work through your issues. If you don’t think it can be saved, again, you didn’t fail. You and your spouse are just no longer a match to each other vibrationally for whatever reason. Just because you don’t stay with someone until your last dying breath doesn’t mean all your time with that person was a waste.

If you feel ready to move on, and you simply don’t want to work on repairing the relationship because you are no longer interested in having it, that’s okay too. This idea a marriage must be worked on, and that we absolutely have to save it at all costs, can be a very harmful sentiment depending on the type of relationship and people involved. Some people get married, and just aren’t meant to stay that way, and it’s okay.

If you are running a struggling blog where you no longer resonate with the content, but are forcing yourself to power through, even though it has become a huge energetic drag, because trashing it would mean you wasted all that time spent on it–so not true. Giving that blog the boot and starting a new one where you write content that makes your heart sing will net you faster results than you had ever seen with your previous effort. The lessons you learned from this less-than-successful endeavor can be applied to your new site.

Stop doing things that make you feel badly, and you don’t want to do, because you mistakenly believe doing otherwise would be a ‘waste’ or equate with ‘failing.’

We hold onto situations that don’t make us happy for fear things will get worse if we let them go, or we won’t get what we actually want, so it is safer not to risk it. We trudge on when things are no longer working in hopes it will get better, but they can’t turn around if we are harboring beliefs and feelings that contradict what we actually want.

But, you have no idea how your world can change when you let go of these anchors holding you down. The energetic shifts are amazing; the clarity of figuring out what you want, and letting go of what you no longer do, sets very powerful forces in motion that line you up with your more desired reality. Nothing is wasted, there is no failing. It was all just part of the journey, and it is okay to let it go, and proceed towards the next phase.

Think about all your learned from the situation, and be thankful for that wisdom. Then, use it to figure out the next step. Remember, it’s all a journey, and we can configure it however we want.

So, there you have it kiddies..three of the biggies when it comes to limiting beliefs that mess with our happiness unnecessarily. Hope you enjoyed the post and found at least a couple of good takeaways to apply in your own life. Remember beliefs can always be changed. If you have ones that aren’t serving you, you can change them. It really is that simple. It may not always be easy, but as long as you set strong intentions to change, it will happen over time. And you would be surprised how quickly you can progress without totally shifting..you just need to start.

Please let me know your thoughts in the comments. What limiting beliefs are you  grappling with? If you have successfully shifted a belief, how did you do it? What are you trying to manifest in your life now and how is it going? Looking forward to your thoughts so we can have a chat.