In a nutshell, the law of attraction states our thoughts create our reality, and if we set certain intentions we can get the things we want. How we think and feel determines the experiences we have. The actions we take pale in comparison to how we feel.
This idea can rub a lot of people the wrong way, and inevitably, people start bringing up all the crappy things that happen to people–what about the poor kids that get cancer? What about people who get murdered? They think of all the bad things in their life and get highly offended at any insinuation that they may have been responsible for it.
I’ll be completely honest with you–I will not pretend to have a complete understanding of how the Universe works, and exactly why everything happens, happens in just that way.
I was drawn to this concept because I liked the idea of a belief system where we had control over our lives, where we were not helpless victims of other people, our government and various other outside forces. I did not start studying it with the intention of trying to figure out the entire world. My life kind of sucked, and I wanted to find a way to make it unsuck. If you are so inclined for a deeper understanding of law of attraction, I highly recommend the genius blog of Melody Fletcher.
Once I started reading more about LOA and applying its tenets, my life changed dramatically, for the better, of course. And I believe if you do the same, your life will get better too. Actually, I don’t believe it, I know it. So, if you are even remotely open to the idea your thoughts and feelings can be molded in such a way they help bring you the things you want, go with it. The time will pass anyway, so you may as well spend it doing something that may make your life better.
Reading about LOA will naturally make you question the bad stuff that happens, and that is fine. But, I imagine you are drawn to this concept, and a post like this, because you want to make positive changes in your life. So do your best to just focus on that, at least for now. Focus on the practical suggestions for changing your mindset, and the basic tenets, and don’t stress about trying to fully understand everything. That will just slow you down, trust me.
If you start seriously trying to make changes, and strengthen your attraction magnet, you may notice something a bit unpleasant. Things may seem to get a bit worse before they get better. In working so hard to try and feel good, you may feel anything but. What the hell is up with that?
The Junk is Oozing Out
In trying to improve your life, you will discover like many people taking up this task, that you have a whole lot of internal junk that needs to come to the surface and be dealt with. All the limiting beliefs that have thus far created your experience, need to be identified and reprogrammed. You will be forced to face your fears, doubts and insecurities.
Taking full ownership of the results you have achieved thus far, and fully recognizing the role you have played in how your life has currently played out can be a really tough pill to swallow. I know it was for me. Shifting from a mindset of believing we are not in control, to one that stresses personal responsibility can be quite challenging, and a deeper part of you will try to hold onto how things are now for dear life., regardless of how much you may dislike your life now.
You Asked for Change and You are Gonna Get It
You decided to give this whole law of attraction thing a go because you wanted to make changes in your life. As much as we want change sometimes, we kind of don’t like it. This is why we can chug along in a life we don’t like for years, or sometimes forever. The process of shifting beliefs and energies is serious work, and your outside experience will reflect this.
The Universe may help things along by forcing your hand on certain situations–like you getting fired from that job you were too scared to leave voluntarily. Perhaps conflicts will arise with people whom you know on some level, you have outgrown, or are not the best of company when it comes to making positive changes, and this is the opportunity to truly release them for good.
Since you are new at this whole attraction thing, you may conclude it is a crock of shit–since you started, things have gotten worse! But, trust me, anything seemingly unpleasant that is happening now is necessary to help you move towards whatever it is you have decided you want to bring into your life.
With All This Newness, Comes Lots of Discomfort
When people have asked me how I have managed to get where I am today, one of the first things I tell them is I learned to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Letting go of the old me was really hard–I had so much invested in who I thought I was, and what I thought I believed, even though a lot of it was bad.
The battle between my old thoughts and belief system, and the new ones I was trying to develop, was heavy and heated (and not a battle that has fully ended by the way.) Trying to stay positive and stick to my attraction work, when outside appearances suggested my life still sucked, and what I wanted wasn’t coming, was really hard. It is easy to think this sort of mindset is ”naive,” and that you are being silly.
When you decide to pursue the life you really want, you may be met with ridicule or criticism. People in your life may take your efforts to improve yourself, and your life, as some sort of criticism of their own. You may have to move away from certain people because their negativity makes it hard to keep up your energy, or being around them just doesn’t make you feel good or causes you to engage in behaviors that are either destructive or simply a waste of time.
Manage Expectations
The core idea of attracting the life you want is having very strong expectations that good things will come to you, that your life will unfold the way you have envisioned it. This is very, very important. So, when I speak of managing expectations, I am not talking about being ”realistic” ( I really hate that word) or setting your goals based on the current framework of your life.
When I talk about ”expectations,” I am talking about trying to figure everything out, getting attached to certain outcomes, or thinking things must happen in a certain way. But, you are probably going to do this, and I understand because I did it too. And, it is going to make you feel crappy. But, try really, really hard not to!
For example, maybe you are currently out of work, and you manage to line up a job interview. It has been so long since you got one, and since this opportunity arose after starting your work with LOA, this must mean this is the job you are going to get. You get very attached to this outcome, and when you don’t get it, you feel very deflated. This blind date you are getting set up on must be the one, and when he turns out to be a total dud, you go home, and weep uncontrollably because you are convinced you will be alone for the rest of your life.
Whatever situations begin to arise for you after you start strengthening that attraction magnet, don’t get too attached to them as the way your desire will manifest.
The different ways that the things you want can be delivered to you is infinite–there is no way you can possibly come up with all of them. At best, you can probably think of a handful, and then you will make the mistake of determining that one of these ways is the only way you can possibly get what you want. Then, you may start trying to control things and forcing, and this type of energy will block what you want. Things will go most smoothly if you concentrate all your energy on the ”what” and leave the ”how” to the mysterious, wonderful forces that help you align with your desires.
Creating a life by design isn’t for sissies, I’ll tell you that much. But, I believe anyone can summon the inner strength to make the necessary changes, and create a life that is more in line with what they value and what makes them happy. Simple, but not easy as I like to say.
Kelli. Brilliant!
I can’t agree more. This journey is interesting, I’ve learned to say to myself. “Interesting” usually means totally terrible, sucky, embarrassing, and painful to most but all of this stuff arises on an ego/judgement level. When you are present, and grateful, and detached, you can watch all things unfold with less emotions and more awe and wonder.
As you said, it is not for sissies. Things will change quickly so pull back, stop obsessing over outcomes and learn to be in awe of the manifestation process, and you’ll have so much more fun with this LOA thingee.
Smashing post.
Tweeted!
Hi Ryan
Thanks so much..glad you liked the post. Interesting is definitely an understatement, but you are so right..if we can just learn to detach and take what comes, it is amazing what can happen!
I loved this post so much! So much incredible information… I feel like my views are already starting to shift in the right direction. I have been trying to make a change in my life over the past 3 months to be more positive. It opens up a light inside me that makes me see the world differently. I now find I even come across more positive things (such as this post!) Glad to have found you and all your amazing information!
Hi Ashley
Thanks so much for taking the time to comment on my blog. I am so glad you enjoyed the post. I am happy to hear you are having success with your attempts to change your mindset. It can be slow going, and the bad stuff may still creep in most of the time, but as long as we are thinking good more often than not, we will move towards our goals. It is amazing that you begin to see it is all about perspective, and when you focus on good things, you notice more good. And you find the information you seek with ease..like coming across this post randomly!
Great post, Kelli. Law of Attraction and Karma are more or less synonymous for me. Having studied the Buddhist philosophy, I tend to call it karma, but the rules are the same. We are responsible for what happens to us, and you’re right. A lot of people don’t want to hear that, especially if it concerns bad things happening. Especially tragic things like rape or murder or losing a child. We must be careful with our thoughts. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. You’re great! 😉
Hi Jeanne
Thanks so much. Glad you liked it. You are right..we have to take responsibility for the events in our life, and even if something may have seemed beyond our control, it is still up to us to decide how we will handle it. That we must be careful with our thoughts is sage advice!
we are who we think we are. and self talk goes a long way in the law of attraction to through the universe.
Hi Toni
Thanks for taking the time to comment on my blog. You are so right..what we tell ourselves over and over shapes our belief system, and the results we see on the outside. That self-talk is crucial.
To be very frank, I believe also in LOA and it has been working perfectly for me, but a lot of people doubt it and you can see their lives are always in shackles!
They believe things just happened… Thank you for putting this together and i will definitely come again to read it in full.
It is always good to be frank Frank 🙂 Like you, I base my belief on the fact that I am seeing results and what I know to be true from my experience is that thinking differently made my life different. That is so true..people with lots of problems in their lives,etc..tend to have pretty crappy belief systems. I always find it interesting they never see the connection!
Great article Kelli. And indeed things can get worse before actually becoming better. Sometimes it’s a test of will power. It depends from person to person but if you can persevere when it’s hard you will succeed big time in the end!
Thanks for taking the time to comment. Glad you liked the post. I do believe it can be a test as well, and one we can definitely pass if we stick with it!
Hello,
I deliberately searched for this article because I’ve been doing this work since last Spring and I have still been unable to move into a new home or get a job offer. I’m not in a supportive environment and I want to get out of here so bad. I’m exhausted and tired and I feel lost because I don’t know what to do. I’m just solo tired of the same things happening and nothing changing. I can’t even buy any more groceries because both of my credit cards are maxed out and I have little cash in my account. I’m tired and I’ve been doing this LOA for awhile. I don’t even know how I’m in this position. I did everything I was supposed to do I earned my Bachelors and I went straight into graduate school and the only thing I ever dreamed about was moving to my dream city and I always thought finally I’m going to graduate and get a real job and I’m going to be able to buy a car and a home. But instead, I haven’t been able to find employment(I’ve gone on interviews) and I’m living with parents. I just don’t know what to do I’ve been praying everyday for the past two weeks, I’ve been saying thank you for my job, etc. I ‘m just wishing, hoping and praying, waiting for that phone call for a job offer. I’m tired of going on interviews only to be face with the same anxiety of “are they going to call?”, I want a job offer. I’m so emotionally and mentally drained, it’s hard to keep going and keep being positive and keep doing the processes.
Hi Tressa
I know how hard it can be to be in a place where you feel like other people don’t support you, or make it hard to keep a positive frame of mind. The first thing I would say is to remember the importance of taking ownership of our feelings. We can feel however we choose regardless of people around us. I know that is easier said than done, and all but the most enlightened person will not be affected sometimes by other people’s energy, opinions, etc..
But it is definitely something we can work on, and it does get easier over time. The main thing happening during these moments is our own doubts, fears, frustrations and the like being reflected back to us.
The one thing that jumps out at me here is that you probably haven’t been feeling as good as you may have been telling yourself you have been, and that all the various tools being employed have not actually created much of a shift on an emotional level. We try to make LOA a mental exercise, and do affirmations and all these things we are told will help, but then there is very little shift on the level of feeling, and that is where attraction happens. The tools are good because it helps us redirect focus, but in and of themselves, they are simply a means to an end. They actually don’t have any sort of ‘power.’
One of the best things you can do right now is allow yourself to feel the frustration, anger and fear. Let the emotion out. Be honest with how you are really feeling. It’s okay, it is what we need to do to genuinely raise our energy, and start truly feeling better. Where it sound like you are now to getting everything you have ever wanted is a bit of a distance, but that doesn’t mean it will have to take a long time to see things improve.
You also noted you did everything you were ‘supposed’ to do..is it what you really wanted to do? What is so great about the dream city and is that what you truly want or is it representative of something deeper that would bring you some sort of satisfaction. Don’t think so much right now about what you want, but how you want to feel, because that is all we are ever after. What could you do right now to feel better, to feel those things more consistently. Feelings are accessible to us at any time, which is a great thing.
Points like this are really uncomfortable, but they are also when major breakthroughs and realizations tend to pop up, so I suspect things will start to take a turn for the better. It might be a bit bumpy but all of this coming up is actually an indicator of forward movement.