Law of Attraction: How Can I Feel Better Now When Things Suck?

To what extent can we actually feel better in our circumstances in order to see changes? I ask because I am in a job that I don’t like and that doesn’t pay well. I can’t just quit because I am a single mother with mouths to feed. Is it really possible for me to change my energy while working a shitty job and manifest a better one?

If our inner world is what influences the outer, it becomes clear quite quickly that we have to change inside in order to see change on the outside. If the energy comes first and then the manifestations, our mind’s whole MO of living conditionally, basing how we feel on what’s happening, insisting we can’t feel better until the outside changes first is just not going to fly in the world of conscious creation.

No matter how ‘justified’ our negative feelings about our current circumstances, this won’t mitigate their impact on our energy in any way. Some particularly weird corner of our mind believes this ‘justification’ allows for us to hold onto our ‘shit’ without any sort of consequence, that somehow we can change our circumstances without having to change ourselves in any way. Perhap the Universe can make an exception for us? Maybe it will throw us a bone because it feels badly?

Would be nice but not how it works as some of you may have seen in your own life.

So how do you start feeling better in the face of circumstances that just don’t feel good? How do you look beyond ‘what is’ to what you would prefer instead and begin cultivating that energy when there may not be much in your life to inspire it?

It’s not as hard as we think actually, and this is good because you simply don’t have a choice. 😉

Your Circumstances Really Have Nothing to Do with Your Feelings

Your mind does not get this; it will NEVER get this. It will present brilliant arguments against this idea from sun-up to sun-down and you will be very tempted to listen to it. It is appealing to the part of you strongly identified with it and all its bullshit so it doesn’t have to work very hard to present its case.

You MUST be willing to accept this premise…if you don’t changing your reality by way of better ‘managing’ your energy becomes extremely difficult, and in some situations, almost impossible. The more deeply you accept this premise, the more easily you change your energy.

On the most surface level, are your feelings related to your circumstances? Sure. Something is happening, and your mind is incessantly chattering on about it, saying all sorts of things that don’t feel good and you’re responding emotionally.

The situation is affecting different aspects of your life and your mind is all too happy to point that out constantly, and again, you’re responding emotionally. It’s projecting into the future, and worrying about all the terrible things that will happen if this situation doesn’t resolve itself somehow, if you don’t get what you want, and again, you’re responding emotionally.

But beyond that most surface level, all your crappy feelings have nothing to do with what’s happening, I promise you this. The deeper you go, the more you move away from the outside having anything to do with how you’re feeling inside.

The experience was being put through some sort of filter that was ALREADY in place…the reactions didn’t just come out of nowhere. There was something already there that was triggered by these events. The situation pressed buttons that were already there.

No situation has any true, inherent, objective meaning. It just ‘is’ and we layer a story on top of that based on our past experience, conditioning, culture, belief system, self-image,etc…

Because our mind is severely dysfunctional, this story will almost always be super-shitty. You are always looking at the present, and the future ,through the filter of the ‘past’ which is full of bad experiences that were a result of beliefs and the like that were probably crappy and not serving you.

That you’re not in your ideal job, that your boyfriend broke up with you, that you’re struggling financially, that your business isn’t where you want it to be, that you’re overweight–whatever it is…inherently, means nothing. It’s all just neutral energetic feedback.

But the mind doesn’t understand this, and it tells a story about these circumstances that feels badly.

You’ll never get the better job because you don’t have the right skills, people like ‘you’ can never get ahead, the economy is bad,etc… It is just yet another circumstance in your life where you have ‘failed’ and you’ll always continue to ‘fail.’ You’ll never get ahead.

Being overweight decreases your worth as a person, you’ll never find love, it will hold you back professionally, etc…

Struggling financially means your father was right you would never amount to anything, you’re not smart enough, you’re not good enough, you’re inherently lacking in some way as a person, etc…

When you realize the true cause of your negative feelings has nothing to do with your circumstances, it’s a lot easier to feel better in the moment because you now see the very thing your mind is insisting is the problem isn’t AT ALL.

If the situation isn’t causing the  feelings, it follows changing the situation isn’t the key to feeling better, and again, this insistence we have on holding onto our shitty feelings until something changes seems to make little sense.

When you see it’s the story and not the situation, again, this whole idea you can’t feel better until something changes just doesn’t hold water anymore because it really sinks in the situation isn’t the root cause of the feelings. You see the mind has it all backwards and you stop listening to it, deferring to it, to decide how you should feel.

You can still want to change the situation, you can recognize it’s not ideal and prefer something else instead, but your current circumstances no longer present this seemingly insurmountable obstacle to feeling better in the moment.

You start understanding another crucial premise you must accept…

Your Circumstances are Neutral Feedback, That’s It

The actual process of ‘attraction’ is completely neutral. You are emitting some sort of ‘energetic signature’ and you draw things to you that match it. THAT’S IT.  

Your ‘negative’ manifestations are not punishment for your fears, negative thoughts and other limitations in your thinking. Your ‘positive’ manifestations are not rewards for your positivity, your efforts at changing yourself, your faith, your trust or your belief in the law of attraction and the ‘power’ of the Universe.

When we really understand this, again, you see all the stories your mind is telling about your circumstances are just that…stories–untrue, bullshit stories.

You’re not stuck in a shitty job because life is unfair ,there’s lack of opportunities, or you don’t have a fancy enough education, it’s because somehow your energy is a match to a shitty job–it may be a shitty self-image, unhelpful beliefs around money, you grew up around people in similar circumstances and figured you were destined for the same lot…the list could go on and on.

You’re not struggling with money because there’s not enough to go around, there’s too much competition in your field, you don’t have a big enough budget for your marketing or whatever…you probably hold all sorts of weird beliefs about money, you may have a fear of actually being successful, all you focus on is the people who can’t afford your services…again, the list could go on and on.

You’re just seeing your dominant energy being mirrored back to you, and you have total power to change that energy, and your circumstances have no choice but to follow suit.

This ‘feedback’ is worth its weight in gold as far as energetic transformation goes. Your unwanted circumstances are showing you everything in your energy keeping all your precious ‘stuff’ from you.

Being a ‘successful’ conscious creator means we have to be conscious of our energy. In order to achieve this goal, we must be willing to ‘dissect’ the feedback or things will just stay the same because our energy isn’t going to change in any real way.

Where We Get Twisted Up

If we have any interest in the law of attraction, chances are good we want something we don’t have, we don’t like our circumstances now and we want to attract new ones. No problem. But, how we go about doing this often is a problem–a big one–and because our mind doesn’t understand energy, it can’t see this.

If we just keep trying to ‘attract’ what we don’t have instead of aligning with it by way of true inner shifts, we’re in for a frustrating, painful ride. These are two very different journeys that will have very different results and a very different emotional landscape.

Most of us are on the former journey, and again, our mind can’t see the difference between this one and the second one. It has no idea the power of our energy and no idea the obstacles we create for ourselves when we’re just trying to change the outside rather than trying to change the inside meaningfully which automatically leads to outside change because it’s the true level of ‘cause.’

Trying to ‘attract’ what we don’t have keeps us very externally focused, and usually consists of trying to ‘activate’ the energy we think will bring it to us. We immerse ourselves in all sorts of personal development ‘work’ that we think will create this energy. It usually means we are very focused on what we don’t have and in a constant state of high resistance to our current circumstances. Our positive emotion remains conditional and we usually go right back to our negative feelings when things aren’t changing quickly enough for us or in the specific ways our mind wants them to.

Trying to ‘align’ with different circumstances by way of inner transformation makes us very internally focused; we deal with the energies that have created what we’re now trying to change, we’re dealing with the crap that’s getting in the way emotionally and we start truly transforming.

Positive emotion naturally results without us having to ‘try’ so hard to create it. It just naturally springs forth as we start feeling better and since we have unloaded some of the crap energy, it has space to grow and take root more deeply.

These inner transformations have no choice but to create changes in our circumstances because we are genuinely changing the level of ‘cause.’ All our ego wants are natural byproducts of this transformation and things start coming together without us ‘trying’ so hard to get them.

You may still use tools and techniques, you still may focus specifically and that’s fine–all this ‘stuff’ tends to ‘work’ better in this scenario because the energy you may be activating actually has somewhere to take root and grow.

Which journey are you on? If you’re on the journey of ‘attracting’ instead of ‘aligning’ you want to switch gears as soon as possible.

Start looking within; start doing whatever you can now to feel better in a general way–that creates that more general, broader ‘positive’ energy that lies at the deepest core of all the specific things you want on the surface, and you’ll start seeing movement in all areas.

That more general energetic transformation makes you a match to all sorts of opportunities, encounters, insights, clarity, and inspired actions that will get you where you want to be.

Don’t worry about feeling ‘good’ if things are tough right now; just try to feel ‘better.’ Better is always within our reach no matter where we are now. The only thing that prevents us from making these emotional transformations is we keep listening to our fucked-up mind which finds great value in our pain because without it, it loses its control over us. Once you begin to see how it functions, how little it understands about energy, it gets easier and easier to break free of its grip.

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Law of Attraction: How Can I Feel Better Now When Things Suck?

6 thoughts on “Law of Attraction: How Can I Feel Better Now When Things Suck?

  1. Thanks for the post, Kelli and to the woman who asked the question. 🙂 I do really struggle with this: “Your Circumstances Really Have Nothing to Do with Your Feelings”, but I suppose a lot of people do! I like what you said about just trying to feel better rather than feeling good. 🙂

    Zania

  2. Wow… Did you write this just for me?! It definitely feels that way. 🙂 Thank you so much for these helpful and insightful words.

    Ashley

    1. Hi Ashley
      Thanks for your comment. I am so glad you found it helpful and remember you will always manifest the perfect resources and information that you need when you need them…that’s the beauty of this whole system! Glad you found it useful

  3. Wow I must say that is phenomenal information, acknowledging that our feelings are completely independent from our external circumstances can bring great shifts, just that one thing. That means we can be at a state of peace, joy and love at every moment, no matter what, which is sufficient to have a perfect life with everything we want in it.

    1. Hi Anthony
      Thanks so much for your comment and I’m glad you found the post helpful. You are right…that one perspective can be very profound. It is the first step to achieving emotional freedom and being able to stabilize our energy regardless of what’s happening outside, regardless of what other people say and do. That alone sets you up for a whole new reality to take shape since you’re no longer so focused emotionally on the current one we may not like so much.

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