When it comes to working with a teaching like the law of attraction, we tend to get focused on the end result, the thing we want to attract. This is not really an issue in and of itself. The problem is the tendency to try and go about manifesting this thing in a way that might not feel so good, thinking we will feel differently when we get the result.
Podcast #81: Law of Attraction: If the Journey Doesn’t Feel Good, Neither Will the Destination
Okay, Kelli. I’m really negative right now. Does this mean I’m supposed to enjoy studying for the SAT, applying for scholarships, write papers? I don’t want to go to college anymore. As of Monday I want to live in an intentional community such as Twin Oaks. So why do I still feel like I have to plan for “normal” life as if LOA doesn’t exist? Because when I tell people what I really want to do I meet a lot of negative resistance from them. They’re telling me to wake up, live in the real world. Kelli, I really think I’m ready for coaching. I have a dream, it doesn’t involve what other people want, and I’m ready to be done with the college applicaiton game. Done with the school game. Done with the “real world” game.
Hi Amy
If you don’t want to go to college you don’t have to…not sure how your parents would feel about that. If that is an issue with them, the key is working on your own energy so you can manifest a ‘version’ of them where they will really hear your concerns and wants. They may not still fully agree but it may not turn into as contentious an issue as it might be. Sometimes doing what we truly feel is right for us means having to deal with other people not agreeing or understanding. It would be nice to be able to get people on board with our choices but that isn’t always possible. You may have a bit of a rough road ahead but if you can make peace with that, you will allow things to unfold in a way that they can’t if there is a lot of resistance and fighting against what you don’t wnat. You also need to consider beyond the specific wants you have to what you truly want–the feelings and the energy. You may not be able to go into this community right away for example–and if it is something you just decided on a few days ago, the desire can’t be that deeply ingrained–but you may be able to do other things that provide similar feelings.You are at a real crossroads now and you just need to be willing to stay with the discomfort and uncertainty, not knowing how things will unfold but knowing if you are following your feelings and making choices that are in alignment with the energies you want more of, you will be moving in the right direction.
What you said about having to work hard really resonated with me, but for a weird reason. I find myself unwilling to work hard for “me”. Like, I know I need to work out every day because I physically feel better, but I “don’t have time” or “it’s too much effort”. I have trouble getting out of bed early in the morning unless I have a job that forces me to. I want to be a published writer, potentially with a blog as well, but I don’t want to take the time to write because “I’m tired and my job is rough”. So I end up playing video games or watching too much TV.
I am willing to work hard for others, though. I would rather work hard to please my boss than to take it easy and have time or energy do something that I like for myself. I think I might have a limiting belief about needing to put others before myself, or that I’m not worthy enough to do things for. It’s not that I never do things I love; in fact, in November, I did the National Novel Writing Month and wrote 50,000 words. I was so elated that I even wrote 50,000 more in December, but haven’t really done anything since. I want to, but to me, this is more effort than just “decompressing” and watching TV/playing games. So does that mean I’m just working hard in the wrong areas? Is there a way I can shift perspective?
Hi MJ
I think a lot of people can relate to your situation and I have experienced this at times as well. One of the big things is even if we are unhappy in our life, we are very used to it and even the positive changes may be undesirable because even though we see a benefit, it is still new and uncomfortable and easier to just stay in the groove we are in. I get a strong sense of self-sabotage here and the worthiness issue is likely a big part. Worthiness issues can plague most of us to some degree and may not be due to some outright hatred of ourselves or because we did something so terrible. Some people might just feel that way because they dont think there is anything so special about them so why should they get what they want and have more than others for example. I would also suggest examining if you have any negative associations with things you would like to manifest or the positive changes you would like to make–that is often a major culprit in these situations.
Hi Kelli,
This podcast made me start thinking about an issue I’ve been having lately with manifesting and I was hoping you had some insight. I was in a long-term relationship and as of about 6 months ago I’ve been single. I’m really happy being single, as the relationship wasn’t working in the way either of us wanted it to. However, I’ve recently been really open to the idea of getting into a new relationship so I’ve been focusing on manifesting that desire.
The issue I’m having is that since I’ve decided that I want to be in a relationship again, it has become all I can think about, and while the thoughts are generally positive, constantly having this on my mind makes doubts/fears about attracting the right person crop up as well. Before the desire to be in another relationship came along I was perfectly happy being single and enjoying life, and while I am still enjoying life and predominately happy, I feel like since I’ve been trying to manifest a relationship I’ve become way more attached to that desire than I ever was before. Is it possible that trying to manifest something can itself create an attachment to it beyond what existed before? I hope this makes sense and you have some insight that will help. Thanks!
Hi Phil
For most of us, our ‘want’ is usually preceded by a ‘need.’ and a sense of ‘need’ will always make us feel more anxious, feel like we can’t be happy until we get something, make us worry that it wont happen. When you were happy being single, that ‘need’ for a relationship wasn’t there so you were fine as you were–nothing was ‘missing.’ Once that ‘need’ set in, it was a whole different story. I think this will make a great blog post and will probably be my next one, so stay tuned for a more in depth answer!
Thanks for your insight, Kelli. Can’t wait to read what you have to say concerning this!
Hey Kelli,
I have been struggling to find a job. I am trying to manifest a job for myself but for me its hard to believe it that its possible since things have not been working out for me. Its hard for me to get an interview and when I do they do not take me. I am trying to be positive and visualise stuff i would like to happen but i do not know if its possible with my experience and background.
Hi Martina
I understand basing how you feel on what is happening–that is how our mind draws conclusions and decides whether we get to feel good or badly. But it is up to us to consciously choose to reject that reasoning in favor of perspectives that serve us. If we insist on basing how we feel and what we believe on the current appearance of our lives, we have to realize we are choosing to do that. You have to be honest with how you are feeling now and your beliefs–can’t change what we won’t acknowledge. But you don’t want to cross the line into ‘defending’ them based on what has happened so far.