One of the misconceptions about law of attraction is you must get all manically happy immediately or you are royally fucked when it comes to manifesting what you want.
Sure, you want everything you want because you believe getting it will make you feel good, and since we can only attract into our experience that which we are a match to now energetically, we have to work on feeling good in the present moment, and not insist on maintaining our misery until what we want gets here. That was a mouthful wasn’t it?
So, yeah, you have to allow yourself to start feeling better no matter what your current reality looks like , no matter ‘what is’ in this present moment.
But, that doesn’t mean just suppressing all the negativity and pretending it isn’t there. It isn’t about going into denial, and trying to convince yourself you believe all these wonderful beliefs that you really don’t.
You have to actually genuinely feel better, and that can be a process. If you have been in a depressive funk for the last six months where you have seriously considered jumping off a bridge, you won’t be able to just jump right to a vibration of ‘life is so great, the sun is shining and I’m just so happy to be alive.’
A lot of people who have started working more consciously with their energy report difficulty in really making shifts in their energy. The negative emotion has such a strong pull, and it is so hard to feel better in the midst of all the unwanted things in their current experience.
A lot of crap has built up over the years and letting it rise to the surface to be dealt with can be unpleasant. Most of us aren’t very comfortable expressing our negative emotion. We are taught it isn’t appropriate to express it in many cases.
And this is especially true of anger. It is a nasty, ugly emotion that should be bottled up. We really weren’t taught it was okay to feel angry, and as such, we never learned how to express it constructively.
Many anger releases are very destructive, and since that is what we tend to see most of the time, this only adds to the idea that anger is bad. Suppressed anger is a major cause of so much turmoil in this world.
Many people on a spiritual path may feel that they should be past anger and it isn’t an emotion that people operating on a higher level of consciousness should be experiencing. While I am sure there are some people that have managed to achieve this feat, overall I think this is kind of bullshit.
We can certainly make strides in this area without a doubt, and experience it less often and less intensely, but the idea we should strive to eliminate an emotion completely seems a bit much to me. All emotions have value in that they show us where we are focusing our energy.
Yeah, anger is intense and unpleasant and if we can work through our emotional turmoil without getting to that point, awesome. But that always doesn’t happen and we are angry, plain and simple.
It is not something to be suppressed. It is something that we have every right to feel and express, we just want to do it in a constructive way.
There is great value in anger and it can be an incredibly healing emotion…like incredibly, you have no idea.
If You’re Feeling Depressed or Numb…
You are supremely pissed my friend. It is easy to miss the connection though. Feelings of depression and numbness are quite muted, and your energy may feel kind of thick and heavy. Anger has so much charge to it and feels intense. The energy feels more ‘buzzy’ and quick-moving.
But that is without a doubt what is happening. There has been so much shit you have been ignoring or stuffing down, deeper and deeper, the anger has retreated to the deeper recesses of your being. But it is still there, alive and well.
There is a part of you that is aware of it, but to dive in feels absolutely terrifying. The extreme lack of energy that comes with these types of emotional states is also a contributing factor to the continued ignoring and suppressing…you literally don’t have the energy to deal with your feelings.
If you want to move past these states, the anger release will help you do that like nothing else. You have no idea. But, in order to reap the benefits, you have to be willing to examine what is happening inside. What are you angry about?
Once you figure that out and let yourself feel it, you will start feeling a lot better. You probably won’t feel great. You’ll open up a few more ‘can of worms’ emotionally speaking, but you’ll open up some energy, and that sense of hopelessness that comes from feeling depressed and numb, will begin to lift.
This is Not the Time for Being All Enlightened…
In our efforts to better ourselves and be happier and more peaceful, we pick up all sorts of awesome nuggets of truth and wisdom that can completely transform our lives, like learning to cultivate compassion for the people who have hurt us because their acts were borne of their own pain and unhappiness, taking responsibility for our life, and completely owing our feelings and never blaming others for making us feel a certain way.
But, when it comes to really healing ourselves, and releasing the energies that are interfering with the transformations we want to make, and disallowing what we want to show up in our lives, this shit just isn’t going to help.
Trying to reach for these perspectives when you are NOWHERE near them,is just going to shut down a lot of ‘stuff’ that needs to come up, along with the insights and clarity that always accompanies these ‘moments of truth.’
Anger releases are not the time to try and be all enlightened. This is the time to let out all the shit that you are angry about. It doesn’t matter how petty, irrational, mean or hurtful a thought seems. It doesn’t matter how much you should ‘know better’ than to be angry about some of the things you are angry about.
This is the time to just let yourself be supremely pissed about all the things about which you are pissed, plain and simple.
Be mad at your mom for being a shitty parent and making your childhood miserable. Be mad at your ex-boyfriend for leaving you. Be mad that you think your race, religion or sexual orientation has made your life more difficult and has held you back in some way.
Be mad that you’re broke and miserable, and can’t do any of the things you want to do. Be mad that you know how awesome your products or services are, and that nobody seems to be buying them. Be mad that people who are not as smart or talented as you are so much more successful.
Be mad that your special needs child wasn’t born ‘normal’ and it totally turned your life upside down. Be mad at your husband for taking terrible care of himself and checking out on you much earlier than expected.
Getting in Touch with Anger is All about You….
So this means you don’t necessarily have to confront people that have made you angry in some way. The point of anger release is to cleanse your energy field a bit and facilitate healing.
How we respond to everything in our life is all about us anyway, and when we really let that truth sink in, we realize the confrontations, the apologies, explanations of why people did what they did, and so on, are not a necessary part of the process.
Now this isn’t to say there can’t be any benefit to talking with others and letting them know how you feel. It may very well have a variety of positive outcomes, such as healing a relationship that has been fractured or getting a sense of closure from finally saying your piece. But if you are feeling pretty fragile and raw right now, this may not be the best time to do this.
But if you were to go this route, you have to realize you can’t make your feeling better dependent on this person responding in a certain way. The apologies, the acknowledgments of your feelings and what have you can certainly make you feel better, and it is understandable to want them, but they may not come.
If you do feel the urge to confront, discuss and what not, I would highly recommend doing some work on yourself first and getting into a better space mentally and emotionally. Let some of the pain heal. Let some of the resentment fade away.
Tips for Releasing Anger
The key to anger releases is doing them in a constructive way.
This means not just blowing up at your husband because he brought the wrong type of peanut butter by accident.
Like I said earlier, confronting people you are mad at, and totally going ape shit on them, probably won’t feel very healing. You’ll probably just feel worse for a number of reasons, namely beating yourself up for such a ‘non-spiritual’ response and feeling embarrassed.
And it is crucial that you do your best not to direct this anger at yourself. This is not the time for self-loathing and highlighting your various fuck-ups. Yes, you create your experience, but for a large part of your life, you had no freaking idea this was how it worked, and you weren’t doing it consciously. You had no idea what was going on and what you were doing.
If you are feeling really angry at other people, some great ways to release that are talking (or yelling) at them as if they were in the room with you, or writing a letter.
When you feel a build-up, punching the couch cushion or screaming into a pillow can feel really good.
Let yourself scream and cry. Just let yourself feel whatever you are feeling.
Now, since you are not used to doing this, these acts may seem really uncomfortable and that’s normal. The releases may be a bit tempered at first because the idea of yelling at your dead father or wailing at the top of your lungs seems like something only a mentally unhinged person would do.
Sometimes you may want to have an anger release but nothing comes up, and that can feel frustrating. But if it’s there, it will come. Sometimes anger will come up and you’ll have to put a pin in it as it is not the best time to dive in.
You may have a fear if you open the floodgates, you will totally lose control of your emotions, or release them at inappropriate times. This is not likely to happen. You won’t go all Incredible Hulk during your weekly staff meeting, or tell off the woman in front of you in the grocery store for holding up the line with her insane amount of coupons, no matter how much you would love to.
There really is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ way to get in touch with your anger and start letting it out. As long as you are acknowledging it , and it is coming up to the surface to be dealt with, you are on the right track.
It is important to note that this will not likely be a one and done type process. You may find yourself dealing with these releases multiple times over the course of weeks or even months. New things will happen that will make you feel angry and you’ll deal with them as they pop up.
The good news is, you don’t have to totally heal and release every last drop before you can start feeling better or attracting better experiences into your life.
In Closing…
Anger brings us to a place of truth. Anger will break things open like nothing else because in this moment, you are really, truly, admitting how you feel about your life and all the things that have happened that you don’t like.
It is shining a huge spotlight on the various beliefs that have been holding you back all this time. It will heal you. It will get you unstuck and deliver insane amounts of clarity. Anger is a very normal emotion, and don’t ever think you ‘shouldn’t’ be feeling it or you are less of a spiritual person because you get angry. That is absolute nonsense.
Now go get pissed….it’ll be good for you.
Your Turn…
What did you think of this post? Do you think suppressed anger may be an issue blocking your energy flow? What are you mad about? Have you been inspired to get in touch with your anger? Looking forward to your thoughts as always.
Thanks Kelli. This is most timely for me as I had an anger release last night. When I get really angry, I end up crying afterwards. I had resistance coming up hard and fast this weekend past and I felt it brewing, something specific triggered it all. Finally I manifested a bit of a ‘discussion’ with my husband and expressed how I felt about things, and then had a big cry. I woke up this morning feeling so much better. My anger about this issue comes in waves and I think I am finally getting to the end of it.
Hey Bunny
Glad you enjoyed the post. That is a good thing you talked to your husband about some of the things that had been happening, and let your emotions go. I cry a lot too when I feel angry and it is very therapeutic. Like you experienced, sometimes we get triggered a few different times about something and we release bit by bit.
[ Smiles ] Hmm. You have given me something to contemplate on. Suppressed anger can really mess us up; hence the reason we all should be working feverishly to clear up those negative emotions.
As you and I both know, emotions play a vital role in manifestations.
Hi Renard
Glad the post got the mind juices flowing! I know with all the emphasis on feeling good to attract what we want, we can be left a bit confused about what to do with all the negative emotion that we are experiencing and worried it is ‘bad.’
Hi Kelli, I just signed up for your website the other day and I’m on a journey to understand the Law of Attraction. This post is relevant for me because I get angry quite often, over big things, small things, and things that happened years ago. I often get so mad I lash out at a loved one and then feel immense guilt, only to have the same situation happen the next day again! I need to learn to recognize when I’m getting upset, leave the room, try to feel better, do whatever I need to do before I hurt someone. Thanks for this post, Kelli, and I look forward to more of your awesomeness!
Hi Amy
Well, welcome to the blog and thanks so much for taking the time to leave a comment. First off, the anger is all good. Don’t judge yourself for it…we tend to do that a lot. That you recognize the issue and are working on it is more than half the battle right there! I highly recommend meditation…it is great for helping us be more cognizant of our feelings and observe them from a more detached space. When we feel certain things arising, we don’t react automatically like we tend to do. I hope you get lots of helpful information here about LOA…the more we learn about how our reality is created, the types of changes we can make in ourselves and in our life is nothing short of amazing.
Great post. Sometimes we’re concerned that dealing with “negative” emotions like anger or sadness will hold us back. “No! I’m supposed to be an enlightened LOA master!” we say as we wring our hands. Turns out those yucky feelings are exactly what we need to go through (rather than around) to get o the next level.
I went through this last week. I had a total meltdown and spent one evening crying my eyes out. On the surface I was upset about something seemingly insignificiant, but I knew it was begging me to look deeper. So I had some quiet time and started to go on a treasure hunt for limiting beliefs and old habits that hold me back. I looked for ways that I could surrender and let go of the worry and fear.
I don’t think I’m 100% out of the woods yet, and that’s OK. Whenever I’ve had these seemingly dark moments the light on the other side is even brighter than before.
Hi Melanie
So glad you liked it and thank you so much for sharing your experience. You are so right that this idea of what it means to be spiritual and thinking we should be more advanced and know better by now can really mess with our head! I like the visual you gave of the hand-wringing…that is very funny. It is really interesting how those things that seem unimportant actually are carrying huge messages that point to something underlying that isn’t so insignificant. Gotta love how our manifestations are always perfect for shining a light on that inner world. I love what you said about the light being brighter than before…that is so true!
Thank you so much Kelli!
It’s so funny you post about this. Last week I got triggered over and over and over again. I think I got angry more times last week than I have in my entire life. But, I’ve been studying LOA long enough to know to let it out!
I was alone at home every time I did this. I would scream at the top of my lungs. I’d punch the pillows on my bed. Then something else would come up, I’d let the anger out again. My work outs were super productive last week because I took a lot of anger out during those. LOL! I was so exhausted by the end of last week. A small part of me started feeling guilty because of the whole “anger isn’t spiritual” thing. But it is. It’s a part of us and we shouldn’t deny it or suppress it. As long as it’s CONstructive and not DEstructive, we’ll be just fine.
Now I feel so much better and little manifestations are coming in left and right – the floodgates are opening. SQUEEE!!!! 🙂
Hey Summer
Don’t you just love weeks like that? They suck at the time but afterwards we realize how much crap got released and we usually come out the other side with all sorts of helpful information to apply moving forward. I had a few times like that over the last several months. Thanks for sharing your experience and it’s great it was so productive for you. I can feel your excitement and high vibes reading this!
Hi Kelli,
Can you have a proper anger release without screaming or crying loudly or beating pillows? I ask because where I live now, it would be better not to do those things and damage belongings which aren’t mine as well as make too much noise. Is writing a very angry journal entry or just crying ok?
Your post clarified some helpful points for me. I had always read that deep seated anger stemmed from mistreatment in childhood or some type of parent-child conflict. I would always search for these issues and release on them, but always felt there was something more. When you mentioned being angry at things like race and physical condition…this makes so much more sense to me. I am really upset at the conditions I chose to be born into, choosing my place of birth, and most of all, how I look. What trips me a little with LOA is, like you mentioned, trying to be ‘enlightened’ about this. If we choose all of our birth conditions, then who else do we have to blame than ourselves? My trouble with anger releases is that somehow, I usually end up tracing back how I am responsible for whatever caused me to be angry, whether it be not getting something I wanted or having someone react a certain way to me. And then I feel worse than before.
I’ve found that while anger releases (even if it’s just angry journaling, or letting myself feel pissed) can be helpful, sometimes what really helps me out of being depressed is sleeping or crying and feeling upset for however long the feelings are there. They eventually lift sooner than later (in hours or a few days). Writing helps a lot for me, just journaling how I feel, how pissed I feel, sad, upset, down, etc.
Hey M.
You certainly can…those were just some random suggestions and not requirements. Crying is super-therapeutic. I often cry when I am angry and I find it immensely cleansing. Writing is also a great idea. Honestly, whatever works for you…so long as you feel like you are getting the ‘ick’ out…it’s all good. Our anger can stem from so many things and we may not even be aware of certain things until we have some sort of trigger or we realize that while we know we felt negative emotion about something, we didn’t really realize it was anger. I do agree that we choose the circumstances into which we were born, and we create our experience based on our thoughts, beliefs and feelings but we don’t ever want to ‘blame’ ourselves for the unwanted things that happen. This is a very new way of looking at the world and moving through it, and before we had this awareness (and even after because it takes awhile to process and change), we really didn’t know what was going on or how we were influencing our reality.
If you find dealing with anger is not helpful in the moment, don’t force it. If the sleeping, crying or whatever else helps, do that. There is no one right way to do this and we all want to do what works for us. This post was just meant to bring up one possible aspect of blocked energy and how to deal with it.
I forgot to add, part of the reason why I end up directing anger at myself is because I get angry for having done things when I was aware of LOA and how all of this works, when there really wasn’t an excuse.
Also what if you are so depressed that you cannot access anger? Or, even if this sounds twisted, depression feels better than moving forward?
We all get that way sometimes…but we have to remember that getting LOA in theory and doing what we ‘should’ be doing in practice all the time probably won’t happen. It is a process so don’t beat yourself up. We are working through a lot of conditioning and we are ‘imperfect’ humans whose fears, doubts and emotions rule the day sometimes and it just is what it is. If you can’t access the anger, it’s fine. You don’t have to force it. It is just something that people in that state want to be aware of and if it is there, it will surface at some point and the realizations about what you may be angry about will come.
That doesn’t sound twisted at all…even if we are not feeling good, we are used to that and are comfortable in it. But if you do feel that way, that suggests a very deep fear of releasing your present reality for whatever reason because of uncertainty, being afraid you wont’ get what you want or a million other reasons only we can truly know for ourselves. These insights will surely come. I know you have had a rough road but I can tell by your comments that you are making progress.
Thank you for your replies to both of my comments Kelli, I always look forward to reading them. It’s so nice how you reply to all of our comments!
I had a bit of an anger release last night that I expressed through journaling. Writing how I feel on paper really helps to get it out. Sometimes I have trouble trusting that what I want will come, or that I will ever feel permanently better. Visiting sites like yours to read and listen helps to restore my trust.
I still go back and forth between feeling good and really bad, but at least I am more aware of how to move up the scale now. I guess that it’s normal though for everyone, no matter how much one understands LOA, to have highs and lows (perhaps not so extreme)?
I love responding to comments so it is my pleasure. EVERYTHING you are experiencing is normal so don’t worry about that.
I’ve read so much from Melody about the benefits of anger and wonder how it never helped me. You see, I’ve spent most of my life in anger and was quick to get angry at someone internally and even externally. I never feared what society thought about women being angry, infact if I was called a bitch I considered it a compliment. That was back then. I was raised to express anger by mimicking my older sister and it felt better than fear. It was more of a matter of getting in before the other person did. As Dr Phil says “get in before they get you” which was completely unnecessary and actually fear based.
However, I’ve done a 180 degree turn and I don’t like anger anymore. I find it begets more anger. It’s good to get angry at someone in place of fear but when anger ran my life, it created more angry people that mirrored back that anger.
I’m curious why my two favourite LOA teachers (you and Melody) are encouraging more anger release when my evidence shows it mirrors back more reasons to be angry. An occasional release over the big stuff feels sufficient to me. I’m wondering why you both are encouraging us to express more of it if what we feel creates more of what we feel.
Also, scientifically speaking, it has been proven that releasing anger by punching a pillow releases adrenaline which makes us like it and makes us want to punch that pillow again. Are we setting ourselves up for more pain by releasing it? Is there a way to find the Goldilocks (just right) version to releasing anger.
I’ve personally practiced the release recently in place of fear and it felt ABSOLUTELY AWESOME but I find to use it continuously hasn’t been very good for me. I like being the happy girl who focusses on happiness and joy.
How often should we be releasing the built up anger? Is crying another way of releasing anger inplace of awful thoughts. For me, after years of being not only angry but comfortable with violence, the thought of violence feels like I’ve fallen off the vibrational ladder.
Hi Sugar
Thanks for sharing your insights and your experience. It was a very interesting read.
The first thing I would say is in regards to encouraging us to express something negative since we create based on what we feel. It is important to recognize the difference between generating new negative emotion by focusing our attention on things outside of us that make us feel badly and give more power to our limiting beliefs and dealing with negative emotion that is ALREADY there. In encouraging people to get in touch with anger, I am talking about the latter…if people have anger, it should be expressed, in a healthy way of course, not in a way that is hurtful to others and destructive. Some people are very good at processing their turmoil without getting to the point of feeling angry and that is ideal for sure, but if the anger is there, we do want to acknowledge it.
I would also say that there is a difference between feeling anger and dealing with it in a way that helps heal and just being an angry person overall…like you experienced, that just brought you angry people and more things to feel angry about.
As for the scientific stuff, I really can’t comment on that since I don’t know too much about that
. Like anything I write, it is just based on my own experience. If we read something that we don’t agree with or don’t resonate with, then we can just discard that and do what works for us personally.
I don’t believe releasing pain sets us up for creating more pain…I believe it will produce the exact opposite effect. But one thing that may happen which may make things appear this way is that when we do acknowledge our pain and let it out, we may feel worse for a bit because we are no longer in denial and repression. It is kind of like a detox where you may feel all crappy but it will lead to ultimately feeling a lot better.
As for how often to release it, I would say that anytime we feel angry, we should examine it. Not every anger episode will be some dramatic thing…it can be something as simple as admitting you feel angry, let yourself feel it, think a few mean thoughts and ask yourself why you felt angry and then see what insights come.
Crying is a great way to release anger…I cry a lot when I am angry. Ultimately, my point in writing this was to encourage the release of negative emotion as a way to shift our energy and make room for the nicer energies. I tackled anger specifically in this post because I feel it is an emotion that a lot of people are uncomfortable with, especially those who are trying to be more ‘spiritual.’
Great comment and questions!
I think a lot of us forget that on the LOA emotional guidance scale, anger is higher than depression. This is mainly because depression is immobilizing, while anger is galvanizing. When you’re depressed about where you live or who you’re dating, you generally sit around and mope about it; when you’re angry about it, you’re more likely to be spurred into action and do something about the situation. All those lessons I received about repressing anger when I was growing up were very counterproductive to my spiritual development, and it took me about 50 years to realize it! The whole anger thing is often mixed up with forgiveness too, which makes it even more complicated. Release, time, distance, laughter, filling the void with something better… that all seems to help. Great post! Thanks!
Hey Patricia
EXCELLENT comment and I realized reading it I left out a very important point in the post. I may have to go back and edit or insert your comment in there somewhere! You are so right that it is a higher energy emotion and that sometimes feeling good is a process of moving through other emotions that aren’t exactly pleasant but they are a step up. Your description of it being ‘galvanizing’ is excellent.
Hi Kelli
You have nailed this entirely my dear friend with this excellent no holds barred honest post.
Wow I was ‘Royally Fucked’ and I didn’t know it! (I just love your terms of expression!!) Now as you know I have been having a difficult time of late but thanks to you and your advice that I have followed I have broken down a barrier and I have let all my anger shit come to the surface. Sure it was not pleasant to revisit the things that really made me angry and to an extent somewhat I suppressed unknowingly. If you will forgive the expression in the expletive ‘I have fucked them all off’ – the people that had abandoned me,, cheated me, fooled me, humiliated me, ignored me, denied me, do not acknowledge my existence, lied to me, were insincere and chose other above me; so now you can all go and royally fuck yourselves for I held unto your treachery towards me for too long so now I release it unconditionally to make room for the good things to come into me and my life, amen and so be it!
Wow Kelli this feels great whoopee!! Thank you so much for you excellent advice, care, patience, and kindness towards me.
You Irish Friend
Dominic aka John Lennon Cohen
Hi Dominic
I can feel the shift you made just reading your comment. That is awesome you had such a breakthrough. These are the kinds of moments when something permanently changes and you reach a new level and will just keep on expanding. There is no backsliding. You are right…fuck em all…you don’t need them and all the crap they did to you sparked that desire to create your experience more deliberately and want things you may not have been compelled to want otherwise.
Dude, yeahhhh man!
Fuck them all!!!!!!!!
though anger isnt a good thing or rather not a good emotion,it is ok to let it out because supressing anger has never been a good thing to do.
Hi Angela
It is certainly okay to let it out…it can move us into a higher energy
Hi Kelli,
Getting upset is a good release, compared to keeping it bottled up. That’s why I don’t like to supress it. I deal with it then try to move on.
When I used to keep it in I felt like a could explode.
The good thing is once you resolve your negative feelings behind something it typically doesn’t bother you in that way again.
~Lea
Hey Lea
Thanks for your comment. You are right about that exploding feeling…so much energy dying to be released and processed. You are so right that those moments can cause us to make a big shift in how we view these things when the pop up again.
Thank you for the article. I found it really enlightening. Honestly I’m fed up with being pissed off all the time and need to find a way to let all my anger out. I suffered a lot of abuse as a child and it never seemed to get better. I got diagnosed with unipolar depression but not entirely sure if this is accurate. I also suffer from periodic fits that seem like panic attacks but I feel that it is that sometimes I cannot suppress my anger anymore and that’s how it comes out; clawing at the walls and biting through my lips it not symptoms of a panic attack. Will try letting my anger out when and see how it goes. Luckily i have very secluded beaches i can frequent where i live.
Hi Jake
I am so glad you found the article helpful and thank you for sharing your experience. Allowing yourself to feel your anger and negative emotions as a means of healing is very powerful. That is great you have some quiet spots where you can let loose. I have found my study of law of attraction to help greatly with improving my mental health as much of our depression and anxiety stems from feeling like we don’t have control over our experience, that we can’t have the things we want,etc…Once I realized my true power, it really dissipated those feelings. The pain from our past is certainly hard to deal with, but if we can look at it as a catalyst for that greater desire to feel better, we can see how it served us. That of course doesn’t mean being happy it happened or whatever, but just seeing how it allowed us to get on the path of discovering who we really are. Please keep me posted on what happens.
Very helpful! We release anger through rock climbing. When we feel pissed off at someone, we simply head out to the local crag. The angrier we are, the harder we rock climb. 🙂
Hi
So glad you liked the post. Physical activity is an awesome way to let out anger and other negative emotion. That is great you have a go-to strategy that you know will work for you.
Hi and thank you for your post which I am reading at 5 o clock in the morning being too angry to sleep! I was driving for two hours tonight trying to stop an extreme anger I am feeling towards my mother. I think this anger is the main reason for being so alienated from husband and friends lately and being so hesitant about having a baby even though I want it deep inside. It was funny but for one second while driving I thought of simply started screaming but I was in the middle of traffic so it seemed like a bad idea! Recently I started feeling this extreme anger but I mostly think and tell myself that this it is ridiculous and not mature or adult like. I usually take it as a sign of weakness and say to myself that I should have by now grew up and matured instead of obsessing about my mother. So far I have been writing my thoughts and recently crying, which is new as I never cried before in my life… I have suffered from depression and panic attacks but therapy has helped me a lot and I feel that I am progressing on this difficult road called healing. Anger is the most difficult thing for me to challenge, growing up with a mother that could not handle hostility. Thank you for your company and hope on this angry nigh! All the best.
Hi Jinger
I imagine just getting this out helped you feel a lot better. We lessen the ‘power’ of our emotions when we find some sort of outlet and even just leaving a comment like this can help. You definitely seem like you are moving in the right direction. Just let whatever comes up come up…it might be uncomfortable but it beats continuing to be stuck in these energies strongly for years to come.
Kelli–
My sincerest thanks to you for providing a timely and practical key. I have no trouble with introspection–biology and conditioning have made me a skilled over-thinker; however, translating all of this great information I absorb into productive action is often problematic. I have felt for some time the legitimate right to anger but have been trying to unlock the subtleties of using legitimate anger right. This is my single greatest life hurdle at the moment. And as an over-thinker, I often become easily frustrated by my own anger (no, the irony is not lost on me). Anyway, thank you for helping to unlock this enigma and get to baling some psychological hay while the sun shines.
Much appreciated.
Hi Anthony
Thanks so much for your comment. I am so glad you enjoyed the post and found some information that may be helpful for what you are dealing with right now. Right now, I wouldn’t stress too much about what action to take–that is where we usually turn our attention to first given our orientation towards that mode of operating. Turning into what’s happening inside and letting yourself sift through that will naturally lead to clarity when it comes to any actions you are trying to figure out or decisions you may be faced with. The key is embracing the discomfort now, realizing there is nothing wrong with it. One of the biggest problems with teachings like the LOA and personal development in general is this fierce focus on ‘positivity.’ That is what we are working towards obviously but we usually have to chip away at some stuff first to really allow for those feelings and beliefs to take hold in a meaningful way.
i thought i m a better person by not expresing anger, now i see why i m so flegmatic, i m musicoholic, listening relaxing music(not only) evryday, i still think that a god thing, i see people evry day (polish angry people)
they are angry for bullshit things. that is disgusting for me meyby thats why always am calm and hate screaming and be screamed at,, 2 years ago i tended to write hate and curses words in multiplayer games at people who was weak, selfish, coward. now i dont do it anyore , i dont care,
I think i still be calm person but now i think i try some punching bag.
so thanks for those wise words, i hope i will gain some more energy.
Hi Maciej
Thank you for your comment. It is good you realize you may have some anger issues to deal with–I think we all do. It’s a very normal emotion and can be very healing if we can find ways to express it in a healthy way. Letting yourself feel that won’t turn you into an ‘angry’ person so don’t worry about that. Usually when we have really strong reactions to certain behaviors in people or we really judge them for it, it is usually because there is a part of us that shares that energy somehow and we disown it and project onto others. A punching bag is a great idea!
I’m so angry at my parents and my family because they think my dream is stupid and that it’s dangerous and immoral to travel alone as a young lady. I’m bad because I was brought up in this stupid society. I’m so mad at my parents because they don’t respect my highly sensitive charchter and think that I should get rid of it.
Hi Tina
Let yourself be angry–it’s okay.That is the first step to transforming it. It is all too common to think those sorts of emotions are ‘wrong’ especially when you are trying to consciously influence your reality. Just know if you are following your heart, being true to yourself and all of that wonderful stuff, you are doing the ‘right’ thing and their reaction is an opinion and nothing more.
thank you for writting a simple and honest post about ‘silent anger’
i have become a victm of myself in not allowing to express my anger in fear of not beeing able to control what will come out of my mouth or how far things will go – the result beeing of having ridiculous outbursts and shouting about minor things whille feeling depresed and then silent… i prefer to empty my mind and think of anything in an attempet to keep in control of how i feel. I understand that this is unhealthy and damaging `to my soul … i hope to replace the ‘silence’ in my life with peace
Hi Maria
Thank you for your comment and sharing your experience. I think a lot of people have that sort of fear and that is largely because most of our experience of anger, with ourselves and others, is seeing it expressed in ways that are not exactly healthy. But once you allow yourself to start processing it, you will find that many of these fears are unfounded. The other side of anger brings lots of clarity and renewed energy to move towards what we want and make positive change–that is why dealing with it can be so beneficial from a manifesting/inner transformation perspective.
Hi,
I’m obviously writing this way after everyone else’s comments but will write something anyway!! I know why I’m angry – I look to other people to make me feel happy, worthwhile, attractcitve, valuable etc etc and when they don’t (or I don’t feel content with their response) I get angry with them. I think they’re mistreating me, not appreciating me, they don’t know their luck to have me in their life – how dare they take me for granted like this! But deep down I don’t feel all those things – valuable, worthwhile, attractive etc etc so the real anger is because their ‘not good enough’ responses feel like a physical pain / a punch in the stomach. I think I have to work on my self esteem so I can give all those things to myself but it’s so hard because every now and then I go back the original thoughts but I’m going to keep going, I can do this!
Hi Laura
Thanks so much for your comment and sharing your insights. Being able to fully admit the true sources of our anger and other feelings is a HUGE step and that alone can begin shifting things significantly. You are starting to see the behavior of others is not any sort of true cause of your emotions but merely a trigger for something already there. You can certainly do this…just allow your emotions and don’t shut anything down in the name of trying to be ‘positive.’
Hi Kelli
thanks for this article. I have been practicing LOA for quite a while now and thought i was mostly in tune with it. Then tonite i was reading about repressed anger and it made me aware that I still have intense anger towards someone who betrayed me years ago! I thought i was over it but I’m not! So i read your article and thought, ok i’m going to let this out. So I did – by screaming a bit and imagining some bad stuff ( won’t say!) This helped and I think I have finally released some more of it as I felt new energy rushing in to where I’ve been blocked. It also felt really good to admit I was still angry – and justified. I always struggled when people say you have to forgive etc, because I thought that meant having the person in your life again. It feels really good to admit I never want them back in my life ever and I will never forgive them. I just want to release this anger so it doesn’t poison me anymore.. Not sure if that is right, but that’s how I feel… Thanks for your post- its helping me!
Hi Jodie
Thanks for your comment and I am so glad you found the post helpful. You are right…we don’t have to let people back into our lives if we don’t want to. Not all relationships are meant to last. People come in and out and there is always a reason we attracted them. Letting go of all that ‘stuff’ is really for our benefit first and foremost. Being angry and holding grudges can be kind of toxic and the person being punished most is ourselves. That is great you felt some sort of shift energetically. Being honest with how we really feel is really important in this ‘work.’
thank you very much for reply Kelli! that really makes sense!
Hi Kelli,
I’m Shambhavi. Your post is definitely enlightening. I was really angry at someone who I considered my role model and they way she spoke to me one day was so horrible that my image of hers was shattered and I blamed myself for being so trusting and foolish. The way she talked was so horrible that I kept feeling shitty for more than a week. I still feel horrible when I remember it. But then an idea struck me. I have a website dedicated to short poetry pieces that I write. So I went ahead and used that anger emotion to write a poem. I felt so much better after that I tell you, mostly because I ended the poem with a forgiving and letting my anger go type of way; if anyone wants to have a look at it your always welcome. I was so glad when I came across your post because it was like a sign from the universe that I vented out my anger in the right manner. Thank you so very much ?. And yes the law of attraction works so much better and faster once all the emotional negative junk has been cleared out of one’s system.
Thanks again Kelli for a wonderful post. I’m looking forward to seeing more such wonderful posts as this.
Hi Shambhavi
Thanks so much for your comment and for sharing your experience. It is a great example of how we can channel that emotion into something positive and healing. It can be disappointing when people aren’t like we thought they were; it can be helpful to examine what specifically disappointed us or made us upset. I will definitely check out your site and poetry…I am sure it is wonderful
Hi Kelli,
This is such a great post! I’ve been feeling so very resentful lately and went searching for how to free myself from being stuck in it. Growing up I got a lot of “don’t YOU be angry!” statements thrown at me. Internally, I always knew that those were a bunch of garbage, but still stuffed my anger for most of my life. I was looking for a way to deal with my anger without suppressing it. (Although, contrary to what a lot of people think, there may be moments when suppression is a handy temporary tool– like not letting rip on your spouse for whatever he/she has totally messed up on in the middle of a dinner party, for example, and instead waiting until the guests have left to discuss it).
Anyway, I’d found some decent articles and posts which gave ideas of ways to deal and let go, as well as ones which explained the difference between suppression and letting go. Your post though, got to the heart of what I needed to hear: that feeling and dealing with your anger is the healthiest thing you can do with it. Having that validated is such an important piece of getting there, and something many people want to gloss over. I know it is something that many people are uncomfortable with, and so they want others’ anger to be done… and SOON! They are like, “Yeah, anger is good, but can’t you be done with it?” When sometimes, what you are angry about is an ongoing thing or something that may take time to work through. Your validation of that and giving permission to take the time one needs hit the nail on the head for me!!!
So often, my experience has been that when I have shared my feelings with people, they want me to be enlightened, want me to use those nuggets of wisdom that you talked about; which only serve to piss me off more!! It’s not as if I don’t know those things, already. I just need to be pissed– to allow myself to really feel what I feel and think about how that has affected me in my life right now. Then, and only then can I find a way out of it.
Thanks for your wisdom!
In gratitude,
Sharon
Hi Sharon
Thanks so much for your comment and sharing your experience. I can feel a strong energy of relief in your words–that validation of our feelings and knowing it’s okay to feel them is huge energetically. Especially if you were raised to think otherwise. It’s like you said–we ‘know’ all that great enlightened wisdom but sometimes you just aren’t in that space, and trying to force it doesn’t help matters. You get your anger on girl! 😉
Hi Kelli,
First off, thank you so much for your blog and your podcasts. They are both incredible resources. Second, I’m sure I’m not the only one who has experienced this, so I was hoping you could touch on it for not only myself but anyone else who has had the same thing happen.
After enduring what was by far one of the roughest times in my life, the Universe lead me to the Law of Attraction. I understood it immediately, as it was the answer to all the questions I had at the time. That day, my vibration rose to a ethereal level; I felt true bliss and fervid happiness. I found beauty in absolutely everything and I felt incredibly light because I knew the Universe had my back. People suddenly looked and smiled at me on the street, held doors open for me and gave me things for free. I found two different jobs in two days after being unemployed for three months. I started to have some unexpected income for the first time in years, and I would continuously manifest the things I asked for. I was ‘high’ on life, and I had complete, unwavering trust in the Universe and the Law of Attraction. It was truly magical. But, one thing I had asked for (which a whole bunch of other people wanted as well), didn’t happen within the timeframe I was given, and my faith wavered. This was after spending a ton of time deeply visualizing and feeling the feelings of already having it while in this high vibrational state. Another week went by, and my faith continued to decrease, along with my vibration. Eventually, I heard back, and was offered to be brought back in for a position I did not want. So I asked if I could also be considered for the position I did want. They said sure, but during the interview, they steamrolled over the position I wanted and focused on what I did not want, despite me focusing all my (positive) energy on what I did want. Eventually, I got rejected all together, then a few hours later got offered the position I did not want. So I rejected the project all together.
From there, my trust with the Law of Attraction got squashed. I lost my high vibration completely. After a bit of looking into into why this could have been the case for someone in my field, I started to believe that it all happened because it wasn’t going to be good for me (which it really wasn’t, in hindsight). But, doesn’t that go against what the Law of Attraction is in the first place? That you can manifest the things you want? That you create your own reality, so I would have created that it would have been good for me? In the past, this type of project wasn’t good for me and had never gone well for me, but I didn’t focus on that. I just focused on what joy it would bring me to have that part in that project. I understand that your vibration has to be a match (which it definitely felt like it was at the time), but how do you know your vibration isn’t a match when when you feel like it is? By not getting what you tried to manifest? What can you do to make it a match, if it isn’t? Did all this all happen because of my initial wavering faith?
Now, this brings me to the topic of anger. As time went on, I slowly started to become frustrated with the Law. Then, just yesterday I had a place to stay secured in another city while I took a workshop, but then I was told, firmly, that I could only stay for 2 weeks instead of 3. Due to the circumstances surrounding this, I felt unappreciated, disappointed and and even a little hurt. It also made me really angry. Not even half an hour later, a crucial member of an unrelated upcoming project had dropped out for literally the most random and bizarre reason. I should note that road blocks like that used to happen to me a lot when I was taking on these types of projects a few years back, and I was always super stressed, anxious and angry back then. This time around, I wasn’t feeling any sort of anxiety that anything was going to go wrong–in fact, it was the first time I ever felt confident that things would go right. So after this project member dropped out, I then got even angrier, because it felt like if I ever felt anything other than good for more than a few minutes, the Law of Attraction was going to attract that negativity tenfold. It made me feel like the whole “a positive feeling is 1000x more powerful than a negative feeling” thing isn’t true. How could it be when the Universe apparently isn’t biased? Yes, I was feeling some frustration prior, but this was the first time I felt real, deep anger since learning about the LoA.
To add to this, even when I had been, or have been, feeling good–feeling gratitude all day everyday, meditating and actively shifting my emotions and vibration if needed (though not getting to that magical place)–not a whole lot I’ve been asking for has been manifesting since that huge initial disappointment.
Could both of these instances been residual emotions in my subconscious from my past? If so, how would one go about ridding their subconscious past anger and anxiety if it nestled deep within in your subconscious? (That part doesn’t even seem fair!) Is it my lack of trust with the Universe and the Law of Attraction making all this happen? If so, how do I gain that trust back? What else could I do differently to help things manifest? What could I do to get that magical, ethereal high vibration back?
Thank you so much for your time, and thank you so much again for Live Life Made to Order. It’s my go-to place for all things LoA, and I am so grateful for the time and energy you spend on creating such a kick-ass resource!
Hi Haley
For more in depth insight, you might consider booking a session since I can only give general advice when people comment or email me. I would need to be able to speak with you. Full disclosure… I only skimmed this because a lot of what your mind thinks is relevant to the situation actually isn’t 😉 We always want a feeling and sometimes the things we want with our mind, like the particular job, may not be the best representation, so not getting it doesn’t mean something went wrong. Second, we don’t get what we want, we get what we are a vibrational match to, so just wanting something doesn’t mean it can just be given to us; this isn’t a tool to manipulate reality. Third, all manifestations are vibrational feedback–think how not getting the job made you feel. Fourth, maintaining such a high vibration will probably not last since that wasn’t your natural emotional state before–you accessed one available always within us, but then we have to manifest stuff to help us clear out what isn’t serving us, manifest situations that bring these energies up to be dealt with. Hopefully my blog will help you clear up some of the common misconceptions about the law of attraction that you seem to be operating with, like many people. Good luck!
Thanks, Kelli, I found this a really useful and down to earth post; I have been feeling lots of anger coming up since I stopped being in therapy (which had lasted for around 4 years) in march last year. There’s so much of it coming up I sometimes feel like I’m not me anymore and feel overwhelmed by the feelings, wondering if they’ll ever cease. The humour and practical advice of your post has been useful!
Hi James
Thanks for your comment and I am so glad you enjoyed the post. Anger can be tricky to work with at first because of our inclination to suppress it, coupled with it being judged as a ‘bad’emotion. But it is just a feeling like any other, a messenger to show us where are focusing, what we are believing,etc…, something to be felt and then released. It can be a very healing emotion, and I am glad I changed my view of it.
Anger is simply an intense emotion and people ‘create’ using that too.
Maybe they create by getting into a fight, ending up in jail. You could say that
is a form of manifestation. Whether you feel joy or anger it all (the emotions)
are made up of energy that is funnelled into a particular frequency.
As a child you often manifest the de-creation of something (ie.removing it) by throwing it on the floor to break it. Still, it is a kind of manifesting a result. Once you understand that ALL emotions are made up of cosmic energy which you are forever connected to, then you become less restricted by creating only out of the positive energy spectrum.
Hi Sageness
Great insight here! I really enjoyed reading this
Hi Kelli
Firstly I would like to say thank you for writing this article. I have found it immensely helpful. I have been feeling as if my energy was somehow stuck for years and now I know why! A lifetime of repressed anger!
I have started to release anger through exercise, however, although I know I have repressed anger, I can’t always connect to it when I want to, for example, when I want to feel it and use it to push me harder to release it when I’m exercising I can’t always connect to it and feel the anger. Is there a reason for this? And is there a way to connect to the anger when I want to put that energy into exercise?
Hi Emma
Anytime we are trying to force something, we tend to just push it even farther away, so this is what is likely happening if you are really trying to force the emotion at specific times. It is also great that you have found a specific way to help get it out of your system, and exercise is great. But it sounds like you may be wanting it all to come through this form of release because it might not feel as intense if it is being ‘channeled’ rather than felt. Using it as fuel is certainly one way to purge it, but you might also have moments when you just need to be with it and feel it. Also, it is important to note that we often process a lot of emotion under the surface and it might not always be acutely felt; it isn’t always something we are consciously working on. But the change is still happening.
Thanks for your reply Kelli. How would you recommend ‘channeling’ anger in a less intense way?
I have plenty of the signs of repressed anger. I was emotionally numb for many years. When my father died the grief broke through the wall I had blocking emotions. I have been in therapy with my psychiatrist since then 30 months so far. We have a strong relationship with well established trust and safety. He explained today that unresolved issues and unexpressed anger have led to protracted grief. I am unable to cry which he explained is because if I cry I will feel the anger I never let out. The therapy had to start with me learning to identify what I was feeling. Anger has been by far the most difficult. I grew up in the under emotional house where the silent treatment was used and I was shamed for expressing emotion. I hope anyone reading this who is considering therapy takes that step. It will help you understand yourself better than you thought you ever could. I thought I was weak for needing help at first….the opposite is true. It takes courage and strength to start and stay in therapy but worth it. My therapist says we will keep working until I am able to let go of the anger and heal so our relationship will not be one where I am abandoned as I was emotionally through the silent treatment while growing up.
Hi PJ
Thank you so much for sharing your experience and it sounds like you have found a therapist that you work really well with and it helping you. Having someone to talk to, someone that can evaluate you objectively, like a therapist, can be hugely helpful for this inner work and healing. You certainly are not weak for seeking help…being human is hard business and being able to admit our vulnerabilities and when we are struggling is key to living a better life as we can’t fix what we won’t acknowledge. It isn’t always easy but it can bring us to a more stable, happier place more consistently and that is worth it. Good luck, sounds like you are doing great!
Thanks for this post. Yesterday I was ready to throw all my mindset books in the trash and burn them. I also thought, omg, I’m totally screwing myself over with the universe for even thinking this stuff, I’m a lost cause!
I slipped with managing my monkey brain and ego and felt so much anger, cried cried cried and when I got home yesterday decided to google “bad energy mad at the universe” because I’ve been feeling like this for the last two weeks. The struggle is real.
I need to hold onto creating space to practice gratitude, find the right combination for me whether journaling, meditation, being outside by the beach, to feel connected with good energy, When I got in a flow of doing this I’ve felt my energy shift. After a year I’ve slipped into an angry place of “what’s the point.”
I work for myself and each month that goes by is another month I haven’t attracted a great new gig. Leads come in and instead of undervaluing my services and undercharging, I’m finally charging a good fair rate and not getting the work. At the same time I can’t keep charging low, it doesn’t cover bills. So 1. I need to focus on getting leads that can afford the new rate because nothing is coming in now and 2. I need to stop avoiding the calls I’m getting about the debt that I have, I’ve manifested the dark financial hole that I’m in.
I’ve read Jen Sincero’s books, Marianne Williamson, Brené Brown, and just came across Lisa Nichols last week. What’s painful about this is that this all boils down to my energy right, then I feel like a lost cause all over again. At least I have some “hope” for lack of a better word because I did that google search and found your post. Sometimes I think, if I can manifest this terrible situation I’m in, can I manifest the opposite if I can get past this anger and despair? Thanks for writing this post. I am going to read more of your work.
Hi Maria
Even though you might not feel great right now, what is happening at the moment is actually really beneficial for your energetic ‘work’ because you are acknowledging some deeper seated feelings that you were probably not looking at fully, but trying to push aside and be ‘positive.’ The reaction suggests some strong feelings there and likely still the dominant energetic influence on your reality. Sometimes it is good to take a break from all learning and information gathering. You likely have amassed enough in the moment and just work on processing and applying whatever is most relevant in the moment. You are right–if you created the unwanted, it means you can create the wanted–it is empowering to hold this view, and it is not about blaming ourselves but taking responsibility for our experience, and that feels really good. Just be patient with yourself and don’t feel pressure to make these big leaps. That is really good you are charging in line with the value of your services–it is easy to keep putting that off. Sounds like you are doing really good actually so don’t forget to give yourself credit for the effort and the willingness to do things most people feel are too uncomfortable to even consider.
Thanks Kelli for the reply. I listened to a few of your podcasts and read your post, I Fear the Law of Attraction Won’t ‘Work’ Because My Negativity is Too Deep. I like your style, it’s very frank, straight and honest. I’m making the calls today I’ve been putting off to deal with the debt issue I let myself get into. And you’re right, I’m going to unplug from the learning/information gathering for a bit, this “doing by learning” isn’t helping me move forward, I should give space to what I’ve already taken in. Have an incredible meditation retreat and I appreciate your story. The first time I traveled my world burst open. A lot of things are coming full circle in my world so I’m super glad I happened upon your site and work.
Hi Maria
Facing your debt is great. That will create a great feeling of relief, and open up a lot of energy for you. This is a great example of how we can misunderstand the LOA-worrying that admitting financial troubles or any other problem is ‘bad’ and will perpetuate it. But this action will make you feel better and that is what helps change our vibration. I feel a good energy from your words and I can tell you are making great progress.
Hi, First off I was pissed that all these great comments were about three years old – but still timely I have to say. I have a lot of anger coming up from my very dysfunctional childhood with parents who had serious issues of their own and leaned too much on me. I went above and beyond to be what they needed but the anger tells me it didn’t help them much at all. I am now dealing with all of that crap as best I can. It is a process and a very slow one much of the time. Anyway, your post speaks volumes and this is the first time I researched how to deal with anger as an adult. So thanks for that.
Hi Joyce
Thanks so much for your comment and sharing your experience. Anger is an interesting emotion since there is such transformative power there when we can process it in a ‘energetically-friendly’ way. The problem is, like you read in the post, this is a very misunderstood and maligned emotion, and understandably so, since we never really see it expressed in healthy ways–just really ugly ones. It is like a threshold emotion that can really move us into a better place because it’s one of those ‘Im done with this’ type feelings that can really open the door for lots of clarity and positive change that we may have been resisting before. Sounds like you are really ready to do this and that alone means it will get done–intention is powerful. The more crap there is, the sweeter the release, the bigger the outside changes…if we’re down for the ride and I think you are. Just remember your feelings are just feelings and while they may be intense, they ultimately have no power over us if we work on ‘getting ahead’ of them. I have a feeling you will be just fine!
Hi, Kelli Thank you so much for your quick response. I appreciate it. I feel validated more than I did before. Please keep writing.
Hugs to you!
Hi Kelli, thanks so much for sharing wisdom and insight in this post. I just spent the last 15 minutes visualizing and talking to my mother on the chair opposite me. It made me realize the legitimacy of my anger and her role in the problems in our relationship, I could hear her interjections and shut them down without having to deal with the real emotional turbulence and confusion and difficulty in expressing myself which I experience when trying to talk in vivo. I have learned so much about the sources of my anger from this experience. Thanks for the prompting. I may do a little morning virtual anger session at all the people who have pissed me off. There are enough to fill a whole year. Thanks!
Hi Maria
Thank you so much for your comment and sharing your experience. Glad you found it useful. Visualizing and these ‘fake’ conversations can be really helpful for getting us into a better space energetically. Taking responsibility for our feelings doesn’t mean that the other people in our life are totally off the hook or we can’t acknowledge their problematic behavior–they almost certainly have done something to warrant our understandable human reactions. Once we can admit our anger, we see the value of dealing with it. It’s heavy and drains a lot of emotional energy in particular. Sounds like you are well on your way to healing!
Hi Kelli,
Thank you so much for your open, honest, post – and especially those paragraphs with all the “sample” things we feel anger about. Just seeing the collection of options that others feel as well was very helpful in knowing feeling this emotion and the ways it can appear, is not an isolated thing. Also, thank you to all of the people who posted (and your responses). This too was wonderful to see how you all came to your realizations or are working on your process with how to experience anger / identifying what it may signal. For me, I got to this website because I am a grad student and find that I am often angy at my professors (signalled by private tears of rage) after I figure something out that I feel would have / should have been obvious to them as “professionals” who work with students… This anger has lead to the development of a lack of trust with regard to them to build up in me, and I, in turn, have not sought their help — because, it seems to me that they cannot or will not provide me with the answers I seek. This is not ideal, because a huge part of grad school is developing relationships with faculty…. ugh. so *I* am shooting myself in the foot here… A few weeks ago, I found a reference text about how to approach a large writing project (aka dissertation) and it had the information I was seeking. I realised that I had come to them with the wrong type of questions — writing process vs disiplinary content. And that was a big lightbulb moment. As a grad student, they are expecting content questions — they are content experts. So my process questions were out of place, or may have seemed like filler or fluff or evasive questions to them, rather than legitimate questions… But, as I was working through the steps set forth in the reference book, (essentially, learning how to systematically work-up a source aka purposeful annotations — which give access to content), I found myself getting SO PISSED OFF! I had what I wanted – a way to move forward. The way seemed to be working. I could see immediate improvement. I was able to mine for content, organize it, talk about it better… SO… Why was I so pissed? So I googled “why do i get angry at realizations”. LOL. And amongst other sources, I found yours. I’m still not quite sure I have the entire answer, but, I think a good part of it has to do with recognizing beliefs and then working to let go of beliefs.. And that letting go of beliefs is actually really hard, and scary – because I don’t know what will come to fill the void, and because my anger seems to allow me to place the blame on someone else, other than me… . BUT, after seeing this post, and being able to give some kind of label to the anger, I think this will help me move toward letting this go. I don’t think its gone yet – so I need to figure out what is holding that back, but I think I am slowly going forward. Anyways, this particular post was so helpful, I just had to chime in with my experience as well. Thank you Kelli!
Hi Dagmar
Thanks so much for your comment and I am so glad the content helped give you some pieces to the puzzle and seeing what may be going on inside. It seems like you already have a lot of insight and have been giving the situation some thought…it is scary to let things go. Even if we know it will serve us, it puts us in ‘unknown’ territory and that is never comfortable. But you get more comfortable with the discomfort that comes with inner work and transformation and then nothing can stop you!
Hey Kelli!
Have just come across your article as I really want to practice LOA and have started doing some research into it. Like others have mentioned, I too have a lot of surpressed anger and hurt from things that have happened to me in the past. I am not an open person so I have just kept all of this to myself. I don’t have any close friends or a boyfriend that I can open up to so all these feelings remain in me. I was wondering if maybe writing a list of all the things that upset/anger me and then burning that list as a symbol of me letting them go is a good way to rid myself of my negative feelings? I do get angry quite often at little things and I do think it’s because I havent let go and released emotions from what has happened to me in the past
Hi Antie
I think that can be a very powerful tool. I think it is good to write things down–it dissipates the energy that builds when something is just inside our head. I am a fan of that particular approach–like actual writing not typing! The burning is very symbolic. On the subject of tools and techniques, the most important consideration is personal resonance, emotional resonance with what you are being asked to do. The goal of doing any of these things is to help ourselves feel better, switch focus,etc… They have no power in and of themselves. If it makes us feel good in some way, then it will ‘work’ for us. And now that you have set this intention to deal with the feelings, that you feel ready, you will manifest all sorts of resources that can help you do that whether it is a new friendship, a coach or therapist, a book, a particular healing technique,etc… Just be patient and make sure you are approaching everything from the space of wanting to feel better not trying to make the bad feelings go away. Both approaches share a similar goal but they are very different journeys and the mind doesn’t quite grasp that.
Oh yeah!! That’s the good stuff:) Great post, very intelligent. In fact I was super pissed when I started reading it, and just reading about releasing anger and honor this emotion and I feel so much better, I’m all smiles now lol! I have chronic illness, and years back when I was starting my healing journey and learning about all this awesome metaphysical and law of attraction stuff, I realized I had a lot of RAGE inside and was afraid to even encounter it. It’s been quite an adventure just allowing myself to be crazy alone in the car and yell scream cry insult declare the worst profanities hahaha!! Once I started it, there was no going back. It took months even to tackle a part of it and guess what? I really started to heal physically too, not only emotionnally. Amazing stuff. The anger gets stuck in the body, festers and makes you sick. This is what happens when you are an extremely gentle, generous, altruistic and compassionate person without enlightenment. When I meet a spiritual person and they’re afraid of the words trauma or anger, I look at them with loving tenderness as I know they’re all shiny and innocent, they haven’t come to the good stuff yet lol. But the all positivity all loving thing is such an illusion, the rest is so much more rewarding, profound and satisfying, and as you said so well, healing… anyways, thank you so much, this post is simply amazing!
Your journey serves as a beacon of hope for others navigating their emotional healing.
Thank you for your kind words Ilana! Glad you enjoyed the post