Our limiting beliefs and negative feelings can be quite strong at times, and now that we are aware of the law of attraction, we know creating a shift is non-negotiable. Becoming aware of this force, along with what is really going on inside, is good because you can finally start creating your reality consciously. It can also be a bit unsettling because knowing the importance of what we feel, think and believe, you become hyper-aware of the negativity within, and may feel a bit anxious about tackling it.
The task can seem quite daunting. We can develop great resistance to our negative feelings and beliefs, and get really pissed at ourselves that we are struggling. They can be so strong, we don’t even know where to start in overcoming them. It is important we take responsibility for our life and the results we have gotten thus far and in the future, but we can easily shift into a space of blame for our current circumstances, and this is a whole different energy. We need to cut ourselves a bit of slack. We need to be patient with the process.
Below you will find five tips that I think will be very helpful in working through your limiting beliefs and just feeling better overall.
Acknowledge Where You Are Now and Start From There
So, your life is not exactly like you would like it. You’re not feeling great. Perhaps you have made some poor decisions. Your belief system is pretty crappy and in need of a major overhaul.
What you want now may seem kind of far away, and perhaps it is, but not as far as you think. The thing about successfully working with law of attraction is you actually need to start feeling better to get energy moving. Affirmations mean nothing if you don’t actually feel good saying them. Thinking about what you want will do very little if you are not cultivating the feelings that lie behind these desires. Totally ignoring your bad feelings is very different than shifting focus and actually starting to feel relief, and other positive feelings, despite your less than desirable outside circumstances.
If you are feeling shitty now, you have to admit it. Let yourself feel the bad feelings. I’ll be honest, it can be a bit scary because even though you have certainly not been feeling great, there has likely been a lot of denial and pushing things down. Now that you are actually increasing awareness of your pain, you may get the sense that you are feeling worse than ever. But, this is actually how badly you have always been feeling, you just haven’t let yourself go there fully.
Most of us can’t jump right from where we are now, where our minds are swimming in a host of limiting beliefs we have been buying into for years, to being in a state of sheer bliss where we have total faith in LOA, and create effortlessly. It will be a bit more incremental, which is not the same thing as slow.
So, you don’t want to try and make any quantum leaps feeling-wise—just work on moving up the vibrational ladder. Look for changes you can make in your life that will provide a sense of relief, no matter how small they are. What elements of your life can you focus on that actually make you feel better, and that suggest the seed of what you want is already there? You don’t have to pretend to like something you don’t, but you can work on not putting so much attention on it.
Don’t make any bold moves that you are not aligned with vibrationally—think of what you can do now to start feeling better, and give you the sense you are moving towards what you want that feels the least anxiety-inducing. Start from there, and as your energy rises, and you start seeing results, you can figure out the next step and then the next. You’ll be making bigger changes, but they won’t feel as scary, they will feel like they are right and the next logical step in manifesting your desire.
It is tempting to try and go all big and bold because we are impatient, but this will actually slow things down because your vibration still needs some tweaking, and while you get LOA in theory, your trust in the process is probably quite low. So, taking these baby steps will actually be the faster route to seeing real results.
Don’t Push Away the Yuck, Work with It
One of the things that people always struggle with when working with LOA is shifting limiting beliefs. They are just so deeply ingrained, and we can’t help but look at our experience as proof of them. This is the case even when we become aware that our world is created from the inside out—it can be hard to let go. We have unpleasant feelings and thoughts that overwhelm us at times; they are constant companions.
Now, with all the focus on trying to feel good, and think happy thoughts, many believe they should just be ignoring the unpleasantness and not paying it mind. This is certainly helpful at times, but when the beliefs, thoughts and feelings are strong, this simply isn’t enough. They are still there lurking in your energy, and will have to be dealt with.
It would be awesome if there was some ritual that could totally excise limiting beliefs from your mind, much like you would a cancerous mole from your body. How great would it be if we could do something like jump on our left foot five times, spin in a circle, clap our heads twice, and voila…all gone!
But, since they are of the mind, we are going to have to do some mental work to shift them. We have to identify the biggies that contradict what we want. I came across a blog post once talking about limiting beliefs, and one of the tips for uncovering them was asking yourself if you would be surprised if you got what you want. Great question! If yes, then why? All those reasons are limiting beliefs.
Visualize what you want, and if it starts to feel kind of uncomfortable, that is all the ‘yeah buts’ rising to the surface. Sit with it for a moment, and see what comes up. Think back to some things in your life that didn’t go your way. Why do you think this was?
One exercise I find very helpful in working with limiting beliefs is writing down the belief, and then listing all the reasons why it actually isn’t true. If any of your limiting beliefs were planted there by parents or other people in your life, take a moment to consider why they may have believed what they did, or said the things they said to you that made you feel like you were not good enough, etc…This can be helpful for shifting your own beliefs because you realize that many things are simply not true, they are just mere opinions of people who had their own mental messes they were dealing with. You are a completely different person, and you can believe whatever you want to believe.
Now, important note here—while you may have been influenced by other people, you have to start owning what is happening now. Don’t fall into the trap of blaming them for your current state of mind. This will just slow the process.
As for persistent negative thoughts and feelings, again, if they are powerful, they will need to be looked at. Again, successfully working with LOA is about actually starting to feel better, not just telling yourself you feel better.
When anxious and fearful thoughts come up, take a moment to really tune into what is happening. Your true reality, and what your mind is telling you are usually drastically different. For example, you may be freaking out about your money situation, and thoughts of not being able to pay rent or buy food flood into your mind, but when you really stop and think about it, you actually have money to pay for these things. Perhaps you can’t cover all your bills, but this is a very different situation than thinking you will end up starving and homeless.
When you are thinking about something that makes you feel badly, what thought can you reach for that actually provides relief or other positive emotions? This is not necessarily the exact opposite thought. For example, if you are thinking you don’t have enough money, thinking you will have enough probably won’t do much for you.
Ask Yourself More Positive Questions
For most of us, the questions we ask ourselves tend to perpetuate our limiting beliefs, fears and negative lines of thinking. What if I never get what I want? What if I never get married? What if I never have kids? What if things just continue to get worse? What if I never get out of this dead end job? What if I never find something to be passionate about? Right off the bat, we are activating all sorts of negative feelings. The focus is on all the things that are currently missing from our experience, and perhaps may never come.
Unfortunately, cultivating positive thoughts and feelings does not come naturally for most of us, and we have to practice it a bit to get more momentum behind them. Flipping these types of negative questions to their more positive counterparts is a great strategy for doing this. By asking questions that suggest these things are possible, a whole new line of thinking is activated. We are focusing positively and not negatively.
So start asking yourself these better questions. What if I got what I wanted? What if I found a great relationship? What if I got a better job? What if my financial situation improved dramatically? You may not know how these things would happen, or what these scenarios would look like, and that’s okay. It is not your job to figure it out anyway. It is okay if it feels a bit uncomfortable at first, that’s normal. The point of this exercise is to shift your energy by allowing yourself, even if just for a few minutes at a time, to feel like what you want is possible, and some good feelings like excitement or relief.
Have Fun with Visualizations—Remember It’s All About the Feeling
Often times, we manifest things that very closely match our visualizations. We have decided we want something, and this actual picture was the best representation of that desire so we got just that. But, that picture is not what actually brought the situation into the physical, it was your energy. You had beliefs that supported getting this thing. You already were feeling whatever feelings lie behind the desire—remember, we are always after a feeling.
So, with this in mind, know that you don’t just have to use visualizing to mold what you want. It is just a tool in manifesting, not a necessary component, though it is certainly very helpful, and we often need to engage in it to some degree to work through limiting beliefs, or help us figure out what we want.
Because attraction is based on feeling, and not what we are thinking about exactly, don’t worry about your visualizations having to be exact representations of what you want. They don’t have to be ‘realistic.’ They don’t have to be just about things that you would actually do in real life, or would be ‘possible.’ So, have fun with them. Let them go where they will so long as they are getting you into the feelings that reflect whatever it is you want.
Never Underestimate the Power of Just Feeling Good
With all my talk before about having to work through limiting beliefs, and negative thoughts and feelings, what I write here may seem a bit contradictory but it isn’t. Yeah, when certain beliefs, feelings and thoughts are really strong and persistent in our experience, we need to focus our attention on them and work on changing. Severe fears about money, for example, usually just won’t go away on their own.
But, this is not something that is always necessary. It is only necessary because there is a lot of momentum behind them, and that is of our doing, so we need to fix it. In theory we could just adopt a whole new set of beliefs overnight, but this is unlikely to happen.
Just working on feeling good is one of the most powerful ways to clean up our vibration, improve our thought patterns, and feel higher energy more of the time with greater ease. Sometimes, just walking away from a situation, taking our mind off our worries by doing something that makes us feel good, or taking a nap to reset, is the absolute best thing we can do to improve our manifesting.
While we may need to work consciously with limiting beliefs at times, you would be amazed at how much we can cut them down by simply feeling good, focusing on the good in life, and nurturing our new, more empowering beliefs. It is like if we stopped watering a plant, it would eventually die. We did not do anything specific to kill the plant, it was just mere neglect.
So long as our ‘feel good’ activities actually feel good, these limiting beliefs begin to lose their power. They may still surface, but they are not as strong, and you don’t get sucked in as easily. You can find your way back to your new, happier beliefs more quickly. These newer beliefs have more power behind them, and you can get back into that space with less effort.
When you are just working on feeling better, you will begin to attract with greater ease. As you attract more, your faith in law of attraction gets stronger, and this alone is enough to start chipping away at limiting beliefs without necessarily staring them down specifically.
You are very in touch with what is going on in your internal world, and you will know when you are actually feeling better, or when you are simply glossing over the ‘yuck’ and going into denial. You will know when it is time to work on something specifically and when you can just work on improving your state of mind by directing your attention elsewhere. So long as you are honest with yourself about where you stand, you’ll know what course of action to take.
In Closing….
So, I hope that simply reading this helped raise your vibe a bit, infused you with some optimism about working with LOA and gave you something useful to apply in your own efforts.Here’s the thing to keep in mind too-you don’t have to create some perfect vibration and rid yourself of every negative thought and belief to start seeing results. It is all about what is predominant, and when the scales start tipping in favor of the good feelings, you will see lots of changes.
Will things come in more slowly? Perhaps. Will you get the most awesome version of what is possible? Probably not because you are not quite yet a match to it. But, we all have to start somewhere, and as the manifestations start coming in, the process gets easier. You’ll let yourself start wanting more, and these desires will become easier to manifest. You can start creating lots of awesomeness without being ‘perfect.’
Please let me know what you think in the comments. What part resonated with you the most? Did you have any ah-ha moments? What are your own tips for feeling good and busting through limiting beliefs? How is your manifesting going? Looking forward to your thoughts and having a chat.
Hi Kelli,
Your posts always raise my vibe.. But this one is absolutely mind blowing.. I can feel myself feeling better and better while reading your words.. This is one of the excellent posts I have ever read! I feel this post has everything that one has to follow to see results in their life.. This came at the right moment for me.. Its like you have read my mind and clarified my doubts. For me this is golden!
Thank you so much for another amazing and inspiring post..
Hi Melisa
Thanks so much. That makes me so happy to hear that! I see that happening more and more…I guess there is some sort of co-creating going on between me and my regular readers. Knowing these posts are helping people see more success with LOA is wonderful–I have seen so many amazing changes and I want others to experience that as well.
Kelli, great post. As an avid outdoor gardener, it really struck a chord with me to merely neglect the negative feelings. I was going through a really difficult situation in which I thought/believed I brought the same circumstances I didn’t want right back to me. This was after feeling really good and “vibing” at a pretty high level – well, high for me anyway. I believed I received signs that my desires were manifesting. Then, lo and behold, no … no … NO …, or so I thought.
Because I was too upset and overwhelmed trying to shift my emotions up incrementally (which can work for me), I did EFT with Brad Yates on feeling frustrated – he’s funny as all get out, and I do experience relief when I “tap along with Brad.” The humor he uses related to how we feel and why we hold on to particular responses or emotions really provided me with a lot of perspective. After tapping (and laughing about why I felt the way I did), I realized that my true reality versus what my mind was telling me were, indeed, different. I am now able to frame my current situation positively, rather than always feeling beleaguered, and choosing to step back and decide how I want to feel about the situation, then go with that. What feeling of relief – which you’ve written about before. I’m feeling much stronger and positive about creating my true reality. I’m also aware of not looking toward the outer reality for validation, which can be so misleading and deceiving, but inward – much more powerful and satisfying. End result is, as you wrote, the negative feelings are withering because they’re merely neglected. I’m so OK with that.
All this happened yesterday, and I received your post today. Coincidence? I think not. …
Love your blog.
Hello
Thanks so much for sharing your insights and experiences. I find EFT to be quite helpful as well. I have heard of Brad Yates but I have not seen him…I will have to look up his videos. It is so fascinating the insights we can have just by simply stepping back for a moment and seeing what is truly going on. So simple, yet it can be so hard in the moment. We are very consumed with what is happening, and the physical responses to our stress amplify it and pull us in even further. That feeling of relief is so powerful in the attraction process as well as in that very moment when we are feeling badly.
That point about not looking to the outside is so so important as well, and it is good that is something you consciously work to do. It can be really challenging. Clearly we are working with LOA to effect changes in our life, and when we are not seeing them yet, it can be easy to go down a really bad road!
I am so glad you like the blog…feeling all warm and fuzzy now! And yes..nothing is ever a coincidence!
Brad Yates provides wonderful, free EFT (tapping) videos on YouTube. There are 500+. One should probably pay attention to how one truly feels, and he always (for me, anyway) has the appropriate tapping vid for it. He’s a guy who understands what it is to be a human being, in all our varied forms, orientations, and beliefs.
Just be aware, try to really know what you’re feeling if you want to hit on the right vid; e.g., I always believed that I was angry that things weren’t working for me, but yesterday, I realized I was frustrated as hell – not angry – that things weren’t working out. If not quite in touch with the feeling, one may have to work through a couple of vids to experience relief.
I did the “Feeling Frustrated” vid, I realized, “Hey, here’s where I truly am.” I did change some of the verbiage to say that I was angry, when it related to how I was feeling.
Any case, here’s the vid that worked for me in my state of urgency, which dissolved the emotion – through humor – about how I felt:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5Msuq53aso
What cracked me up most, and broke through my despondency was: “Frustration is a requirement … it’s in the rule book. … ”
Glad to know that you’re also on board with tapping. Coincidence? I think not. …
Thanks so much for the tips. That is a really important consideration to get that optimal relief. I did a few of the videos yesterday and will definitely check out the link you included here. That is a pretty spot on observation about frustration! No, no coincidence at all!
Hi Kelli,
Wow, this brings back memories for me of all the junk I use to carry around.
I think for me I always appreciated life itself but that doesn’t mean stuff didn’t happen. I came to understand over the years that I’m responsible for my own life. So if I want to mope around and feel sorry for myself then nothing will ever change. I mean who wants to feel like that the rest of their lives right!
I’ve had some really crappy things happen to and as per the examples you gave above I had to deal with the realization that I was never going to be a mother. That one hit me really had at one point and I went into somewhat of a deep depression. Once I snapped out of it I realized I could either make the best of my life or be miserable forever. I chose to make the best so with each new day I “chose” to be happy. It’s a process like you said and no easy task but we have to get up every single day anyway right! So why not choose to make the best of it instead of dwelling on all the things that are wrong in our lives. Once you stay on the positive front the “bad” things start to fall away.
Great share Kelli as usual. Thanks for these tips and I’ll be sure to pass them along as well.
Enjoy your week.
~Adrienne
Hey Adrienne
What I really appreciate about your comments is the openness with which you discuss the challenges in your life ,and the firm decisions you made to not let them completely consume you. It is really, really easy for us to go down that road. And while we will naturally still experience turmoil regarding these situations and have our low moments, they certainly don’t have to be the main theme.
I always find the topic of having children interesting because I don’t have them by choice, which is a very different thing than not having them because of some medical issue or just finding oneself in a circumstance where it just never happened. That must have been hard to deal with, but I suspect that was all part of a grander plan (not the kind where some higher power decides what is best for us) to do what you are doing with your life now. I think all of our life experiences build on one another to bring us where we are in our current moment, and it is exactly where we are supposed to be in that time.
You are so right about the time passing anyway, so might as well make the best of it !
Hey Kelli,
One thing you’ll come to learn about me is that I’m still a work in progress. I love the saying, “you’ve come a long way baby”. That I indeed have but I still have my moments. I had “stuff” I had to deal with and a LOT of heartache and loss in my life. We can sit here and ask why or decide to live our lives. I chose the latter as I would hope all would.
My sister doesn’t have children by choice but I always wanted to be a Mom. ALWAYS!!! I love kids and I couldn’t wait to have a family. I spent over 5 years with the love of my life and at the very last minute he called off the wedding with no explanation whatsoever. I guess you could say my life changed instantly and the road I had planned to go down no longer existed. Life threw me the biggest curve ball and it took me a very long time to recover.
That was 30 years ago now and I’m still waiting to learn what God had in store for me that was way more important than me having my own family. Sure, what I’m doing now I love but I would give everything up for my own family, in a heartbeat.
Just one of those things I’ve had to work through you know! I’m happy with my life, don’t get me wrong. We can plan all we want but that doesn’t mean it’s all going to go our way. So we do the best we can with what we have. Yep, I’m still a work in progress.
~Adrienne
Hey Adrienne
We are all works in progress! I don’t think there is ever a point where some ‘perfect’ version of ourselves emerge. As time goes on, we grow and change, and that causes us to want different things in life. We are always peeling back the layers and learning more about ourselves, and working to overcome some ‘issue’ to increase a sense of peace and happiness.
I am sorry to hear about that situation. It can be very difficult when a future we were so certain of is all of a sudden off the table. But, I’ll tell you this….you are an amazing person and I have no doubt that you can find a new love and that family you have always wanted. It might not look like you always imagined it would, but it can still be something wonderful. While I think we come to a life with decisions by our ‘big’ us to explore certain themes, I don’t think that means we are locked into any of the negative experiences we choose to explore–we can also experience the other side of the coin. I know you have said you have had a lot of loss in your life, and perhaps that is one of your themes you came here to examine. And that means you can also tap into its opposite as well. I don’t think that any higher power would decide to make you experience all these bad things as some sort of ‘lesson’ without also providing the means to experience that positive flip side. While it can be comforting to think some force is steering the ship, it can also feel disempowering as it suggests the things we want will either be bestowed upon us or they won’t, and we have no say in the matter. You seem to have taken control in many aspects of your life, and consciously created so many wonderful things for your business and I am sure many other areas of your life. That power is transferrable to every aspect. I don’t think the ship has sailed for you when it comes to the things you want in your personal life…not by a long shot!
Hi Kelli,
What an amazing article! Well written article about limiting beliefs. I would like to know about loa in relationships.
Would be grateful if you write an article about manifesting a true soulmate.
Thanks so much. So glad you liked it. I definitely think I can do that..perhaps that will be my Friday post! Keep an eye out
hi Kelli, I definitely underestimate the power of feeling good sometimes so it’s so lovely to be reminded of the power of the words in this post. I think it comes from a belief that anything worthwhile needs to be worked for effortfully, and that success doesn’t come easy. So I’m officially changing my mindset to ‘success comes easefully and joyfully’. Ha!! It’s a great mantra to have 🙂
Hi Lisa
Thanks so much for your comment. I’m glad that part resonated with you. I think that is a reminder we could all use sometimes..or A LOT! That is a pretty deeply ingrained belief that I struggle with myself. There is certainly effort involved, but it doesn’t have to be as painful as we are taught to believe it is. That is a great mantra! Thanks for stopping by!
Hello Kelly,
This is another excellent post! You explain law of attraction so well. I must admit that I had trouble understanding it but you really helped me be able to fully comprehend it. I, myself am still working on being more positive. It’s something that I struggle with but I am trying to be more conscious of it. When I think negative I immediately try to combat it with a positive thought. Thanks for sharing this with us!
Hi Maketta
Thanks so much for your comment. I am so glad you enjoyed the post and you found it helpful. At its core, law of attraction is quite simple, but moving from our current way of feeling and believing to a way that is more conducive to making positive changes in our life, can be challenging and I aim to give insights and strategies that can help make this shift. There is a lot of misunderstanding around it, but once you start reading more material that resonates with you, you will find it all makes more sense. As that happens, your faith and trust in the process grows.
Paying mind to our negative thought patterns and trying to shift them is an excellent place to start. But, remember it is important that you actually think in a way that makes you feel better–‘positive thinking’ without the feeling behind it will not create the shifts since we attract based on what we feel and believe, not our exact thoughts. So, if you do find yourself struggling with deep-seated negative thoughts and beliefs about any particular area of your life, it is good to tune into that and work on shifting it. Just ignoring the bad when it is strong and pervasive, will slow the process. I am so happy to hear you are exploring LOA more in-depth–if you stick with it, you will start to see amazing things happen for you!
Hi Kelli, My vibes has raised to hope/positive expectation just by reading your article. I appreciate what you do and who you are.. Just amazing. Anyways, what stuck out to me was when you said ” You can feel good and limiting beliefs release also ” . That statement has brought me slight relief in the positive direction. I can allow myself to feel good and enjoy my life right now. Just by accepting where I am and feeling good. How cool is that? Thank you again for all that you do.
Hi Kerby
Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. I am so glad you liked the post, and it helped you feel better. There is always a way to start feeling better now without the outside having to change first…it may seem challenging at times, but it is what will help things get better the fastest. It is every empowering when we start choosing perspective and deciding how we will feel. That alone is enough to start chipping away at our ‘stuff.’ It is pretty amazing. Good luck with all your manifesting and I hope to chat with you more here!
Thank You (Kelli), for the reply! Yes me too 🙂
I just started learning about the Laws of Attraction, and I’m hooked on it. I have always pretty much lived my life in the negative, and I figure applying the Laws of Attraction to my daily life is definitely worth a shot. It just makes sense that positive thoughts get positive results. Wish me luck on my journey, so far I feel very uplifted. I know there will be ups and downs along the way but its all about HOW I handle them and what kind of thoughts I allow in my mind. I’m so excited, thank you for this reading. Much love
Hi Clanese
Well, you have stumbled upon information that can change your life more than you can even imagine right now. Whatever good you are thinking can happen is just the tip of the iceberg! You will undoubtedly see changes in your experience once you start shifting beliefs, thoughts and feelings. Just always remember it is the emotion that attracts, not just what we say, think or do. So, for example, if you are doing affirmations, make sure you are not just saying nice words, but feel truth to them. That you know there will be some bumps in the road will serve you well–as you start shifting energy, things will come up, you may have ‘unwanted’ manifestations that are necessary to call your attention to certain things,etc..but if you can remember it all serves a purpose and is helping you clean up your vibration, you are good to go! Just be patient, compassionate, and don’t try to force emotion that is too much of a leap from where you are.
hi im 16 years old and i’m 5″6 but i’d like to be 5″11, im not sad or anything(my feelings are neutral nor happy nor sad) so what would you suggest for me? , i am not good at imagining or feeling as if i’m already 5″11 so what do i do and say if some 1 has autism will loa not work? and should i think about being tall everyday so in the morning i say ” i am tall,”i am strong”, ” I am 5″11 im so happy, and at night should i say the same affirmations or should i just write on paper about being tall
Thank you
Hi Harry
The first thing you would need to do is figure out why you want to be taller and what is wrong with the height you are now. You say there is no negative feeling, and while it might be true you don’t feel strongly about it, there must be a part of you that is upset at your current height or you wouldn’t care so much to change it. Only when you can make peace with how your body is now can you begin to transform it. LOA works all the time for everyone, and you don’t have to worry so much about developing super positive feelings, you would just need to work on removing any negative beliefs you have that make you think you can’t change your body. Most people really don’t believe we can change our height so there would probably be some work to do on that. A former client of mine was able to grow one inch so I know it is possible. AS for what to do, whatever feels right to you. Affirmations or writing things down on paper don’t have any special powers…they are just tools to help you focus. So you can do whatever you want. But, if I can just give my personal opinion..don’t put so much focus on your appearance…think of other things you might want to attract that you think can make your life better. Good luck!