Notice how I put working in quotation marks—law of attraction is always working. It just isn’t working ‘in your favor’ right now because there are still some blocks you are getting through. Notice the quotation marks again. I put them there because it is important to remember the energy that performs all this awesomeness is completely neutral.
It has to mirror back to you whatever is happening inside of you. Too often, we apply a lot of ‘humanness’ to it. We think the Universe is holding out on us because it thinks we don’t ‘deserve’ what we want, or as some sort of punishment for thinking bad thoughts or having limiting beliefs. Sometimes we liken it to a mother, who gives us something other than what we desire because she feels that is what is ‘best for us.’
But, this isn’t what is happening. It isn’t making any decisions, it doesn’t dole out punishments and rewards. It can’t give you what you want if you are not a match to it because you are trying really hard or because you are a good person. My favorite LOA blogger Melody Fletcher likened it to a computer—it is simply input and output, and nothing more.
So, that means that you have total control over your manifestations, and we just need to tweak some things. Here are four big issues that tend to really get in the way of our manifesting.
Trying to Feel Good while Stuffing Down What Makes You Feel Badly
The reason we don’t have the things we want is because we have a lot of negative feelings and beliefs around these aspects of our lives. So, in order to fix that, we need to start feeling better, and adopting more empowering beliefs.
We need to focus on the good in our life, and start cultivating the feelings that lie behind whatever it is we want because LOA works by matching us up with other experiences that match those same feelings. Sometimes that will result in the exact thing you pictured in your mind and sometimes it will be something different. It is all about what is the best representation…but I digress.
So with all this focus on feeling high-energy, and the good things in our life, it would seem that we need to take our attention off what is bad and what we don’t like. Paying mind to all this will just slow everything down. But, there is a lot of misunderstanding here.
Just focusing on the good while ignoring the bad is not how LOA works. Because simply ignoring that stuff ,without working on trying to shift it at all, or get to a place where you view the situation differently, means that it is still lurking in your vibration in a big way.
This ignoring of what we don’t like about our lives is one of the biggest reasons that really big, ‘bad’ manifestations seem to happen out of nowhere. On the surface, we can’t pinpoint anything, but when we dig deeper, we see we have been glossing over a lot of big stuff for a long time. And, when we do this, the momentum builds and it surfaces in a big way.
So, if you are struggling with LOA, you have to examine if this may be applicable to you. If you are lamenting you have been working on ‘thinking positively,’ have you been actually feeling good? If not, that is just denial. Do you have issues that you are ignoring or feelings that aren’t being acknowledged?
Let’s say when you were growing up, your parents blatantly favored your sibling. This sense of unfairness grew and grew until the idea of life being unfair became a core belief. You probably have a lot of resentment towards your parents for doing this to you, and understandably so. If you fail to acknowledge this resentment, feel it and work on releasing it, your manifesting will be stunted.
When we begin studying LOA it is easy to develop this fear of our ‘bad’ feelings and we think we must just shove them down, but you can’t do this. If they are there, they have to be dealt with to truly shift energy, and change your vibration.
Taking Action before Aligning
When looking at how to get what you want from a non-LOA perspective, it is all about action, action, action. We need to always be doing something, always taking steps towards achieving our goals. We mustn’t delay. We must start doing something now!
But, when you look at getting what you want from an LOA-perspective, action is actually the last thing we should be doing. It is preceded by getting clear on what we want, and then aligning with our desired outcome energetically. You can achieve whatever it is you want to achieve, so long as you are aligned with it. This new view of reality is quite exciting, and can sometimes lead to acting prematurely. Sometimes too, this idea of shooting for the stars can make us feel a bit of pressure to make bold moves for which we are really not ready.
It is easy to forget that simply wanting something is not enough in the sense that it can’t come unless we are ready to receive it. And, getting ready can take a bit of internal work. The usual paradigm of taking action first can be hard to shake, and we start doing things without being aligned.
We do things that make us feel like crap, out of a sense they are necessary for our desired end result, and that just slows everything down. Our faith in the process is not as strong as it should be, and the old way of thinking and doing surfaces, and really screws with things big time.
We start feeling panicked we won’t get what we want. Things aren’t happening as quickly as we ‘need ‘ them to and we get scared. Things just don’t seem to be happening, and we get discouraged. And all this leads us to force ourselves to do even more in hopes it will ‘fix’ the problem, and our energy just continues to fall further into the pit. We start doing a lot of stuff we don’t want to do, and this makes us feel even worse, which moves us even further away from what we want.
You don’t need to do as much as you think to get what you want. When you are aligned, things come together in the most mysterious of ways. When you take actions that feel good, and come from a place of lightness, the returns are phenomenal.
Before you take action, make sure you are aligned and have an eye towards actions that actually make you feel good. Don’t do things that feel really scary. Only take actions that your current belief system can support.
You don’t need to chuck your current life out the window completely to start manifesting bigger and better things. So, if you aren’t loving your job right now, it is not necessary to quit at the end of the day if the idea of doing that fills you with panic. If you are unhappy in your marriage (provided your life is not in danger), but have zero means to support yourself if you were to leave, don’t feel like you need to walk out the door tomorrow.
Trying to shake things up too fast when your energy is not behind it will only make things more difficult. It will be harder to work on feeling good if you put yourself in a position where you feel certain things ‘must’ happen in a certain time frame.
Once you start feeling better and shifting beliefs, think about the next step that feels the least scary to you and take it. Then take it from there..and before you know it, you will be making those bolder moves, and manifesting things you never thought possible.
Not Seeing Manifestations for What They Really Are
Often times, we lament we are not getting what we want, but are missing all these manifestations that show us we are on the right path. We have a very specific desire in mind, and since that exact thing has not happened yet, we get all mad at the Universe for not bringing it to us.
We are missing all the stepping stones that show us we are getting closer. Sometimes what we want just doesn’t fall into our lap—there is a progression of manifestations that reflect where our vibration and energy are at the moment. These situations show us that we are getting more and more aligned.
So, let’s say you have defined your ideal relationship. You are feeling better about the situation, and you start having more encounters with people that match these ideals, such as having an easy-going conversation, more frequent encounters with those that have similar interests as you,etc… And you are feeling all fine and good until the end of the night where you leave the bar, party or what have you, and no one asked for your number. All those good vibes go down the toilet, and you get all discouraged. Everything was going so well, but then nothing. You are still alone with no prospects on the horizon. This LOA stuff just isn’t ‘working!’
But it totally is working—these encounters are showing you that you are on your way to lining up with this ideal match. This is a clear progression from your previous situation of meeting nothing but jerks.
If you run a blog as a primary means to draw in people to buy your products and services, and you are getting more and more people commenting on it, telling you how much they love your content, and how helpful, inspirational or informative you are, don’t just dismiss that because you haven’t made any sales yet. This growing readership and positive feedback is showing you that you are on the right path.
If you have your sights set on a specific car and you are now seeing it everywhere, this isn’t the Universe teasing you, and showing you what you can’t have. It means you are lining up with it.
Don’t dismiss all these good things as not meaning anything—they mean a whole lot.
Misinterpreting the ‘Bad’ Things that Happen
So long as you adopt the line of thinking that everything that occurs in your reality is meant to move your towards what you want, that it is happening for you, it is easier to take ‘unwanted’ manifestations in stride. You realize they serve a purpose, and are not there to show you that what you want is not possible. You are not being punished.
But, between our faith in LOA being shaky at times, and our natural tendency to only want to experience things that feel good and not things that feel badly, this wisdom can easily be lost.
Hopefully this little tidbit can serve as a nice reminder. When you first start working with LOA in particular, you may find that lots of unwanted experiences are popping up, and this probably doesn’t make sense. You are working on feeling better, so shouldn’t things be getting better? Why is all this crap happening?
Well, you’ll be happy to know that this is actually a good thing. When you work on shifting energy, the obstacles that have been standing in your way all this time have to rise to the surface to be dealt with. You will be running into the various barriers that have been erected. You can’t release something that you don’t know is there, so it has to surface, lest it will continue to get in the way. When things happen, it is good to ask yourself how the situation makes you feel because this will help you get at the root of the belief being mirrored back to you.
‘Bad’ manifestations can also help you fine tune your vision. Sometimes , we can’t really figure out what we do want until we experience something we don’t. Then, using that experience as a springboard, we have a clearer idea of our more desired reality.
It is also easy to misinterpret ‘bad’ manifestations when we have strong expectations about how a situation should look, or how our desire will come about. Our minds are very limited, and can only see a handful of possibilities, when there are infinite.
For example, if you were hoping to create a better work environment, and you didn’t necessarily have your sights set on leaving your current job, getting fired would seem like a really bad thing. But, it was a good thing because it was the quickest way to move you towards what you really want, which likely isn’t at your current company, if you really assess the situation.
If you set your sights on a grander life, that may entail your boyfriend leaving you, because he has been an anchor holding you down in a way of being, that is no longer a match for you. Up until now, out of fear of how it would affect your relationship, you haven’t been letting your light shine as brightly as you should. On a deeper level, you probably knew he was a bad match, and this manifestation was necessary to right the situation.
Often times, we naturally envision an improved version of our current situation with all the major elements of our life still in place, not realizing that some must go or be heavily modified to actually allow in the changes we are seeking.
These ‘unwanted’ situations are a necessary piece of the puzzle to move you towards all the awesomeness you want. They can surely be uncomfortable, and may not feel great in the moment.But remember , they are happening for a very good reason. You may feel bad, scared, mad or what have you when they happen. It’s okay, you are only human.
But, do your best to extract the wisdom from them, and know you are still moving towards what you want. You can’t ever go backwards, but you can stagnate, if you let the pessimism and skepticism overwhelm you during these more challenging experiences.
I know that working with this process consciously can be really challenging at points. We are working on shifting beliefs we have held for many, many years, and that can take some time. But, if you have gotten far enough into your work with LOA that you are beginning to feel frustrated, chances are, you have had plenty of good manifestations that showed you there is something to all this, which kept you going down this path. Draw on those experiences, no matter how small they may seem, to give yourself a boost. Just work on feeling good for the sake of it, and not with the aim of getting something.
Work with the process in a way that feels good to you–don’t force yourself to take steps for which you are not ready. Don’t worry about figuring out every single thing you want for the rest of your life. Just focus on what you think would make you feel good right now.
I hope you enjoyed the post and please let me know what you think. What are your current LOA challenges? What are your successes? What tips would you give other readers that have worked for you? Looking forward to your comments and having a chat.
Hey Kelli,
Yes! I love that you are helping people work the bugs out of their manifesting process. I especially like where you talk about the incremental nature of moving towards our desires.
Many people think when they hear about the law of attraction that they can simply feel good about something and then immediately get the full blown manifestation of the thing they want. In my experience, it’s actually more like you describe: You start seeing little bits and pieces of manifestation that match where you currently are. Then, if you know this, you can know that it is indeed, “working.” The key is to be consistent. If you are getting any positive trickles towards what you want, keep doing the emotional work you were doing before to allow that to happen.
Where I get tripped up sometimes, is remembering what emotional work I did to get me that manifestation. What I’ve found that worked the best is to recognize that I’ve done good work, but not try to link it to a particular emotional process. Otherwise, I tend to activate the feeling of keeping score or critically analyzing my manifestation. That’s a surefire way to slow down the momentum of the wanted desire appearing in my life.
In the end, the best thing I’ve found is to consistently do a manifesting practice. It’s like you said, align before act!
Hey
I love that I am able to do it too! I just know when I first started, what sort of things I struggled with (and still do sometimes!) and I have learned so much from my own experience, I hope sharing my insights helps others. It has been such a powerful force in shaping my life, and I would hate for anyone to give up on working with the process consciously because of a misunderstanding of how it works, or feeling frustrated that ‘ask and it is given’ type sentiments are not enough for them to buy in. Shifting our beliefs and fully understanding how it works can take some time.
I suspect that part will be particularly helpful because as you said, there is the expectation that the whole enchilada will show up at once, and that is certainly possible depending on the desire and the person, but for a lot of things, we have to do a bit of vibrational tweaking to get to the point where the whole picture comes together.
That is a really great insight about thinking about the emotional process but not linking it specifically. You are so right about how that type of stuff can lead to that self-criticism. I think becoming aware of LOA can sometimes increase our anxiety about the process and make us a bit hard on ourselves when we have those lower moments.
Thanks again for your great comments. I appreciate the support!
Hi Kelli, that’s a great point about noticing the smaller manifestations. Just because the final thing hasn’t arrived yet you might disregard other manifestations related to it. But it is working, just maybe not as fast as you hoped. If you know Boni Lonnsburry (author of The Map) she says a similar thing, you should celebrate the “signs” as she calls them, which are changes in your reality relating to what you want to manifest.
Thanks for the reminder. 🙂
Hi there
Thanks so much for your comments..the support is much appreciated! You are so right about getting discouraged because things aren’t happening as fast as we would like them to. It is hard sometimes to wait for a manifestation! They are most certainly signs and to be celebrated. That deliberate celebration of them is very powerful because it raises our vibration even higher!
Hi KC,
It’s funny; how folks say the LOA isn’t working. Always is.
Neutral is always in effect and if you work diligently, and change your vibe, and align, you’ll manifest what you want.
Tricky element of the LOA; if you REALLY want something, and place more attention on the fact that you don’t have it, it’ll be a pain to manifest.
Let it go, the wanting, and focus on what you have. Feeling rich as is, helps you align yourself to stuff you wish to have, but have detached from.
I like feeling whole and complete now. My fave alignment technique.
So no matter what happens, I’m whole and complete and it’s all good.
Thanks KC!
Tweeting from Fiji.
Ryan
Hi Ryan
You can always say so much in few words. I love the advice about feeling whole and complete now. That is a very powerful way to manifest more. I think it can be challenging as well because of a fear we have about totally feeling good now will somehow stop our manifestations but the exact opposite is true. Our brain makes us very afraid to stop feeling that sense of want and need around our desires.
My mother practices LOA and lately things haven’t been working the way she likes. I typically find that when things get like is for her, from my point of view, she isn’t being authentic. But now that I read your post I’m thinking she wasn’t in alignment. I know she still has some internal work to do but now I know how to talk to her about it with her snapping at me 🙂
~Lea
Hey Lea
Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your experience and insights. If we don’t have what we want, or at the very least, don’t see any signs that we are moving towards it (like I shared here), then there is no question we are out of alignment, but it can be hard to realize sometimes!
It’s tricky with LOA sometimes because at some point, we bought into the concept and it resonated with us. We look back on past situations through this lens and see how it was at play. We have seen some manifestations and that propels us to keep working with it. But, it can take a bit to clear out certain energies and beliefs. Our vibration is still very much a mixed bag. We can become very insistent we are doing everything right or that we have shifted certain beliefs, but at some point, we will realize we haven’t. And you’re right…when that is broached with certain people, they often don’t react so well to it. I’m glad the post was helpful in formulating what you can say to her.
Authenticity can definitely play a role, and if that is what is coming up for you when examining her current actions, that is probably what is happening. We can’t get what we really want if we don’t allow ourselves to be the person who is a match to those things, or we don’t actually express a desire for what we truly want but perhaps things we think we should want.
Good luck with that..I am sure you can help her lots!
Kelli,
I love your blog because I feel like you always find a way to address the things about the LOA that I never really understood. Can I just say that the second one, about acting first before getting that clarity, is one of the biggest challenges of my personality? I feel sometimes like I’m hard-wired to just go, go, go, and you’re absolutely right, I need to spend some time getting crystal clear about my goals. I do have goals, but they’re more… translucent than clear.
You inspire me. I’m going to be more awesome tomorrow =)
Brittany
Hey Brittany
Thanks so much..I am so glad you liked the post. The action thing can be hard because that is the first thing we think of to get the ball rolling and in one sense that is a primary ingredient. But, actions that are coming from a place of feeling good will get us results much faster! I don’t think you have to worry about figuring out every single thing you want in great detail but just as long as we have a general idea of what we would like and start lining up with receiving it. You are already pretty awesome, but we never be too much so I suppose!
Hi Kelli!
I really enjoyed reading this post. You are doing some great work on your blog! Now, I agree with everything that you have to say and whenever I read a good post on LOA, it makes my own understanding a bit more clear. I enjoyed reading through the comments too. Yes, there are people who believe that LOA is not working. Getting through limiting beliefs takes time and persistence. After all, these beliefs have taken a long time to take foothold, how can we expect them to go away quickly? But, this is exactly people want…Quick answers to complex problems and stubborn and unserving beliefs. And when the universe does not respond quickly, they think that the LOA does not work. And people sometimes also use science as an excuse that it is not scientific and so on. I believe that there is no contradiction between the LOA and science. I like what you said about taking action before aligning. Yes indeed, people sometimes think that more action will solve the problem. But thinking from a perspective of science, they are using the wrong hypothesis and the wrong questions and experiments…very similar to misalignment. The quality of questions asked or a clear “why” usually determine the answers that we receive. Actions come later, so by definition only address the questions asked.
Happiness studies have conclusively shown that happiness does not always follow success. In fact, surprisingly, the opposite is true. Success more reliably follows happiness. And I would say this is exactly what LOA is saying: become a vibrational match and organically begin feeling better and happier and more grateful and goals materialize. No mismatch there!
I totally agree with taking unwanted manifestations in one’s stride. Fine tuning is important for a business startup as Eric Ries of the Lean Startup would say: Build, measure and learn. And every scientist knows that there is no absolute failure, simply experiments that speak in favor or against the hypothesis. And Pema Chodron, the buddhist nun and one of my beloved teachers would say to problems and unwanted manifestations as: “Rinpoches in disguise” wanting to teach us something more to clear some of the limiting stuff away. So there is consonance between the business, science and spiritual perspectives. It is just how people perceive the unwanted manifestations that can cause much suffering. Everything adds up and if the intention is to clear limiting beliefs and holding, believing and feeling great about
a purpose, there will be much enthusiasm and hope to take inspired action towards it. I know LOA works form my own experience, and it has always worked unknown to me and it worked when I consciously tried it.
Thanks and have a great weekend,
Harish
Hi Harish
Thanks as always for your great comments. I am so glad you liked the post and thanks for your compliments on the blog. That means so much to me. I find the same thing—I am always learning new bits and pieces from other people sharing their thoughts and experiences. You are right about the impatience—in theory we can transform over night but most of us are going to need a bit more work than that, and if we can ride it out, we are golden. I love your comparison with action and scientific activity. That is an interesting finding and not really that surprising when I think about how certain aspects of my own life unfolded. I too am familiar with Pema Chodron’s work and I remember her very clearly stating that truth. Great connection between the three, and you are so right…they are essentially saying the same exact thing. Your comments are always so fascinating and I truly love reading them. I know I have told you that before, but I had to say it again. I have so many wonderful readers here who leave such great insights and I really love learning from their experience and wisdom!
Hi Kelli
It’s your little Irish Buddha here Dominic McKevitt.
My new book is launched and as requested I am duly informing you of this WOW am I so excited like a kid with a new toy whoopee!!!!!!
amazon.com books John Lennon Cohen title Hell Has No Fury
and here is a little demo video for this on you tube so enjoy Kelli n don’t forget to tell your loving partner Ryan LOL
It is because of you and your blogs that kept me going and encouraging me when I was not here LOL
THANK YOU SINCERELY
Dominic AKA John Lennon Cohen
http://youtu.be/DRyXhGmX_F0
Hi Dominic
It means so much to me to hear that…truly, it made my day. I will definitely check out the book and video..so excited!
Hi Kelli
Please feel free to critique my work and as a fellow writer I would appreciate this from you.
Sincerely
Dominic
SO SORRY KELLI I GAVE YOU THE WRONG YOU TUBE LINK FOR MY VIDEO SO HERE IS THE PROPER ONE
http://youtu.be/gfMyZHb76Os
Quite an insightful post Kelli, well done. We need to focus on what we need not what we desire. Desire always takes us away from what we need to manifest because we are too busy manifesting for our desires and when we don’t get them we feel let down.
Keep up the good work.
Much Blessings,
Mathew
Hi Mathew
THanks so much for your comment and I am so glad you liked the post.
Hi Kelli
Your post was very enlightening, and I would like to thank you for putting some things into perspective for me.
As for myself I am facing some pretty heavy issues at the present moment.
Tomorrow 8.12.2014 I am facing a serious misconduct incident meeting which could see me lose my job and finding it difficult with the negative feelings that come with such an issue. This is the first time I have ever commented to such a post, any post for that matter but your post got me right into that part of my soul that lifted a heavy burden that I guess I can think a little clearer. And all things going well tomorrow or not I will be a much better person. Funnily enough I was really really stressing about tomorrow and needed someone and/or something (you and your post were both) to give me a lift and I just happened to stumble onto your website so I guess the LOA is fully functional.
Thank you very much,
WiJrny
Hi there
First off, thank you so much for taking the time to comment on my blog..it means a lot to me when my readers feel compelled to share their own thoughts, insights and experiences with me and my readers. To hear that my words made you feel better when you are facing an understandably stressful situation, really hits home for me and is the whole reason I started this blog. One thing I would like to share from my own experience of suddenly undergoing a huge, similar uncomfortable change is that even though it can be really scary, should this hearing result in the loss of your job, you are being presented with a tremendous opportunity to create something even better in your life. The one thing I would recommend is regardless of the outcome, is to examine how this situation is making you feel, and pay attention to anything that comes up for you, particularly memories of other situations..these situations are coming to mind because they feel the same way that this situation does, and when you examine all these things together, you will come to see what feelings and beliefs you may be holding that led to this situation materializing. But, remember this isn’t about blaming yourself, it is about going within to see what is happening, and taking more control by shifting beliefs and feelings that are not serving you, and adopting ones that will help you create better things in your life.
Hi Kelli
I’ve found your blog via melody’s and I just wanted to share how I enjoy your blog as much as I do melody’s. Your honest and straightforward writing is spot on and very enjoyable to read
Hi Lorraine
Thanks so much. I am so happy to hear that you enjoy the blog and find it helpful. Hope to hear more from you…I absolutely love hearing reader’s experiences, insights and whatever else they want to share!
This article helped so much! The biggest insight was pushing down the bad. I listen to Abraham Hicks almost every week and they taught me that just focusing on the good will automatically get rid of the bad vibrations since you are focusing on the good. Now I realize that isn’t the case and you have to address that stuff or else it is still evident in your vibration. The alignment thing is also something that I try to do.
Hey Akisha
Thanks so much for your comment. I am so glad you found the post helpful. Focusing on feeling good can certainly naturally chip away at a lot of our negative beliefs and feelings but for the bigger stuff that is really ingrained or we feel really strongly about, we usually have to examine it a bit more and let ourselves feel it.