Our feelings reveal to us our belief system and how we are focusing. If we are feeling negatively, we are believing things that aren’t going to serve us, we are focusing in ways that will just perpetuate our current unwanted circumstances. Changing our feelings can seem like a daunting task but it isn’t as hard as it seems. Here is the easiest way to do it.
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Podcast #129: Law of Attraction: The Easiest Way to Change Negative Feelings
Being with and feeling the fear helps clear it. Pronto. Most of us bury or resist fears because we are taught – foolishly – that being strong means burying your negative feelings. Quite silly really. Real power is had in feeling what you are feeling, to clear it. Rocking podcast.
Wise words as always!
The fact that this gets reiterated on this blog so much (being sure to feel your feelings) has really been helping me. I’ve had a lot of struggles with romantic relationships in the past to the point that I stayed single for 10 years because I was so afraid of getting hurt again, and then when I finally found the guy who I was really compatible with and who felt like “home” to me, we had a wonderful relationship for about a year and a half and then things started to go south, and I now feel part of the reason for that was because I let my previous fears of being hurt and abandoned get back into my head, to the point where what I was afraid of happening did happen 8 months ago (after 2 total years together). Since then, I’ve been really working through all of the emotions I’ve been feeling, sadness, missing him (because I genuinely like who he is as a person and I miss hearing his thoughts on things), accepting the breakup but still having a nagging feeling like he will come back, trying to let go but holding on at the same time, anger over how things were handled, getting over that anger and then back to feeling the loss and having waves of grief hitting me again more recently. I’m struggling with wishing I felt okay RIGHT NOW but knowing that I don’t even though I’m trying to do things that make me feel happy. I’m also hoping that just letting myself feel this stuff as it comes up and then let it pass will eventually give me more peace to where I genuinely feel happier regularly again.
I’ve also been working on changing my beliefs on love. I had a belief that everyone would eventually leave me because of previous experiences and, although it did happen again, it probably happened BECAUSE I was still holding tight to that belief, right? We both treated each other well and it was the best relationship either one of us had ever had, but I was still always waiting for the other shoe to drop, which probably made me act differently toward the end or give off a different vibe when I started worrying about it again.
I do have one question, though. If I allow myself to just think of the negative parts of the relationship (he had some negative beliefs on love too from his past and did a little projecting onto me toward the end), doing that would help me to be able to move on easier, but will it then give off the energy that being with him is NOT what I want? I’m open and hoping to attract someone who gives me that feeling of “home” and true heart activation that he gave me, whether it’s him or someone else, but I don’t want to push him away either because we were compatible on so many levels and it’s hard to think I’ll find that again with living in such a small town.
Hi April
It is important to remember that what you want at the end of the day is the relationship–and not even that really, it is the feelings you think you will get from it–and any time we are attached to a specific person, specific channel, specific opportunity, etc…we are trying to control the ‘how.’ Your mind is attached to your ex because it knows the experience of dating him, is fearful your circumstances limit your opportunity for love,etc… Maybe he will be the person but maybe not. The more willing you are to be open, the better off you will be emotionally and energetically. Feel whatever you are feeling now and don’t overthink it. It sounds like this manifestation was very significant in bringing up lots of fears and feelings for you, so dealing with all that is the true priority, not getting your ex back or getting into a new relationship.
First: I apologize for the length of these. I’m always so wordy!
Thank you so much for your response! It helped to read that. I’ve definitely been overthinking things and trying to control the how, even though I know better. I’ve been reading your blog a lot the last few months,
and I just love how you explain things. I had previously had some misconceptions about the LOA about just maintaining a positive mindset rather than really, TRULY being in a positive vibration, and it was like a breath of fresh air to read that it’s okay and actually BETTER to let yourself cry or feel angry when it comes because it cues you to look deeper to find where it’s really coming from so that you can deal with it and let go of it. That’s actually how I was able to pinpoint that fear of the abandonment was the “hurt” that I was afraid of for all of those years, and that allowed me to work on changing that belief specifically.
The breakup has definitely brought up a lot of stuff in general that I seriously needed to deal with and I’m thankful for that. I feel like I’ve grown an immense amount since then and have been knocking down walls and opening my mind, and that could also be why so much is coming up for me lately, too, and I definitely agree that I’m really not ready to be in a relationship, with my ex or anyone else, until I work through all of this stuff that I’m dealing with and I think I might actually have some resistance to it because I know I’m not truly ready yet. Someday, when I AM ready, I will be able to feel confident that I can go into a new relationship without the old fears/insecurities/issues popping up (or at least know how to better deal with them quickly if they do), and that alone is a good feeling. I’m changing a lot right now, and I’m fine with being single. I do miss talking to my ex and doing things that help him (I reeaally want to send him links to a few of your posts!), but that could definitely mean I’m just missing the feelings that I felt from being able to share things with him and help him because I love to help, especially those I love, and I truly do want him to be happy, so maybe instead I can just focus on getting that feeling from helping myself because I love me and want me to be happy, too. haha.
Thank you again for writing this blog. I have even gone back to the beginning and started reading from there, and I’m really looking forward to reading the rest of your posts and listening to more podcasts. Your writing is definitely helping me to heal and I’m sooo thankful for it!
Hey Kelli, 🙂
Cool podcast!
I would like to ask…..when you said that it’s not the thing that has happened that matter…. it’s the story we assign to it ….like “ I don’t have or can’t have relationship cause I’m already too old or not pretty enough….yes I agree this are absolutely limiting beliefs that stops the relationship to come in….but what about if the person is really rude, self centered, not caring so for the other people’s feelings etc. ….those things are also possible to be a reason for that person not to be in a relationship or have friends….and when he ( maybe ) starts in some moment thinking “ maybe I’m too rude and people are avoiding me, “ maybe I should care more for the others …..that aren’t liming beliefs….that person should really work on himself….so how do we make a difference ? Like where is difference between “ there is nothing wrong with me i have just assigned the wrong meaning to this and that” and “ oh I have to take the responsibility for that and work on me”
I really liked it as you said that we can’t convince our mind so easy, BUT that there has some kind of intuited feeling that appears when you hear something new to believe like you have fear or resistance to believe it ,but deep inside you know it’s true….and leaning on that intuited feeling we open space for evidence …..really great said!
Greatings 😉
Sandy
Hi Sandy
If our behavior or actions are in any way an issue in a situation–like treating people badly, being too needy in relationships,etc…, that will be something that is very obvious to us if we are willing to look at ourselves and our lives honestly. That is a separate issue from what I was talking about here…can’t account for every contingency in a situation or I would probably talk for hours!
Hi Kelli! Does it matter if I visualize my desire in the future (to create distance – trigger less resistance)? Will the desire be delayed?
Don’t hold tools responsible for changing your energy or your reality. You can’t use them ‘right’ or ‘wrong.’ All that matters is how you feel and how much you truly believe what you want is possible to have. Be careful of not getting too caught up with tools…that tends to make us just focus on what we don’t have, and get into ‘control’ mode.
Hi kelli thanks for answering my last comment, my goal to get my desired body by January 2019, which is to grow a few inches have clear skin and full hair. I believe that it’s possible 100% but I just have some doubts about the timing and am nervous in public situations, and ‘don’t know what to do’ to ensure I make the goal. I am also quite attached to these desires although it has got easier in the past few months
Hi, what if your story is ‘I’m not getting what I want because of my emotional feedback. Because I’m not in the right vibration/energy.’ ?
This was so helpful though, thank you 🙂
You are very welcome Abbie. When we remember it is just vibrational feedback, it helps shut down all the other stories your mind is telling you about the situation, and you can just focus on what matters, which is your inner world and what you are projecting outward.
I listened to this twice and am planning to do so again. I love the concept of changing your story. Even though I’ve made so much progress spiritually from where I started, I realized how many old stories I still had and what the root of each was or why I have perpetuated it. It’s so freeing and peaceful to let go of those stories, particularly with desires that have felt elusive before. I appreciate your insight and your lightwork, Kelli!
Hi Ruby
Thanks for your lovely message and you are right…we sometimes don’t realize how much we are still carrying around. But as we move along, anything that needs to be dealt with makes itself known eventually. We just have to welcome it and see what it is there to show us
Still my favorite and I came back to listen again today ❤️ Change the fkng story!!!
Thanks Star! That is really the root of it…the story. And since we are the ones that created it, we are the ones that can change it.