For such a simple concept, actually applying the law of attraction in everyday life often seems anything but.
You’re trying to feel good about money but your husband can’t stop moaning about the bills.
You’re trying to develop a better perspective on your job, but your co-workers are constantly complaining about everything all the time.
You’re trying to reduce your myriad fears that are holding you back in countless ways, but you can’t seem to get away from all the doom and gloom that is being reported from around the globe.
You’re trying to become more loving and compassionate, but your brother-in-law is constantly spewing forth all sorts of douchiness and you just want to punch him in the face.
You’re trying to be more positive overall, but all your mom wants to talk about is how everything sucks ass, from the economy to the idiot cashier at the supermarket.
There are just so many saboteurs, and it seems really freaking hard sometimes to feel warm, fuzzy and all is right with the world. It can be hard to walk around feeling you will get what you want when there are so many things happening that seem to suggest otherwise. Keeping other people out of our heads can seem like a Herculean task at times.
But here’s the thing my sweets…as difficult as it may be at times, it is something we have to work on if we want to see any significant change in our life, if we really want to harness the power of the law of attraction to the fullest.
We can’t just blame the media, our family and society at large for getting in the way. Your mind will be happy to do that so it can go back to the existence and identity with which it is familiar…it might not be great, but it’s comfortable and it knows what to expect.
You may have started to discover that your mind really doesn’t like change all that much.
The justifications for feeling badly and for your life being the way it is will gain more traction, and before you know it, you are right back to where you started, letting life happen to you rather than exercising the power that has been there all along, but you just didn’t realize you had.
So, if you feel like your vibration is constantly under attack, here are a few ways to shore up the delicious energies that will make you a match to what you want and dissipate the ones that don’t.
Don’t Ignore the Triggers and Feelings…Examine It
When you first start working with law of attraction consciously, you probably have visions of getting all happy and all the stuff you want floating right into your experience in the most delightful and unexpected of ways.
You get that your reality is created by your predominant thoughts, feelings and beliefs, and you just need to start thinking, feeling and acting in a way that supports getting what you want.
Easy peasy right? In theory maybe, but in practice, not so much. You find that you can’t let go of the crappy beliefs so easily…your mind has a very convincing catalog of proof they are true.
Changing your thought patterns, is harder than you anticipated and it’s a lot easier to keep thinking how you have been than the new, happy, shiny thoughts. Shifting the feelings we have been feeling for so long…not so simple.
No matter how much you get law of attraction in theory, and how strongly the idea you create your own reality resonates with you, there is a shit ton of conditioning that needs to be stripped away.
And don’t panic…this doesn’t mean you are doomed until you can totally change your whole inner world and identity. Good stuff can start happening as soon as any shift takes place.
The reason it is so hard to raise your vibration is that you still aren’t fully convinced this law of attraction thing is real. You can’t totally change your whole belief system overnight. You can’t all of a sudden fall in love with yourself after years of picking yourself apart and thinking you’re broken.
And since all of that is still inside of you, it is still going to be mirrored back somehow. You are going to have experiences that reflect all the doubt, fear, low-self esteem, and whatever other yuck is still predominant.
You will see, hear and experience things, and the old way of thinking and being will take over because there is a lot of momentum.
The temptation is to just ignore all of it and pretend everything is fine, and that you are all happy and trusting. But, you’re not, and it’s cool.
You have to admit it.
You have to be honest about the beliefs, thoughts and feelings that are still within.
You have to realize how you are reacting to whatever is bringing you down is because there is a part of you that is a match to that.
One of the biggest barriers to consciously creating our reality is this belief we have to get all happy and ignore all the negativity within. But, if it’s already there, it has to be dealt with.
When you find yourself reacting to things outside of you, and getting knocked out of a better-feeling state, you have to examine what is happening.
What was the trigger and why did it bother you? What limiting belief rose to the surface? What thoughts did it make you start thinking? What feelings did you start to feel?
You have to be honest with yourself here. Don’t shut things down because you feel you ‘shouldn’t’ be feeling a certain way or believing certain things because you know better, or it’s not an ‘enlightened’ perspective. Lots of the beliefs and feelings that come up will probably not be rational…don’t dismiss them for this reason.
If you don’t do this, you’ll never get a full idea of what still needs to be addressed, of what is blocking you from moving into a higher energetic state (at least most of the time).
And if you don’t identify these blocks, good luck attracting the things you want. You’ll continue to live at the mercy of outside forces, and then lament that law of attraction isn’t working.
Just wanting something isn’t enough to bring it to you…you have to be a match to it. And most of us aren’t a great match to the things we want because of the conditioning I mentioned earlier.
But, it doesn’t mean we can never be a match to it. But, getting from where we are now to where we want to be requires us to clean house vibrationally, and take ownership of our experience and feelings. It requires honest evaluation of where we stand right now.
I know this part isn’t fun…again, we didn’t anticipate this part of the process. And that is because there are lots of misconceptions about law of attraction and how we truly shift energy.
You don’t have to go into deep analysis every time something happens that makes you feel badly. When you are feeling really really crappy, the best thing you can do is distract yourself with anything that lightens the mood. I’m a big fan of napping personally.
Distraction can work wonders much of the time. But, it isn’t always going to be the ticket. You are working on changing beliefs that you have held a very long time, and there are going to be times when you have to dive in and see what’s going on.
It may not always be pleasant, and you may have to let yourself feel some things you have been suppressing. But, this doesn’t mean it has to be an exercise in torture. Make peace with the resistance and the pain…this will go a long way in this work.
Imagine How You Want Things to Go And How You Want to Move Throughout the Day
One of the best ways to keep your vibration more stable is putting some energy behind how you want things to play out in your day to day life. We can easily forget that law of attraction is about so much more than getting stuff.
Consciously working with our energy can bring us so many other benefits as well. We can craft our experience so there is less stress and toil, and more flow where things just come together easily and work out perfectly.
That higher vibe leads to all sorts of great things like the super-helpful sales assistant, clients reacting better than expected to a delayed order, going to the store when it is empty and breezing through your shopping, your husband deciding he would clean the house and cook dinner tonight, your daughter being unexpectedly cooperative in doing her chores, the conflict in your schedule resolving itself, and all other awesome happenings.
It can change our interactions with those around us, allowing us to line up with versions of people that are more pleasant, kind and will make our life easier.
It allows solutions to problems to present themselves without you doing a damn thing.
And most importantly, it allows you to manifest all sorts of great things that show what you want is indeed possible, and this proof makes it easier to feel better no matter what is happening around you. This proof makes it easier to chip away at all the beliefs that make you think it isn’t.
So, what is happening in your day to day experience that you would like to be better? What would you want to happen? What scenarios would make it easier to keep vibing high? What feelings do you want to experience more? What feelings do you want to experience less?
Now, while figuring that out is a very important first step that gets some energy flowing towards what you want, it isn’t going to be enough. You are going to have to work a bit on cultivating some more momentum. If an unwanted situation is already in play, it is a lot harder to shift the energy in the moment. You need to do some preliminary work.
Spend a few minutes visualizing these more preferable scenarios each day. You don’t have to worry about getting super-specific. Remember the key is to get into the feelings that you want to be feeling more in your day-to-day experience.
Whatever gets you there is all good because it is the feelings that you ultimately want to experience…how that happens really doesn’t matter, and you can’t figure out all the different ways things can come together that allow you to feel these warm fuzzies anyway.
You may want to think of some affirmations that reflect these desired outcomes and say them throughout the day to flow that energy. The tools really don’t matter…just anything that helps you feel those feelings.
You will be amazed at the changes you will see. You will be amazed at the myriad ways the Universe can support you and orchestrate things so you get exactly what you want and need.
And raising that vibration will get easier and easier because you will become less and less of a match to all the things that can knock it down.
You’re Gonna Have to Make Some Changes and Some of Them May be Uncomfortable
One of the things that you will quickly come to discover as you work with law of attraction is how much things outside of you have been affecting your feelings, thoughts and belief system. You’ll realize so much of the crap you have taken on isn’t yours and never was yours.
It certainly feels like yours because naturally you have manifested a bunch of stuff in your own experience that reflects it all. But again, it’s not and you picked it all up along the way from friends, family, religion, society at large and what have you.
So, because you are not some spiritual master, and this new identity and belief system you are crafting is a bit fragile, you have to work on removing things from your experience that make you feel all icky.
And, some of these changes may be a bit uncomfortable, but you have to be willing to make them if you really want to do, be and have all you want. In some cases, you may not be able to go full bore, and you’ll take baby steps. It’s fine. As long as you are working on it.
If your lunches with co-workers are nothing but a bitching session about your sucky boss and idiotic clients, maybe it’s time to change up your routine. Go for a walk or arm yourself with a book, or some other personal development material that will nourish your mind.
If certain topics of conversation just drag you down, you have to be willing to speak up and say you don’t want to talk about these things. You may have to brace yourself for accusations of being ‘naive’ or in denial about how bad the world is, or that you are stupid for trying to be all positive and shit. People will take it personally, and get all sensitive about their negative ways.
If certain people in your life really aren’t a great match for this new version of yourself you are trying to cultivate, you may have to prepare yourself for the possibility things will change. This doesn’t necessarily mean just cutting people out of your life straight away.
Some people may be able to meet you in that higher vibe and the relationship can go on. But if they can’t meet you there, and spending time with them interferes with your energetic transformation, something’s gotta give.
You have to be willing to set some boundaries and stick to them. You have to let people know what is acceptable and unacceptable in terms of interacting with you.
You’ll have to do an honest assessment of how you are spending your time, and whether these various activities are reflecting the values you have discovered are most important to you, or are just keeping you stuck where you don’t want to be.
You can’t be one of those people who goes on and on about how her life sucks, or that you are too busy to read a personal development book, meditate or exercise, yet somehow find time to watch TV and mindlessly surf the web for hours a day.
If you want your life to be different, you are going to probably have to start doing some things differently. If you really want your energy to change, you have to be willing to do whatever you can to nurture and protect that higher vibration so you can really build some momentum behind that positive energy.
You may not stay there every second, and it’s fine, but you do have to be more consistent. You have to commit. You have to take responsibility.
In Closing…
Unless you want to remove yourself from the world, you are going to have to contend with your limiting beliefs being challenged, other people affecting your mood and all that good stuff. You’re only human and it’s okay if you just can’t get all happy and trusting every second. You are making some big shifts here.
But now that you are more aware of how your reality is created, you have to choose in favor of the thoughts, feelings and beliefs that will help align you with what you want.
You can’t keep blaming how you feel on other people and the fact that the things you want to manifest haven’t shown up yet. You have to realize it is all about choice.
It’s a process for sure, and you want to be compassionate with yourself. Let yourself feel your feelings, and accept the inevitable bad moods and moments of fear and doubt. Luckily perfection is not a necessary ingredient for improving our lives.
But, there has to be that willingness to change your focus and feel better without looking for a reason to do so other than it will help you attract what you want faster.
You would think that would be reason enough, but your mind will make some very compelling arguments to the contrary. There is just not enough momentum behind that way of being, but you can build it up quite nicely.
Over time, your vibration will stay in that higher range more of the time and when you do get knocked out, you’ll be able to make your way back there faster.
Let yourself do things that make you feel better, no matter what they may be. It’s all valuable. That is probably the most important thing you can do.
Your Turn…
What did you think of this post? What resonated with you most? What challenges you in terms of keeping your vibe high? What tips would you give to protect your energy?
Thanks Kelli. This is kind of timely for me, but my situation is worse than those ones you describe. Today was the worst. I’m practising gratitude every day but today made it so hard. First I wake up and it’s freezing and i feel crappy. Go to work and I feel crappier and get a headache. I have to work through the headache, and the a/c is freezing. Now it’s evening and my headache is even worse and to top it all off my husband tells me we have a week to come up with the rent out of thin air. I don’t understand. I was feeling so good for so long and doing a really great job and now it’s all come crashing down in one day. Help! My head hurts so badly I can’t find the energy to think anything good at all.
Hey Bunny
We all have days like that, and us LOA folk who really work on getting those high vibes often find these low times feel even worse in comparison, and couple that with our tendency to totally beat ourselves up for our humanness, and that leaves us feeling pretty shitty. The physical symptoms are particularly tough. You have been going through a lot lately and I think you are just having some major blockages come up. It is always a sign of forward movement though in the moment, it can seem anything but and we are not exactly happy about it. If you can’t think anything good, let yourself be mad and sad and whatever else. It’s even okay to blame other people and be pissed at them because that can move us away from self-blame and once we start feeling better, we can go back to examining our situation from those more ‘enlightened’perspectives. I hope you are feeling better!
Hi Kelly,
I am new to the LOA. I live quiet a negative environment from my husband and his mother. I live in a joint family and what I wish for is to move to a new house with only my husband and me living in the new house happily. But their behaviour turns me off and makes me think negative or to leave my husband
Please advise how to apply and achieve my desire asap.
Hi Lee
There is nothing you can ‘do’ to guarantee any specific outcome in a specific timeframe. The first thing you need to see is what is bothering you specifically about this situation–why does their behavior bother you so much, what is being triggered,etc…? And from this space, you can figure out how you want to feel, how you want these relationships to change–there is no guarantee the other people will change in any way but it is possible to manifest different ‘versions’ of them. This doesn’t mean just trying to become okay with your situation as it is–it is okay to prefer to live with just your husband, to recognize this arrangement is not working for you. You will likely need to have a conversation with him about how you are feeling and how it is impacting you and your relationship. But you want to go within first–it usually turns out better when we approach these situations with the clarity and energy of what we want, rather than fighting against what we don’t.
Thanks for this, Kelly. I’ve been dealing with a similar situation of wanting to move into my own house and I’ve been having some major blockage. Each time I try to relax and visualize my outcomes all I hear is my roommates voice blaring nonstop. She talks every second she’s home, the walls are thin, the hall causes an echo and I can hear and understand every word she says through all parts of the house, even with both of our bedroom doors closed: This has really been bringing down my vibe. I’ve been trying to figure out how to raise my vibration but your reply to Lee has helped me. Lee, I hope you’ve manifest your move!!! Good luck!
Hi Richie
Thanks for your comment and sorry for the delayed response. I am so glad you found it helpful. Yes, other people can certainly challenge our efforts to keep our energy higher but how easily we get knocked out of those vibes is just a reflection of how stable that energy is and it can take a bit before we really feel like outside circumstances don’t really affect us much at all. Sounds like you are doing great!
[ Smiles ] Sometimes, when things are not going my way, I visualize a different outcome. It is impossible to raise one’s vibration if they are sulking.
Lovely post, Keli!
Hi Renard
Thanks so much for your comment. So glad you liked the post. Visualizing can be a really powerful tool.
hey thanks for this great post,it is true the laws of attraction does work and it is never easy to stay positive so that you end up attracting positive things.
Hi Angela
I am so glad you liked the post. You are right it can be difficult sometimes but as long as we just keep getting there bit by bit, lots of great things can start to happen, which will make it easier and easier to stay in a better-feeling state.
Hi, well written and to the point. To want something is really only the tip of the iceberg. To think positvely is one step in the right direction. But, in order to truly attract, it is how you describe it. Thanks! One tend to forget these efforts that are necessary to feel energized. Best regards, Nick.
Hey Nick
So glad you enjoyed the post. You are so right that the deciding is just the first step and we have to just work on the resistance that makes us think we can’t have it…and that is what I hope to do here on the blog…help people overcome that resistance.
this is one of the best posts i’ve read on the law of attraction; its really useful.. so many people have the idea that you can just attract a million dollars within a few days of reading a LOA book; your post explains how it really works! thank you!
Hi Jodie
Thank you so much. So glad you liked it!
It feels like Christmas has come early – just ‘found’ you today – you make your points so articulately and in a style that really resonates with me….so thank you.
I tend to over burden myself with the belief that the negative thoughts are signs that I’m not ‘doing it’ properly or that I’m not deserving – which when you type and read back just sounds lame !
Seeing your take on things helps me know what I know already (deep down) and I’m excited about delving into all your other posts !!
With love & gratitude….
Here’s a link to another article I read today which is mind-blowingly good.
http://time.com/4042834/neuroscience-happy-rituals/
Natalie
Hi Natalie
I just got a comment on this post today and I noticed I never responded to yours…my apologies, must have gotten overlooked by accident. Better late than never right? I am so glad you enjoyed the post and my style of presenting the information…when we resonate in that way, we can take in the information much more easily. It is good to recognize all that self-talk because it clues us in to what is happening, and we can just simply acknowledge it and then politely or not so politely tell it to shut the f up 😉
Hi Kelli,
This post has came at the right time for me. I’m new to the law of attraction and have applied it to little stuff that I’ve wanted or what I’ve wanted to do. I get the whole aspect of feeling “Love” and projecting love will give you what you want. You need to be feeling “love” 51% of the time within that day for you to really manifest so you are on the right tract to receiving whatever it is that you want. My thing is, I feel that way at work, dealing with patients and finding a way to accept how they are and just continue feeling the “love” in me to project that type of energy. But when I get home and the stress of having 5 kids takes a toll on me, that’s when all that goes out the window. With reading your post, I’m really going to try and address the feeling that I have at that moment to bring me back to a “loving” place. Because I want my love of energy to project out so that my house is filled with more love than bickering. Thanks! This post really helped me in my process.
Hi Elizabeth
Thanks so much for your comment and sharing your experience. I think a lot of people can relate to being able to maintain a higher energy in certain situations than others. Family stuff can be especially challenging because of deeply ingrained patterns as far as the dynamics of the relationships between people, the variety of ways we can be triggered by family, history and all that other ‘stuff.’ That you can recognize it is more difficult is a great first step because it will help you start teasing out the specifics of what is challenging you, and you can work on making some changes in perspective and see what actions you can start taking to achieve more balance and peace for yourself and the environment. You will likely need to get more comfortable with prioritizing your well-being…I imagine like many moms, your own needs probably go unmet much of the time, and this energy gets mirrored back to you in countless ways. Just be patient with the process and go easy on yourself…things may not immediately change completely, but things can begin to shift incrementally rather quickly.
Thank you for this post. Just as usual I thought I was ” doing it wrong” . I am grateful to see that I am, most of the time, in alignment and don’t realize it. Thank you for your insights. My next plan is to take the tv out of my living room
This was vry helpfull, i thing when things are not going the way we want it means its time to order something new in our life
Fr exmple uh hv new mobile, when we have something in our hand we are exicted about it, we feel soo good about it, but after some period of time we get bored, because we see better mobiles in market, and we purches new one, i want say our life is not worse, just we get bored with our routen life, whenever we hv crapy feeling, bad feeling, we feel worse abt ourself. Remind yourself its time to order new things in, our life. And please dont mind i cant speak english properly.. But i was willing to share my experience with U. I wish it ll be helpful for you thank you
Loved this post for the eloquent and coherent delivery of sublime; timeless wisdom. So much more to this post than simply the written word, which means that for sure it will truly resonate with all rising souls who happen to pass this way. Making this post a truly powerful tool indeed and a source of greater understandings too. Great work, appreciated share, thank you, regard, Barry
Hi Barry
Thank you so much for your comment and I am so glad you enjoyed the post.
waaaaw Kelli, everytime I search on a topic about LOA your blog always shows up in my search with exactly what I’m looking for. I commented on a post yesterday about anger, I’m really frustrated with my parents because they act little emotionally controlling and want to me and threaten me with failure and religion that it’s going to work, I was really upset about it but I came back to my energy fast and its keeps getting faster and faster, I just don’t know what to do with them, my culture rules are very strict about how to treat your parents and I don’t want to disrespect them and I also want them to be part of my life and fulfilled dream later on, the best I can do is stay in my room and my computer reading all the good stuff and working on my desire. I set this recently to stay away from being with them often and to stay away from talking to them often.
Hi Tina
Our relationships, especially with parents, can be some of the most challenging aspects of our life but the more challenging, the greater the ‘teacher’ they can be. All the emotion you have now and your struggle is normal so do your best to just process what is happening without being in resistance to it so much–I know that is easier said than done. Depending on the situation and what you are wanting to do, you may have to start taking steps towards that before they are in ‘agreement’ with you or you have resolved the issues with them fully.
This was a beautifu article. I was holding some feelings in that I hadnt really felt in a long time and after reading this i felt much more peaceful. I was reminded from this article that its okay to feel sad…I didnt realize that when trying to attract a better life for myself that part of it is owning what im experiencing right now in the moment. Thank you for helping me get in touch with that! I think theres always been a fear that if i feel bad ill just keep attracting bad so i supress those feelings trying to always be happy or positive… Thinking if i dnt I wont have a better life. It seems though I cant truly move forward and manifest wonderful things if I dont first face the things that hold me back. 🙂 Blessing to you and thank u again!!
Hi Louisa
Thanks so much for your comment and sharing your experience. I think when we study something like manifesting, it is easy to jump right to trying to feel better or be ‘positive’ and we overlook the energies and feelings that we are coping with now. Dealing with emotion that is already there is not the same as focusing in ways that don’t serve us and generate ‘new’ emotions. It sounds like you are doing great!
I keep trying, really making the effort to do the inner work and have confidence and live in power but things only get a little better for a bit…then something major happens that makes me feel so much pain and like I’ve not made any progress at all. It’s very frustrating to be putting in all the effort to shift focus and act from a high vibrational space only to be confronted with the same shitty results, and because it’s my fault since its my creation/doing I feel even more pathetic and stupid like nothing will ever work no matter how hard I try. I don’t know what to do anymore, I wish I could self harm like I used to but I’m sure that will bring more bad things my way…
Hi Ella
Thanks for your comment and I think a lot of people have experienced what you have…I know I did. It is important to know that nothing has gone wrong. These experiences are just showing up to show you things in your energy that need to be dealt with to really embody the vibration, perspectives and beliefs you are consciously working to make ‘your own.’ And it is so so important to remember IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. Taking responsibility for our energy is not about blaming ourselves for the bad things that happen. Right now you need to surrender to the emotions that are being triggered by the manifestations–work through them and that is where true energetic transformation comes in.
I don’t usually comment on blog posts, but….. WOW….. lady, plz accept 2 gold medals for such a brilliant, perfect, impactful piece that resonated fully with me! I started listening (bingeing) to Abraham a year ago, and in a few months I figured it out…. I figured out the Art of Deliberate Creation, but what really got to me with your article was how PERFECTLY u hit the nail on the head, over and over again, for those of us who currently live in less-than-desirable environments! Again, WOW, just WOW and thank u for making my day <3 There are so many people who claim to practise & teach LOA, yet they spout bullshit, and yet here u are just making my day, on a morning when I decided to google, cuz I needed some help raising my vibration before I ended up "falling out of the parachute" and creating even more SHIT 😀 Thank u and a whole bunch of LOVE to u <3 <3 <3
Hey Marissa
Thanks so much for your comment and I am so glad you enjoyed the post and felt like taking the time to express your thoughts considering it is not something you normally do. The theory and reality of manifesting can be worlds apart and I try to help bridge that gap by discussing the laundry list of things that make that alignment a bit more difficult at times. Just keep doing what you are doing!
Hey enjoyed reading this, I started learning about LOA 4 months back, I too had tried to ignore sad feelings and feel happy (if I acknowledged the sad feelings id receive more of the same). So for example, a new boyfriend stopped contacting me a couple weeks back. If im honest I knew he wasnt long term material, yet i was upset he withdrew, I felt I failed again (my past two boyfriends ended it). I was a good girlfriend. I tried to forget the recent experience out of fear of attracting further sadness but I know I havent dealt with it as if I see reminders I cry. How do I know whst the blick is +when I find out how do I dissolve it? Can you suggest any block removal? Thank you
Hi Paula
Relationships are great teachers in so many ways. The first thing you must realize is you don’t have a problem in this area in particular. There are ‘broader’ energies at play that are simply being mirrored back to you in this part of your life. To uncover more deeply what is going on, you should think about how these experiences have made you feel. What beliefs and fears are being triggered? What meaning are you assigning to these experiences? What do you think they say about you? All of that is the true reason you feel badly. Healing that is the key to creating a ‘cleaner’ energy from which you can manifest a relationship. As for removing the blocks, it simply comes down to consciously choosing to reject the beliefs and perspectives that are causing you pain. They might not go away immediately but that is powerful in allowing a shift to take place.
Being constantly surrounded by negative, whining people, I realize it is their issue and not mine and I go back to my happy place much faster. If their words and actions continue I physically remove myself and go back to my peaceful moments. I cannot change others but I can change the moment to be good for myself. That the best thing I have ever done to improve my life. Improve one moment at a time.
Hi there
Thanks for your comment and it sounds like you are pretty skilled at protecting your energy from others and that is a huge boon to conscious creation as that is one of the biggest challenges. I totally agree with moment to moment–that is all we really can do anyway since all we ever have is now. Thanks for your great insights!
Thank you! I really wanted to let you know that the part about examining what limiting beliefs are causing my negative emotions really helped me today. I’ve been having a lot of issue keeping my vibration up when I’m interacting with others, and I realized today that this is because of a limiting belief I hold regarding needing silence and solitude for spiritual development. I also still have a lot of beliefs related to feeling like I have very little influence on others, while they have a LOT of influence over me. Now that I realize those are there, I don’t feel so powerless and angry. Thank you again.
Hi Morgie
Thanks so much for your comment and I am so glad you enjoyed the post. You shared such great insights here and it sounds like you have come to a lot of helpful realizations. One of the great things we can come to realize is we can have preferences for our environment,etc…and do our best to realize them but also remember nothing is absolutely necessary in order to achieve a specific thing.
this answer in goooood
Glad you liked it!
This was actually quite profound and put a lot of things into perspective for me. Thank you for taking the time to write this and share it with others.
Hi Natasha
Thanks so much for your comment and so glad you enjoyed it!
Hi Kelli, I am a Law of Attraction Spiritual Coach and just felt like leaving a comment because not only I totally agree with what you say, but it is always good to see someone else into the LOA that dives deeper than the surface and touches things like old beliefs and clearing the old before moving into manifesting what you want. I can see you’ve been in the path of self-discovery yourself and you write from your own personal experience, because I do the same. Like attracts like I guess! Anyway, just wanted to say that and I always feel happy to find like-minded people! Namaste. 🙂 Carla
Hi Carla
Thanks so much for your comment and so glad you enjoyed the post. I do try to focus on this stuff more because I think a lot of LOA teachings sometimes forget to take into account the ‘human’ factor. The theory and reality of manifesting can be quite different when this is taken into account!
Hi Kelly,
Bit question, I currently learning to cope with negativity of my parents and myself have done well. However, 1 thing that get my nerve is aside of being negative they also demand you to do something that suppose not to be your responsibilities. If we don’t fulfill their demands at that time they get very upset with us and involve lot of drama. Sometimes I am willing to help, but keep doing what they want, I don’t think it feels right. E.g.: you have appointment with other friends, but then they suddenly come and asking you to buy something in supermarket, well I said I will be late for meeting if I help you, you might just get it by your own since you can ride your car. But, what they said? It is okay to be late for 15 mins, your friends can wait, since you are not going for formal appointment. Well, I don’t just feel right about it, whether your meeting is important or not? Being on time is a must, you can’t let other wait for you especially when you know you are late not because of something that you have not choice at all, you know your parents can do it by themselves, but they still asking you despite knowing you have appointment. I don’t thing this right, I think they are just being selfish and immature when they put their responsibilities to the others. Could it the other way to cope with this. I mean rejecting them without offending them. I just don’t like how they would force what they want to me when I don’t like doing it. Talking negative is okay, I can cope with it, just don’t take it personal all those negative things they talk about. However asking you to do something you don’t like, it is like betraying yourself and when you reject them, they will give you more drama. But if I fulfill their demands, they will keep doing it more often and dependent of you, just like keep fulfilling the wishes of spoiled kid, it get worse anytime
Marcel, I wish your comment was answered because I totally understand what you mean by “betraying yourself” … this is how I feel when my husband asks me to do things that I don’t want to do and he also has no regards for my time. It almost feels shameful to do what he wants. Why? Maybe you and I could raise our self-esteem and just say: “look I have other plans and if you’d like I can help you at this other time that works for me.”? In a polite, loving way. If we stay in love in theory it should work. So as always the first step is: SELF-LOVE.
Hi Vie
It sounds like you answered your own concern…it may be time to start being more vocal about how you feel and setting boundaries. Self-love is where it all starts.
How do you manifest the Law of Attraction when you suffer from sever depression and anxiety… trust me it is not what I want and I work on myself daily and with a therapist, meds, etc…. but there has some way to work with the LOA if you suffer from things like this…thank You for listening.
Hi Richard
When answering comments as opposed to speaking to someone one on one, I can only give very general advice but I think it will be helpful. First, it is really important to honor where we are starting when we begin this ‘work’ of changing our energy, our belief system,etc… Often times we try to embody an mental and emotional state that is really far from where we are now, and this usually ends up making us feel even worse since we can’t really maintain this energy, since we really don’t actually believe the things we are trying to believe are true, are hoping are true. When our reality doesn’t change immediately, our mind really won’t let us keep feeling better for no ‘reason.’ This is particularly important for people who are dealing with depression and more serious anxiety.You may not just jump right to being happy for no reason, believing anything is possible. But you might be able to start with a willingness to believe getting better is a possibility, even if you don’t know how that journey will look yet. That alone can create some relief. Another key is looking at these issues in a way that is just beyond physical and material in terms of causes and treatments–such as a chemical imbalance in the brain that makes us depressed and if we can’t find a medication that works to correct it, we’re basically screwed. To be clear here, I am NOT saying to not take medications or that they don’t have value–for many people they are helpful. But if these treatments are not working, it is worth exploring other possible contributing factors, such as painful beliefs, lack of a spiritual connection, how we view ourselves,etc… It can empower us to think the issue stems from our thinking and belief system, which is something we can change, something we can control.
Best part for me ;
Over time, your vibration will stay in that higher range more of the time and when you do get knocked out, you’ll be able to make your way back there faster.
Hi Roy
Thanks so much for your comment and I am glad you enjoyed the post. It is great when we start becoming more stable in that higher energy…less ‘trying’ to be that way. We just are that way more naturally.
Hi Kelli, congratulations on a wonderful article. I’ve really enjoyed reading through it, and feel that all your points on changing the habitual negative thoughts that constantly come in will make it so much easier to focus, and get back on track. I’ve bookmarked this and will re read it whenever I’m in a slump. It has been very difficult to change my vibration to attract what I would like, but I never believe it can’t be done. Thank you sooooo much. x x
Hi Dianne
Thanks so much for your comment and I am so glad you enjoyed it. It sounds like you found some information that is very timely for you at the moment, and that is an awesome manifestation!
I’ve bought your books, and you really put LOA into a perspective that I could communicate with personally. I have all these resources to tell me how to change my outlook, and that I ‘need’ to change my vibration, but every day I’m still so stuck in my thoughts, and it’s so hard to not be. I’m super close to ending up on the street with nothing, and I keep applying to job after job, and keep wondering what it is I’m doing that’s wrong. I know if My thoughts keep going to ‘your broke with no job, your failing at life’ then that’s what i’m going to see and get. When your in such a bad state of things, how do I focus on the good things? when bills just loom above your head like a guillotine, ready to take you out of life?
Hi there
Sorry for the delayed response…this got lost in the shuffle. I am so glad you found my content resonant and were able to make better sense of the teaching…it’s simple but our mind can make it a bit harder to process the fundamentals without a bit of extra explanation. The only thing you are doing ‘wrong’ is trying to solve all your problems through action driven by the all-too-common tendency to arrange things outside so we can feel better inside. Now, it’s okay we don’t feel okay inside–we shouldn’t because there is no reason to have many of the problems we have–but when that energy becomes the core driver of your work, all that happens is you remain focused on what you don’t want, and we know where that leads. Your situation is really triggering your ‘survival’ mode with deep fears about basic needs not being met. This energy isn’t easy to deal with, and it’s okay you are struggling. It’s understandable. The key here is a willingness to adopt ‘energetic goals’ that make no logical sense. Energetically, how would it FEEL (again, this isn’t for your mind) to be totally okay with the worst case scenario? You don’t find a job, you have to suck up your pride and crash on a friend’s couch or even worse…go to a homeless shelter (yikes!). Now, your mind will fight you on this because it thinks being ‘okay’ with these situations makes them more likely to happen. It totally DOES NOT GET the exact opposite is more likely–by being okay with the unwanted ENERGETICALLY, it means we aren’t worrying about it and resisting it…and lacking this, we aren’t thinking too much about it. Or when we do, the ‘charge’ isn’t there. I know you probably feel like you can’t stop taking action in the form of looking for work,etc…and you don’t necessarily have to stop, BUT prioritize the energy over the action. Your mind will fight you on this and you will be faced with the choice of deferring to it and its thinking (consider where it has gotten you) or having a bit of faith and trust and work on the energy in the face of it. Obviously, this is very general but I think it hits on the biggest thing to focus on. Good luck!
I have been studying LOA for months now. I fill my free time with various motivational and LOA podcasts and videos. I am currently reading The Magic to move me along my path and am even seeing some minor changes in how my business life is flowing which is SO motivating! I realize it will take time to purge myself of my own limiting beliefs and negative energy but how do I deal with the negative external forces? I hear about “taking the path of least resistance” when faced with these. I pray to God every day to give me the strength to overcome but still feel overwhelmed! What do I do when these negative forces are my mother, my partner and my own child? Although I love them, when dealing with them, it feels like my life force is being sucked dry.
Hi Sherri
That’s great you are seeing movement in those areas. The advice for the family can only go extremely general since I would need more information about the exact nature of the dynamic and what is bothering you about them specifically and that would require a one on one conversation. But the most important thing I would say is the first step in changing energy as it relates to our relationships is we must take responsibility for our reactions to what others say and do–our mind tells us they are causing these negative feelings and then we blame them and then we’re stuck from there since we can’t control other people. It doesn’t mean others aren’t being annoying, unreasonable, mean, or whatever, but our reaction is still all about us.You’re human and you probably won’t be perfect at this every time but you must try. I also imagine that some boundaries need to be set and you must commit to enforcing them…that often takes care of a lot of problems. Good luck!
I am here because my ex recommended this website. I am still dealing with the breakup and my feelings are a terrible cocktail. Some days I am very positive and I think I can make it and then again I feel down. All my world changed in a moment I thought I had a life with him. I have a daughter but not with my last ex. My mistake was to believe that promises are true statements. Now I am surfing in a confusing and stormy sea trying to find my shore. I was in a mental hospital because deep depression I want to move on, change what I need to change but I need a guide.
Hi Grace
It is normal to experience highs and lows when we are trying to heal from a situation that caused us a lot of pain. Just be sure you aren’t putting too much pressure on yourself to be happy, don’t beat yourself up when you feel badly. It is also important to recognize when you are just letting up emotion that is there so it doesn’t build up and remain dominant, but you are generally moving towards beliefs and perspectives that feel better and you’re ‘making’ room for this energy by unloading some of the ‘old’ or when we are fighting for our negative feelings an really fighting for the beliefs that are causing the pain. Remember that why you are truly upset actually has little to do with the break-up…it’s the story your mind is telling about it that probably feels really painful, such as what it says about you as a person, what it means for the future,etc… If you are in a more fragile emotional state, such as depression, make sure your top-of-mind goal is trying to truly feel better not just trying to change your outside circumstances in a way that your mind thinks will make the feelings go away. Personal coaching or therapy might be useful if you think you need a guide in the form of some one on one attention. I do offer personal coaching if you find my work resonant. It sounds like you truly have the intention to heal…that is 90 percent of it right there and you will get there.
Thank you 🙂
I feel that i ending up here is a blessing and that you are still replying to comments makes me really value this more.
You said in closing that, “You can’t be one of those people who goes on and on about how her life sucks, or that you are too busy to read a personal development book, meditate or exercise, yet somehow find time to watch TV and mindlessly surf the web for hours a day.”
I admit i can be that person, maybe not for hours a day but whenever i do get that little free time to only myself away from my son and partner and work and everything all i seem to be able to do is the mindless stuff. it’s like i have no space or energy for what i love, so my question is how do we determine what is blocking us?
I know it’s from the conditioning and i try not to beat myself up about anything but does it take a therapist to help us identify our blocks or is there a personal development book you can recommend? I’m in a place where i can’t tell what i need to improve specifically. Is smoking blocking me? Cause i feel like it’s helping me. Do i need my own place? what if its better for me to stay living here. I’m having a hard time figuring out what to focus on.
Hi Petra
Without speaking with you personally, it would be hard to say what specific steps would benefit you most right now. As for external resources–books, therapy,etc…there is no set thing or things that everyone must do or will work for everyone or I could suggest and that would guarantee some sort of result. We tend to manifest the most helpful resources right when we need them–you finding this post and website for example. You feel resonant with the content and you may find value exploring more of it. Therapy or some sort of coaching or other individual one on one assistance may be something to consider if that is what’s resonating. Just know that while external resources have great value and most of us utilize them in some way throughout the journey, nothing outside of us is NECESSARY so don’t stress nothing can change unless you find the ‘right’ thing first. The best place to start is figuring out how you want to feel overall and in specific areas of your life and this sets the stage for figuring out what changes to make in your life that will allow for these energies to build and thrive.
Hi Kelli,
Thank you so much for this great article! Seems likes it was written especially for me! The past couple of days, I have slipped from a higher vibration, back into the lowest of my old patterns of thought and have had a very hard time. It is for this reason that I am so glad to have found your blog!
It is somehow comforting that I was just not imagining this, but it always seemed like the more I start working on and operating at the higher vibrations, the outside world would seem to come against it and attempt to swat it down. Sometimes it was just me allowing falling back into panic and anxiety.
Thank you again for the spot on insight!
Best Regards.
Joe
Hi Joe
Thanks so much for your comment and I am so glad you found the post helpful. It is common for this to happen. When we really start trying to change that core vibe consistently, we just have to deal with whatever would prevent that from happening. And sometimes we just have bad days and that is normal. We’ll still react emotionally to mind chatter, to outside circumstances the mind judges negatively in some way. That is all par for the course for us humans! Sounds like you are doing great. Just work on creating some space between these thoughts and feelings and the part of you observing it…that part is untouched by all of it.
Thank you Kelli for this article. It has helped me tremendously. I used to keep my vibration high until I went through something traumatic and I just couldn’t seem to bring it up but now I realize I’ve been ruminating and keeping myself stuck in guilt, sadness and anger over things past. This article shows me I need to go to the source of my feelings and over time things will shift. Thank you again for such an informative article ❤️
Hi Sandy
Thanks so much for your comment and I am so glad you found the post helpful. Truly embracing that power of choice is life-changing. It feels very good to know these experiences don’t have to be the dominant influence on our emotional world. It feels good to know that we can actually use these experiences to actually become happier, emotionally healthier people. That you made this choice has already changed your energy before you’ve even ‘done’ anything yet.
Hey kelli
Thank you so much for this article I appreciate your work. I’m here because I have a very strict religious parents and all they do is try to control my life on whatever they want me to do. I want to talk to them maturely and respectively but whenever I talk to them they keep blaming me and my faith. I don’t practice my religion and I’m just moderate. I don’t want to cut them out because they’re my parents but they’re stopping me on what I will achieve, my dreams, and what person that I need to marry. I don’t wanna live a life like this anymore and as I said earlier I set boundaries but they blame me and my faith. Does the law of attraction or manifestation work on the things that I want above? Because I want to achieve my dream without them judging me, marry a person I personally want, achieve my goals etc. I would really appreciate your response Kelli.
Hi Ali
Thank you for your comment and I am so glad you found the post helpful. Without speaking with you personally, I can only give some general insights but I think you will find them valuable. First, situations like this are very challenging when there are strong cultural/religious influences and parents believe there is a very set way we are supposed to live and your beliefs and wants strongly contradict it–if you can accept this will be a challenging situation and you will have to contend with a lot of discomfort, you will make things a lot easier on yourself. Secondly, when it comes to manifesting better relationships with people in terms of them accepting our choices and us for who we are, we need to start within–we need to get greater clarity on what we want, feel comfortable with it, deal with the parts of us that question whether the other people are ‘right’,etc… With this clarity, there isn’t as much insecurity,etc…to be mirrored back to us in the form of others judging our choices, fighting with them,etc… Your parents may not accept what you do but it is more likely they will not fight you on it. Your mind sees two choices right now–do what you want and not be able to talk to your family or maintain peace with them and live a life you don’t want to live and neither sounds great but it’s not an accurate picture of your situation. You can’t know how things will unfold over time but there is always a possibility you may need to separate from them–not necessarily forever–if they can’t accept your choices and they are very rigid in their belief system. Make peace with this possibility but don’t obsess about it.
Thanks for reply Kelli! Appreciate it very much.
I know it’s been a while since I commented but things do get a lot better overtime overtime ( if because I was manifesting better relationship) but I just want to know specifically on how to manifest people to say yes in general. Like I understood the point that u said they may not agree with u but they won’t fight you about it like it totally makes sense. I just want to know how to manifest people to say yes and be less offensive even though they don’t agree with me. Can you be more specific Kelli? I would appreciate ur response.
Hi Ali
Focusing on how to get something to happen outside of us rather than making the inner transformations that naturally change our outside circumstances is what slows us down. If the relationships in your life and how people treat you are a reflection of what is happening inside, examining what is going on there is where you start. Putting all your effort into trying to attract different versions of people or somehow hoping you can make people respond differently really won’t get much of a result. If you attract a lot of people who criticize your choices for example,, that means that a part of you is insecure or unsure about them, and this lack of clarity is being mirrored back. So by exploring that lack of clarity and getting more comfortable with your choices, you would be less likely to attract criticism or even if you did, it wouldn’t bother you. That is the real goal–responding differently. If what people said or did didn’t bother us, we wouldn’t care. The only reasons we want to make these sorts of changes is because it does bother us.
Thank you. I was trying to tell my boyfriend to come along and he got offended and I was almost let down. But I tried to calm myself down and manifested different things. He almost got aggressive. And that night I had the dream again (i have dreamt this many times before) where a woman stirs up a fight between us. In the dream i was trying to fight her and make her known to be the trouble but my boyfriend was mad towards me for being mean towards her. Wow. My boyfriend woke me up. I woke up upset and yelled at him thinking i was still dreaming. Then he said something really triggered the bad out of me. Normally I’d react and fight back but I decided to realize that maybe vibrations are not coming together here, its not US. So i turned around and just prayed and told myself I will shift my mood, wouldn’t back down and let myself go back to where I used to be. And I said in myself ‘I am talking to you (my bf) subconscious, that one day you will follow me and experience good things in life and your perceptions about the world will eventually change. I believe that we will be happy, optimistic about life very soon’. And I looked up on google to get help from the experts like you and glad I found this article. Thank you 🙏 I feel much better and my mood is lifted again and I believe that my vibration has returned to the upper level.