Law of Attraction: How Can I Keep My Ego Out of the Game?

How do we keep our ego from being a motivator in manifesting certain things? And will your ego prevent you from manifesting?

Love this question for a million reasons. And like many of these super-awesome questions, I can’t even come close to answering it at the level I would love to.

Accepting Our Humanness

One of the things that most helped me make real, meaningful, significant shifts in my energy was accepting I was a human being. And that this would mean I would probably never totally extract myself from the workings of my ego, continue to feel the full gamut of feelings we tend to experience, probably be attached to certain things happening ,certain channels through which manifestations may come, base my feelings on outside circumstances, insist certain things happening would indeed make me happier, would be the salve for various emotional wounds and negative feelings.

That was a mouthful wasn’t it?

Totally transcending the ego is certainly possible I suppose, but I imagine most of us aren’t aiming for this type of experience. It’s a pretty safe bet most of you reading this plan to remain ‘of’ the world and all its trappings. I know I do.

Your manifesting intentions may never be as pure as snow. Feeling good may never be the true end for you; the positive emotion you get from taking warm, fuzzy inspired action may never fully be its own reward.

You may never be fully convinced that nothing outside of you is necessary to be happy.

There may always be that part of you that believes you will truly feel better if you just made a little extra money, if you got that prestigious job title, if you were thinner or had a nicer wardrobe, if you were a bit more recognized in your field.

This is just our cross to bear I suppose. But the good news is, while our mind/ego may never stop doing what it does, our relationship to what it’s doing can change drastically. That is really the goal, at least in my opinion.

How the Mind Can Slow Manifesting

The mind can get in the way of manifesting in many ways. It doesn’t always stop things in its tracks completely, but may slow down the process of allowing in the things we truly want, which is often very different from what our mind wants.

The things that would satisfy the ego often wouldn’t do anything to satisfy our soul; they wouldn’t really ever provide us what we are truly looking for, because that doesn’t come from anything outside of us.

Your ego has likely set a lot of arbitrary goals it wants to meet, goals that ultimately mean nothing. And something that doesn’t mean anything probably won’t make you feel much of anything once you acquire it.

So we go nuts trying to make all these different things happen, whether through action and/or energetic work, that ultimately we won’t give a shit about once it shows up.

You may set out to manifest a lot of money because that represents something desirable to you–accomplishment, success, envy, having ‘proved’ something to a particular person or the world at large.

And you manage to vibe at the level where you get that money, but it didn’t really make you any happier.

This isn’t to say that you should not want anything. It’s okay to want money for example, but if we are trying to manifest it from a space of ‘ego’ and believing it will make any real difference in how we feel, we are misguided to say the least.

Our ego desire for money for example, may lead us to pursue careers and opportunities strictly for the financial perks. And we are making that sweet cash but don’t like our jobs very much so who cares? You might even have a job that keeps you so busy, you can’t even enjoy all this cheddar you are banking.

Because our mind can only focus in on what it has already seen and experienced, possibilities and opportunities that have already materialized in our orbit, it tends to get very attached to these representations of our manifestation, namely because we have a deep, deep fear we aren’t going to get what we want, and there won’t be another chance.

As the conscious creator begins to grasp more and more about energy, he or she begins to form a very solid intellectual understanding of what our mind is doing and why we don’t need to worry the way we do. But on an emotional level, well…I’m sure you all know what I’m getting at. Been there, done that a million times.

And this attachment cuts us off from possibility. It takes us out of flow. We are creating a big old energetic wall by zeroing in on such specifics. And our mind’s insistence it knows best what we want doesn’t help matters much.

If you are living and breathing, you are manifesting, so no, the ego can’t stop you from attracting things. You are attracting shit all the livelong day.

But it can certainly impact what shows up, what your manifestations represent to you personally and keep you from being your authentic self. It is harder to attract what you truly want when aren’t being who you truly are.

Like we have already established, the ego can certainly prevent you from manifesting the best, most awesome stuff, the best representations of the energy you wish to see in your life. What your ego wants and what would truly make you happiest more than likely don’t line up.

The ego can certainly hamper your ability to apply this knowledge in the most powerful, awesome, magical ways possible. But we learn to manage all this which minimizes the damage.

Ego Wants as Natural Byproducts

I think the crux of confusion on this matter stems from the fact that we can’t possibly imagine wanting something without that sense of ‘need’ that tends to come along with it.

After all, it is lack that typically triggers a desire, and we may be feeling that lack quite strongly. And why wouldn’t we? We are very convinced certain things must happen for us if we are to be happy people.

What I found as my frustration over not being able to manifest what my mind wanted, and pretty much control my reality exactly to my liking, was that you can certainly want things in this human experience, that it can be very important certain things happen for you in life, without feeling that strong sense of ‘need.’

You want it yet at the same time, you kind of stop giving a shit. This is one of those paradoxes we totally get on an intuitive, emotional level, but can’t wrap our heads around on a mind-level.

When I got down to the business of dealing with my shit, all the pain that was driving my desire for this thing and that thing, a really funny thing happened.

I stopped caring so much about making certain things happen; I stopped feeling so much pain about my circumstances; I felt better in the moment no matter what was happening. I stopped telling all the bad-feeling stories that were plaguing me. 

I definitely still wanted certain things, I still wanted my life to look a certain way. Don’t get me wrong.

But that ‘need’, that frustration, wasn’t really there anymore.

And I made the most amazing observation–all that ‘stuff’ happened anyway without me trying, focusing, affirming, journaling or anything else.

I just dealt with the shit and made some room for new energy, and there you have it.

Again, you will still want what you want, but no ‘need.’ You know that the money and all the other ‘stuff’ will be natural byproducts of all the great energy you are cultivating.

And without this worry about whether this stuff will show up or not, you start moving away from ego. You’ll take actions, you’ll do things, you’ll run your business,  but the main motivator will be that enjoyment.

You will ‘give’ without worrying about what you are going to ‘get’ in return. You may still want to ‘get’ on some level, but again, you know all that of that will be taken care of automatically.

And again, you haven’t given up on the ‘stuff.’ You just know it’s taken care of, and you are not going to concern yourself with worrying about it, or trying to manipulate circumstances and people to get it.

What May Happen

For anyone with a genuine interest in keeping their ego from calling the shots when it comes to conscious creation, you may be in for a bit of a bumpy ride. At least that was my experience. But any situation that helps free me from the bondage of our mind’s bullshit in a real, lasting way, is worth it. 

You will likely go through numerous cycles of feeling so frustrated with your manifesting efforts, so sick of feeling so badly without your ‘stuff,’ so fed up with trying to ‘work’ on yourself and raise your vibration, so exhausted from trying to bolster yourself up emotionally strictly as a means to getting what you want, that you just totally ‘give up.’

And with each cycle, you cement more deeply, all of this profound wisdom about openness, detachment, manifesting for your highest good, and how incredibly fucked up your mind is.

And in my experience, this process can feel a bit depressing at times. If nothing can truly make us happy, then what’s the point? You may have put so much energy towards certain goals, and you don’t know what to do with it–that can make you feel a bit unsettled and anxious.

You may step back a bit from life in general. You may put some goals on hold while you re-evaluate. You may feel a bit lost. Yet at the same time, the sweet sense of relief you may feel as you give fewer and fewer fucks, provides a nice balance and makes it all bearable. Trust me on that one. 

You may find yourself faced with some hard questions about your life and how you are conducting it; you may wonder if you even want any of the things you have or are working towards.  The disillusionment might set in big time.

In these moments, it’s good to just take it easy, don’t be too hard on yourself, and prioritize general energy management (this is really the best thing to do always actually.)

Embrace all the ‘ick.’ Lean into any confusion that might result when you figure out you actually might not want any of the things you are wanting now, but are not sure what you do.

Learn to trust the Universe and stop trying to control EVERY. FUCKING. THING.

Isn’t being a conscious creator, being almost constantly uncomfortable and questioning everything you have ever thought or believed just super-fun?

Your Turn

What did you think? Anything resonate in particular? Any advice or insight to share? Looking forward to your comments as always.

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