Law of Attraction: Making Positive Change That’s Hard or Not ‘Fun’

Do you have any ideas on how the law of attraction intersects with willpower when we’re trying to make positive life changes that may not seem fun? We’re not supposed to manifest from a place of struggle, hard work, and suffering, but what about daily activities like going to the gym, eating better, etc. that seem to take conscious habit-forming and dedication? Many people would like to manifest better health but struggle to make these habits last or to get started on them at all. Are these sorts of changes something LOA can help with?

The Problem with Willpower

Some positive changes can be difficult to implement, with prime examples noted above. We may not be accustomed to exercising regularly, eating right, meditating or other activities that we know would be beneficial for us, that we want to make a regular part of our lives. Making these things a part of our lives can be a process, and it may be uncomfortable at times. That is normal and understandable.

And this is the part where we  believe we need to muster up some ‘willpower.’ And what is ‘willpower?’ To me, it is basically forcing yourself to do something you don’t want to do, that feels unnatural or unpleasant in some way. You are fighting against the desire not do this thing, and to maybe do something else instead that is ‘bad’ for you.

And from an energetic perspective, ‘fighting against’ is really never the way. Some people are really good at doing this, and can force themselves to do things they don’t want to do for long periods of time. And they may get the results they want, but that can be cold comfort when said results come at a high cost.

For example, someone who is very intent on losing weight, and maintaining a certain type of body, may have very strong willpower when it comes to not eating certain types of foods, and eating very little. She maintains her rocking body but she feels deprived; she may always feel hungry. Her whole world may revolve around staying thin, and it is a great source of anxiety.

So she’s skinny like she wants, but she’s probably not very happy.

Again, making positive change can be uncomfortable, and we have to exert some discipline. But this is very different than how we normally go about trying to make positive change by using ‘willpower’ to fight against the energy and tendencies already there.

Making these changes shouldn’t feel this hard. It shouldn’t feel painful or like we are suffering. When we get things right energetically, making changes in our lives we know will benefit us is a lot easier; we can more quickly adopt better habits and drop the troublesome ones. We remove the energetic conflicts between what we are consciously wanting to do, and what we subconsciously want. 

Intellectually understanding something is good for us often isn’t enough to actually start doing it–if it was, we would easily make the choices that support us being healthy physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

And similarly, understanding something is ‘bad’ for us on an intellectual level often isn’t enough, or we would be able to quit smoking, drugs,alcohol or overeating no sweat. We likely wouldn’t have picked up these habits in the first place.

In order to make positive change in a less painful, frustrating way, we need to go within and see what is going on.

What is the Energy Driving You?

We never do anything for absolutely no reason. Our actions, choices and behaviors do not operate independent of our energy. Something is making us do what we do; something is making us not do things we may want to do. Our actions are manifestations of our energy, always. 

In order to make positive change and make choices we think will benefit us, we have to examine why we are making the ones that don’t, that are holding us back from doing the ‘good’ stuff.

This is the step we often skip; we just go right to trying to do what we think we should do, what is good for us, mustering up the ‘willpower’ to do something that feels really unnatural in the moment, fighting against our desire to do the ‘bad’ stuff.

So, you have to think about why you smoke or drink excessively? Why do you overeat? Why do you opt to sit on the couch zoning out in front of the TV for hours, rather than exercise, read a personal development book, or take that class that will help you further your career?

Does being overweight serve you somehow? Maybe it is the perfect scapegoat for your life being the way it is. Maybe deep down you worry you just aren’t good enough, and if you lose the weight and still don’t get what you want, this fear will be confirmed.

Are you afraid your journey towards self-improvement will lead you away from your boyfriend or your family, or force you to face things that have been long-buried, that scare you? Do you think you are a ‘bad’ person who doesn’t deserve a better life?

Do drinking and drugs bond you to people, and you feel like you wouldn’t be able to maintain your friendships if you no longer partake, since that may be the only thing you have in common?

Have you so strongly identified with being a failure, unhappy or the ‘victim’ that you may actually be scared to let that all go, no matter how much you desire a happier, healthier and more successful you?

Are you worried if things are going ‘too good’ something bad will happen to even things out?

Are you worried if you aren’t ‘vigilant’ against the unwanted in your life, and you start focusing in a predominantly positive way, it will make it more likely to happen?

When examining what is happening behind the scenes, be sure to do so with complete honesty and without judgment. Don’t dismiss anything because it seems too obvious or cliche, or because intellectually you might understand it doesn’t make sense. Most of our beliefs don’t. If something is coming up, it’s relevant.

You Might Need to Baby Step It

Now, there are some people who respond well to the ‘go big or go home’ style of change. They can make those big leaps successfully without really backsliding at all. If you are one of those people, and it feels GOOD to operate this way, and it isn’t just sheer ‘willpower’, awesome. This probably won’t apply.

But most people aren’t like that, and if so, what follows will hopefully help you on the path.

We need to move more gradually towards these more desired ways of being. We have to work through some of the ‘muck’ that manifests itself as all manner of self-sabotage, that makes these changes seem so difficult.

When we attempt to go from one extreme to the other, we may have some success initially but it gets hard to maintain because energetically we aren’t quite in alignment with these ways of operating. There is a part of us that doesn’t want to make these changes, that may have a negative association with them.

And rather than tweak our approach, we tend to just quit, beating ourselves up, feeling dejected, convinced we just don’t have what it takes.

Or, like I mentioned earlier, you are one of those people with really strong willpower and you can force it for the long-haul, feeling miserable all the while.

When you baby-step it, you allow yourself to make the energetic shifts that will allow you to keep moving forward. You work through the issues that led to the not-so-desirable habits to form, and when you do that, the positive changes feel more natural; you want to make them, you aren’t forcing them, trying to ‘displace’ the ‘negative’ ones.

You build on the momentum of progress, it feels good and you want to keep going, maybe pushing yourself a bit more each time.

Rather than going from never meditating a day in your life, to 60 minutes in full lotus position, you start off with five or 10 minutes. That starts to feel more comfortable and you increase it a bit more each week.

Rather than going from eating fast food every day to a raw food vegan in one fell swoop, you commit to cooking dinner at home at least three nights a week; you start bringing lunch to work rather than going out. As you get used to your healthy way of eating and seeing how much better you feel, you continue making changes and you actually look forward to your healthy meals.

Don’t feel pressure to make these quantum leaps in your habits, and how you are living your life, again, unless that works for you, and it feels good.

As you make the energetic shifts, the change gets easier. You will manifest all sorts of things to help you along the path, to support making these positive transformations..

Remember You’re Playing the Long Game

I know that most of us are probably looking for some sort of immediate result in our life as a result of our personal development ‘work.’ We want to manifest that money or boyfriend tomorrow. We want to lose that weight as quickly as possible. We want to get ‘happy’ right this second and stay that way every second from this moment on.

We often go into this journey with a great deal of resistance to our current circumstances and this desire for immediate results and drastic change is understandable;but it can work against us in many ways. We lose sight of what we are really after, what we really want. We unnecessarily beat ourselves up.

We don’t manifest our dream life by the weekend, and we conclude the law of attraction doesn’t ‘work.’ We have felt good for a whole two days, and nothing mind-blowing has managed to show up, so what’s the point of continuing to feel good?

We are doing really good with our efforts to eat better, and we slip up a few days, beat ourselves up, and just go back to our binge-eating, thinking we are just going to fail anyway.

We have a busy week at work, and our burgeoning exercise routine takes a hit. And rather than get back on track, we just give up, and go back to our sedentary ways.

We are starting to get into our groove with meditation, but have been feeling really anxious lately, and a lot of resistance to sitting the past week. And instead of going back to it, we stop altogether.

Remember we are playing the ‘long game’ here. Keep in mind what you really want at the end of the day–to feel better physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

It goes way beyond the weight loss, the money, the relationship, the body, or whatever other specific manifestation you may have in your sights.

If something doesn’t work out, shake it off. There are plenty more fish in the sea, potential clients, jobs, income sources and opportunities. You won’t run out of chances. There aren’t limited opportunities, and if you don’t get it energetically right by time the first three present themselves, you’re done. Do your best to remain detached.

If you are trying to develop a habit you think will benefit you, you might have a lot of stops and starts. It’s fine.

If you started meditating at one point, and haven’t in a few months, just start again. Maybe you’ll lapse again in a few weeks, a couple of months will pass, and you’ll get the urge again. Just start back up.

You might bounce back between periods of taking really good care of yourself physically, and letting it fall by the wayside because you are stressed, busy or whatever else. Anytime you feel the urge to give it another go, do it.

Don’t project too far into the future when making these changes. Just take it one choice at a time and keep building on the momentum.  And when you fall off the horse, just get back on.

So that’s that.

Your Turn

What did you think? Anything resonate in particular? Any advice for developing more positive habits and making positive change? Looking forward to your thoughts as always.

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FYI: Heal Your Mind Heal Your Body class series started June 3rd but registration is still open at this time. You will receive access to previous recordings. You can register here.