Law of Attraction: Should We Not Have Expectations?

So does the law of attraction say we should not have expectations?

Great question, and I have touched on a few things that I think will make a good case for releasing them.

Two Kinds of Expectations

When it comes to conscious creation, I see two different kinds of expectations. One is very helpful and the other not-so much.

The not-so-helpful one comes in the form of attachment to specific outcomes, insisting our mind’s translation of a particular desired energy and feeling is THE best one, and only acceptable one, getting all upset when things don’t turn out the way our mind wants them to, and insisting something must have gone wrong.

It comes in the form of the very unhelpful misconception that the law of attraction is some sort of ‘tool’ you can use to manipulate reality, and make things happen just as your mind wants them, a mind that is usually formulating wants from a very screwy, limited, view.

This sort of expectation is natural, totally understandable, and something we will probably never stop doing completely. Your mind will encounter a situation, and formulate some sort of expectation, that is just how it works.

It will want a certain outcome; it will be resistant to others. It will hope certain things happen or don’t happen. It will think certain things must happen in order to get what we want ,and if those things don’t happen, we’re screwed.

We have such a deep fear we won’t get what we want, we latch on desperately to any situation or PERSON that seems to fit the bill, since this might be our only shot, and what if nothing better comes along? Oh God…terrible thought.  

The real goal here is to detach from all that, not so much try to make your mind stop doing this. I guess it is possible, but making peace with my mind’s machinations seemed to work much better for me than trying to stop it from doing what it is designed to do.

The ‘good’ kind of expectation is of a more general nature. You make the wonderful realization your world is created based on your energy, and so long as your energy game is ‘tight’ in the form of thoughts, feelings and beliefs that serve you, that recognize your true nature, and the massive support system available to you, you rightfully ‘expect’ things in your life to get better, to improve.

You rightfully ‘expect’ solutions to the problems in your life now will reveal themselves, even if you haven’t got a clue in hell what they are in this moment. You rightfully ‘expect’ things to go your way more of the time. You rightfully ‘expect’ this conscious engagement with your energy and focus will allow you to get more ‘wanted’ and less ‘unwanted’ in your experience.

This sort of expectation is absolutely necessary to the process. Working on your energy is working on the level of ‘cause’ and if that aspect of your being is changing, your reality must change too. It has no choice.

How it changes, what manifests, what the path and journey will look like…this is not something we can know. The more open we are, the more easily we can remain in flow. Which brings me to my next point…

Detachment Will Never Be Painful

Being okay with whatever happens. Knowing if something doesn’t work out, another opportunity will present itself. Knowing no one manifestation is necessary for my happiness.

Knowing whatever I am wanting specifically is just one representation of a feeling, and I am open to that energy showing up in whatever way truly represents my highest good.

That sucks and is so, so painful. Detachment feels so terrible. Having total trust in the Universe is so frustrating.

 SAID. NO. PERSON. EVER.

I know sometimes I might sound like a giant killjoy when I advocate for detachment and being open to the idea what or WHO you want now may not be the best representation of what you really want.

But in my own life, I have seen the tremendous energetic benefit detachment brings; I have seen firsthand how it is a boon to your manifesting game.

I have gotten countless emails from people asking me how to manifest their ex back, many of them listing out all the ‘signs’ from the Universe that they believe show they are meant to be. I almost always give the same response, and I rarely get an email back thanking me for my insight–probably because they didn’t like my answer very much.

I get it. I am a fellow human too.

You want certain things. It’s fine. Your mind only knows what’s right in front of its face and what is has already experienced. You feel drawn towards certain experiences and people. You think that particular job would be really cool.

Maybe the specific people, things and experiences are a great representation of what you want, and they will manifest. Maybe you will get back with your ex and have a great relationship this time around. Maybe that job is the one you will get, and you will work there the rest of your life, being totally fulfilled for the rest of your professional days.

But to know that the thing your mind wants is THE best representation with 100 percent certainty is LITERALLY impossible because your mind cannot know all the representations of that core energy, it can’t know all the possibilities.

Your mind does not know all the other men or women out there who could be a good match for you. It doesn’t know all the jobs out there that are currently available, or the ones being formulated at this moment by your dream company. It doesn’t know of the people you haven’t met yet that will play an integral role in your path, or the solution to a problem you are facing.

To at least be willing concede this to even the slightest degree, even if you are still kind of attached to certain outcomes, people and experiences, is huge from an energetic perspective. It creates an opening in the wall we create when we attach to specifics, and that small opening is all that is needed.

When we are attached, rife with expectations that go unmet, fueled by fear something better may not come along, this is almost certainly going to be painful. To be attached, and to feel better in any meaningful way (like actually feeling better and not just feeling good because that is what you are supposed to do) in the present moment, is basically impossible.

If you want to insist your mind knows best what you want, and you are going to ‘use’ the law of attraction to get it, by all means. Just be willing to accept this might be a more painful road, that you may be closing yourself off to something better.

Detachment is never going to cause this same pain, anxiety, frustration and desperation. Detachment allows you to plug into infinite possibility much more seamlessly. Detachment allows you to feel better right in this immediate moment. I don’t know about you, but all that sounds pretty good to me.

Nothing Ever Goes ‘Wrong’

Our mind is not very good at seeing the wonderful lessons and blessings in the situations it has deemed ‘bad.’ When things don’t turn out how it expected, naturally something must have gone wrong.

And us conscious creators can be particularly sensitive to these unmet expectations because we tend to get very attached to our desires once we get our hands on a teaching like the law of attraction, and are waiting with bated breath for them to come to fruition.

Again, we tend to put a death grip on anything that floats into our reality that has the veneer of what we want. And if it doesn’t work out, we can easily go into an emotional tailspin, lamenting we will never get what we want, throwing a temper tantrum, wondering why the Universe hates us so.

But it is so important to remember that just because your mind didn’t get what it wanted, just because things didn’t turn out the way it thought they would, NOTHING has gone ‘wrong.’ The Universe doesn’t hate you. You are not unworthy or undeserving.

Everything that happens to us is just vibrational feedback, and NOTHING more.

We are not being ‘rewarded’ with ‘good’ manifestations for our ‘positive’ thoughts. We are not being ‘punished’ with ‘bad’ manifestations for our ‘negative’ ones.

The Universe isn’t trying to teach us any ‘lessons.’ It is not making any sort of ‘judgments’ about what you want, and delivering what it thinks is ‘best’ in lieu of what you want.

Anything that shows up in your reality is because it was a match to SOMETHING in your vibration; it represents SOMETHING. It is important to keep in mind it might not mean the SOMETHING YOUR MIND WANTS it to mean.

Keeping this little nugget in your awareness can save you a whole heap of suffering–you can’t even imagine.

So maybe the guy you met isn’t meant to be THE guy. Maybe he is there to help you get further clarity on your ideal match or relationship. Maybe he is there to show you a limiting belief or perspective not serving you in regards to relationships, such as a willingness to settle. He’s not meant to stick around, and once he shows you what he came to show you, the relationship ends somehow.

Maybe the great job opportunity that just presented itself turned out to have not-so-great aspects, and it was there to show you that you are not quite aligned with your ideal job or to give you further clarity on what that might be.

Maybe you manifested an experience that seemed perfect and was the exact thing your mind was wanting, but it turns out to be a bust. Sometimes manifesting exactly what our mind wants is the only way to TRULY see it isn’t what we actually want.

I know this idea of seeing the ‘lesson’ or ‘benefit’ in the unwanted can be super-annoying. We don’t want to deal with that nonsense. We just want to get everything we want right out the gate without these bullshit manifestations slowing things down.

I get it, I do. I’m all for just having the good stuff happen too. But we all have kinks in our energy, beliefs of which we are not fully aware, unexplored feelings that can’t remain that way if we really want to manifest at our ‘peak’ capacity.

If something happens that helps us see something that is good for us to see, to label it a ‘bad’ thing, to think something went ‘wrong’ actually doesn’t make much sense, even if we had a negative emotional reaction to it.

We get to choose how to respond to the situations that show up in our life. We get to choose if we will adopt this more empowering perspective on these experiences, or sulk and pout because we didn’t like it. You still get to feel the disappointment, frustration and all that other good stuff without a doubt. But we just don’t want to linger there longer than necessary.

Again, if your energy is changing, you can wholeheartedly expect your reality to follow suit. Just do your best to not get too caught up in your mind’s expectations about how this process will look, or about any individual situation that comes up. No matter what happens, it’s all good. Truly.

Your Turn

What did you think of the post? Anything resonate in particular? How are you with releasing expectations?

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