Today I’ll be addressing some law of attraction questions I received from one of my awesome readers. Getting a lot of good stuff lately that makes for really good blog post topics, so thanks for that.
I have a question regarding law of attraction. I have witnessed some positive outcomes by practicing LOA. But because of the realization of the power of the mind and its ability to attract and create I’m a bit afraid of my own mind.
I have been afraid that I will lose all the people I love, or people I care about will die. This is very horrible but can’t help it. These scary thoughts popping in my head constantly. Knowing that I will attract what I fear by constantly feeling and thinking those fearful thoughts makes me even more scared. I’m sorry if i sound stupid–you don’t— but please help me understand Kelli. Will I attract all these fearful things/situations to my life.?I’m having a great amount of anxiety because of this.
We Are Really Powerful and That Can Scare the Crap Out of Us
Discovering who we really are, and that we are imbued with the same creative force that created everything in the Universe is pretty freaking awesome. But it can also be really freaking scary, am I right?
We are so used to feeling powerless. We are used to not getting what we want. We are used to relegating our deepest desires to the realm of fantasy.
We are used to contending with all the pain, regret, frustration, resentment, hopelessness and other ick that comes with not living an authentic life and doing what we think we ‘should’ do, because we figure that is just how life is.
We are so used to pointing to/blaming things outside of ourselves for out lot,and why we can’t have the life we want, such as our government, crappy childhood, gender, sexual orientation, ethnicity, spouses, financial situation, the country in which we were born…the list could go on and on.
It feels really badly to think we don’t have much of a say in how our life turns out, but it is a line of thinking to which we have become quite accustomed.
We think that is just how it is, and sometimes maybe we’ll get some scraps of the good stuff here and there. We look at people who have all the stuff we want, and we come up with all sorts of reasons they are able to have these things, from having rich parents to just being ‘lucky,’ and why it just isn’t possible for us.
We live small, and feel generally okay about it because we figure we probably couldn’t get what we want anyway; we get to stay in our comfort zones no matter how unpleasant,and avoid all the ‘stuff’ that would inevitably arise if we allowed ourselves to make the changes we want to make deep down.
We look at the variety of shitty stuff happening in various areas of the world, and conclude all this ‘living to your greatest potential’ shit is just indulgent,and an opportunity only available to a select few, and it lets us off the hook.
This is just your mind playing games in an attempt to keep things just as they are. Not letting our light shine its brightest is in no way serving anyone, or any positive purpose. You’re not doing anyone any favors by taking a stand against living your best life because you believe this is not an option available to everyone. It’s not like passing up that opportunity is somehow going to transfer it to someone else more ‘in need’ of it.
When you start to realize you actually do have this power to shape your experience, all of this crap comes tumbling down, and as welcome as that turn of events may be on some level, it can also be kind of terrifying.
Because this isn’t just about developing some new beliefs, this is about completely adopting a whole new way of moving through the world. The whole foundation on which you built your life has to be completely revamped. You are forging a whole new identity.
All bets are off as far as this limited way of thinking and living are concerned, and you actually get to have a say in your happiness, and how your life turns out. No more excuses; no more blaming;no more playing small; no more settling;no more doing shit you don’t want to do because you think there is no other choice; no more playing it safe
Totally awesome but totally unfamiliar; and anything unfamiliar is always scary, no matter how ‘good’ it may seem, no matter how much we want it.
This really wasn’t the type of fear the question was addressing, but it is definitely related, and it is really important to address, so I did.
Now in order to quell his fears, it is important to understand…
The True Nature of Your Power
One of the reasons people struggle so much with manifesting is because there can be a bit of misunderstanding as far as the nature of this reality-creating power. Our mind takes this to mean that we can exert total control over our outer reality, and create things just to our liking.
Our mind likes that, because our mind likes to control; it gets very attached to specific manifestations, and insists that they are exactly what must show up in order to make us happy.
But here’s the thing…your power does not lie in shaping your outer reality, it lies in managing your vibration, and in doing that, you can ensure you manifest things that reflect that energy back to you, in a variety of forms.
Will you sometimes manifest exact things you visualized or sense would happen? Absolutely.
And that is because that thing happened to be the perfect representation of your desire. Your intuition was cluing you into something that was in the process of manifesting, and then it actually happened in your physical reality.
If you’re emanating love, you’ll attract all sorts of things that make you feel loved; if you’re emanating abundance, you’ll attract all sorts of things that make you feel abundant, like money.
But,you can’t make a specific person be the one who gives you that love; you can’t make your boss pick you for the promotion that will get you that abundance.
The reader mentioned a worry about making people die…you can’t manifest in someone else’s reality. And that holds true even in instances where someone else had a hand in a person’s death—that person was making his transition and it happened to manifest in that way for reasons that an ‘outsider’ can’t really discern; but that’s getting into ‘shit we’ll never fully understand with our minds’ territory, and off topic.
If you are lusting after someone who already has a boyfriend, the Universe isn’t going to come in and off him so you can get the girl.
If you are wishing someone would die—which I imagine isn’t something anyone interested in any sort of personal growth topic is doing—again, no dice.
If you happen to have bad feelings towards someone you are not putting her in danger. The Universe won’t arrange for her demise in order to make you feel better, and remove a potential block to your happiness.
If you are in competition with someone else for a job or whatever else, your wanting whatever you want isn’t going to make something ‘bad’ happen to someone else so it is ensured you get it, and he doesn’t.
If you have a great fear of being abandoned, you are not setting up the people you love to meet their demise, as a way of that fear being mirrored back to you.
So the bottom line is, don’t worry about your ‘power’ negatively impacting people. Other people aren’t going to have to ‘lose’ for you to ‘gain.’ That belief comes from the old world thinking that is rooted in beliefs such as scarcity, life is ‘unfair’, and all that jazz.
Will I Attract All The Things About Which I Feel Fearful?
Realizing the power or our mind, it is typical for those of us studying a concept like the law of attraction to start becoming hyper aware of all our thoughts. We obsess and worry that every negative thought will now come to fruition somehow.
That we attract what we think about isn’t a wholly accurate way to describe how the law of attraction works. Our thoughts are certainly indicative of our energy, beliefs we hold,etc…but as for all the thoughts we have manifesting exactly as they are, that really isn’t true.
So, if you worry about your boyfriend cheating on you all the time, that doesn’t necessarily mean you are going to manifest cheating.
There is a more ‘general’ energy/belief that is being translated into this particular fearful situation; this more general fear could be being betrayed by someone or that you can’t trust people, and if there is a lot of energy there, it could manifest in a different way, such as finding out your business partner was stealing from you, or a close friend breaking a confidence.
So no, worrying about something that doesn’t mean that exact thing is going to happen to you; but our predominant vibration will affect what shows up for us, and if that vibration is one that is full of thoughts, feelings and beliefs that contain fear, anxiety, feeling unsafe, being mistrustful of others, things always going wrong,etc…you’re going to attract a bunch of stuff that will trigger all those feelings, and obviously we’re probably not going to like it very much.
Don’t obsess about your negative thoughts–this just gives them more power. There is a good chance you have all sorts of beliefs and energies that support the ‘good’ stuff that you aren’t even consciously aware of, and that helps balance out the ‘bad’ vibrations. As you work on your energy consciously, you build more momentum behind that positive energy, and there is a lot of power there.
A random negative thought doesn’t indicate you actually believe this thing could happen to you–for example, you may worry about getting into a car accident in bad weather, which is an understandable thought; but your general experience with driving has been good, and you feel safe, and that one thought isn’t going to set you up for an accident.
But if you do have excessive fears about bad things manifesting for you, it is crucial you examine those fears and beliefs more closely, and do what you can to shift them.
Fear of Losing People
Does following the call to become a deliberate creator of your life experience mean that you will lose all the people you love? That you will ‘evolve’ past the people in your life? That other people won’t be able to keep up with you and they will get left behind? That relationships you have had all your life will transform significantly or end completely as you no longer have much in common or you realize certain people are not the type of people you want in your ‘new life?
I can’t give a definitive answer to that because it really depends on you and the type of people in your life. There is always that possibility, but don’t freak out about it. Just take these situations as they come, if they come at all, which they may not.
But it is something that may happen…can’t lie.
There is a good chance as you shift your energy, you may fall ‘out of touch’ with certain people vibrationally, at least temporarily.
This doesn’t always mean some big dramatic fall out, but often a gradual losing touch, or just not seeing each other as frequently—you’ll both seem to get ‘busier,’ plans to get together always seem to have some sort of kink and don’t work out,etc…
There is a chance that as you make your energy a priority, set some boundaries and what not, others may no longer get what they are used to getting from you, and that can stir shit up.
People don’t like when that happens, and there may be some conflict and/ or accusations of selfishness—I have always found that particularly amusing since they are mad that you doing what you want means they aren’t getting what they want.
As your vibration raises, you will attract other people who match it, who may also have a keener interest in personal growth or share your outlook on life, your particular hobbies and what not, and you will gravitate more towards them.
This doesn’t mean that anyone not on a similar path or with a different belief system will automatically fall out of your reality. I maintain relationships with all sorts of people who have no interest in this sort of thing, and it is just fine. Do some of these people think I am a bit weird? Most likely, but not my problem.
It isn’t like the law of attraction, and other matters of personal development, are the only things you’ll want to talk about every waking moment; you’re probably not going to devote every moment of free time to your personal growth, edging out every other interest and topic of conversation.
Again, a variety of issues with other people in your life, from them not understanding what you are trying to manifest for yourself to losing touch as you morph into someone who is very different from the person you were when the relationships started, are likely to pop up, but not always.
Don’t let this fear hold you back; don’t be afraid to be who you really are, or attempt to keep playing small, in order to ‘fit in,’ avoid upsetting people, make them not feel badly about their own choices, or to keep being able to ‘relate’ to them.
So, that’s that…hope you enjoyed it.
Your Turn
What did you think of the post? Any of these issues something you are grappling with? Anything resonate in particular? Any advice or thoughts you would add? Looking forward to your comments as always.
Also, for those of you in the market for manifesting a relationship, be sure to check out the new teleclass series I’ll be doing…you can check that out here.
AWESOME/WOW/Thank you so much – this was perfect!
And just to tack on an extra question, what about paranoia and conspiracy theories, with…ahem…certain upcoming political events… I feel surrounded/bombarded by people and information bringing up really scary stuff constantly. I have a feeling I am attracting it to myself because on some level I still hold fears/beliefs that match that…please how can I shift away from this?
Hey Summer
You are very welcome and I am glad you enjoyed it. You answered your own question perfectly…your own fears and what not are being mirrored back to you in the form of these conversations. In and of themselves the conversations are not problematic, but if they are making you feel a certain way, it is showing you something. One of the first places to put your focus is within…when you begin to work through those fears, you will find that people tend to bring up these topics less when they are around you. From a calmer space internally, you will find just the right thing to say to steer the conversation in a different direction when it does come up, and it goes smoothly. You may not avoid them completely but how you react to them will be completely different. And you always have the option to just tell people you don’t want to talk about it…you don’t have to say anything about vibration, the law of attraction,etc…you can just say you would rather talk about something else.
Unfortunately, I can relate with whoever asked this question. For the past couple of months, I have had anxiety about this topic as well. Losing the people I love through death or my boyfriend leaving me because I am such an emotional “mess” lately. I like to remember myself that this isn’t really something I am actively attracting right now, this is the result of years of being a fearful child that is all coming up to be released now. The root cause for my fear seems to be self esteem and worthiness issues, and I am trying to work on that. Sometimes I’m afraid nothing will work and I will have to live like this forever, but after these “episodes of fear” I alw remember that I am in control and that I will get there as long as I keep fighting. It is like Kelly says, as your vibration rises you will attract more like minded people, believe that raising your vibration will only benefit you. If there’s anyone with some more advice, please share, I’m always on the lookout for something that might easy the struggle 🙂
Hi Kirsten
Thank you for sharing your experience, and I think you are doing great. That you recognize you are just dealing with older energies that were formed at some point in the past is great, and will keep you in more of an observation mode than worrying it is creating stuff you don’t like in the present moment. This way of thinking is very different and the process is often gradual…that doesn’t mean things can’t start changing quickly because they can, we just have to be vigilant about monitoring how we are feeling and thinking, but not in an obsessive way. Our mind means well, but just remember it doesn’t understand this stuff.
Hi Kelli,
You did an excellent job addressing your reader fears.
We all face difficult times but many are made up from within.
I like when you said our whole foundation have to be completely revamped.
The more I’m getting in touch with my true self, the more I’m realizing how distorted my thinking is. One way we can show the reality of our positive energy to others is to be grateful no matter what we are going through. I can relate to your reader concerns and hope this helped them as much as it helped me.
Vernon
Hi Vernon
Thank you…I am so glad you liked the post. You are right that as we get deeper, we discover more and more of our thought processes and how they have impacted their life. I still uncover things all the time…it something that we are never really done with. I like what you said about gratitude…it can be a game changer because not only will it help attract more things to be grateful for, we can actually start feeling better NOW, no matter what is happening, and feeling better is all we want anyway, so why wait?
I think the fear comes from some LOA teachers (not you) stating that you do attract “bad” things to you like accidents sickness etc because of your subconscious belief systems.
I know if you focus hate on another then you attract hate on too yourself, This is the reason why you need to have self love for yourself above everything else.
Thank you for making this clear for everybody. Have a great day.
Hi Steven
Thanks for your comment and I am glad you liked the post. I love what you said about the ‘self-love’ It is such a powerful energy that can make things fall into place so much more easily. Not only does it create an energy of worthiness and deserving, which is crucial to manifesting, it makes it so much easier to make positive changes in our life that will support a higher vibration, like getting out of a bad relationship or taking better care of our body.
Hi Kelli. I have experienced a lot of what you are talking about here. I have very little contact with most of the people (outside of my own family) that I knew before I started learning about the Law of Attraction. No explosive parting of ways or anything like that, just drifted apart. The people I do talk to from time to time reach out because they want to talk to someone positive, which is nice. I have also had a nagging, fearful thought that I can’t seem to get rid of. It’s health-related so I have been dealing with it by using it as motivation to get more exercise and get in better shape. You can use a negative as incentive to build the positive.
Hi Ben
Thanks for your comment. It is great that people see you as that sort of resource, which means you have inspired them in some way, and as their vibe raises, it is possible those relationships could be rekindled, if that is what you wanted. I totally agree about using those situations as an incentive and the health issue is a perfect example of that.
What we fear is actually, mostly, what we have kept on manifesting from within our subconscious convictions that we carry outside of our awareness. So we might have a conviction saying “Everybody always … me” in our subconscious, then we will have a history of having had that experience, which we perceive as unpleasant. Fear is simply the expectation of us re-attracting more of same. So when you have fear of loss, that means you have attracted various losses throughout your life, and you are always anticipating that a new experience of the same is imminent.
The reason for the fact our biggest fears rarely come to pass is simply that the part of us we call higher Self or consciousness is overseeing our experiences while we are in this limitation. Otherwise, we would in a fully “unawakened” state constantly be attracting unpleasant experiences, and that is far from the point of our learning journey.
The more you transform and shift, the faster and more immediate will be your results of what you put out into the world in terms of feelings and spoken words. The way I see it, we will only achieve our full manifestation ability once all of our adverse convictions and expectations are rooted out, and before that, there is a co-creative process in place that allows us to evolve.
Claudia, Thank you so much For this response. It really helped me. It is my fear of loss! Thank you. I have Done so much growth and this fear is In deepest recesses of my subconscious. It is just my brain think inking pattern. Thank you Kelli for writing about this question!
Hi Kelli,
I have a question regarding a part you wrote: “If you are lusting after someone who already has a boyfriend, the Universe isn’t going to come in and off him so you can get the girl”.
– Can’t we still attract/manifest that specific person even if they are in a relationship? I mean, if our reasoning for wanting that person and that relationship is pure and we use LoA to manifest a relationship with a specific person, then the Universe will help our desire come to fruition. Correct? We can attract a specific person regardless of their current circumstances?
Kind regards,
John
Hi John
There are infinite reasons you can be a vibrational match to a person and get involved with them romantically–whether or not they are a good match for you and the best representation of your TRUE desire, which is the relationship and the feelings you think it will bring you– is another story. But as far as ‘using’ the LOA to attract a specific person, that is not something we can do as we can’t make other people do anything. By wanting someone specific and focusing your efforts on that, you are trying to control the HOW of your manifestation. Maybe this person is a good match or maybe there is someone better, the key is being open to who this person is. And again, even if you manifest a relationship, it can be to teach/show you countless things and may not be ‘the one.’ Again just be open…no matter how much our mind fixates on a particular person/experience, to say with certainty it is THE best representation of what we want is not something we can do because our mind cannot understand infinite possibility or things it hasn’t already experienced.
What about if you don’t just put the intention out for the specific person but you give your number, or find them on social media etc. Wouldn’t that be a way of finding out if that person is who you want? So it brings you closer to your manifestation?
I found this article searching “fear of manifesting fears” and I’m glad I read it. My situation is, I just went through a break up. Tons of lies wre exposed. Even though we are no longer together I find my mind still working on putting the pieces together. The dishonesty left alot of loose ends and it’s like I am still working on the puzzle. During the day I am better at letting it go and managing my thought but when the night comes…or upon awakening…my defenses seem to be low and the pain comes on along with all the questions.
I am new to this way of think (loa) and ever since I heard of it I have been nervous about my belief system and what horrible things I will manifest. I have certainly questioned how much I had a hand in this relationship stuff. ALL my fears came true 🙁
I am coming to a place of letting it all go and forgiving but…it comes in waves. I think I am done and then it pops up again.
Now I am afraid of even trying to have a partner ever again. I just don’t want to risk suffering like this again.
I know I need to change my vibration or I will always come from such a fearful dependent place and surely attract some real winners.
Hi Jane
Your fear of your fears and negative thinking is common when people start considering a teaching like this more carefully. The thoughts themselves aren’t the issue–the emotional investment in them will give them the real power so when they come you can acknowledge them but work on removing that ‘charge’ and they will pass more quickly. It is also important not to put pressure on yourself to make huge energetic shifts so quickly–little by little can make a difference. Right now, trying to manifest a new relationship or even worrying about that isn’t something to think too much about–process this stuff. And swings in mood and emotion is totally normal. Don’t expect to totally get rid of the ‘negative’ feelings. The fact you are even thinking this way and approaching your healing from this perspective is huge and just be patient with yourself.
Hello Jane, my current story sounds the same as yours .. 😞. Tell me you recovered as I need to know that I will too x
Hi Marianne
Whatever happened with Jane has no bearing on what will happen with you, no matter how similar your situations. Everything in life is just neutral vibrational feedback and whatever stories your mind is telling you about your circumstances that make you feel you can’t move past it or that you can’t get the relationship or whatever simply aren’t true. The onus is on you though to believe this to be the case. We can’t benefit from belief systems we don’t attempt to truly make our own. Your pain will only persist as long as you let your mind keep convincing you to hold onto it and/or not deal with it. Good luck!
Same for me, Marianne. My therapist doesn’t even know how to help. If I knew practicing something like the LOA would lead to this, I never, ever would have studied it. It helped me 8 yrs ago, but all this positivity stuff has not brought me peace.
This is the first site I’ve come across seeing other people struggling with negative thoughts, feelings, & words!!!!
What do we do? :'(
Hi, I know this is an old post but it’s seriously one I have been needing to read. My dad died in a car accident and one year ago I was involved in one which wasn’t that big to be honest. Somehow I became obsessed thinking I’m not safe or somehow someone will crash into me! I have become obsessed because I knew about the law of attraction and somehow my fear made me much more scared because I felt I was attracting a big accident by being so afraid! I’ve been scared I’m going to die or one of my children could get seriously hurt while I’m driving. So I didn’t know how to handle those thoughts that I feel for the past year I’ve been scared that every day is the day I finally attracted a big accident. I don’t know what to do! Am I actually attracting an accident? Can I change it? Will I ever be able to drive without fear, again? I need help because I feel like my fear has become an obsession and after a whole year of being and thinking afraid of the same thing it feels as if I’ll never be able to let go of the fear.
Hi Daisy
The first thing you want to do is realize the specific fears you have are just ‘representations’ of a more ‘general’ fear. This broader fear and energy is being translated by your mind into a fear of driving specifically. The accident with your father was a major contributor most likely. You mentioned not feeling safe and that is probably one of those more general fears. Yes, there is a chance all this specific focus on a car accident could make you more likely to experience one, but what also may happen is you will attract other situations that will make you feel this similar sort of fear and mirror back not feeling safe,etc… When we want to change our energy around situations that we experience daily or frequently, it is important to do most of the ‘work’ when we are not in the situation that we are finding problematic but at other times when we don’t have to contend with the acute feelings that come up when we are actually in the experience.
I’m so glad I found this blog, I know it was written over a year ago but I hope you see this comment. Over Christmas I was watching a tv show about someone’s death, and for some reason I imagined in my head someone I love dearly dying, in a specific year. It completely freaked me out, I was and am terrified I have manifested this. I’m now scared of it, but keep thinking about it from time to time, particularly when I’m anxious, which I’m thinking is making it more likely to manifest. I wish I could just pretend I never thought it, it wasn’t a dream or anything, literally just a very dark thought that popped in to my head. The fact I thought of a specific year is torturing me 🙁
Hi Catherine
It is understandable to fear the death of people we care about and it certainly isn’t a pleasant thing to think about. But like I mentioned in my post, we can’t create in each other’s realities. You thinking about someone dying can’t make them die. It sounds like there are deeper anxieties at play–given the use of a word like ‘torturing’– and one of the ways it is manifesting is by thinking about this situation. Explore that more deeply and you will find that you probably won’t think about it as much.
I have been go through this confusing thing that makes my fears almost instaneously manifest sometimes. I am a very anxious person, almost always fearing others to harm me or unwillingly expecting things to go wrong.
I have talked with psychic people and healers who advice me to relax and think positive in order to attract the good things i want.
The confusing part is , that fears/negative things happen without me paying too much attention to it. Sometimes it’s like and invasive fear based thought that happens soon.
The saddest part is that the oposite happens with the positive and good things i want. I try to focus in the positive and direct all my wish towards it in order to attract it, but this almost never works.
It´s frustrating.
Hi Judy
Based on what you are telling me, it sounds like the ‘negative’ manifestations are much more frequent because the energy that lends themselves to these sorts of experiences is very dominant. You said yourself you are very anxious, expect things to go wrong and think people are out to hurt you. Doesn’t seem to be a big mystery here 😉
In my experience, anxiety is a kind of a ‘surface’ emotion that is actually a mix of more specific feelings, namely fear. The energy that lends to more ‘positive’ manifestations just doesn’t have enough momentum. It is important to remember we attract based on our energy and not our exact thoughts. This works for both wanted and unwanted manifestations so thing can happen that mirror back your energy and you may not have necessarily thought about these things specifically. It sounds like you are trying to ‘force’ positive emotion and that you aren’t dealing with what is right in front of you. Given how strong all that seems to be, this is the most important thing you have to do.
Hi! I have experienced robbery a year ago and to this day it still haunts me, I feel like people are there to hurt me . I sometimes get nightmares about it, how do i get over this anxiety, feels like it’s taking control of my life?
I sometimes get scared to go outside because I’m scared someone is there to hurt me.
Hi Julie
Experiences like that can really get to us. Without speaking with you, I can only give some general insight. In order to move past it, it is important you explore more deeply why it bothers you. All the experiences in our lives essentially don’t have any objective meaning, and we are the ones who apply one with our mind. What meaning is being applied to the robbery? What does it represent to you? This will help you uncover the different fears and beliefs that are being mirrored back by the situation. If you wanted to explore this more deeply from an energetic perspective, I would be happy to speak with you in a session if that resonates. If this is something that is really bothering you, speaking to someone in some capacity may be helpful.
Hi Kelli. I am so grateful for finding this blog. I know this is older post but i hope you see it. I have problem with unwanted thoughts. Over the past month I had (UNWANTED) thoughts that were focused on wishing bad things happen to other people such as serious illness, eating something rotten….etc. Most of the thoughts were supported with negative energy. Because I currently have very stressful semester at school, I overflow with negative energy. I immidiately tried to “fix” problem wishing good things to people again supported with positive vibes but I couldn’t fix it everytime. Similar thing of unwanted thoughts happened to me 2 years ago when I was “wishing” flu on others and later I got flu. I am very scared that those negative thoughts are gonna backfire and totally mess me up. I DON’T mean to hurt anyone, I just can’t control these thoughts.
Can I stop those thoughts from backfiring ?
Could you please help me ?
Hi Athony
Without speaking with you personally I can only give very general advice. The first thing is…don’t try to force yourself to think positive thoughts about people–fighting against our current energy and ‘forcing’ ourselves to change it has very limited effectiveness and will just amplify the ‘negative.’ The second thing is thinking more carefully about why you think these things about people–why do you want them to get sick or injured in some way, or have other bad things happen to them? Do you have a lot of anger? Are you jealous of that particular person in any way? Getting at this root energy will help you start transforming it. Don’t beat yourself up too much and while this energy is dominant, you may attract things to mirror it back, but it is just feedback not any sort of punishment for having thoughts that are negative or ‘mean.’
Thank you so much Kelli for replying. I took time off and I tried to figure it out. I am sort of alright , although, I need to work on few things.
Was reading through and got curious. What exactly do you mean by feedback?
Hi Kelli Madam,
I am really very grateful that i came over this blog, i was really searching like this since very long time, i really very thankful to you for such a great post.
I was actually suffering a lot with my bad/negative thoughts about others. I used to get very negative thoughts about my girlfriend whom i really love a lot and i am going to marry her, i used get thoughts like will she reach home safely, i used to get worried a lot thinking about not any kind of mishappening should happen with her she should reach home safe, i used to feel like i am throwing really very bad vibes her way which could really affect her life, those thoughts were so negative that i am even feeling scared to type them here, so hope you understand what i want to say.
For just a 1-2-1 confirmation from you i again would like to ask that does our way of thinking bad/negative thoughts about others affect their life? Will it affect her life if i get very bad and negative thoughts about her?
Please also tell me how can i control those bad/negative thoughts that come to my mind about others.
Thank you.
Hi Kapil
No, your worrisome thoughts about her will not endanger her life. You can’t really ‘control’ your thoughts. The key is reacting to them differently. That gives them less energy and they don’t feel as bothersome. It sounds like you have a lot of anxiety and it might be helpful to seek out someone you can speak with about this.
Hi can you please help me. I suffer with anxiety and OCD, I have a lot of scary thoughts about my health and dying, and knowing about the law of attraction made the thoughts even more obsessive as it made me think that i have attracted a terminal illness to myself. These thoughts have been in my mind almost 24/7 for the past 3 months, as Ive put so much negative energy into these thoughts, does this mean that they will manifest? Im really worried and scared
Hi Cari
Without speaking with you, I can only give really general advice. You are welcome to book a session where we can speak one on one for some more personalized insight. Here are a couple of things I would say though right now:
1. All this focus on illness could possibly lead to manifesting one but there are ‘broader’ and more ‘general’ fears at the root and are being translated as fear of sickness specifically. Those energies can manifest in many ways, and something could happen that might make you have a similar emotional response as if it were an illness. So you want to think about the root of these fears–what about getting sick makes you scared? What does illness represent to you?
2 In the beginning,trying to shift the thoughts when you are right in the middle of them probably won’t work very well because the energy is strong so you want to work on overall ‘vibe’ management in whatever means feels good to you, whether deep breathing, walking in nature, exercise. This will help your energy become more ‘stable’ and in that more stable energy you are less likely to manifest those sorts of thoughts.
Also, you might find it helpful to speak with a therapist who specializes in OCD–he or she would be able to give you coping strategies specific to this problem.
Thank you so much for replying . Does this mean if I am able to shift the thoughts and to stop believing the thoughts, it will cancel the possibility of the unwanted manifestation?
Hello Cari,
I am currently going through the same exact experience, from the fear of illness to the OCD. I was wondering if you found an answer to your question, as I’ve been searching for one. Thank you for your time and I hope you are well 🙂
Hello Kelli,
You have done an awesome job of explaining the effects of negative thoughts. I loved the idea that it’s not the actual thought but the energy you assign to it is what matters. Many times I assign a lot of energy to negative thoughts .. like for e.g. missing a couple of days of pay has me living straight under a bridge:-)
I have recently started following the law of attraction. Prior to today I must say I have been a very negative person. In all fairness not many untowardly negative things have happened to me.
My question is do my previous negative thoughts in which I have been very significantly attached affect my future here on assuming I am able to develop a positive happy outlook towards life?
Thank you so much for all the wonderful replies and your original post.
Hi, I hope you see this comment. I had extremely fearful thoughts for a long time, I was so anxious I focused on them so much for months and put a lot of negative momentum into them, but recently I stopped believing the fearful thoughts. But I’m worried about how much negative energy that I put into those thoughts, I used to believe them but I don’t believe them anymore. I’m just so worried about the negative momentum. I’ve been getting so much anxiety about this. Can fearful thoughts stil affect the future even though I stopped believing them?
Hi Arians
I understand your fear. The only thing we can truly control is our energy and by being more conscious of your beliefs and focus you are doing the best thing you can to improve your life. There is no way to 100 percent guarantee that certain things happen or don’t happen. The anxiety about the thoughts will actually carry more energy than the thoughts themselves if you are this resistant to them. So do your best to just relax and keep moving forward keeping as you have been.
I love your blogs and podcasts, Kelli. I read and listen to them all the time. I have literally just stumbled on this one while researching some info on this exact topic.
I feel my negative thoughts and fear are stopping my husband from getting his job. He has been offered work verbally and I keep focusing on it falling through and him not hearing back….I don’t know how to change this. I try and remind myself that I can’t change his reality but as this will impact both of us I thought there might be some cause from me….? Would love your thoughts? Catherine
Hi Catherine
Thanks so much…I am happy you find my content a helpful resource for you. You are not causing your husband’s job issues–we can’t create in each other’s realities. We can influence each other’s energy however, and that can be of help to someone else even if they aren’t conscious of this impact. The most important thing you will need to do is examine the specific fears and beliefs being triggered by his unemployment. I am sure money issues are at play but then seeing what is being manifest as fear around money. Only then can you inhabit a more stable energy around this situation. The situation is never the real issue, it is the stories, emotions and meanings behind it.
hi i hope you will see my comment, i really need help understanding something, i recently had many fears about dying, and knowing about law of attraction made it worse and i obsessively worried about it for a while. but the fear made me realize what i want, so i started focusing on positive thoughts that i will live a long life, and it helped me so much and i start to believe that i will live a long life. my fear isnt as bad as it used to be. but sometimes i get scared to completely stop thinking about my fear of dying because i have heard so many people say that when they stop thinking about something it manifests, and this is making me scared everytime i stop worrying about my fear i feel like i am letting go and i am scared that it will make it happen 🙁 i want to keep focusing on the positive thought that i will live a long life because it contradicts my fear, but i am also scared of letting go of the fear because of what i hear so many people say about letting go. please help me understand
Hi Camila
Without speaking to you personally, I can only give really general advice and insight. A fear of dying is a very deep fear to have, and it is likely a culmination of a very complex mix of other fears, etc…and you would need to explore that more deeply. On some level we all have that as we are aware of our own mortality, but it sounds like this is something that is very top of mind and all-consuming. It might be helpful to speak with a therapist who can give you some techniques to help deal with the thoughts when they arise and how to change your thought patterns. If you find my work helpful you might find a session of benefit but it is important to keep in mind that I can’t tell you ‘how’ to make these thoughts stop or ‘how’ to manifest a long life and ensure your fear doesn’t come true. My role would be helping you explore where the fears are coming from and how to shift that.
Hi Kelli, I just read your blog. It is just awesome!!!
I have a concern these days. Recently I was very happy about someone’s misery…really bad thing was happening to her and I was very happy….I was also wishing more bad things happen to her. Now I am feeling guilty that due to my thinking or wishing she will suffer and I am responsible for that. Or maybe I don’t know she has already suffered. Please tell me am I guilty for bad things happening to her. Am I responsible? It’s killing me.
Thank you
You did not make those bad things happen to her so you shouldn’t feel guilty. But if you dislike her to the extent you take that much pleasure in her misfortune and then want even more bad things to happen to her, that is definitely something to look at. Anytime we are having such a strong emotional response to a situation or person, it is a sign to dig a bit deeper. You can learn a lot about yourself, such as beliefs you have that may be keeping good things from you, how you view yourself, how you view the world,etc…
Thank you so much Kelli for your response!
Now I am releived that due to my thinking or wishing nothing bad will happen to her.
Thanks!
Hi Kelli, I hope you can help me. I am an avid traveler and in the past couple of years my job has enabled me to travel and work from anywhere in the world. I have always strongly desired the freedom of traveling but I owned 2 cats so I always had to limit how long I was away due to my responsibility to them. In the past year or so, I have been thinking more and more about the future when I will be free to travel, where I will go and what I will do, once my cats have passed away from old age. Then a few months ago I found out one of my cats had a rare brain tumor and he passed away a few weeks later. And then right after I lost him, I found out that my other cat had a different type of cancer and I lost her just 2 months later. I loved them so much and would give anything to have them back, and I am overwhelmed with guilt and fear that I unintentionally caused their cancer and premature death from my constant thoughts and desire to eventually be free of the responsibility so I could travel some more. And if I didn’t cause it, what if they decided to leave me sooner to give me this freedom (which is not want I wanted!) I miss them so much.
Hi Adele
No, your thoughts did not make your cats sick. I suspect that on some level, perhaps ‘big you’ knew your cats were sick and you were just thinking about it more because it was in the process of happening. I’m sorry to hear about your kitties…I love my cats so much too and I know what it is like to lose them.
Such a great post, thank you so much for this.
I am the mother of an almost 3 year old boy and I have this irrational fear that something terrible could happen to him. It is so bad that at times I think it is perhaps my subconscious preparing me for the worst or that my feelings are a premonition. He is a happy and healthy boy and I worry that I will attract something terrible by constantly thinking of it. I have a small baby daughter and never get these thoughts with her, hence why I worry it might be a premonition 🙈 Lots of love, Julia
Hi Julia
You are very welcome. Is it possible you are picking up on something that may happen? Sure, because any scenario we imagine is technically possible. But the MUCH more likely scenario is more ‘general’ or ‘broader’ fears are being channeled into this specific worry. If it is this strong, you may have to do some digging to see what energy is behind it so you can begin to find some relief and curb these thoughts. But we can’t create in each other’s realities so your fear and worry can’t ‘make’ anything happen to someone else. Also, anytime we are worrying about something that may happen in the future, working on grounding ourselves in the present moment will always be helpful.
I was wondering if there is any way to counterbalance or revert an intense emotionally fueled negative reaction , like screaming and panic and praying in desperation, thinking there is no way to save the situation, and stop the negative fear based thoughts from manifesting. I have been extreme fearful that changing my thoughts now wouldn’t help and it makes it even harder to let the fear go. It has been going in for a fee months now. Please, Can you give an advice?
Hi Alena
Without speaking with you I can only go very general with my advice. The first thing I would say is if you are trying to change situations that are ongoing, changing behaviors,etc…this is something that needs to be primarily worked on before these situations arise so you can build some momentum behind the energies that will lend themselves to you behaving and seeing things differently. For example, someone who gets very anxious in social situations wouldn’t want to just rely on some ‘technique’ or ‘strategy’ to deal with the anxiety in the moment…by then it will probably be too late. You seem to be very distressed about your situation and you may find it helpful to speak with a therapist or counselor with whom you can talk and can probably give you some specific coping strategies that would work for you personally.
Hi,I’m aware that this is an older post but I found it helpful as I too have become quite fearful of my thoughts,since reading about the law of attraction just over two years ago and became please that it was helping me with ongoing anorexia recovery. At the time I should have been getting professional help as I was going downhill,but I’m now with a great therapist who is helping me to get round this illness and my thinking. But what keeps coming back into my head is when I read this particular chapter in the secret the author had mentioned that people only become over weight if they thought “fat thoughts” I should know better by now but,what do you think… This obviously terrified me so much I did mention it to my therapist
Many thanks
Emma