Learning about the role our feelings and thoughts play in the law of attraction is at the same time, absolutely empowering ,and a great source of anxiety, for those of us interested in being more conscious in creating our reality.
We become hyper-aware of our emotional states. We are convinced we are stopping our manifestations in their tracks every time a bad mood strikes. We naturally have all sorts of resistance, and resisting this resistance just intensifies the negative emotion, sucking us in further, and making it harder to shift back to a more positive frame of mind.
While we can technically maintain our ‘energetic boners’ no matter what is happening around us, most of us are not so stable in our vibration that we will feel all warm and fuzzy no matter what is happening around us. Though over time, it does get easier, and even when do have our freak-outs and low moments, we handle them differently (usually.)
That whole ‘being human’ thing can be a real thorn in our sides, am I right? There are times when we will be affected by things like douchey relatives, not feeling well physically or being in an environment that isn’t exactly conducive to maintaining our positivity and higher vibration.
And again, this won’t sit well with us conscious creators because we know we our inner world is creating our outer experience. But know that while it is important to do all we can to feel better, and shift our focus to what is wanted, manifesting is not some all-or-nothing proposition where you must achieve some perfect vibration to let in anything you deem good. It is a bit more complex than that.
Naturally, the better we feel, the faster things will happen, but as I like to always say…we do have resistance, and it is what it is.
This post was inspired by a couple of things. First, one of my readers mentioned difficulty remaining in a positive state when her ‘friend’ was getting ready to come to town—talking about good old PMS if you didn’t get that reference.
It made her worry being in a more ‘negative’ state was paving the way for unwanted manifestations. All kinds of physical discomfort, and feeling like you just want to give the whole world the finger, doesn’t exactly lend itself to being all zen and aligned.
The second thing that inspired me to write this post was my own experience in being home for the last two months. As great as it is in many ways, there are lots of things I don’t like about being here, and I don’t feel as happy…I really don’t feel like myself. At least the ‘myself’ I have been in recent years. Here I slip more easily into the ‘myself’ I was in the past, and I don’t like it.
While I am better at handling this, I am human and struggle. Like most people, I find it is certainly easier to maintain a higher, more positive energy in certain environments than others; it is easier to vibe higher and stay focused more positively when things that have the potential to activate negativity and resistance are nowhere to be found.
So, now that we have established that there are times when we will be affected by outside influences, and we will struggle with keeping things on the up and up, energetically speaking, I’ll give you some tips on how to deal with these types of situations.
Sometimes Your ‘Best’ Will Be Different
While the desire to improve our lives, and be the best versions of ourselves, is certainly a good thing, us personal development people—and us LOA folk in particular—can be way too hard on ourselves. We take things way too seriously. We have this idea that we can become ‘perfect.’
We obsess over every negative thought and feeling, terrified we will forever continue to attract what is unwanted, and block what is wanted.
But again, we’re human and there will be times when you are not operating at the top of your game,energetically speaking. And again, it just is what it is. It happens.
When you are visiting with family who drives you crazy, you may find yourself reverting back to the teenage version of yourself, and your ‘best’ will be resisting the urge to absolutely freak out when your mother is yet again, criticizing your single status or questioning your life choices, even though you are fuming inside and feeling awful. Don’t beat yourself up for your reaction.
When you aren’t feeling great physically, you may not get everything done on your ‘to do’ list; you may forgo writing that blog post or working on your latest product in favor of getting cozy in bed with a good book or just sleeping all day.
When you are feeling particularly anxious about something, your usual 30-minute meditation session may feel like sheer torture, so you have only been doing 15…better than nothing.
My ‘best’ has certainly been different here. I haven’t felt as motivated and inspired to write more books in my Making Sense of the Law of Attraction Series (shameless plug.) My meditation schedule has been a bit irregular at times. While I would normally be engaging myself in all sorts of personal development ‘work’ that resonates with me, I just haven’t been feeling it, though that has been changing over the last couple of weeks.
I haven’t really been beating myself up about it though. But I do take full ownership of how I am feeling and how I have been acting. I can’t blame anything outside myself for what I am experiencing internally, how I respond to that, and how it influences my behavior.
Overall, I feel pretty good most of the time…this isn’t some big funk. There are many times I feel great, like when I am coaching, recording my podcast or exercising. But I definitely feel ‘off.’
It is important to acknowledge that sometimes we are going to struggle, and we won’t succeed 100 percent in maintaining a high-energy state in more challenging circumstances. And this will affect how we proceed. It happens. Relax about it, and don’t over-think things too much. Just go with it and…..
Do Whatever You Can to Feel Better But Don’t Force Things
Now, while it is perfectly okay to have those lower-energy moments and acknowledge certain environments, people,situations and what have you, drag down your energy, and make it harder to be more positive and upbeat, if we want to be more in control of our experience, some effort has to be made to address this.
Just totally letting ourselves get sucked in, especially if you are talking about a situation that is happening over a prolonged period of time, because it is understandable to feel badly in said situation, will obviously not bode well for your manifesting efforts, and building the positive momentum behind the energy that is conducive to allowing what you want into your life.
So you do want to make some sort of effort to shift your feelings…this doesn’t necessarily mean shifting to a state where you are shitting rainbows. Maybe you can’t feel good, but you can certainly feel better.
I was honest with myself in admitting I was really struggling being here. I knew I could feel better than I was feeling, but I just wasn’t getting to that really high-vibing state consistently. And I was okay with that.
But I knew it was important to do what I could to make some sort of shift. While I may have gotten a bit off-track with my meditation, I still meditated most days. There were times I really didn’t feel like doing it, but I knew it would help me, so I made myself sit.
A lot of mental chatter and not feeling great emotionally can be really physically draining, and there were lots of times I wanted to skip out on exercise, but I made myself go because I knew it would make me feel better.
When I found myself getting bent out of shape about certain things, I would make sure to question what was driving my reaction–and that can be a huge help because most of the time, our reactions are based on these arbitrary declarations of how things are ‘supposed’ to be and crap like that.
For example, I am writing this post at four in the morning. I fell asleep really early and woke about one wide-awake. And I found myself getting stressed about it, and then I was like…so what? Whenever I get tired, I’ll go back to sleep. My post will be done, so won’t have to worry about that, and there is nothing else on the docket today except meeting up with one of my friends for a couple of hours.
I also felt inspired to write a piece for the Huffington Post so I made good use of the time.
Again, don’t try to force an emotional state that you realize is just not happening in the moment, but know that you do have the power to shift your feelings, no matter what is happening and no matter how resistant your mind may be to feeling better. And if you choose not to make use of that power, you have to own that and realize you are making a decision to keep feeling a way you don’t want to feel.
Do Whatever You Can to Protect Your Energy
Because you are extra vulnerable in these types of situations, it is crucial to do whatever you can to protect your energy. Even the smallest tweaks can make a big difference when you add them all together. This is important all the time, but even more so, during these times.
I love my mother to death but she has serious anxiety issues, and if there is something to worry about, you can bet your ass she will dive in full bore, and it wears on me.
And because I’m not a saint, I get annoyed by this, and sometimes downright angry, because I just don’t have the patience for it any longer. Because I haven’t fully mastered shielding myself from other people’s crap, and I am quite sensitive to other people’s energy, I feel her anxiety; and I don’t like that, especially since I have been contending with enough of my own lately.
While I understand the need to voice her anxieties, I do have to put up some boundaries. And when she starts being a bit ridiculous—like getting all bent out of shape about whether my sister or I will be able to drive her to a doctor’s appointment three months from now because she doesn’t like driving in that area—I either tell her to drop it or I simply walk away.
If you are having a bad day, and you just can’t handle talking to your sister right now, who is always embroiled in some sort of drama, and does nothing but complain, don’t feel guilty about not picking up the phone.
If someone asks you to do something, and you don’t want to do it, say no. Don’t feel obligated simply because you have the time and feel like you should do it, and it would be ‘selfish’ of you to not to.
If you are craving some alone-time, don’t feel guilty about telling your husband you want to skip the usual family night out, so you can recharge your batteries.
In these moments, it is really important you get off auto-pilot and really think about what could ease some of the pain right now. The goal isn’t necessarily feeling completely better, though that is obviously ideal, but breaking up some of the negative momentum, taking the edge off.
And even the smallest shift in your energy opens the door for the positive to gain some steam, and this is where the shift in perspective comes in, this is where the easing up of the negative takes place.
In Closing…
Accept that sometimes you just may not feel great; sometimes the triggers come hard and fast, and your energy just takes a nose dive. Don’t freak out about it—it just makes it worse. You are not undoing anything. You are not stopping your manifestations in their tracks.
See what is coming up for you, and what this experience is showing you. Do what you can to feel better. Acknowledge your weak spots and do what you can to avoid triggers. Do whatever you can to feel better…I mean anything, it doesn’t matter.
Know this too shall pass…if you decide it to be so.
Your Turn…
What did you think of this post? Anything resonate with you in particular? What are your energy drags? Going through a rough patch at the moment? Any tips you would offer for getting through these more challenging times? Looking forward to your comments as always.
If you want to learn more about law of attraction, you can also find my Making Sense of the Law of Attraction series on Amazon. If you are a Kindle Unlimited member, they are free…sweet. And if you aren’t, no worries..they are super-cheap!
Thanks Kelli. I really liked this post, because we have those times a lot, where we feel at the mercy of our circumstances.
First of all – love your new photo! You look beautiful and summery. And also wondering if you are looking for another house-sit? I’m sure you and Ryan will find something great soon if you want it, due to all the energy you put towards it.
As for this topic, I have gotten into the habit now of looking for the better feeling perspective in any given situation and it has really made all the difference. My life is unrecognisable from just one year ago when I started working with LOA. Just a small shift can lead to a whole new turn in your life towards what you want, often that you never thought could happen or even knew you wanted. ALWAYS look for the better feeling in any situation. There’s no need to have a negative thought at all, you can always find something good about ANY situation and focus on that.
Hi Bunny
Glad you liked it. You are right that most of us will feel that way at times…it just is what it is. It is important we recognize that and don’t beat ourselves up for not always being ‘enlightened’ or in perfect control of our emotions. Thanks about the photo…the other was was a couple of years old and I looked so different because I was sporting a shaved head for a bit. We are actually heading to Granada, Nicaragua next week so we are excited. I love hearing about your perspectives and experience because I know how much you have changed and how you have managed to manifest so many great things that at one point seemed really elusive to you. I can tell you are very diligent about your focus and that is where the magic truly happens. And like you said, it is about a perspective that actually makes us feel better, not pretending, not denial or anything like that. I hope your new job is going well…I know it was a very exciting thing for you to manifest.
Thanks Kelli for remembering about my job. It’s blown me away in every regard, and it’s having a ripple effect on my whole life and it’s very exciting.
I am so happy to hear that!
Great blog post 🙂 I really related to this, it was as if you were talking to me 🙂 I have difficulties with my family and I’ve been feeling not so joyful today. Your blog cheered me up, especially the bit about shitting rainbows lol. Thank you Kelli 🙂
Hi Wendy
I am glad you enjoyed it. Family stuff is tough for sure…lots of history, resentments, annoyances, buttons being easily pushed. As you can see from the post, even more ‘seasoned’ people like myself are not immune from all this stuff. The key is working on handling it in ways that make us feel better and doing our best to focus on what is wanted instead,etc..As our energy changes, those relationships change in many ways and things that used to bother us don’t as much or sometimes not at all anymore. It can be a process though so don’t put too much pressure on yourself and look for the lessons in what is being mirrored back to you in these encounters
Wow Kelli, what timing for this post! Lately I’ve been annoyed by other’s energies that are close to me for the past week, this has caused me to isolate myself from everybody I live with so I can re-focus and feel better. Just prior to this all, I’ve been having an incredible run with alignment then bam! it seems like everybody I’m around is going backwards as I’m moving forward, this makes me want to seek refuge and have some alone time to re-charge. Being a writer, it helps me to get into a better feeling place to blog and sometimes you don’t feel good enough to do anything at all, but writing, it helps! I too, have been waking up at odd hours of the night but my positive focus is very strong at those wee hours as I’m not distracted by my people as well as my current reality. Timely post!
Hey Douglas
It is good you recognized the need to separate yourself for a bit so you can do some clearing, remove yourself from triggers,etc… It is hard being in close proximity to people that don’t have as high a vibe or who serve as a source of triggering resistance because being around them a lot means being triggered a lot, and obviously we don’t like that too much. The good news is, as we work on shoring up our own energy and see what is being reflected back to us in our interactions and reactions to others, we can make the shifts that make those situations happen less frequently or when things do happen, we respond to them differently and we don’t get as bothered. Good luck and I am sure you are doing a great job of protecting and nurturing that higher vibe.
I really enjoyed this post Kelli. And I agree with Bunny, love the new pic and it’s time to find your next location. That’s what I was thinking while reading the post.
It’s insightful to know you too have an “ebb and flow” with your vibration. And you’re so right about just striving to feel even a little better. Because it seems once you get the ball rolling in that direction you can incrementally ease your way back up to where you want to be.
It’s so interesting how different circumstances effect our vibration more than others. In one place you’re vibration is on one level, and a different level somewhere else. What triggers each of us individually is fascinating. I hope your present circumstance serves you for whatever reason it needs to, and you’re then able to jump forward to your next awesome destination.
I really appreciate the reminder of being flexible with how time is spent, no matter what time of day that may be. Also making your needs a priority. I’m blessed with 48 hours of alone time here at home and I’m taking advantage of every moment to relax and heal myself. Thank you Kelli.
Hey Corin
Thanks about the picture.figure it was time to update it. That other one was from almost two years ago. Oh I certainly do and I never hesitate to share that. It is easy to think people who teach anything in the realm of spirituality and personal growth must have it all figured out and that definitely is not the case. I think we do put a lot of pressure on ourselves to be masters and that just makes it harder. Our environment can certainly be a huge influence..in theory we can feel the same no matter where we are and what is happening but I imagine most people will still be triggered in different ways and have their preferences.
Flexibility can be really helpful for staying in flow and allowing our feelings to guide us more for sure, and I have found it to be a really helpful tool
Another great post, Kelli, and I agree with the posters above: love the new “do” in your photo! Makes me think I need to update my photo on a few sites. I’ve been using the same photo for a while, which I do like because I don’t look like my DMV photo haha, I’m with a beautiful horse, and my son took it for me. But maybe it does carry a lot of past energy with it, and I am a different person now.
What really piqued my interest about this post was when you wrote about being home and picking up on negative energy there. I have found myself doing this as well, and I’ve avoided going home for a long time because of that. Do you ever think there’s something more to it than simply your family dynamic or being in a physical environment from your childhood?
Some people believe that all geographic places carry a certain type of energy and attract a certain type of person who resonates with that energy. That’s why they feel the Middle East, for example, has been a hotbed of conflict for millennia because it attracts people who see only black and white on every issue. Norway, on the other hand, attracts people who are very self-actualized, for want of a better word, and people who are seeking to manifest peace and tranquility are drawn there (and supposedly, that’s why many Vikings left to conquer other places).
I do seem to find “energy pockets” in places. The Guadalupe Valley near me in Mexico is one. I always feel a different vibration when I go there, and a client who works there once commented she felt it was a vortex of healing energy. It is an amazing oasis of wine production and agriculture in an otherwise desert climate. Joshua Tree is another place like that in my mind.
I’m originally from the northeast too, and I’m trying to put my finger on the vibrational energy I get from there. Any thoughts?
So excited I have your podcast to look forward to during my break today! Thank you!
Hey Patricia
Thanks so much about the picture and for sharing your experience. I do agree that places can have a certain energy and it may draw certain types of people there. I also think that where we feel drawn to travel to or live for a time can also reflect things back to us that match our energy in someway…that has been my experience with traveling. It was like every place I was in was the perfect environment for the realizations, blocks,etc..that were revealed to me. I get a more frantic energy where I live and I think that can be a lot of places in that part of the country. I hope you enjoy the podcast!
I definitely agree with your idea that the places you are drawn to are the ones that reveal something important to you for your next stage of personal development.
As someone who likes to write fiction, I also feel like sometimes the Universe (or whatever higher power you choose to call it) is giving me material for my use as an artist. I don’t know sometimes how to make use of that and not get pulled into a dark place if those stories or bits of information are not positive but little gold nuggets from a writer’s perspective. I’ve literally had murder and mayhem take place around me and felt like I was being handed a story on a silver platter. But when I go to write about it, I don’t want to be drawn into that energy. I know this is something that plagues a lot of artists, and Esther Hicks/Abraham talk about it in one of their CDs that I don’t have, but I’ve never seen it discussed elsewhere. I don’t know how you can work with that and shield yourself from it at the same time.
Hi Kelli
Great post and a real thought provoker.
As you say it’s easy to get sidetracked by external influences, such as negative people, career set backs or even relationship issues. Trying to combat these influences is an eternal battle for me. Fortunately I am much better at it now than previously.
Let’s face it, most people are going to get off track and have down days. But I’ve noticed that some allow a negative event such as a business setback affect them for days and even weeks. If there is one thing I’ve become much better at now it is that I bounce back very quickly. Sometimes after a just a few hours. Maybe people can work on this aspect for themselves.
Your point about doing whatever you can to protect your energy is 100% valid. Even without negative external influences to contend with everyone has a down day, a flat day – the bla’s. Maybe it is hormonal (being a guy I don’t have the pms issue to worry about although my late wife claimed I was a bigger ‘girl’ than she ever was!) – who knows? Best thing is to get back onto a creative plane, pronto. When we do that inspiration starts all over again. Kind of wonderful, eh?
Thanks lots Kelli!
Kim
Hey Kim
Thanks so much for your comment and sharing your experience. That is great that over time you bounce back more quickly…that really is the key. I think we can work on eliminating certain triggers and over time certain things don’t bother us that used to even in the slightest, but we still will all have our moments. It’s empowering to know we can move past them without it taking a long time or not having to work so hard…we just start to gravitate back towards a more positive state more naturally. I totally agree that engaging our creativity somehow can be a great fix.
Yes, Kelli, I am going through something at the moment and lo and behold, the Universe brought me to you! It always shows me the way, for which I am truly, deeply grateful!
Thank you for reminding us that we are not undoing anything; not stopping our manifestations in their tracks. I am working on something big, which gets me so excited, and then I have to deal with family and neighbor crap. It really sucks, however there is less family drama lately, for which I am truly and deeply grateful. For that, you need to set boundaries. It works. With the neighbors, they just keep getting noisier and noisier and it drives me nuts and I get all bent out of shape about it. No matter how much you complain to them, they keep on going, like the energizer bunny. However, at least they are not constantly ringing the doorbell for me to retrieve their ball that ends up in our backyard. So, I am truly, deeply grateful for that. I laugh to myself when I think they won’t make the NBA, so that makes me feel a bit better. As for their dog constantly barking and the grandmother yelling her lungs out, well, I can’t stuff anything in her mouth or shoot the dog with a BB gun, but there are times when I do not even notice them. so for that I am truly, deeply grateful and appreciative. Kind of like white noise. Maybe they can become that, with the help of the Universe, which always helps in everything, after turning to it with problems you need to work out.
I think, in your case, you do not like being here because you need to deal with family, now that you are physically here, whereas before, you were away, so they could not reach out and taunt you. It is not really taunting to them, though, you see. They probably do not see these things as you do and so they keep acting like that.
I need to read the other comments and see what the others are saying, because I need all the help I can get with this topic.
It definitely is hard to keep your vibration at a high rate constantly. Feeling down or unwell affects us all at times. I find that listening to my favourite music, or going outside for a short walk really helps. I love all the photos of your travels, you have certainly visited lots od different places:)
Hi Kathy
Thanks for your comment. I think to expect to remain in one state at all times is kind of crazy when you think about it, but we do have that expectation, which isn’t met over and over again. We’re human and if there was anything we weren’t ‘supposed’ to experience, I don’t think we would be able to. So, all the emotions are par for the course and have value. I am a fan of music and exercise as well. Thanks about the photos…traveling is one of my passions and I love being able to experience so many different parts of the world.
Thanks for this message.
PMS is the WORST for trying to keep your vibration high. And it feels so unfair to have to deal with it.
Hi Erica
Thanks for your comment and you are right–one of the more challenging times. In those sorts of moments, I recognize my ‘best’ might be different than during a higher-vibing time and that takes some of the pressure off.
I just found this post, and it was perfect and resonated exactly with what I was going through. It helped me in more than one aspect of my life and I am so grateful that I found it!
Hi Sharli
Thanks so much for your comment and I am so glad the post was helpful and timely for you!
Hi Kelli,
I just wanted to say thank you for this post all the way from Weston super mare in the UK. I have been practicing gratitude for a few months and like many people my life’s change dramatically. I have stopped smoking, come of antidepressants and learning to embrace being a new mum to my 6 month old daughter. I think I’ve always used the law of attraction in my life but just never really knew it!!
Anyway, I really suffer with my hormones and fluctuations this brings anxiety, moods and I feel out of my positive zone. This is happening right now!! Anyway I just wanted to say thank you that you written this post because I spend many a hour beating myself up but your post made me realize that I just need to ride it but do things that will improve my vibration. How amazing I found your site and articles!!!
Have the greatest day, all my love and thanks from the little sea side town in the UK.
I’m so glad to have read this this evening. Every month in the week leading up to menstruation I feel like my spiritual path and LOA practice gets so muddled and clouded and sometimes nearly impossible. I haven’t come across much literature/any articles about it despite it seeming to be a real and pressing thing. Thanks for your advice
Hi Freya
Thanks so much for your comment and so glad you found the post helpful. Sometimes we will just be ‘off’ and that’s okay. The less pressure we feel to ‘manage’ energy the easier it gets.
Almost exact 7 years later (2 days!!)
A woman, me, googled ‘Law of attraction and PMS’ and found your post at the top.
Thank you for making me aware and calm, and obviously with that, more positive 😁😂☀️❤️
Hi Jasmin
Glad it was helpful!