How to Be Yourself when You’re Terrified to Be Yourself

So, on this lovely Friday,  I am pleased to bring you a guest post by my awesome husband Ryan. He is sharing some awesome tips today on how to step into you really are, and exist in that space with as much comfort as possible. He’s one smart dude who knows how to tell a story…enjoy! 

I couldn’t believe that I saw his ding dong.

The “up in the years” Balinese dude was splayed out on the beach, doing his best Kate Upton impersonation possible.

Except he was desnudo.

Baring it all in Bali.

I had to give him credit; even though I averted my eyes to avoid the full junk experience on the beaches of Jimbaran, Bali, this guy was being himself. And he didn’t give 2 shakes about it either….to the point where Bali Bob was lazing in the surf, in his full glory, being totally naked.

Kelli and Me and Guest Blogging

My wife Kelli – I like the sound of that – asked me if I wanted to publish a guest post for her.

I gobbled up that opportunity in a heartbeat.

Then, the fun began; I thought about her audience, and my style. I thought….how authentic can I truly be? Can I use the words “ding dong”? What would her readers think?

I played around with my story line for a while – ok for like 40 seconds – and then, I chose a travel experience to flesh out (hahaha, pun). A story for her audience, BUT a story that was mine, that was authentic, that was genuine and that was playful.

I am blessed because I’ve been publishing these wacky travel stories over at Blogging from Paradise for a minute. I am largely, authentically, genuinely, myself, over there, and offline too. BUT I know damn well how terrifying it can be, to be yourself, when you’re frightening fearful of:

• Being criticized
• Being ostracized
• Losing friends
• Losing anything
• Being mortified
• Feeling awkward

……and about 15,004 other low energy, scary emotions you may experience when you’re being…..YOU! Being authentic does get easier and easier though. I promise.

The secret is in studying Bali Bob.

Let it All Hang Out

Do I need to embellish? Bob let it all hang out. I mean, he took this one to new levels.

Here is this Balinese dude, Mr. Buck Naked, a tiny speck of pepper amongst of sea of Balinese Bule Salt. (“Bules” are white folk in Bali, or, just tourists and ex-pats pretty much)

He frankly did not care. Before all us uptight whites with our Western Shame arrived on the Island of the Gods Bali dudes and dudettes used to do a lot of stuff in the buff. It was what it was.

The body is no big deal to the Balinese. Just a vessel. Carrying a spirit. So he gets nekid. Being him. Authentic, Genuine. Not fearing one iota being authentic, too.

You can let it all hang out. Depending on the ordinances of your local town, city or municipality I don’t advise you parade around town naked; although if you do, share the story with me….I could always use a colorful blog post idea!

But you can let it all hang out by:

• Letting go friends who criticize you for being authentic, genuine, and flat out, comfortable in your own skin
• Surrounding yourself with authentic, genuine people
• Working on your mindset through meditation and affirmation and visualization, to vibe higher, so you’ll naturally act…well natural (without going au natural in public places I might add)
• Becoming a creative dynamo in your craft of choice (my favorite)

…..OK….so Bali Bob let it all hang out. He was being authentic, without really worrying about being authentic, and because of that he’s become a mini celebrity in certain blogging circles (yes I’ve featured him on Blogging from Paradise).

Imagine a Tuning Fork

Kelli is the law of attraction maven, the queen of manifesting mucho fun, the princess of prosperity.

(The dishes are still on me next time, even after those ringing endorsements.)

I figured that I’d share my fave LOA analogy for letting it all hang out and not giving an ish while you let it all hang out.

Picture a tuning fork. You bang it against something and that sucker vibrates hardcore, for a long time. The fork will continue to vibrate strongly, and either Father Time or clamping your fingers on it will cause it to stop vibing, with time being a slow vibe-killer and your fingers being the instant vibe killer.

Guys like Bali Bob (and me, some of the time, although I’ve yet to be a Biddulph in the Buff in Bali) are similar to a tuning fork that’s been banged violently against something; that sucker’s gonna vibe high for a LONG time, and nothing but time will cause it/him/me to vibe low.

When a human vibes high, they let it all hang out and could give 2 shakes less what people think, feel or do in response to their authenticity.

Example: Recall the last time you laughed out loud (letting it all hang out), so loudly that you started coughing, and tearing up. In that moment, you weren’t even AWARE of other people around you (tuning fork vibrating at a violent rate).

You can achieve this level of *not caring* to the point where you let it all hang out, around anybody, anywhere. You can be the tuning fork, vibing high, feeling amazing, and NOT CARING what others think, say or do in response to you being you, if you don’t clamp your fingers on the fork (if you don’t skip your personal development sessions daily), and if you keep the “authenticity top” spinning, by acting authentic, and by being yourself, more frequently throughout the day.

He Hung Where He Was Loved

Minds out of the gutter folks. The 2^nd word was unintended. Or was it?

Anyway, Bali Bob was from Jimbaran, the little fishing village – where Kelli and I are heading to on February 3^rd for a 4 month house sit – and hell, he was just chilling in his backyard, letting his mortal coil lay where it lay, without a care in the world. He was being himself in a spot where people would appreciate his authenticity. Or, where they wouldn’t hassle him for it, at least.

I reckon he wouldn’t have been as well received in, say, the town center of Ubud, with tons of tourists and local businesses and all sorts of stuff/people which wouldn’t exactly resonate with his cool, calm and collected lounging in the nudge.

If Bob flashed his booty in an urban center of Bali I betcha Bob would have had a nice little run-in with the polisi (Indonesian for “police”, and maybe one day I’ll share our humorous tale of a corrupt polisi and equally corrupt tourists who paid him off….wink….wink…..wink….wink).

But Bob knew better. On a relatively quiet beach, well away from the hoards of bloated, over-sized tourists, sucking down their Bingtangs, the wise Balinese got all nekid in the tidal pool, scaring both puffer fish and sand crabs while eliciting the odd chuckle from tourists who ventured into this No Man’s Land on the beach.

You my friend, will want to hang where your authentic, genuine self is welcome. Case in point; me being a playful blogger living in paradise, who tells stories about old naked Balinese old men, would probably not be best served by connecting with bloggers who are huge on publishing practical, straight-laced posts, geared towards a more serious audience.

Maybe the odd serious blogger would get a rise out of my opening ding dong line above but after a few sentences they’d be looking for something different. The clear, serious blogger would leave my blog and the unclear, unhappy, serious blogger would likely criticize me.

I myself would rather hang with fun-loving folks who appreciate the authentic ME, because this is how I grow a nice little authentic, like-minded community, and this is how I touch more lives, and this is how I become even more authentic, and this is how just about every famous, prospering, inspirational person on earth builds a community, and is authentic in doing so.

Since you’re a reader of Kelli’s blog I can betcha you’d love hanging with other readers from this thriving Live Life Made to Order Community. Introduce yourself to one another. Visit blogs, Facebook profiles and connect. Respond to each other’s comments. You’ll be stunned at how quickly you’ll become comfy in your own skin when you surround yourself with people who appreciate your authenticity.

The Biggest Takeaway

If you’re still trying to erase images of a 70 year old Balinese man frolicking around in the surf, naked, you and me both pal. I admired his cajones – stop it – but in the same regard, I am a bit struck with trepidation about strolling down that same stretch of beach next week, when we make our return to Jimbaran.

Anyway, if you want to be authentic even if you are scared more than anything to be authentic, ramp up your personal development time.

Spend at least 30 to 60 minutes daily in a quiet room. Keep the tuning fork vibing violently, so you’ll be happy to be you, so much so that you’ll NEVER want to be anyone else, other than you, even if it scares you sometimes.

Bonus; as they tuning fork vibes HIGH you’ll magnetize yourself to awesome, authentic people, who will inspire you, support you, and yes, some of these folks will become clients or business partners too.

Practical Tips

• Meditate
• Visualize
• Affirm
• Read inspirational books
• Listen to hypnotherapy audios
• Subscribe to Blogging from Paradise (this one’s only for folks who want to retire to a life of island hopping through smart blogging)

I was a self-conscious, frightened, doubt-filled, very inauthentic guy ‘bout 6 years ago.

Now I write whacked out stories about Balinese in the buff and ding dongs and I fear not telling these lurid tales to help you become a pro blogger and to help you live your life made to order.

I can feel your authenticity seeping through the comments field now.

Go ahead, let me know what you think!

Summary

Let it all hang out. Surround yourself with genuine people. Work on your mental tools. Think about that tuning fork analogy. If all else fails, shock your system by imagining a naked Balinese man masquerading as a raisin in the sun, on the beaches of beautiful Jimbaran, Bali.

That’ll get you back to the moment, and that’ll help you muster the courage to be yourself when you are terrified to be yourself.

Your Turn

What tips can you add to this list?

How are you being authentic?

Have you seen a naked man lazing on the beach in Bali?

Call to Action

If you’re interested in blogging, and are open to the idea of becoming a full time, professional digital nomad – like Kelli and I – subscribe to my blog.

Clickie clickie this link guys and enter your email next to that ugly green bar at the top of the page.

Blogging from Paradise

I’ll send you my free 7,000 word post weekly. And I may bribe you with other free updates too.

Please share this post on all of your social networks.

I appreciate you, and thanks Wifey!