Serenity Now: Creating Peace in Everyday Life Part 2

Like I had mentioned in my first post on achieving inner peace, there was just too much I had to say to fit it all into one, especially with the way I tend to write. I definitely like to flesh out my points, which you probably already know if you have visited here before. So, welcome to part two, where I will share some more of my insights on how to acquire this much- sought- after feeling.

A feeling whose presence in my life continues to expand I’m happy to say. She sometimes doesn’t stick around as long as I like, but that is all part of the fun, because it is important to know achieving a greater sense of peace is not necessarily about feeling good all the time.

It is about learning to cope with these unwelcome feelings in a better way; it is about learning to ride out the waves of uncertainty and challenge that continuously roll into our lives with a bit more grace. So, if you are like the average person, you will get unlimited opportunities to exercise your inner peace muscle—I know I sure do.

So, without further ado, I bring to you part two of my musings on becoming a more serene human being.

Give Your Ego the Smackdown

Our good old ego is largely responsible for the mental strife we cause ourselves each and every day; it is the enemy of inner peace if there ever was one. If we can learn to give it the smackdown more often, the serenity will flow into your life faster than you can keep up with it. Okay, that might be a bit of an exaggeration, but the results you can achieve will make you wonder how you tortured yourself for so long.

Think how much inner muck gets riled up from our need to argue, prove we are right, correct other people when they are wrong, or when we at least perceive them to be wrong..the list could go on and on.

Like I had mentioned in my first post, one of my main drivers in trying to improve myself was to just feel better, and as my awareness expanded and I got off auto-pilot, I began to see a lot of my problems were caused by that damn ego of mine. Things I had always felt compelled to do no longer seemed necessary.

I began to examine more closely what was prompting my need to debate, argue, prove a point, explain myself,etc..and I discovered what is probably true for everyone else—it comes from our own doubt about our beliefs and points of view, and worrying about other people making assumptions, or thinking badly about us.

If you begin an argument with someone over some issue, you are actually trying to convince yourself that you believe what you are saying is true, not trying to get the other person to ‘see the light.’ So, when looked at from this angle, what is the point in even having the discussion? Your time would be better spent in reflection, and seeing what is causing this disconnect between what you believe to be right or true, and the discomfort triggered by opposing points of view.

If you hear someone say something that isn’t right, but isn’t putting anyone in danger with this misinformation, can you resist the urge to correct him?

If you hold an opinion on a particular topic that you know will not be well-received by the people in your company, do you think you can bite your tongue and just not say anything?

If there is a certain aspect of your lifestyle that, if discussed, will lead to criticism, judgment, unwanted questions, lectures and other things you know will piss you off, can you resist the urge to enter into the typical discussion where you want to defend yourself, make sure you dispel any incorrect assumptions people may have about you, and exercise your right to express your opinion?

If someone expresses an opinion you disagree with, on a topic that tends to get you heated up, can you just let it go without entering into an inner-peace-killing conversation?

This is not to say that you should never express your thoughts and feelings again , or it is not possible for people with opposing views to have a civil, intelligent conversation. It is quite possible actually. But, when you know this is not likely to happen, put your ego aside and just keep your mouth shut.

Oh, and while we’re on the subject, try and do the same online–this one is much easier since you totally have the choice to NOT type something. While it can be more challenging to exercise this ego smackdown when face to face with people, no excuses when it comes to the internet!

Start Your Day in a Good Mental Space

How we feel in the morning when our feet first hit the floor often sets a strong tone for the rest of the day, or at the very least, its first few hours. One of the things that has helped me most with feeling more peaceful as I go through my day, is making an effort to start off my waking hours in a good mental space. I notice a huge difference in my energy and how I approach the rest of my day, no matter what happens.

Right when we wake up, our minds tend to go into overdrive. We think of all that was left undone yesterday that needs our attention today; then we pile on all the new ‘stuff’ we must attend to.

You might reach right for some sort of device before you’re even in an upright position, to check your email , or see how many people ‘liked’ your most recent status update (Facebook and social media in general will also be addressed at some point in my little series so stay tuned…) Nothing that can’t wait a bit I’m sure.

We feel rushed and anxious, and this is not good. We carry this energy into everything we do, from brushing our teeth to our commute.

If you can take a few minutes in the morning to meditate, just sit quietly, do some deep breathing, bust out a few affirmations, stretch or whatever else will make you feel all warm and fuzzy, you would be amazed at the difference it can make—it will create a ripple effect that will last the whole day. So, set that alarm five minutes earlier—do whatever it is you want to do first thing.

Learn to Accept the Moment for What It Is

When things don’t go as we planned, or not in the way we expected, any sense of peace we may be feeling can be chucked right out the window. This little nugget of wisdom is one of the primary teachings of the wise Buddha, and if we can remember to apply it, even just sometimes, we are golden.

Having been traveling almost constantly the last three years in parts of the world where the people, and the way things work, are typically drastically different from where I originally hail, I have been ‘blessed’ with plenty of opportunities to accept what is, rather than resist it, and focus my mental energy on how I want ,or think, things should be. Sometimes I fail miserably, but my success rate continues to climb as time goes on. Resistance and inner peace are like oil and water.

Now, it is important to remember accepting a moment for what it is doesn’t mean you have to fall in love with it, and give it a great big hug and a kiss. Though, if you can learn to welcome challenges as a means to grow and improve, you might be able to get in this space.

But, if not, don’t worry. You may still feel angry, annoyed, disappointed, frustrated, or whatever, but the acceptance dissolves the resistance. That extra layer of negative feeling that comes with fighting what is goes away. And, in most cases, any unpleasant emotion you may be experiencing will reduce in intensity, and go away much more quickly. Sometimes, you might be able to let go of the feeling completely, and be okay no matter what—oh how I love when that happens!

So, the next time you find yourself in a situation where things are not happening as you would like them to, or in a way you think they should be, take a deep breath and let the acceptance wash over you. Try not to fight it—take note of the resistance, and tell it to take a hike. Keep perspective on what is happening, and don’t let your emotions get carried away.

So, there you have the second part of my two cents on serenity…hope you enjoyed it!