Law of Attraction: I’m Jealous of Other People’s Manifestations

Hi Kelli,

Thanks so much for all your inspiration and insights.  I can’t tell you how much they’ve aided me in the last 6 months or so, since I’ve been consciously working on my energy.  (Why thank you very much) 

I have a question about jealousy.  I have a friend who was raised to believe he was basically a demi-god.  As a result, he never doubts himself and, as a result, seems to manifest anything and everything he desires.  I, on the other hand, was raised to think very little of myself.  While I realize this is a limiting belief, I cannot help but feel jealous and resentful of my friend.  He doesn’t have to do any energy work.  In fact, he thinks I’m a fool for even reading this LOA stuff – and yet he’s secretly a master-manifester!  How can I let go of my jealousy?   

Great question and this is something that many conscious creators run into. You start paying more attention to other people’s manifestations and wondering how in the hell they are getting all the good stuff. They aren’t ‘enlightened.’ They aren’t doing the ‘work.’ They are ‘negative.’ They don’t even believe in the law of attraction! What the fuck?

Let’s dive in shall we?  

It’s ‘Being’ Not ‘Doing’

This question perfectly illustrates one of the most important things to remember, yet easiest to forget. Manifesting happens on the level of ‘being’ not ‘doing.’ All the ‘work’ we do in the forms of affirmations, visualization and other tools serve as a means to an end, the end being creating an energy that lends itself to the things we want showing up in some shape or form.

By consciously working with our energy, we help things come more quickly. We make quicker and easier shifts in our belief system and perspectives. We allow in things that might have seemed impossible at once; we make our lives grander and more wonderful than we ever imagined. We increase the awesomeness factor exponentially.

We can cut out a lot of unwanted experiences, bypass some of the ‘bumps’ and ‘failures’ that might otherwise show up when we are creating by default and unconsciously, rather than consciously and with intention.

If any of this stuff happens by the way, it’s totally fine and just vibrational feedback, and we can choose how to respond. Just had to throw that in there. But back to the issue at hand.

We have always been creating our reality, regardless of whether we were aware of it or not. It’s impossible not to create; the only thing you can do is choose not to consciously engage and, explore your energy, and remain in ‘default’ mode, letting life happen to you.

It’s easy to look at the law of attraction as some sort of ‘tool’ you weren’t using before and now you can; it’s easy to think before you weren’t creating your reality and everything was just random, but now that you know about this ‘secret’, you have somehow activated a new mode of reality creation that wasn’t there before.

So many people lament the law of attraction isn’t ‘working’ and they are going to ‘give up’ on it. Good luck with that 😉 Again, you can’t give up on creating, only consciously creating.

So because manifesting happens on the level of ‘being’ and not ‘doing’ this means no specific actions are required on our part, in the realm of tools and what not, in order to receive. Again, these things have great power in helping shift energy and focus, but have no power in and of themselves.

This is why people who don’t seem to be doing the ‘work’ are able to get the things that seem to be eluding you, much to your frustration and jealousy. It seems ‘unfair’ does it not?

You are ‘trying’ so hard and it seems to be a breeze for them and they aren’t ‘doing’ a damn thing. They might not even believe in something like the law of attraction. They aren’t even that great of a person and don’t seem to ‘deserve’ all these things.

Like awesome question asker noted above, this person was instilled with a very high opinion of himself from a very young age, so energetically he was in a good space to get the good stuff, whether it be money, a great job, relationships, or whatever else we have collectively deemed desirable.

Some of the beliefs that may stand in the way for many of us may have been largely absent in him. Many of the beliefs we may have to work to consciously cultivate because they have been largely absent in us were dominant in him all along.

If someone was raised by parents who ran successful businesses and made a lot of money, that sort of life would seem very natural to her. Making six figures a year wouldn’t seem so out of reach or impossible. She didn’t absorb a lot of the money ‘shit’ that tends to come with being raised in a family where financial struggle was the norm.

If someone was raised by parents who were ultra-encouraging and convinced their child he could truly do anything, he is going to be primed for success much more readily than someone whose parents may have been overly-critical or abusive.

If someone had a really good relationship with her father, who treated her very well–barring potential issues that might muddy that energy a bit–she will be drawn to men that treat her just as well, not the ones who treat her like crap. She knows her worth.

Just like ‘negative’ beliefs can be operating below our awareness, and influencing our lives without realizing it, same goes for ‘positive’ beliefs. I am sure you have amassed plenty throughout your life that have served you very well.

It’s easy to think that before you start consciously exploring your energy, everything in it must be shitty, with nothing good to show for it. But that is almost certainly not true for anyone, no matter how mucked up their energy may be.

I am sure if you looked back on your life before a teaching like the law of attraction came on your radar, you manifested plenty of good things, and you already believed many things that were ‘good’ and ‘positive.’

When you realize it’s about ‘being’ and not about ‘doing’ the jealousy you may feel towards those who seem to get things so easily, again, without doing the ‘work’ starts to fade because you realize all the ‘work’ you are putting in energetically is not what creates anyway, and you can ease up a bit.

You realize it’s not ‘unfair.’ You realize it can be just as ‘easy’ for you as it is for other people.

You make the realization that there may be some kinks in your energy, and you’ll work on making the shifts in whatever way works best for you.

Which brings me to my next point…

Honestly Appraising Your Energy

Being able to honestly assess our energy, our belief system and how we have been focusing is absolutely crucial to manifesting at our ‘peak’ capacity, to alignment.

And this part of the process is one we tend to avoid at all costs, a part that we can completely overlook actually when we look at manifesting as some action-based activity where if you ‘do’ enough in the form of asking the Universe for what you want, affirming, visualizing and what have you, something has to give eventually.

Sure, we understand we have to uncover some limiting beliefs and change them, but again, we really zero in on the ‘doing,’ thinking that is really where the magic happens, and it isn’t.

You can do all the tools and techniques until the cows come home, but if your energy really isn’t shifting in any meaningful way, if you are really attached to what you want and stubbornly insisting it must be that thing, if you are still largely living outside in, if you are insisting you won’t release a belief until you manifest something that ‘proves’ it isn’t valid, you’re going to have a hell of a time getting into receiving mode.

It is easy to fall into the trap of thinking just because we have accepted the validity of certain beliefs, and rejected that of others, on an intellectual level, that we have actually made these same shifts on a level of energy.

That intellectual acknowledgement and rejection is of course the first step, as we are taking in all this information with our mind. But as for this taking place in our energy, that is something that can be more of a process that unfolds over time. But have no fear–any shift in this direction will benefit you. Perfect vibration not required.

We can swear up and down we don’t believe certain things anymore, and that we have wholeheartedly adopted these more ‘manifesting-friendly’ beliefs, but if we really take a look at how we are focusing and feeling, how we are responding to the events in our lives, it becomes clear as day this isn’t really true.

And that’s okay. Denying this won’t do us any favors. It won’t make it easier to make these shifts. Pretending you believe something you don’t, or you no longer believe something you used to, won’t do anything to shift your vibration. It will just further cement the problem.

Remember the Universe isn’t responding to what you want or what you’re saying, or your resistance to, and unhappiness with, your current circumstances–it’s responding to your energy, and that energy can’t be defied.

Now, this doesn’t mean you must constantly monitor your energy for any hint of negativity, and squash it immediately. This doesn’t mean constantly assessing the state of your inner world, or spending hours and hours daily trying to ‘change’ your vibration.

But it does mean we have to be willing to pay more attention to how we are feeling overall, how we are responding to the situations in our lives, and what is being triggered, how we are focusing.

It means we have to be honest with ourselves that perhaps we haven’t made the shifts required of us, that we have been primarily focusing negatively, that we haven’t consciously engaged our energy consistently enough, and the old programming is still dominant.

This is a good thing because your energy is totally under your control, and if you can honestly admit it needs some tweaking, you can do something about that. You can’t change what you deny is there in the first place.

And this personal responsibility for your vibration is a very empowering thing. It makes you realize that the ‘lack’ you feel in your life now isn’t due to being ‘unlucky,’ because you are doing manifesting ‘wrong,’ or because life is just unfair and nothing you can do about it.

It is just a reflection of your energy, which again, is something you can change. But this honest assessment is required of you. It might not be comfortable but it’s key.

Dissecting Jealousy

On the surface, the reasons for our jealousy are quite simple. Someone has something we don’t that we want too. We feel badly seeing people enjoy the things we are missing, the absence of which makes us feel really badly. Other people’s good fortune and happiness only serve to amplify our own ‘bad’ fortune and unhappiness.

But as any good conscious creator knows, a lot more is usually going on beneath the surface reactions, and reasons for our behaviors, perspectives and feelings.

By examining our jealousy more deeply, we can get lots of great insights into our energy, our beliefs, fears and perspectives, as well as greater clarity about what we truly want to receive in our lives.

So in the case of awesome question asker, perhaps she feels jealous this person wasn’t ‘burdened’ with some of the limiting beliefs with which she has to contend. She feels life has been ‘unfair’ to her and put her at a disadvantage.

She resents having to do all this ‘work’ to achieve something he has seemed to without any effort whatsoever.

Maybe our jealousy is revealing a limiting belief that advocates for ‘scarcity’ and that there is only so much to go around. For every dollar someone makes, that’s one less dollar for me. For every boyfriend someone manifests, that’s one less potential match available for me. For every job snagged by someone else in my dream field, one less potential job for me.

Maybe our jealousy is revealing a belief that we are not good enough somehow, or we are lacking something our mind believes is necessary to getting what we want, that there are conditions that must be met first in order for our manifestations to make their way in.

All your skinny friends seem to have no trouble finding boyfriends, so your mind concludes that your weight is the primary culprit. And you’ll never be as thin as them so you’re basically screwed.

All your friends who have good jobs went to college, and you couldn’t afford it, so you never got a degree, and your mind concludes you will never be able to get as good a job or make as much money.

Maybe we feel people didn’t ‘deserve’ these good things because they didn’t put in the ‘work’ to manifest them, or because they aren’t a ‘good’ person. And this reveals to you some screwy ideas about deserving–that it is based on what you ‘do’ or is contingent on what kind of person you are. You uncover your own issues of deserving in the process that may be getting in the way of your manifesting.

Like anything else we experience in life, there is something to be learned and uncovered if we are willing to dive in.

And one last thing I would like to add here. Do your best not to pay attention to other people’s manifestations. Their good fortune will not detract from your own.

You have no idea what these manifestations mean to them, and whether they are even truly happy or not. Your best friend’s relationship’s primary purpose is to mirror back her willingness to settle. Your sister’s awesome new job comes with a sexist new boss who is the perfect mirror for her feelings of powerlessness and belief being a woman puts her at a huge disadvantage in her field. See what I’m getting at here?

Just focus on yourself.

Your Turn

What did you think? Anything resonate in particular? Have you ever gotten any good insights from examining your jealousy? Looking forward to your comment as always.

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