If you want to succeed in this attracting game, the vibration is where it’s at. This is the sum of all our feelings and beliefs, and whatever is predominant will determine the types of experiences we attract into our reality. On one hand, it is quite simple, but on the other, quite complex, and it is a good thing the Universe is orchestrating it all! If it was up to us, we’d probably be in quite a bit of trouble.
There is a lot of misunderstanding about law of attraction, and this is why many people have so much trouble manifesting. There is a lot of focus on thinking positively–while what we think certainly factors into the equation, it doesn’t matter how positive a thought if the feeling isn’t truly there.
We hear a lot about visualizing, which can be an awesome tool, but it is not manifesting. Again, if the feelings aren’t there, you can think about what you want every waking moment, and it won’t matter. Once you have decided you want something, it gets put on the Universe’s ‘to-do list.’ Technically, you would never have to think about that thing again, and you would still get it if it were the best representation of the feelings you are after, and it is something you truly wanted.
Attraction is about manifesting situations that match the feelings and beliefs that are predominant within us, it isn’t about thinking things and making those exact things happen, though our manifestations often do turn out to be very similar.
So, if vibration is where it’s at, and our vibration is the sum of our beliefs and feelings, doing everything we can to root out the shitty ones, and nurture the good ones, is priority number one. Here is my first set of tips, with more to follow Friday. Enjoy!
Be Careful Whom You Let In
Given how much our current cruddy belief system has been influenced by things outside of us, particularly other people, I can’t stress the importance of this enough, especially when you are still in the ‘newbie’ phase of reconnecting with that powerful creator within. You feel resonant with law of attraction. That part of you that knows this stuff is true has been awakened, and you want to start living life more consciously and take control. You are studying and working on applying the principles.
This way of thinking and being is quite foreign, and your brain is probably still fighting you a lot. Your limiting beliefs are strong. You may still be skeptical, and not fully sure if this is how it works. It may seem too easy. You look at the bad things that happen in the world, and you can’t wrap your head around it. A spark was lit within, but it is still far from being a raging fire that permeates your being, and nothing can extinguish it faster than letting in other people’s doubts and negativity.
Don’t talk about law of attraction with people who you know won’t resonate with it—there is a lot of misunderstanding of what it is really about, and many think it is a load of crap, or people who believe in it are naïve about the way the world ‘really works.’
Don’t share the hopes and dreams you have allowed yourself to want, because of your belief in LOA, with people who will make you feel like you can’t have have them, or that these things can’t possibly come to you by simply believing you’ll get it and feeling good.
Guard your energy closely. Do your best to surround yourself with people who make you feel good, and have a positive view on life. Don’t get sucked into other people’s drama and complaining.
Pay Attention to Outside ‘Stimuli’, How It Makes You Feel, and Make the Necessary Changes
We are surrounded by so much ‘stuff’ that can really mess with our vibration, and make it hard for the new belief system we are trying to develop take root more deeply , and incredibly easy for the crappy beliefs and feelings to stay right where they are, and dig in even further.
Law of attraction is all about living more consciously, and deliberately choosing our thoughts and feelings. It requires us to get off auto-pilot, tune into what is happening inside, and genuinely start feeling better (not just thinking happy thoughts.)
So, you are going to have to start paying more attention to your external world, what you are feeling, and what is triggering those feelings. Chances are, you have a whole bunch of triggers—some will be quite obvious, like spending several hours a day watching 24-hour news channels, while others will not make themselves known until you really start expanding your awareness.
By identifying outside ‘stimuli’ that trigger limiting beliefs, make you doubt law of attraction, or just drag down your energy overall, you can take control of your vibration by avoiding these things. If you are trying to improve your financial situation, for example, you may notice that watching certain television shows trigger bad feelings about people with money, so you should stop watching them. You may find certain topics of conversation just don’t make you feel that good, so you should avoid getting into said topics.
I don’t have children by choice, and a few years ago, I came across a website that had a forum where other people like myself would discuss all sorts of issues. At first, I liked it there because it was nice to see there were other people that were like me (let’s face it, even in this day and age, a lot of people find this choice quite strange, and many people are subject to lots of invasive questioning and unfair judgment.) I enjoyed talking with people who were struggling and sharing advice.
There was lots of support there. But, there was also lots of nastiness and bitterness—clearly there were a lot of people who were feeling quite sensitive about this issue, and there was lots of parent-bashing, and pumping up the ‘childfree’ lifestyle. That didn’t vibe with me, and I had no interest in that. I was relatively secure in my choice, so I didn’t feel compelled to go there. I guess because I had greater clarity, and a higher vibration, I personally didn’t attract people that made rude comments, asked inappropriate questions and were just generally douchey about the whole thing, so I had nothing to share on that front anyway. In fact, it is a topic of conversation that rarely comes up for me.
I realized this site was no longer something that evoked good feelings, but negative ones, and I promptly stopped visiting it.
Often times, we are feeling badly on a consistent basis, but are unaware of the myriad things contributing to these feelings—to really start raising your vibration, you have to start paying attention.
Practice Focusing On Good-Feeling Thoughts
When we first start waking up to our power and what is possible, we come to realize we are actually pretty bad at focusing positively! It can actually feel quite uncomfortable as we are so used to worrying, thinking about what we don’t want and imagining worst-case scenarios. The reason it feels difficult is because there is not a lot of momentum behind these warm and fuzzies, but a hell of a lot behind the crappy stuff. We can go down that road with zero effort, and get sucked back into it quite easily anytime we work on making a departure. It is kind of sad when you think about it, that we usually need to practice feeling happy! But, it is what it is, and it can be changed.
Because of all this momentum, it can seem really hard to think positively, and cultivate genuine good feelings, for any length of time. But, it really isn’t as hard as we make it, we just have to practice a bit. We have to work on consciously cultivating these good feelings, and the more we do that, the more they will come naturally without any prompting or deliberate effort.
So, take a few minutes each day to practice feeling good. Do a bit of visualizing about the things you want—don’t worry about getting too specific, and don’t worry about not being able to create super-clear pictures in your mind. I am not that good at that actually, and a lot of my ‘visualizing’ feels a lot more like thinking than seeing an actual picture. The important thing is the feeling, because feeling is what creates, not what we are imagining exactly.
Work on ‘Surrendering’
Surrendering usually has a negative connotation around it. It is the act that occurs when we realize all our toil has been fruitless, and we can no longer continue as we were. We think of it as giving up, and letting go of whatever we were trying to accomplish, accepting our fate, and squashing any hope what we want can ever come.
But, that is not the only definition of surrender. There is a good way to surrender that can raise our vibration through the roof, and make manifesting easier than we ever thought it could be. We know the Universe has our back, and will deliver what we want in the easiest, most efficient way possible. Whatever obstacles pop up are there to help us solidify our vision, or show us where we have blocks.
We go with the flow, and don’t fight against the ‘unwanted’ situations that gravitate into our experience, big and small. We take inspired action, and just let it go—we don’t hold expectations about what will result. We resist taking action that makes us feel like crap because we know it isn’t necessary to get what we want. We see opportunities that appeal to us, we throw our hat in the ring, but don’t get attached. We cultivate trust. We feel okay no matter what happens because it will all work out as it should, we know we are moving towards what we want, no matter what. We don’t get attached to our manifestation having to look a certain way.
Now, I won’t lie..this can be a tough space to enter, and you probably won’t be in it every second—I imaging there are very few people who are! Your ‘humanness’ will take over at times, and that’s okay. You just want to work on getting into it as much as possible. When you see opportunities arise that allow you to invoke this sense of surrender, use them as practice…don’t worry, you’ll get plenty of it! It might be small things like being okay with the fact the supermarket is out of your favorite cookies, and happily buying a different brand.
When you first set this intention strongly, you may notice some ‘unwanted’ stuff happening, particularly things that represent your personal triggers. Don’t worry though, it is there to give you the chance to flex your ‘surrender muscle’ so you can make it stronger.
In Closing…
Taking responsibility for your vibration is crucial, and it is not as daunting a task as it may seem now. It just takes an intention to do so, paying more attention to your inner and outer world, and just working on feeling good as much as you can. Don’t panic about every negative thought and feeling–just work on building the momentum behind the good ones. That work doesn’t get erased every time you feel badly. Be patient and compassionate.
Make sure you gobble up everything you can about LOA that makes you feel good. You may still be feeling a bit skeptical, and tempted to read material ‘debunking it.’ I highly advise against this–there is a lot of misunderstanding about LOA and most of that material clearly reflects this. This is where you will see people saying things like “so if I can get whatever I think about, why can’t I turn this pizza into a salad, or why doesn’t the green elephant I’m visualizing appear?”
Many people see that bigger force beyond us as human-like, something that judges punishes, rewards, and decides what people will get, and what they won’t, and will indignantly inquire about what kid did to ‘attract ‘ (what they really mean here is ‘deserve’)cancer.
Looking at the bad stuff from an LOA-perspective involves a host of elements, such as the belief we choose to have certain experiences, and explore certain themes, in a particular incarnation, the vibration of humanity as a whole (which is raising but is still not that great), not having any idea what other people’s manifestations mean to them and how they are serving their particular path, or how many legs of the journey of life they have signed up for this time around. There is no arbitrary punishment, there is no randomness, everything means something. But I digress…..
Then there are just the people who are very sciencey, and refuse to believe in anything that can’t be proven in a test tube, and doesn’t make sense logically. Sure, there is no way to ‘prove’ LOA is real in the ways we typically regard proof. But, you can’t prove it isn’t real either, so no one has the upper hand here.
Again, lots of misunderstanding, and stuff that will just mess with your head, and keep you from tapping into an amazing force that performs all this awesomeness in a way we can never truly, fully understand, and it’s okay to not understand. Be okay with not understanding it. There is something to all of this, trust me.
Your Turn…
What did you think of the post? What tip was particularly helpful for you? Where are you struggling in protecting your vibration? What do you do in your own LOA work that you would recommend to someone looking to protect their own? Looking forward to your comments so we can have a chat.
“That work doesn’t get erased every time you feel badly.”
I’m so glad you said this! I was having an “off” day yesterday and I only made myself feel worse by thinking that I was “undoing” all of the positive work I’ve been doing. Thank you so much for this post Kelli. Once again, the Universe delivered exactly what I needed exactly when I needed it! I think I need to focus on surrendering, as that last section really resonated with me – well the whole post did, but that section in particular really stood out. I’m still not very stable with my vibration, but I try to remove myself from triggers whenever I have the opportunity. For instance, I work in close quarters with two other ladies – who like to complain A LOT. Fortunately, in my job, I have the option of putting on headphones and listening to music. Don’t get me wrong, I love these ladies. I’m in a small space with them everyday for several hours and we get along great, but just like most people, they let things get to them and instead of working on a solution, they choose to complain. Which I understand now, that there is nothing wrong with them, they are where they for a reason that I will probably never know anything about – but that doesn’t mean I have to listen to them or play along. 🙂
Hi Summer
Thanks so much for your comment and sharing your experience. I can relate to that situation. One office job I held awhile back was full of women who constantly complained about every facet of the work. We all have our days when things gets annoying, but it was to the point where I was like ..jeez, you people need to find new jobs!
I sometimes get that way too when I am not in as high of a vibration, but that momentum behind the good does not go away. One of the best illustrations is how people who seem to be working really hard on applying LOA and have their good moments but feel bad a lot and eventually give up, then have something great happen shortly after this ‘surrender’ A lot of the resistance went away and the good stuff got a chance to do its magic.
You are right..you don’t have to listen or play along. It is really easy to blame being around others and how they act on why we are the same. But there is always that choice to disengage.
Hi Kelli, this resonated strongly with me today! I am working towards manifesting financial prosperity but our current vibration is of financial stress. I feel a lot of it is out of my control because my husband makes the money and spends most of it too. Yesterday had a minor car accident and the insurance excess is way out of my comfort zone. I never have accidents and I feel quite mad at him for being so careless about it because that is money down the toilet while I am scrimping on other things. I have to see this as an obstacle to release resistance about money, that everything will be ok. When I breathe and release it all that stress goes away.
Hi Bunny
So glad you liked the post and I can relate to your financial worries. I had some pretty severe ones several years back–no income and living off credit cards, literally! Your sense of lack of control over the money situation is understandable if you are not the one bringing in income, and even though this can be REALLY hard to remember at times, especially when we are in a relationship and are sharing a life with another person, is no one else can ever ‘mess things up’ for us in terms of what we are trying to manifest in our own lives. It can only affect us in the sense we let this person’s actions, beliefs,etc..affect how we feel about something.
Everything that pops up is always an opportunity to fine tune our manifesting work, and it is good to ask yourself how this situation feels to you–pay close attention to whatever comes up–particularly memories of past situations, no matter how irrelevant they may seem– because it is all relevant to your current vibration and will help you pinpoint the exact feelings and beliefs you are holding.
You seem to be really good at taking responsibility for your feelings, adopting a good perspective, and consciously working towards raising your vibration–that alone puts you way ahead of the ‘LOA curve’ and often times, more frequent negative manifestations or ones that feel particularly powerful are a sign of energy moving and stuff being purged. There is a great opportunity here to do some real significant clearing and I think you will take full advantage of that.
Thanks Kelli! It’s good to know that the bigger the financial setback the better :oD Seriously though I have to remind myself that the big obstacles mean that energy is moving and blocks are coming up to be released. I did forget that for a couple of days and freaked out but I think I have centred myself again.
Hey Ally
I think we can all forget that in the moment! We could do without those types of situations for sure, but without them, we can’t see where we rae still a bit ‘stuck.’ It’s a good thing for them or else we may never figure it out!
I shared a part of your article on my Facebook page ‘Terezia Farkas’ at https://www.facebook.com/pages/Terezia-Farkas/217164098463560 I linked back to your site. Thanks Kelli! We need to hear about ways to stay positive during the holidays when people start feeling stressed, anxious and more depressed.
Hi Terezia
Thanks so much..so glad you liked it and wanted to share it with. You are right..this time of year can really be hard on a lot of people, and anything we can do to proactively protect our feelings and energy is a good use of our time.
Kelli,
I love the word “surrender”. It just makes you feel relaxed, just to say it! Haha, maybe that should be my mantra. I dig it.
I didn’t know you were so determined not to have kids. That’s interesting. You probably feel about kids the same way I feel about travel! =) I’d love to hear more about how you came to that conclusion. And good for you for avoiding the negativity in that group! There’s a lot of that floating around online, that’s for sure.
I love reading your posts. They always help me get perspective. Thanks!
Brittany
Hi
I never thought about it before, but yes, just saying it does invoke a nice feeling of relaxation. I am going to start saying it to myself more as a nice reminder, and instant relaxation tool.
Yeah, the kid thing is not really something I talk about much. As much as that decision has been a (probably THE) primary factor in living my life the way I do, it is not something I consider to be a core aspect of my identity. You are right about the online space being so full of negativity..that is what prompted me to give that example because for a lot of people, that is a primary source of connection with others, and we want to choose those forums, sites,etc..carefully.
I would be happy to talk about it if you are curious. You can shoot me an email with any questions you wanted to ask.
Hi Kelli
Another great post. You know, like I have already said to you before ‘We are connected’ Kelli, Ryan, your readers, and me. I say this because I was taken to you by the universe as I needed to hear/read clarity, honesty, and verification of what I already know in my gut feeling. There is no ‘BS’ in your work with everything being candid, open and dare I say human lol, and this suits and sits just fine with me, especially when you talk about having a bad day/bad feeling/or when some one pisses you off, if you will pardon the expression!!
I arise early every morning (it is just 3 am here now) and I greet the day with the way I came into this world completely ‘starkers’ (probably too much information LOL) look in a full length and have a good belly laugh. This is a new day, a beginning, a new world, and a fresh canvass. I proceed to wash and then meditate if even for only 10 or 15 minutes setting my intention to be happy and to have faith in my dreams coming into reality and I know they will. Of course the ‘dark clouds’ (this is what I term negativity in mind whether it comes from people or whatever) still arrive, but I have learned not to engage or as I say ‘I refuse to stick my head into that cloud. Instead, I stand back and observe what it is really, deal with it appropriately, and sent it on its way. Almost all of these are external problems that only concern me if I allow them, empower them and I refuse to be sucked in as you so eloquently put it. It certainly works for me Kelli!!!
However, enough of me and I am looking forward to you next post so see ya later Kelli.
Dominic
Hey Dominic
Thanks so much, so glad you liked it. Oh, I am certainly human and I am glad that comes across in my writing. It is easy to look at personal development people as having transcended all this ‘stuff’ and being past all the struggles. While I have come a long way, I still have hurdles to overcome. That is the great thing though..you can still make all these amazing changes, and gain so much wisdom, without being ‘perfect.’ It is just about learning to handle those ‘low’ moments better. I love that little ritual, I think that must be very powerful. Gaining a greater comfort with our body can be helpful on many levels, not just one of body image. You are a very wise person!
Hi Kelli
Thank you for your reply.
I forgot to mention about ‘Surrendering’ which was a great running thread throughout your post and my take on it is this – Surrendering is the dropping of all attachments and I mean ALL. This is difficult to achieve because we are programmed to be firmly attached to tangible and the intangible things in our lives. Think about it in your life or in my life or in any one’s life we are attached to things that are not allowing our total freedom, freedom to live our lives as we should be living. These could be family, friends, wealth, house, car, and even life itself because we are trained programmed to depend on these for our happiness. But happiness is within and cannot be found in the exterior. These are the blockages and barriers to everything including the law of attraction so as you so truthfully said in your excellent post, surrendering is not giving in but the positive dropping of all attachments. Now to be clear on this I am not saying that you give away your family, house, wealth etc ect but do not depend on these for your happiness BUT if you could be happy for the rest of your life by giving away all of these, would or could you do it?
Kelli I know this is very deep but something to be considered by everyone! What do you think?
Love
Dominic
Hi Kelli,
This s purely great.In life one has to take steps that will help him.Not everything will always go on with our expectations.People do actually mistake the word surrender.It doesn’t really mean you are leaving something because you are unable to accomplish.It simple words,it is what i can describe as two steps ahead and one step behind a way to go.Thank your for sharing this wonderful ideas.
Hi Edwin
Thanks so much for your comment and I am glad you liked the post. Glad you resonated with that idea of surrender..it can really help things go more smoothly!
This is such a nice post, Kelli…you write so beautifully! Something that resonates with me is the idea that bad thoughts (or better said-thoughts that don’t serve us) are normal and happen every day, but the best thing I am finding is that as I retrain my mind I can catch them quickly and shift it around to a better feeling thought and as long as you catch it quickly, it gathers no momentum. That is very empowering! I also like the ideas of feeling your way through the day…if you catch yourself feeling less than happy, just change your focus. We all just really and truly want to feel good, but get caught up in thinking “if we had this” or “if we got out of this situation” we would find happiness. I’m finally realizing, that with practice and effort, feeling good can just happen without anything special. Maybe this is a little bit of me surrendering? Either way, it’s nice to finally be getting to this mind frame and it makes me excited to see how the manifestations may unfold, whatever they may be. I really have been enjoying your blog! 🙂
Hey Abby
Thank you, I am glad you find the writing pleasing–that is always nice to hear. I like how you said’ retrain’ because essentially that is what we are doing. Positive focus can certainly take some practice, and the more we work that muscle, the stronger it gets. It really is all about consciously making that switch, realizing we have a choice. It is really easy to justify why we feel badly, and we will all have our moments of course. But, ultimately, it all comes down to a decision. That decision to feel happy just because is certainly a part of surrender, and an absolutely crucial part of LOA, so you are definitely on the right track!
I liked what you said about surrender. I call that trust and it is one of my biggest issues. But I figured that trust was like a muscle, that is I exercised it, it would grow. Right now I am only at about 5 seconds! (Ha ha, up from 3.) But when I first wake up, I walk outside to greet the sun and breathe and I put my hand on my heart (to help the exercise) and try to simply feel the trust fully for a few seconds. I know seconds may not seem like much to some, but it’s where I have to start, and I am willing to do it :).
Hey Jennifer
That is one of mine too..probably most people’s when it comes to really applying LOA in particular. Our mind is really good at seeing the future and unknown as a scary and hostile place where all sorts of things we don’t want may happen to us. But, good things can happen just as easily. You know what..five seconds is actually really good! It is all cumulative, and even just a few seconds of sustained positive feeling like that, is really powerful to shift energy. That you are okay with it being incremental will certainly work to your benefit–our all or nothing approach and wanting drastic change immediately tends to get in the way quite a bit.
It’s funny that you wrote this post because I always thought about this. Like once you’ve achieved it how do you stop something or someone from throwing you off.
“…it doesn’t matter how positive a thought if the feeling isn’t truly there.” So true, because if you don’t believe it no one else will, including the universe. You just can’t fake that.
I like your tip about not sharing your dreams with people who will make you feel like you can’t have them. A lot of the time people cast off their fears and one sided beliefs on to others. If they think something can’t be done or can only be achieved one way, they have a way of making you seem crazy if you think differently. A simple conversation with someone like that could definitely knock you off your game. I learned that the hard way, but it’s okay because I learned that I don’t need their approval.
~Lea
Hey Lea
Thanks so much for your comment and sharing your thoughts. You put it perfectly–we can’t fake it. And that is what many people do when they engage in ‘positive thinking.’ But, the energy is completely different, and that is where creation is at. I’m glad that tip resonated with you. It is super-important. I don’t think we fully realize the effect other people have on our feelings, but once we start becoming more aware of what is happening inside, we become much more cognizant of what is influencing our feelings, and we come to see other people are a huge part of that.
Surrendering is an AMAZING thing. Some Kelli gal is pretty good at it, and even coaches me to surrender, offline. At times, I may offer the same advice to folks who live within 3 to 10 meters from me…..all at certain times of course 😉
Love this! If you let go and cede at least some expectations you’ll protect your vibe so well, because you won’t even *need* to protect it. You’ll not take yourself or the illusions of negative feedback, or rejection, personally, and you’ll be golden.
Then in those moments when really sharp expectations arise, you’ll get pissed and worried and angry when things don’t align how you wanted them to align, then, back to surrendering, and being in the moment, and your vibe is clean again.
Surrendering is where it’s at, and it has little to do with giving up, and more to do with giving, without looking for any one thing, or giving, without heavy expectations on any outcomes. Then you’re light, calm and confident, and pretty much immune from most stuff that happens in your day, that could screw your vibe up….and when surrendering, you’ll also follow each of your tips to a T.
Thanks KC! Smart insight and LOA wisdom as always 😉
Ryan
This is for you Ryan also and I would love to hear your comments please?
Hi Kelli
Thank you for your reply.
I forgot to mention about ‘Surrendering’ which was a great running thread throughout your post and my take on it is this – Surrendering is the dropping of all attachments and I mean ALL. This is difficult to achieve because we are programmed to be firmly attached to tangible and the intangible things in our lives. Think about it in your life or in my life or in any one’s life we are attached to things that are not allowing our total freedom, freedom to live our lives as we should be living. These could be family, friends, wealth, house, car, and even life itself because we are trained programmed to depend on these for our happiness. But happiness is within and cannot be found in the exterior. These are the blockages and barriers to everything including the law of attraction so as you so truthfully said in your excellent post, surrendering is not giving in but the positive dropping of all attachments. Now to be clear on this I am not saying that you give away your family, house, wealth etc ect but do not depend on these for your happiness BUT if you could be happy for the rest of your life by giving away all of these, would or could you do it?
Kelli I know this is very deep but something to be considered by everyone! What do you think?
Love
Dominic
Hey Dominic
I loved reading this so much. You are absolutely right about nothing outside of us ever being able to make us happy, try as we might. Any boost we do get is usually temporary. Ryan and I were having a discussion about this type of stuff the other day. One of the things that we were saying was that anyone who achieved some sort of ‘perfect vibration’ would probably cease to want any of the stuff they wanted. As long as we are living a ‘worldly’ life we will probably continue to want things, and feel some degree of attachment to acquiring them, even something intangible, like a sense of purpose. I have no doubt someone could be happy without any of those things but most of us–myself included–could probably never reach that level of enlightenment without withdrawing from ‘regular’ life. I have found though in my travels, for example, that owning fewer things has been a very freeing experience, and has made me lose interest (which was never that strong to begin with, but certainly there) in buying things. I wouldn’t have anywhere to keep them anyway, but the actual urge has diminished greatly. I have also found that as I am living more in line with my passions, and working on my inner world, many things I thought I would need to make me happy are not necessary at all. I always thought I needed a lot of money to be happy, and when I went from struggling financially to a much better position financially, I certainly experienced greater peace because my money worries went away, but I certainly wasn’t truly happier. It was very interesting to witness what happened with that and the insights.