Law of Attraction: Manifesting Things To Which We Are Really Attached

Could you help in maybe enlightening us all about how to make a desire that has existed for so long and you are so attached to as easy to manifest as something you just want in the moment. How does one deal with the attachment that has festered over a long period of one’s life and how to really deal with desires as deep rooted as these? If you chose to answer this question, thank you so much. It would mean a lot.

Manifesting is Not an Action

This is a really good question, and I think it speaks to a lot of misconceptions and misunderstandings we have about the law of attraction. It was asked ‘how’ to ‘make’ something we want manifest as easily as things we may not really care too much about, aren’t a big deal, to which we are not very attached.

The wording of the question illustrates how we tend to view manifesting as something we ‘do,’ something that takes place on the level of action. We focus on finding all the right tools and techniques that will get us what we want. Because we view it as an ‘action’ we think there is a right and wrong way to do it, something that needs to be mastered, figured out.

And if things aren’t changing, then we must be doing something ‘wrong.’ And now we feel even worse, even more anxious, because not only are we dealing with all the ‘ick’ that comes from not having the things we want, we are also worrying that we are ‘failing’ and we’ll never get these things.

That hope being crushed often causes more pain than when we just thought this or that probably was never gonna happen for us, and while we were unhappy, we largely accepted our fate.

The mechanics of manifesting are the same no matter the ‘thing.’ It isn’t easier to manifest one thing over another. The difficulties we face are all us, through and through.

We are really attached to something happening; we get attached to channels and outcomes; we may not truly believe something is possible, no matter how much we may want to; we stubbornly refuse to stop letting our feelings be dictated by our circumstances; we aren’t open to the possibilities; we try to control everything;we are rigid; we don’t take responsibility for our lives and energy; we don’t actually live by the principles, continuing to let fear drive our decisions, actions and behaviors.

I could go on, but I think you get the picture. All of those issues are internal, of the realm of thoughts and feelings. What shows up in our life is the result of what we are ‘being.’

Our life is a product of what we think, what we feel, what we believe, how we respond to the situations in our lives, etc…

If you seem to have trouble manifesting in certain areas of life, things you are really attached to happening, you’re not doing anything wrong.

There is just more resistance there than for other things that seem to show up more easily. I know that isn’t a satisfying answer to our action-loving minds, who just wants to find a way to ‘fix’ everything, who just wants that set of steps or some guideline. That’s it though, nothing more. It really is that simple.

But we are talking about energy here, and that’s a whole different game. A much easier, pleasant, fun game once we start really working out the kinks in our energy.

So in order to make the bigger things as easy to manifest as the smaller things, we need to break down the resistance, and the first step is getting a closer look at its exact nature.

Why We Typically Want What We Want

For the most part, and especially for people who are drawn to a teaching like the law of attraction, a sense of ‘need’ typically informs our desires. We feel very unhappy without something, and we believe we can only be happy if it shows up.

We are more in ‘fix it’ mode, trying to reduce pain, rather than increase our happiness,  plug into the ‘flow of life,’ and let the awesomeness wash over us.

Then we stumble upon a concept like conscious creation, and we believe what we want is actually possible.

The pain will finally go away. This problem or that problem will finally be solved. I’ll no longer feel mad, sad, angry, depressed, resentful,bitter, fearful, doubtful, unfulfilled, bored, agitated, irritated, lonely, anxious, disrespected, pitied, judged, criticized, restricted, embarrassed, shameful, guilty,lost,unloved, and on and on and on.

We’re typically beginning this journey with an intense resistance to our current circumstances, and as you all know, this can make for one painful ride. We view the manifestation as the answer to all our emotional woes, so naturally attachment will run extremely high.

Being relaxed about a manifestation is really hard if we think we ‘need’ it, if our happiness is dependent on it.

Our feelings show us how we are focusing, and if we are feeling badly, we are very focused on what we don’t like, what we don’t want. We are in the energy of the problem, not the solution.

We are in the energy of the unwanted, not the wanted. We are letting our feelings be dictated by our circumstances, we are operating with the old programming.

While our mind seems to think differently, not liking where we are now, desperately wanting something, is not conducive to receiving it. The Universe can only respond to our energy, it can’t defy it.

Remember, we attract what we ‘are’ not what we want.

The more attachment we feel to something happening, the ‘kinkier’ our energy is, the more ‘negativity’ there is we are counting on the manifestation to resolve.

So, in order to let something in more easily, we have to get an idea of where this attachment is stemming from; why do we want this thing so badly? What is creating this sense of ‘need?’

What’s the Story?

Everything comes down to feelings, always, no exceptions ever. We like things that make us feel good, we don’t like things that make us feel badly.

You want what you want because you think having it would make you feel good. You are resisting your current reality, and potential future outcomes, because these situations create feelings you don’t like.

There is some meaning being assigned to your circumstances now that feels badly to you. There is a story about being single, struggling in your business, not having money, being overweight, being in a job you don’t like, that feels super-shitty for one reason or another.

It says something about you as a person that pains you; it makes you believe things that feel really crappy to believe, about yourself or life in general.

So, what’s the story your mind has assigned?

Does your struggling business mean you are a failure? You are stupid? You must not be good at what you do? You’re not cut out for the entrepreneur life? Your abusive father was right about you being useless? Does it make you feel shame or embarrassment? Your last three businesses failed, so this one probably will too?

Does being single mean there is something inherently unlovable about you? There is something wrong with you? You are unattractive? You are too much of ‘X’ or not enough of ‘Y?’ You are scarred by your parents’ abusive marriage or a betrayal by an ex, and you’ll never be able to have a normal relationship? You worry you are too old to find love? People like ‘you’ can’t have healthy, loving relationships?

If you can change this story, and manifest what you want from a ‘cleaner’ space, it will be much easier to begin aligning with it. And you get what you truly want right out the gate–which is to feel better.

How you change this story you ask? Well, it’s pretty simple. You just decide the current version isn’t true. Your mind assigned this meaning to the circumstances of your life based on some messed-up lines of thinking, and no experience has any inherent, objective meaning.

You get to decide what your past experiences mean; you get to decide whatever you are struggling with now doesn’t mean any of the things you have decided it means–it’s just vibrational feedback.

What Are You Holding the Manifestation Responsible For?

Again, we typically want what we want because we view it as a solution to a problem, to taking away negative feelings (which we would basically rather die than deal with.). This thing not happening spells bad news all around for us, and that just can’t be. We don’t just want it, we need it.

So, what are you holding the manifestation responsible for?

Do you need it to ‘disprove’ something you think about yourself that feels really badly? Do you need it to ‘prove’ something to someone else?

Do you think the only way you can get a boyfriend or better job is if you lose weight?

Is getting more money the only way you could possibly ever enjoy your life or consider yourself a success?

Much of the time, many of the things we want are seen to our mind as a necessary condition for manifesting something else–without A, B can’t happen. So there is a lot riding on this working out for us.

Technically, we could say this conditional nature is true about any manifestation–with ‘B’  always representing happiness.

And again, the more we feel like we ‘need’ something, the more we repel it. When we feel ‘need’ we are focusing on lack, we are still in the energy that created what we are now trying to change.

The manifestation is not the answer, as much as it seems it would be, so are you willing to let it off the hook?

The Delicate Balance You Must Strike

I really like to focus on the differences between the theory and reality of manifesting because understanding these differences is very, very helpful.

One of things theory doesn’t take into account is how much we tend to think about what we want, and the icky space from which we are wanting it.

In a perfect world, we decide  what we want, do some positive focusing, and go on with our life knowing the order has been placed, as confident we will receive it as if we are waiting for food ordered in a restaurant.

We have total trust and faith. We take actions that feel inspired, but other than that, we just keep that vibe high. When we do happen to think about what we want, the thoughts are encased in a cocoon of positive energy.

In the ‘real’ world however, this is usually not what is happening. We don’t have that trust. We do think about this thing quite a bit, and not in a good way–there is fear, doubt, attachment, worry. We can’t just go and live our life, enjoying the moment.

All that energy is going to undermine any positivity we may manage to build when doing our morning affirmations, writing in our gratitude journal or whatever your tools of choice.

So if we are thinking about what we want a lot, we’ll usually have to do some work in practicing thinking about it in a LOA-friendly way. We have to consciously engage our energy, and activate that positive energy.

But we don’t want to go overboard there. We want to be aware of how we are predominantly thinking and feeling around these subjects, but not obsessing. We don’t want to feel pressure to be thinking about these things in some super-high energy way all the time.

We want to do our best to just go on with our life without always thinking about this thing, without ‘trying’ to manifest it.

Unfortunately, I don’t have any sort of blueprint or flow chart to help strike this balance…that is something you will figure out for yourself.

You’ll get a better sense of when you should focus specifically and do things to activate energy or when you should just do something else. You’ll get a good sense of how much time you want to spend doing your energetic ‘work.’

Two Important Questions To Ask Yourself

Are you willing to look beyond your current circumstances, to feel better now?

As a fellow human, I get all the challenges of doing this work. I know it can be hard to feel better now when there are things we really want to happen, things whose lack cause us sadness, anger, fear and all those other super-fun emotions.

But if the energy comes first, and then the manifestation, we realize this is not optional. We can’t manifest what we want when we are constantly focused on, and fighting against, what we don’t.

We can’t really be ‘successful’ with this teaching if we hold onto the childish insistence we won’t change our tune emotionally until something happens about which to feel good, if we keep using our current unwanted circumstances as justification for feeling badly and holding onto beliefs we know aren’t helpful.

This willingness to feel better is just that…better, at least to start. You don’t have to shoot for unbridled joy, elation or bliss.

For many of us, if we answered this question with total and complete honesty, we would probably say ‘no.’ No, we really aren’t willing to do this.

That’s fine…we can do whatever we want. But if that’s the case, changing your life by way of conscious energy management will be extremely difficult. No tool or technique will have the power to override this. Every once in awhile you might get lucky, but there will be no consistency.

Question number two:

Are you willing to keep working through the resistance?

The more we want something, feel we ‘need’ it, the harder we ‘try’ to manifest it, the more ‘ick’ there is driving the desire, which means there is more resistance to work through.

If we have been struggling with something for a really long time, we likely haven’t changed our beliefs very much–at least as they relate to this subject specifically–and that is some more resistance to work through.

If we are looking to get what we want in this easier way of energetic alignment, we need to shed all that keeps us out of it. We need to root out the energy that is perpetuating what we don’t want.

This isn’t always fun, though it doesn’t have to be some exercise in torture. It’s not always easy, but it doesn’t have to be super difficult.

You don’t need to root out every kink in your vibe to align with something–we just need to make the ‘good’ energy dominant. We don’t have to be constantly mining our vibration, devoting hours a day to analyzing our thoughts and feelings.

But we do have to have an awareness of our energy,  how we are feeling overall, and if we recognize that energy is not conducive to allowing in the money, the relationship or whatever else, we have to see what’s there. We have to be aware of what is coming up for us when we think about these things.

And like the previous question, many answering honestly would say ‘no’ they aren’t willing to do this. Again, that’s fine, but aligning with a new reality by way of energy transformation will be a very uphill battle.

Now, you can get many of the things you want without working on resistance, doing any sort of energy ‘work.’ People do it all time, but it is often unpleasant, inefficient and much harder than it has to be. It tends not to allow us the best versions of what we want.

You can work really, really hard to get clients and sales; you can find a job that pays a lot of money, even though you may hate it; you can develop some crazy diet and exercise plan that gets the weight off, but consumes your life; you can land a husband or a boyfriend, who you know in your heart isn’t the best match but ensures you won’t be alone.

While most of us aren’t exactly jumping at the chance to dive into our shit, it’s not as bad as we tend to think it is; whatever pain we may feel from doing this is kind of worth it when you think about the rewards.

Don’t you want to attract clients rather than bust your ass to find them?

Don’t you want to earn lots of money doing something you love rather than something you hate?

Don’t you want to get at the energetic roots of your weight issue rather than plow through diet after diet, exercise after exercise, supplement after supplement?

Don’t you want to attract your perfect match rather than someone who is ‘good enough?

Don’t be afraid to be honest with yourself and if you find the answers are a ‘no’ explore that and see why.

Make Peace

If you are really attached to something happening, it means there is a lot of ‘stuff’ there; you might not work through it all in a weekend.

You want to keep in mind things can change in a moment, yet realize you might have to be a bit patient since you really aren’t in alignment, and you have to honor where you are now.

After having intense attachment to something for a very long time, you might not just transition right to total detachment, realizing it was never what you really wanted in the first place.

Make peace with all this, and that alone will break down a lot of resistance that gets kicked up when we are impatient, when we ‘try’ even harder to align our energy by doing even more affirmations or whatever else, when we realize our energy is out of whack and we feel a lot of pressure to make these huge leaps in our energy.

You have resistance, you have attachment, you have doubt, you have fear, you have lack of faith, you have lack of trust, you don’t want to cede control, you want to know ‘how.’ It’s okay it’s there; it’s understandable it’s there. You just have to be willing to let it go, to no longer fight for it.

If you remember you feel badly not because you don’t have this ‘thing’ but because of the meaning, the story, attached to its absence, you won’t feel such a sense of urgency and attachment. You can relax a bit.

Your Turn

What did you think of the post? Anything resonate in particular? Any advice you would give? Looking forward to your comments as always.

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