Feeling like you could just punch someone in the face? Wishing you could hit the reset button on your day? Just feeling a bit blah? Woke up and found yourself in a bad mood before you even lifted your head from the pillow?
We can’t be happy all the time; the list of things that can sour our day is infinite. Sometimes, everything just seems to go wrong all at once, and your day is filled with nothing but problems and strife.
As someone who can be quite moody at times, and whose mood can change at the drop of a hat, I developed a great interest in tackling this issue. Here are some of the suggestions I find most helpful in my own life, and I hope they will be of use to you as well.
Be Okay with the Negative Feelings
Feeling better when we are feeling kind of crappy actually doesn’t require us to directly address the issue at hand, or try and ‘fix’ anything. Of course, we want to do what we can. But, if I had to name my number one mood-boosting tool, it would definitely be acceptance of my current state.
You see, we don’t like feeling badly, and the sheer presence of negative emotions triggers even more emotional upset. We feel a great deal of resistance to our current state, and this only intensifies everything and makes us feel even worse.
When we accept, we feel less emotionally invested in our bad mood—it just is what it is; we know it will pass and we just sit with it. We still may feel like crap, but it is more manageable.
Turn to Gratitude
This can be a tough one ,but works wonders. It is hard because we are so caught up in what is making us feel unhappy, and we feel so justified in our anger, annoyance or what have you, the suggestion to take our attention off of that, and turn it to something good, can really rub us the wrong way.
I myself, can get mad about really stupid things, and Ryan, who is oh-so-wise and calm almost every second of the day, always reminds me of this little tool. And in my state of agitation, I just want to smack him—love you honey 🙂 But, I know he is right. And, when I can pull myself away from my problems enough to focus on the good in my life, I do feel better almost instantly.
Take a Quick Meditation Break
When we are not in the best of moods, we can get really absorbed in a negative train of thought, which just feeds that gross energy even more. It might be obsessing over something someone did that made you mad, an imaginary conversation with someone you are pissed off with, envisioning all the worst-case scenarios of a particular issue you are dealing with in the moment, or a million other things.
When I find myself engaging in this bad-mood-perpetuating behavior, I find a quick meditation break to be very helpful. It eases the tension in my body, puts me back in control of my thoughts (at least to some degree!), and makes me feel more refreshed mentally, which leaves me better equipped to deal with my feelings.
Don’t Take Yourself So Seriously
One of the biggest benefits I have gained from all my ‘self-improvement’ work is becoming more aware of my thoughts and feelings. This awareness reaps countless benefits, with one of the most powerful being the ability to recognize when we are being a tad dramatic and taking ourselves too seriously.
Sometimes I am so in tune, I realize my level of ridiculousness before I have even finished my complaint-filled sentence. I then have a good laugh at myself, and usually let the issue go relatively quickly. Sometimes it takes a bit longer, but I almost always recognize this tendency.
When you find yourself in a bad mood, take a moment to really think about what is bothering you. Is it really something that serious or deserves such indignation? Are you maybe blowing things out of proportion? What is the real impact of the problem at hand?
Hey, sometimes we just feel like being mad—we have some pent up emotions and they can release themselves through a bad mood. If you feel like feeling like crap for a bit, go for it. But, when your ego is the main driver of your emotions (which I guess it always is, but you know what I mean here), learning to recognize that, and choosing to ease up a bit is never a bad idea.
A perfect example is being angry because of something your husband did, and continuing to be mad even though you have pretty much gotten over the ‘incident’, out of some sense of wanting to punish the other person. But guess who else you are punishing in the process?
Step Away from What Isn’t Necessary
When we are not feeling so hot, sometimes the best thing we can do is step away from activities that are just compounding our bad feelings. Now, I get there are sometimes you can’t just say screw it. If you are working a tight deadline for a project at work, I imagine telling your boss you can’t get the job done because you need a little ‘me time’ to recharge your batteries will not go over too well.
But, when it comes to the stuff that truly doesn’t need to be tended to at this very moment, let it go for now, and just veg out or do something else that makes you feel better. This could be a tough one sometimes, because our definition of ‘necessary’ can be a bit screwy, and we think we must do certain things , that when we really break the situation down, don’t actually need to be done right this moment or at any point during the day.
The Power of Perspective
While it doesn’t always feel like it when we are in the thick of feeling shitty, we have this amazing tool at our disposal every second of every day, and that life-changing tool is perspective. We can always choose how to view our situation—sometimes we don’t choose wisely, and that’s okay. No one’s perfect. But, if we can embed this idea deeper into our awareness, we will remember to exercise it more often, rather than getting completely absorbed in our bad feelings.
I travel a lot, and as awesome as it is, it can be a giant pain in the ass sometimes. But, if I relayed to you some of the things that I get mad about, you would probably want to reach out through cyberspace and punch me right in the face.
I realize that if my biggest problems on a given day is an inaccurate bus schedule that delays my arrival to one of the most beautiful spots in Costa Rica, or being perturbed the ‘luxury’ overnight bus I booked in Thailand doesn’t even provide blankets (I know..inexcusable! ), I don’t have it so bad.
Engage in a Happy Distraction
I am a big fan of the happy distraction—the little things that bring you some kind of joy, and help you focus your energy on things that make you happy. Being a travel addict, going on AirBNB and looking at houses for rent in various locations I would like to visit is one of my favorites, and always lifts my spirits. It sparks that excitement I have for travel, and gets the wheels turning on possible future trips, because as any travel junkie knows, we are always looking ahead no matter where we are right now, and how much we love it.
So, think about a list of your own happy distractions and whip those puppies out anytime you want to battle a bad mood.
Just Go to Sleep
This one may not always be an option, but by god, when it is, use it! When feeling like crap take a nap is one of my mantras I live by; in fact, I just got up from one a few minutes before finishing this post. Had a rough night’s sleep. Wasn’t exactly in a bad mood, but not feeling great.
Felt a bit of pressure to keep doing my work, but I employed that previous nugget of wisdom, and walked away from it because I was having trouble concentrating, and it did not need to be done that very second.
Sleep can have a magical effect on our mood, just as if we were giant toddlers. It’s the same for us as it is for a cranky little kid. It resets something. My perspective is almost always better upon waking.
So, there you have it. My top tips for getting back to your happy and shiny self!
Great article and really on point for my day. It’s funny how much little things like the weather can affect mood. The last few days were cloudy and cold here, and I was noticing myself needing to eat a lot more dark chocolate, and not feeling like doing much. Then last night it rained and today the sun is out, so of course, I’m full of energy and life seems so sweet I laugh for no reason.
May sound good, but really it shows that I’m letting myself be yanked around by my outer circumstances. Though the chocolate was at least a proactive step, as well as walking the dog and playing with her, I’m still in the process of learning to source my mood entirely within myself. Circumstances will always change, but I like to try to spend as much time as possible identified with that part of myself that is eternal.
Thanks for this article. I like many of the points you make, especially about learning to go easy on oneself when despite all the other tools and techniques at our disposal, our mood just stays funky for a period of time, and that’s where we are in our journey right now. Wait a minute, and it will change again.
Hello
Thanks so much for your thoughtful comment–so glad you found the post helpful. Isn’t it interesting we always find certain pieces of information right when we need them? Like you, weather and other seemingly small things do affect my mood greatly–I think sometimes people close to me think I’m being dramatic but I have always been ‘sensitive’ in various ways. We all have our moments of dealing with it ‘unproductively’ but in many ways, these techniques are quite productive if they provide some sort of comfort in the moment. I definitely have my days of vegging out, wanting to do nothing but watch TV,etc…Sometimes those outer circumstances can be hard to ignore, unless we are spiritual masters I suppose. Working on it 🙂 That self-compassion is so important. Sometimes when I feel myself getting overly critical, I stop and think how I would react if this was a friend telling me she was experiencing this, and I always realize I would never view it in the same way. That always helps me.
Hi KC,
All golden nuggets, and you have taught me NOT to take myself so seriously, a problem I had for most of my life. You’re always quick to laugh at yourself over anything and that is a real gift, and a precious one, that I’ve learned to apply.
I spent some of my time around folks who took themselves seriously growing up. People who were offended, or angry, or embarrassed, if they did things that felt funny or silly, of if other people tried to make fun of them. This created some serious-feeling, bad, angry vibes in me.
After getting sick of being so darn serious I learned to laugh at myself when the guy at the barber shop said I was due for an eye-brow threading, and motioned to my uni-brow, saying he’d need a machete to work it at this point.
I laugh when I stumble while walking down the street, or when I’m having a tough time with exchange rates, and my brain freezes when I’m digging for cash – remember Hanoi (not a war reference) – and I’ve learned to laugh instead of getting angry or agitated or feeling humiliated in all types of situations.
As for you, you may get a bit agitated here and there, and that Ryan guy may help you feel calm, and light, because he feels calm most of the time, but it’s you who helped instill the calm in peace in that Ryan guy, too.
Awesome share here.
Tweeting in a bit.
RB
I’m glad to know I have helped you take yourself less seriously—I always feel like I am learning from you, but I’m not imparting as much wisdom 🙂
Great article with a lot of simple, but effective thoughts. There are some days when we wake up OFF and need to get back ON. Thanks for sharing! I think that accepting not being in a great mood / self-patience are huge. It’s ok not to be 100% happy, and we don’t need to make it worse by being self-critical. If you allow it to, it will pass.
A big one for me is reflection and saying Thank You. Saying thanks to the universe for what I have and taking stock + perspective of my situation helps me realize wow, I really do have it well, I’m healthy, I have a home, food, water, and modern conveniances. This is even more poignant with so much fighting & so many refugees worldwide at this moment.
Great post and am happy I found your blog. Looks like you’ve been a lot of great places. I currently live in Santiago, Chile and have a strong desire to at least visit Costa Rica, if not live there. Thanks again for sharing your thoughts, take care and have an amazing day!!
Hi Zachary
Thanks for stopping by. So glad you liked the post and found it helpful for you. The acceptance has been a big one for me–that resistance to the ‘bad’ is a major source of our angst. I love your two biggest go-to strategies. Being grateful really does change your perspective. Like you said, there are so many things happening in the world where people are truly suffering, and to realize how good we have it can definitely make step back and rethink our own situation. I have only been to Peru and Ecuador in S. America but plan on seeing the rest one day soon. I highly recommend Costa Rica..we loved it there so much. Never saw so much wildlife on a consistent basis as I did there.
Hi Kelli
Another FAB post with oodles of advice Bravo
I think that you have infiltrated into my thought patterns LOL because this morning I woke up feckless with apathy and did not want to engage with the day. However I went to my PC to just look and behold a post from my virtual friend Kelli Cooper stating exactly what I needed to read.
Just a few things I have learned on my journey which I will share with you and your readers
Well as you know or expect by now I investigate everything that affects me and one thing that I have learned is that we all have a bio-rhythm cycle and when they are peaking we cannot do anything wrong BUT went they are in the nether regions we cannot do anything correct. It is referred to as ‘He got out of the wrong side of bed this morning’ Grumpy, narrow thought, frustration, things falling out of your hand etc; and this may be the explanation for all of this.
I agree with all of your advice but if you will allow me to tell my own remedy for every day when I awaken and no matter how I am feeling – I open the blinds and look at the beautiful world and give thanks for all but especially for me. I stand in front of a full length mirror completely naked and again give thanks and then have a great laugh out loud about everything concerning me. Believe me Kelli and other readers, this works great and in many aspects of life for there is no hiding place, this is you so accept and love your self body and soul.
Then after I wash, dress, I light a candle for everyone who is in pain in any way and give thanks that I do not have their particular pain. After this I make coffee and sit down at my PC and if the inspiration comes I write for a long as I am motivated.
What a wonderful abundant life I live with everything that I need and what I want I have visualised and manifested in my heart, soul, mind, and I know it is coming because the train has already left the station.
Eagerly awaiting your next post Kelli
Dominic
Hey Dominic
Nice to ‘see’ you again! So glad you liked the post, and I was able to brighten up your day a bit and shift your mood. Thank you so much for sharing your ritual with me. I absolutely love that. The part about not wearing any clothes is great for a couple of reasons-being more comfortable with our bodies is always a good thing, and I imagine it is hard to get all worked up about little things that bother us when we are in that state–we can take ourselves a little less seriously. Getting your day off in a good mental space is so important, particularly for the attraction process, and I think your routine is wonderful!
Hello KC. Brilliant. I love what you shared here. Sleeping indeed is a great way to give our brain and whole body the fastest relief against a bad mood. I also believe that these ways need practice so that it will become our habit always live with a wonderful and positive mood.
Hi Victorino
Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to comment. I am so glad you liked the article. Sleeping really is a good one isn’t it? Sometimes it is not feasible in the moment, but when it is, the best solution. Many people may be resistant to it because it may strike them as being ‘lazy’ but it just gives us a fresh start. Yes, lots of practice is involved–we have a lot of habits that get in the way of more effective behaviors but over time, it can get easier.