Challenges as a Springboard to Positive Change: 3 Lessons from My Own Transformation

We all know how that story goes..hard times make us grow, present opportunities, and all that jazz. But, when we are actually in the thick of it, this wisdom can easily be lost. We don’t feel much like growing, and all the crap we are going through, certainly doesn’t feel like the gift we are told it is. We would happily return it to sender if we could.

But, cliches are such for a reason..they are true through and through. I have seen this truth play out in my own life countless times. Where I am today is a direct result of myriad shitty things happening to me.

My father dying rocked me to the core, and accelerated my personal growth journey by light years.

Severe financial pressures resulting from a swift loss of income, is what really pushed my work with law of attraction to a new level. And ever since then, I have just been gaining a deeper understanding and living from a place of power and deliberateness—is that a word?

Frequently experiencing depression and anxiety really lit a fire under my ass to find ways to deal with them, and achieve greater peace and happiness in my life.

It all comes down to making a deliberate choice to let the lessons in, to allow ourselves to be transformed by the sucky stuff, rather than letting it keep us down, and using it as an excuse as to why we are unhappy or can’t have the things we want.

I made that deliberate choice, and it worked out quite well for me.

I forged a successful freelance writing career that allowed me to work on my own time and my own terms.

This mobile source of income made it possible to live my dream of traveling whenever I want for as long as I want..and I have been ‘on the road’ since May 2011 with my husband Ryan.

I have been writing this blog for almost a year now, and hearing how it helps so many people means more to me than I can express in words.

Now, I have started doing coaching, which is the one thing I had always wanted to do. Contact me for a free consultation to see how I can help you..shameless plug, couldn’t help it.

I sit here penning this post from Bali, where I am doing a house sit for at least the next four months. These people certainly aren’t hurting for money, I’ll tell you that. And all I have to do to lap up all this luxury is take care of some cats and dogs.

Am I telling you all of this because I am super-insecure, and it will make me feel better to know I am making people all green with envy? Absolutely not..that really isn’t how I roll. I am telling you this because I want to show you what I was able to create by not getting all mired in the crap, but rather, working my way through it, and taking responsibility for my life.

I have said this before, but I have to say it again..if someone had told me years ago, this would be my life, I really would not have believed it for even one second. This wasn’t because my existence was so terrible..it was pretty run of the mill. But, my mindset at that time was such that I could not entertain these possibilities in any capacity.

The Chance to Clear Out a Lot of Crap that Would Have Went Unexamined

In an effort to protect us, our mind gets really good at keeping us from examining too deeply the stew of unpleasantness that is residing within. We know what is going on to some degree; we are pretty well aware of the issues that are getting in the way, but as for facing things head on full bore..not so much.

It thinks we can’t handle it, so it does all it can to distract us. We get really good at denying, rationalizing and all that good stuff. And it serves us to some degree. But, ultimately, it’s holding us back from really stepping into our power, clearing out the muck, and gaining clarity about who we are and what we want.

But, when we find ourselves in a situation that is really sucking, there is an opportunity to really dig in and see what is happening. You are in a lower place emotionally, and this can open up the floodgates. The catch is, we have to be willing to go along for the ride. We have to allow the emotion to flow.

We have to find the courage to feel it and face it. We have to be willing to be honest about how we really feel about ourselves and the life we have created thus far.

Nothing will bring you to this place like grief. For me, my father dying is what allowed me to do this emotional inventory in a real way. Grief is a very powerful emotion, and it started to unlock all sorts of others that I had been feeling, but not really feeling. I stuck around to see what happened, and while it certainly was uncomfortable, it was powerful in a way I can’t describe.

We really can’t move forward unless we face what has been holding us back. This doesn’t mean totally getting over all our ‘stuff’ by the weekend. This doesn’t mean getting all happy every second, never to experience a negative emotion again.

It simply means becoming aware of what is there, and finding ways to deal with it so we can do the things we want to do, and be the person we really want to be. The more we know about our ‘enemies,’ the more effectively we can formulate a plan of attack.

For all my LOA enthusiasts out there, this work is particularly important for your manifesting. We really can’t shift energy in any meaningful way without facing all the unpleasantness that is dominant in our vibration and belief system. Remember..big difference between focusing on something that makes you feel badly—we don’t want to do that—and examining and shifting negative emotion that is already there.

With a willingness to stick around and see what is going on down there in the pit, you will be amazed at the insights and clarity you can gain. You can handle it…trust me.

Feeling Crappy Puts You in a Great Position to Consider How to Be Happy

Nothing will motivate us more to be happy than feeling like utter crap, am I right? If I had to guess, I would imagine most people who get into any sort of personal development work, are doing so because things aren’t going too well. I know that is what drove me.

I wasn’t utterly miserable, but there was just this undercurrent of discontent, and knowing there had to be more than what I was experiencing. I never felt worse than after the period when my father died. Not only was I grieving his death, I was experiencing a bunch of other problems, including severe financial issues. Let’s just say I didn’t feel great much of the time. And this really made me want to figure out a way to feel better.

When we are experiencing challenging times that are making us feel all sorts of bad, this puts us in a great position to think about what we would prefer instead. When things are just going okay, it is easy to just keep trudging along that way. We convince ourselves that if we don’t totally hate something, we should just put up with it. So long as we aren’t completely miserable, we should be happy for that.

But, again, some deliberate choices need to be made to reap the benefits. Naturally, you are likely focusing on all that is wrong with your life, all that you fear may befall you in the future, and a bunch of other super-fun stuff. You have to be willing to stop doing that, as least as much as you can. You’ll have moments where you get caught up..it’s fine, don’t beat yourself up.

You have to be willing to shift your focus and move from the ‘woe is me’ mode of operating. You feel like shit..noted. Now what would make you feel not like shit? What life would you rather be living? What type of person would you rather be than who you are now? This second question is not meant to be an exercise in berating yourself, but rather, an honest assessment of what really isn’t working for you right now, and what would be more desirable as far as your mindset, habits, behaviors, choices,etc…

Don’t worry how far away any of this seems..right now you are just in thinking mode. You are simply willing to entertain the idea that better things can happen for you, that things don’t have to be the way they have been, that you can pull through whatever it is you are dealing with now.

Don’t try to make giant leaps, or implement changes that you are not vibing with on an energetic level. But, seriously consider what you can start doing right now that would ease some of the pressure, that would create even a small degree of relief.

It wasn’t until my father died that I really gave some serious thought to who I really wanted to be, and the life I really wanted to live. I realized I didn’t have to keep doing things the way I had been. There was a clarity that I had not experienced before, and it was a result of simply letting myself actually think about these things, and ask very simple questions that we really don’t ponder all that much.

Adopting a Difference Perspective and Seeing the ‘Lessons’

When my sole source of income basically evaporated overnight, I am not going to lie– I went into quite the panic. Ryan and I had no savings to speak of, and his online ventures really hadn’t gained any steam. We were literally living off credit cards.

At this point, personal development and law of attraction were not new to me, but I definitely was not deeply entrenched. There were times I was really into it all, and times when I would just drift away from it. At the time this happened, I was more in drifting mode..I really wasn’t doing any deliberate’ work’ on myself.

This situation was less than ideal to say the least, and some deep fears rose to the surface. Fears about money, fears about not being able to live my life the way I wanted, fear outside circumstances would ‘get in the way’ of what I wanted, and a whole bunch more yuck.

At this point, I realized I had two choices. I could just succumb to all the fears and panic, and continue to feel absolutely terrible, or I could use this opportunity to really work on myself and turn things around. Because as much as I was freaking out, there was a part of me that knew things could turn out okay if I was willing to adopt a perspective that this was so. I realized I could choose how to view these circumstances.

And by this, I don’t mean going into denial and pretending I was okay. I mean actually feeling better. I realized that racking up debt on my credit card wasn’t the end of the world. I saw those credit cards as a blessing because without them, I don’t know what we would have done. I gave myself a chance to work through this stuff rather than just give up on what I wanted at the first sign of trouble.

Nothing happens to us randomly and there is always something to be learned. There were lots of lessons in me manifesting this situation. And by lessons, I don’t mean some force beyond us making bad things happen to teach us something. That is not why unwanted situations happen, but they are lessons in the sense we can certainly learn from them.

Challenging times present a tremendous opportunity to see where you need to clean things up mentally and emotionally. If you are willing to examine how a certain situation may have occurred based on your thoughts, feelings and beliefs, you can take back control.

But I want to make it clear that attracting a situation based on our inner workings does not mean’ bringing in on yourself, or getting what you’deserve.’ You are not being punished for anything. It is simply the result of a neutral force delivering our experience based on what we are putting out there.

You get to choose how you feel. You get to decide what will become of you.

In Closing…

The inner shifts I made as a result of less than ideal experiences were ones I may not have made otherwise—I really can’t say for sure as that is not the reality in which I found myself. But, in the course of events that have unfolded in my life, they were certainly a major player in the transformation that has led me to where I am today. And while at the time it sucked a lot, I do see the gifts contained within.

While it is important to do what we can to shift our energy, and adopt a different perspective, it is also important to let yourself feel your feelings. Don’t try to push things down and put on a happy face..that really won’t get you too far. You want to work on actually feeling better..you may not be able to go right from despair to unbridled joy, but you can make gradual shifts in between the two extremes.

And as you begin to feel better, and are open to the idea that something good can come of what you are going through, you will see all sorts of changes in your outside experience that will light the path for you. Have your pity parties, and honor the moments when you are just not feeling the whole ‘positivity ‘ thing, but never for one second believe that you don’t have an amazing ability to create whatever reality you most want for yourself.

Your Turn…

What did you think of this post? How have you dealt with challenging times in your own life? Did any part of this post really resonated with you? What tips would you give? Can’t wait for your comments.