The ‘theory’ of manifesting and the law of attraction, like all theories, doesn’t take into account the ‘real-world’ conditions in which you are attempting to apply this information.
When it comes to conscious creation, the kinks in our energy go way beyond just not believing the law of attraction is an actual ‘thing.’
If all your positive energy activation, and pleadings to the Universe to give you your stuff, has not been bearing much fruit, the problem is very simple. There is another energy that is stronger and is continuing to dominate your reality. LOA 101 here. I imagine you would like to change this, stop torturing yourself, start feeling better and see the changes in your life you know are possible.
Getting a better understanding of the energy that created what you don’t like and reining in all your mind’s bullshit is ALL you really need to do to see results in your life. Worked beautifully for me.